The India Fan (19 page)

My chances, if any, would be few and, as Polly would say, no sensible girl would turn them away without consideration; but I had made up my mind that I would prefer not to be married at all than because it was a convenient solution for Colin Brady.

I had to admit at the same time that I had been thinking just a little romantically of Dougal Carruthers. He was moderately good looking, gentle and courteous to everyone. Mrs. Jan-son was always delighted if he stayed to lunch. She was also very fond of Colin Brady, but I believed she had a special admiration for Dougal Carruthers.

I was becoming very interested in history and he brought books for me to read, which we discussed. One day he suggested that we ride to Grosham Castle, which was about eight miles away. It would be a day outing and Mrs. Janson could give us a picnic lunch to take with us. She was delighted to do this. Leave it to her, she said. She knew just what was wanted.

So early in the morning we set out from the Framling stables. It was a lovely summer day, not too hot, with a gentle breeze; and we made our leisurely way to the castle.

Dougal did not want to hurry. He liked to savour the countryside. He was interested in wildlife. We walked our horses side by side so that it was easier to talk. He told me that he was not looking forward to going to India. He would rather stay at home. He would have liked to be attached to some university and pursue his studies.

We reached the castle at about noon. The sun was getting warm and as we had made an early start we decided to take, a quick look at the ruins and after that refresh ourselves with what Mrs. Janson had prepared for us. After that we could explore more thoroughly.

Grosham was a shell, although the walls were intact and, riding up to it, one would have no idea that the interior had been destroyed.

We picked our way over the jutting stonesart of an inner wallast broken columns, over grass which was growing where once there had been a tiled hall.

Dougal indignation was great, for it was not natural age and decay which had ruined Grosham, but Cromwell soldiers.

In the shadow of the castle we opened the picnic basket to find legs of roasted chicken with salad and crusty bread with a pot of butter. There was fruit to follow, and a bottle of Mrs. Janson homemade elderberry wine.

We were hungry and the meal tasted especially delicious.

I did enjoy talking with Dougal and as I had been reading a great deal more since I had known him I was able to talk with confidence.

I had rarely seem him so indignant. o think that castle might be in perfect condition today but for that vandal.

ou are referring to the self-righteous Oliver, of course.

hate to see beautiful things spoilt.

ut he thought they were sinful.

hen he must have been a fool.

think he is not generally regarded as such.

eople can be wise in some ways and foolish in others.

hat true. Cromwell did raise an army and taught peasants how to fight. He did win a war and governed the country for a time.

e destroyed beautiful things and that is unforgivable.

e made war and destroyed people, which is worse. But he believed he was right, that he had God on his side. Can people be blamed for doing what they think right?

t is arrogant to think one is right when so many people have different views.

t is difficult to understand whether he was right or not. Some historians agree, others take the completely opposite view. It is not easy to form a judgement on such a man. About people like Nero and Caligula there are no possible doubts. But your opinion on Oliver Cromwell must be your own.

e destroyed beautiful things,insisted Dougal, nd that is something for which I cannot forgive him. When people kill in the name of God I feel more strongly against them than I would if they were openly cruel. That castle is just one example. When you think of what he did all over the country.

know. But the point is that he thought he was right and that he was doing the best for the people.

suppose you have a point. I love beauty so passionately. I cannot bear to see it destroyed.

believe that beautiful things mean more to you than they do to most people. Cromwell saw them as sinful because people worshipped them more than they did God.

He became animated in discussion. There was a faint colour in his pale, rather aesthetic face. I thought: I believe I could be very fond of him. He is the sort of person who becomes more interesting as one knows him. I could picture myself taking up his interests and making them mine. It would be a rich and rewarding way of living. Already he had opened up new ideas in my mind. He was a man of intellect, a lover of humanityxcept those who vandalized beautiful things. I had never seem him show such indignation towards a living person as he did towards Oliver Cromwell.

He seemed to follow my thoughts. He said, t has been a great pleasure to me to know you and your father.

t has been a great pleasure to us to know you.

iss Delany it seems absurd to address you so formally when there is such friendship between us. Perhaps I shall call you Drusilla.

t seems a good idea,I replied, smiling.

hat an excellent picnic this is.

shall tell Mrs. Janson what you say. She will be delighted.

rusilla

I never knew what he intended saying, for just at that moment we heard the sound of a horse hoofs approaching and as Dougal paused in surprise, Fabian rode up.

ello,he called. knew you were coming here so I thought I join the party. Food! What an excellent idea!He dismounted and tied up his horse with ours. re you going to invite me to join you?

I felt a faint annoyance. I had been serenely contented listening to Dougal and now this man had arrived to put me on the alert, to destroy that serenity.

I could not help saying, t seems you have invited yourself, Sir Fabian.

guessed you wouldn mind my joining you. Is that chicken?He stretched out a hand and took a leg. he bread looks delicious,he added.

t was made by Mrs. Janson.

n admirable cook, Mrs. Janson, as I learned when I had the pleasure of dining at the rectory. How good it tastes! I am so glad I came along.

ow did you know where we had gone?asked Dougal.

a. Devious methods. I shall not tell you. I might want to use the same again. It a wonderful old ruin, is it not? I am not surprised it aroused your interest. Outside perfect and inside not quite what you would expect. It is like some people, who present an innocent face to the world and hide secrets.

He was looking straight at me.

I said, e were discussing Oliver Cromwell.

n unpleasant fellow, I always thought.

here is one who would agree with you, Dougal,I said.

rusilla had a good word to say for him.

I read his thoughts. Drusilla? Dougal? He had noticed the use of Christian names and was considering the significance of this. He looked faintly displeased.

nd so Drusilla admired the man?

I replied, e believed he was right in doing what he did and that has to be taken in consideration when assessing people.

ou are very fairminded. I, of course, have to be grateful to him for leaving us Framling intact.

e was a strongminded man with firm views.

t is a necessity for a ruler. Is that wine? I wonder if I might partake.

I poured a little into a small tumbler which Mrs. Janson had thoughtfully provided. am afraid it is one I have used,I told him. rs. Janson naturally believed there would be only two of us.

am delighted to share your glass,he said, smiling at me. He sipped the wine. ectar of the gods,he murmured. our Mrs. Janson is a most excellent provider.

will pass on your compliments. I am sure she will be gratified.

ow delightful this is! We should do more of it. Alfresco picnics! What an excellent idea. Whose was it? Yours, Dougal or Drusilla, eh?

rs. Janson naturally provided some food, since we would not be returning to luncheon.

most thoughtful lady! Yes, certainly we should do more of this. You and Drusilla will be able to tell me of the antiquities we should explore. I confess being something of an ignoramus in these matters. But I am always ready for instruction.

Since he had come he dominated the conversation. The pleasant intimacy had gone. When we had packed up the remains of the meal and were exploring the castle it seemed different. He was there, making me uneasy now and then and casting his amused glance on me from time to time. It seemed to be a speculative glance and it both irritated and disturbed me.

The magic had gone out of the afternoon and he had a way of making our comments about the castle sound pretentious.

We curtailed the exploration considerably and thus returned to the Framling stables an hour or so earlier than we had expected to.

Two days later, Dougal came to the rectory. My father expressed his great pleasure and Mrs. Janson brought out wine and her special wine-biscuits into the drawing room, where we were.

She purred rather like a cat to show her pleasure. She liked distinguished visitors to come to the rectory and Dougal was certainly one of those.

As soon as she had gone I poured out the wine.

Dougal said, have come to tell you that I shall be leaving tomorrow.

hope you will be coming back soon,replied my father.

hope to. This is a matter of trouble in my family. My cousin has had a fall from his horse and is rather badly injured. I must go to see him.

s he far from here?I asked.

bout sixty miles. It a place called Tenleigh.

have heard of it,said my father. ome Roman remains were discovered nearby on the Earl of Tenleigh land, I believe.

es, that is so.

ery interesting. Fine mosaic pavings and baths. What a wonderful race the Romans were. They brought benefits to the lands they occupied, which is, of course, what a conqueror should do. It was a great tragedy that they should have become decadent and their empire fade away.

t is the fate of many civilizations,Dougal commented. t is almost like a pattern.

ne day there might be one to break free of the pattern,I suggested.

hat may well be,agreed Dougal.

e shall miss your visits,my father told him.

Dougal smiled from my father to me. shall miss them, too,he said.

I was a little sad that he was going away. I went to the door with him to say goodbye. He took my hands and held them firmly.

am sorry to have to go just now,he said. was so enjoying our meetings. I was planning some more excursions like those to the castle. There are so many interesting places all over England. It has been such a pleasure.

ell, perhaps when you have seen your cousin

shall be back. You may be assured of that. I shall insist on being invited.

daresay my father would be pleased if you stayed with us. We can offer you the grandeur of Framling, of course.

should so much enjoy that, but wouldn it be putting you out?

ot in the least. There is plenty of room at the rectory and Mrs. Janson would enjoy cooking special meals for you.

t would not be the food I came for. Food for the mind is another matter.

ell, think about it.He looked at me earnestly and went on, rusilla He stopped and I looked enquiringly at him. Then he went on, es, I should so much like to stay here. Il just get over this matter and then wel talk.

should like that,I said.

He leaned towards me and kissed me lightly on the cheek.

Then he had gone.

I felt a sudden contentment. The relationship between us had deepened and that gave me a feeling of great serenity.

The future seemed suddenly promising.

I thought a good deal about Dougal during the days that followed. I believed that in time he would ask me to marry him. Dougal was a thoughtful person. He was seriousminded; he would not make hasty decisions. That he was attracted to me, I knew; yet our friendship had grown steadily and I felt that was the best way it should grow. Ever since I had overheard that comment in the Framling gardens I had recognized the fact that I was plain and that no man was going to fall violently in love with me on account of my beauty, for I had none. But relationships were formed in other ways, and I believed that one founded on mutual understanding would be firmer than a blinding passion for a beauty.

Dougal had been away for a week. Fabian was in London, a fact for which I was glad. I could well do without his disturbing presence. I was becoming obsessed by the thought of Janine and my dreams about The Firs kept recurring. I had an idea that if I went to the New Forest and saw the place for myself, I might discover something from the local people. Janine had been so close to us during those anxious months and had done so much to help us, I just could not forget her.

I was in constant communication with Polly, who kept me informed of Fleur progress, and I wrote to her and told her of my concern about Janine and how I could not forget the fire at The Firs and the terrible tragedy that had overtaken all those people among whom for a short time I had lived.

Polly had an idea. What if I came to London? She and I could take a trip to the place. Eff would be in sole charge of Fleur, which would please her. And so it was arranged.

I left the rectory and this time travelled alone to London.

Polly was at the station to meet me and there was the usual affectionate greeting.

Then there was the joy of seeing Fleur and Eff again. Fleur had grown amazingly; she now toddled and could even say something that sounded like Eff Poll yes noquite emphatically this last. She was enchanting and seemed very satisfied with life.

Eff and Polly vied for her affection and she gave it with regal unconcern; and it was quite clear to me that no mother could give a child more love than did those two dear people.

Polly had made plans for our visit. She suggested we go the next day and spend the night at one of the inns nearby. She had discovered through Third Floor Back in one of the houseswho most fortuitously knew the districthat The Feathers was the best one and she had taken the precaution of booking two rooms for the night.