The India Fan (22 page)

ive me time. Just give me time. Oh, Drusilla, you have always been my best friend. Promise you won say anything yet.

wouldn say anything without telling you first, but I won have your brother hinting at things.

owever did you let him guess there was a baby!

told you he followed me.

ut why should he follow you? It could only be that he suspected something like this. It not as though

am the sort of girl men follow?I finished for her. obody could be interested in me, of course.

ell,she began.

on feel you have to wriggle out of that,I said. know I not the beauty you are.

ell, there is that Mr. Brady. Mama thinks it would be most suitable.

o thank her for her concern,I said.

he likes everything to run smoothly in the neighbourhood.

am sure she does. But I don propose to be someone neat ending to a problem.

h look who coming.

I looked and saw Dougal approaching us.

ama invited him,went on Lavinia. o you know, he is an earl now. Mama insisted that he come and stay.

I was pleased to see him. My friendship with him had been so refreshing and promising. His regard for me restored my faith in myself.

h Drusilla Lavinia,he said. He was smiling at us. Lavinia was standing a little apart. The faint wind ruffled the tendrils and as she put up a hand to her hair the green material of her loose, rather Grecian-style gown flapped round her, clinging to her figure.

Dougal could not take his eyes from her. I saw the light in them and I remembered his adoration of beautiful objects.

He looked rather startled, as though he were seeing something for the first time. It was the new Lavinia, in her studiedly simple gown with her escaping curls and her tigerish eyes.

I knew in that moment that he had fallen in love with her or that he was on the brink of doing so.

The moment passed. He was smiling his gentle smile at me, asking how my father was, telling me that he would be soon coming to see us if he might.

I said my father would be delighted.

have discovered two new books on the Conquest,he said. must bring them over.

I was not thinking so much of the Norman Conquest as of Lavinia.

I did not go into the house with them. I excused myself. here is so much to do at the rectory.

ven now you have that nice curate,said Lavinia a little roguishly. hear you and he get on very well together.

e is very efficient,I said.

am so glad you came and that he is so nice,said Lavinia. ell, see you soon, Drusilla. Drusilla and I are the greatest friends,she went on, turning to Dougal. e always have been.Some spirit of mischief seemed to take hold of her. I think she knew of my feelings for Dougal. She was also aware that he had just been blinded by her great beauty. A few moments before she had been terrified that her secret might be revealed, but now she had forgotten the past and was revelling in the present. Admiration always stimulated her. rusilla and I were at school together. It was in France.

know,Dougal told her.

hat sort of thing draws people together,went on Lavinia. e had some exciting times there, didn we, Drusilla?

She was laughing at me, triumphing over the spell she had cast on Dougal. She would have heard rumours of his attachment to the rectory and its inhabitants; she was savouring her triumph to such an extent that she forgot to be anxious about Janine.

I felt angry, humiliated and hurt. I went back sombrely to the rectory.

Mrs. Janson said, hat Lady Harriet is making a dead set at that Mr. Carruthers oh, beg his pardon, the Earl of Tenleigh if you please. Well, it stands to reason. That Miss Lavinia goes up to London. The most beautiful debutante, they say the Debutante of the Season. All very well, but where this duke that Lady Harriet thinks she going to get? All that season and not one in sight. I reckon that won please her ladyship. An earl will have to do, and what she doing going up to London when she got one right on her own doorstep? I can tell you, there are some goings-on up at the House. Lady Harriet says he must come. She insists and earl as he is, he can refuse Lady Harriet. I reckon something will come of this. Lady Harriet will see to it.

That was what I overheard, and when I appeared she was silent. I was sure that long ago they had paired me off with Dougal as a first and Colin Brady as a second.

Mrs. Janson liked Dougal and he had been a frequent visitor. They were sure he was, as they said, weet on me.But now Lady Harriet was making a rare fuss of Dougal. Mrs. Janson had it from the maids there. ow that he got this title and money it been a leg up for him. Before, he was just a friend of Sir Fabian treated just like one of them young boys from the school. Now it a different matter. We didn see him so much then Why, there was a time when he seemed to make the rectory his home.

He did come over to bring the books he had spoken of. My father was delighted to see him and they had long discussions together. I went in and joined them. I did fancy he was a little subdued with me. He made a special effort to include me in the conversation, whereas previously it had been done without effort. I remembered how we had talked just before he left, when I had been foolish enough to think that he was on the point of making a declaration.

It was a bitter blow to my pride rather than to my deep emotions. I was not sure what I really felt about Dougal, except that he was a very pleasant and interesting friend. I had allowed myself to envisage a future with him and I had believed it could be very rewarding. How foolish I had been! Of course, he liked to talk to me about things that interested him, and he would never be able to talk to Lavinia in that way. But that was not love. It was not what people married for. The beauty of Lavinia had suddenly struck him and he could not help but marvel at it.

I did not go over to the stables for I would not avail myself of Fabian offer. I wanted to take nothing from him. Moreover, I avoided Framling, for fear of meeting him.

I was in the rectory garden one day when he came riding by.

rusilla,he called. t is such a long time since I saw you.

I merely replied, ood morning,and turned to go into the house.

trust you are well. And your father?

hank you, yes.

ou know, of course, that Dougal is here.

e has been to see my father.

nd you too, I daresay. I know what good friends you are.

I did not answer.

hope you are not still put out with me. I think I rather allowed my feeling to get the better of my good manners.

Still I did not answer.

am sorry,he went on humbly. ou must forgive me.

t is of no importance. Please forget it.

ou are very generous.

must go in now.

here is so much to do at the rectory.He spoke mockingly, finishing my sentence for me.

hat is true,I retorted sharply.

here is quite a flutter of excitement at the House,he went on.

In spite of myself I waited to hear what had caused this.

e are expecting them to announce it shortly.

I felt the blood rushing to my head.

avinia and Dougal,he added. y mother is delighted.

I looked at him steadily, my eyebrows raised.

He nodded, smilingas it maliciously? y mother says there is no need to delay long. Why should they? It is not as though they were strangers. They have known each other for a long time. They have suddenly realized how they feel. People do, you know. My mother is all for an early wedding. I am sure you will be pleased for them, for you know them both so well.

t is most suitable.

hat what my mother thinks.

I thought angrily: Yes, since Dougal acquired a title and a fortune and the London season did not produce anyone of higher rank.

daresay Lavinia will be coming over to tell you the good news. Dougal too, perhaps. They will want you to give them your blessing.

I felt a great need to get away from his probing eyes. I knew what he was telling me. You have lost Dougal. My mother will never let him slip out of her hands now. It was different before he came into this glory.

He raised his hand, inclined his head and, murmuring u revoir,rode off.

A month after the arrival of Dougal at Framling the engagement was announced between the Earl of Tenleigh and the beautiful Miss Lavinia Framling, the debutante of the season.

I did not go to Framling to congratulate Lavinia. She came to me. I could see at once that she was disturbed.

hat the matter?I asked. ou don look like the happy betrothed.

t that woman Janine. She wants more money.

told you how it is with blackmailers. You should never submit in the first place.

hy should this have happened to me?

ou have to pay for your sins.

only did what a lot of people do.She was aggrieved and I felt a sudden anger sweep over me. She had had so much and now she had taken Dougal. I had analysed my feelings for him and I was desperately hurt. But I was honest enough to admit to myself that it was mainly my pride that had been wounded. It had been hard for me to realize that at first, for I had enjoyed his friendship and I had thought of eventual marriage as a pleasant prospect. It would have been a wonderful experience to be loved by a man whom I could trust.

But could I have trusted him if our close relationship, which might have developed into a serious commitment, could have been shattered by the appearance of a girl just because she happened to be outstandingly beautiful?

I whipped up my anger against Lavinia. These Framlings seemed to think the whole world was made for them. Lavinia believed she could commit the greatest indiscretion, have a child even and everyone should cover up for her and leave her to sail happily on. As for her brother, he had thought he could insult me and then come along and behave as though nothing untoward had happened.

I was tired of the Framlings.

nd,Lavinia, was saying, haven come here to be quoted at from the Bible. I suppose that is in the Bible. You, Miss Know-all, would be aware of that.

sorry, Lavinia. You must get yourself out of your own troubles.

h, Drusilla.She had run to me and flung her arms round my neck. elp me, please. I know you can. I didn mean to say those silly things. I at the end of my tether. I am really. If Mama or Dougal found out I just kill myself Ie thought about jumping out of my window.

ou land on the furze bush, which would be very uncomfortable.

h, help me, please, Drusilla.

ow can I?

thought you might see her.

? What good would that do?

he likes you. She thinks youe interesting. She told me you were worth a dozen of me. I know she right.

hanks. Il remember that. But talking to her would do no good.

t might if you did.

hat could I say?

ou could tell her how good Ie been so far and if she would wait a little time until I married Il be very rich and Il do something for her then. I will. I promise.

don think she would believe in your promises, Lavinia.

ou promise for me. Tell her youl be a sort of witness and youl make sure she gets the money. It is only a matter of waiting.

think you should go to your mother or your brother or Dougal and tell the truth.

ow could I? Dougal might refuse to marry me.

believe he is a very understanding young man.

e wouldn understand. He be furious. He believes in perfection.

e has a shock waiting for him when he marries you.

am going to try to be a good wife to him.

What a fool he is! I thought. He wants to marry Lavinia without knowing her. Even the village idiot would know better than that; and Dougal is supposed to be clever! Well, he would discover, I thought, with a certain satisfactionnd Lavinia was not the sort to change just because she was married to the indulgent husband he would probably be.

Lavinia went on pleadingly, ee been such good friends ever since we met.

remember the time well. You were not the most charming of hostesses. It is rather unwise of you to recall that occasion if you are trying to show the loving nature of our relationship.

top being clever, Drusilla. You are too clever and always showing off. Men don like it. I never do that.

ou are showing off, as you call it, all the time.

es, but only in the right way. Drusilla, stop beating about the bush. Do say youl help me. I know you will in the long run. You are just making me suffer.

ut what can I do?

told you. Go and see Janine. Explain to her.

hy don you?

ow could I go to London? You could easily. You can just say you have gone to see Polly.

I hesitated. I always felt better after a visit to Polly. She would understand how I felt about Dougal engagement. I had no need to go into explanations with Polly. I could talk to her as I could to myself. I could see Fleur. The child was beginning to get a hold on me. She could pronounce her version of my name. Polly had written, ou should hear Eff go on at her. Who got a nice Aunty Drusilla, eh? Whose Aunty Drusilla is coming to see her soon?That how she goes on.Yes, it would be wonderful to be with Polly, Eff and Fleur. Moreover, I had a raging curiosity to see Janine.

Lavinia could see that I was wavering.

ou love Fleur,she said. he a little darling.

ow do you know? You never see her.

going to when I get this sorted out. When I know Dougal better Il tell him. I will, really. I know hel say I can have her with me.

hat would be the last thing Fleur would want. Don you understand that children are not pieces to be moved round a board as people want to for their convenience?

oue being the governess again.

omebody has to try to teach you a few facts of life.

know. I wicked. But I can help it. I trying to be good. Once I married to Dougal I shall settle down. Oh please please, Drusilla.

here does she live?

e written it down. I went there to take the fifty pounds. Il tell you how to get there. It not so very far from Polly place.

I took the address. iddler Green, Number 20,said Lavinia. t easy to find.