Authors: Chelsea Lynn Charters
I felt out of breath as I asked him, “Is it going to upset me?”
Trace nodded. “I think so.”
That’s when my face started to heat up and I couldn’t help but jump to the worst possible assumption. Which was this: Trace didn’t want to be with me anymore. He missed his friends and he couldn’t handle being social reject like I could. That had to be it. I could feel my eyes sting and I looked off, not wanting him to catch me upset. Besides, he hadn’t even told me yet.
“Okay…” I whispered. “What is it?”
“I---” he began, but I cut him off.
“Did I do something wrong, Trace?” I asked shakily. “If I did…I’m sorry.”
He looked taken aback, my question catching him off guard. “What? No! You haven’t done anything wrong, Jade. You’re perfect.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “Then what is it, Trace? You know you can tell me anything, right?”
Trace appeared grim as he replied, “You’re not going to want to hear this, Jade. Trust me.” He looked off before adding, “You’re going to hate me. I just know it.”
Shaking my head in frustration, I muttered, “Will you please just tell me? Nothing you can say will make me hate you.”
“Alright, fine…I’ll tell you,” Trace replied with a sigh.
I crossed my arms and watched him, waiting patiently for him to spill it.
“I don’t know if you remember, but when I came back to West Havenbrook, I became a different person. I wasn‘t the same Trace Gibson you knew before.”
“Oh, I remember,” I replied irritably. “You definitely weren’t my old friend. He wouldn‘t have ignored me or pretended like I didn‘t exist.” I bit my lip, embarrassed that I had interrupted. “Sorry,” I mumbled, and I waited patiently for him to continue.
Trace frowned. “It wasn’t so much that I ignored you, it was more that I didn’t want you to see how shallow I had become. Having to deal with my father’s death…those first few years changed me, and when I think back now, I can’t believe that I behaved that way. Especially towards you. I hate myself for hurting you, Jade.”
I remained quiet, surprised that he was telling me all of this. He had apologized to me before, but this was different. Hearing about how horrible he felt those last few years somehow made up for how he treated me. Well, maybe not completely, but I realized that I forgave him. No matter what he had done to me, I still loved him and always would.
“It’s alright, Trace,” I said, reaching out to squeeze his arm. “I forgive you for everything. It’s in the past…we don’t have to keep rehashing bad memories.”
Trace’s face grew ashen as he listened to my response, and I wondered why.
“Jade, please…don’t,” he said weakly.
I was confused. What was he so upset about? I already told him I forgave him. “But Trace, I---”
“Just listen to me, please.” He looked off before continuing, “That’s not all I wanted to say, Jade. There’s something else you need to know…it’s about Gloria.”
Just hearing her name made me burn with anger. What could he possibly have to tell me about Gloria? What connection did she have to us?
“What about Gloria, Trace?” I asked him eagerly. “Why is she important in this conversation?”
Trace sighed and glanced away, shutting his eyes before replying, “Because I know why Gloria has been attacking you all these years. I know why she hates you.”
“You do?” I was baffled. “How?”
“It’s because of me, Jade. She hates you because of me.”
I frowned with uncertainty. “What? Why?” When he didn’t respond to my question, I mumbled, “I don’t understand, Trace.”
Tilting his head to gaze back at me, Trace replied, “Why do you think I broke up with her, Jade?”
I shrugged, completely oblivious. It was when he rose his brows and nodded his head in my direction that I realized he was talking about me. “You broke up with her for me?” I gasped, completely shocked by his admission.
“Duh,” he muttered with a smile. “And that’s not the only reason she was so pissed.”
“What else is there?” I asked breathlessly.
Bowing his head slightly as he took a slow step in my direction, Trace whispered, “I told her I was in love with you.”
I froze, unsure if I had heard him right. “What did you just say?” I asked.
He nodded solemnly. “Yeah, it’s true, Jade. I love you.”
My jaw dropped in disbelief. Here he was, the very popular, very handsome Trace Gibson, declaring his love for me---something I had fantasized about for years, and I was speechless. My mind screamed at me to tell him I loved him back, but I was too overwhelmed. Then, I felt my feet give out from under me, and I staggered; Trace caught me before I hit the ground.
“Jade! Are you okay?” He asked me worriedly, smoothing my arms as he grasped me tightly.
I gazed blankly up at him as he lifted me onto my feet. After finding the strength to nod, I then tried to stand on my own.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said breathlessly, my cheeks turning red. I couldn’t believe I had almost fainted in front of him.
Trace kissed my forehead gently and replied, “You have no idea how scared I was to tell you. I didn’t know how you’d react.”
“Trace, I---” My voice fell and I pouted, glancing down at my feet. I was nervous to tell him that I felt the same way too. Even now, after he had poured out his heart, I still couldn’t find the confidence to divulge my own feelings. Why did I always fear telling him how I felt?
“Oh, okay. I get it,” Trace’s voice cracked, and my head snapped up in alarm, noticing the pained expression etched across his face.
“What?” I whispered worriedly.
His frown deepened as he mumbled, “You don’t feel the same way I do. It’s fine. I understand…” and then Trace looked off, avoiding my watching eyes.
I sighed at the sight of his distress, and I was surprised that my silence actually bothered him. What was wrong with me? Trace has made it crystal clear that he cares about me, so why couldn’t I just get over this fear I harbored? As I watched him fidget anxiously, I knew that if I didn’t speak up now, I could lose him forever. Instead of only using my words, I decided to take a more bold approach.
My heart pounded rapidly, but I ignored it as I lifted a hand up to touch his face,. Gazing steadily into his beautiful blue eyes, I whispered, “No, Trace, you‘re wrong. I do feel the same way. I always have.” His face glowed at my reply, and I smiled as I lifted my head up to kiss his lips.
When the kiss ended, I knew my face was as bright as a cherry, but I didn’t care. Trace didn’t seem to mind though. He didn’t say a word, only grinned stupidly as he dragged a hand through his hair. I didn’t know what to say either as we stood there awkwardly, both of us grinning like idiots.
Trace was the first to speak. “Jade, remember when I told you I wanted to ask you an important question?”
“Yes,” I whispered anxiously. “When Freddie interrupted you?”
Trace’s face sparked at the mention of his best friend, but the anger quickly melted away as he replied, “Yeah.”
“Well then, ask away,” I said with a smile.
Trace nodded and reached for my hands. His eyes sparkled as he caressed my fingers gently, and his palms were sweaty when he finally asked, “Jade, will you be my girlfriend?”
There. It happened. He asked me…and my heart warmed at the idea of being only his. I was completely overwhelmed, but I couldn’t hold back my happiness as I smiled and jumped into his arms, nodding against his chest.
“Yes!” I cooed, squeezing him tightly. “I’ll be your girlfriend, Trace.”
Trace laughed, obviously surprised by my behavior. He kissed my cheek gently, and after a few moments of silence, he whispered, “Thank you, Jade.”
“For what?” I breathed.
“For never giving up on me.” He then kissed the top of my red head and added, “And for not getting upset over Gloria.”
“It’s okay---” I began to say, but I stopped as realization dawned on me. I felt absolutely stupid for not recognizing the truth sooner.
Then, as fast as my happiness came, it melted away. It was as if it didn’t matter anymore; all that mattered was his lies. All these years, he knew why Gloria treated me like shit. I always wondered why she didn’t like me, why she made me the frontrunner of her jokes and schemes! But it had nothing to do with me, Jade Cannon---it never did. It had always been about Trace. She hated me because of him!
My body grew stiff in his embrace and I moved away quickly, eyeing him distastefully. He frowned and reached for my arm, but I tugged it away. I couldn’t even look him in the eye when he asked me, “What‘s wrong, Jade?”
“For years, I‘ve been picked on and tortured---humiliated even…” I spoke the words slowly, on the verge of crying. “And now you’re telling me that it was done out of jealousy? Pathetic jealousy that you knew about all along?”
He nodded grimly but didn’t reply.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Trace?” I asked him angrily. “Why?”
“I didn’t want you to hate me,” he murmured.
“Well, at least you were looking out for yourself, right?” I glanced away, hurt that he could be so selfish. “What about me, Trace, huh? What about me?” I yelled at him.
“Jade, please. I’m so sorry.” Trace looked worried, and he should’ve been. I didn’t know what I was going to do or say next.
“You’re always sorry, aren’t you!” I shouted, tears falling down my cheeks. I didn’t wipe them away; they were the least of my worries at the moment. “How do you think I feel right now?” I continued, my hands bawled into fists. “After finding out that years of ridicule had nothing to do with me! My entire high school experience has been shit, Trace---and it’s all thanks to you!”
I shook my head and looked off, thinking of all the nasty rumors Gloria had spread about me over the years. All of it was done out of petty jealousy and nothing more. My life was joke because of nothing! Gloria was wicked, but I was shocked that she would stoop so low. I had absolutely no respect for her…and I had none left for Trace either. They were both villains in my eyes.
“I could’ve had an okay adolescence, Trace, but you took it away from me…and I can never get it back!” I was shaking as I added, “I can’t believe you kept this to yourself. If you cared about me as much as you say you do, you would have told me the truth.”
His frown deepened, and his blue eyes dimmed. “I know, Jade. I should’ve told you sooner...”
“Yes, you should have!” I sighed angrily and walked over to my front door, placing one hand on the knob before glancing back at him. I overlooked the pain in his eyes and said, “I want you to leave, Trace.”
“What?” He asked me anxiously. “No, Jade. Wait---”
I held up my hand and whispered, “Please, Trace…you need to go. I can’t look at you right now.”
I ignored Trace’s pleas and opened the door, and I didn’t look back at him before I walked into my house. After slamming the door shut, I cried out in agony and leaned against it. I wanted to scream! How could he do this to me? If he knew all this time why Gloria picked on me, why didn’t he just tell me? It would’ve saved me years of grief! I didn’t know how I could forgive Trace for this betrayal---but the bigger question was if I even wanted to try? I shook my head and decided not to answer that question in my present state.