Authors: Chelsea Lynn Charters
I smiled at her observation. “Yeah?”
“Totally. Just by the way he looks at you, you can tell he’s got it bad.” She paused for a moment before adding, “I wish Jason would look at me that way.”
Laughing as she started going on about his nonexistent manners and ego, my mind drifted off as I tried to picture Trace and I as a couple. I could see it clearly in my mind; he would kneel to one knee, take my hand in his and say….
“Jade? Are you listening to me?” Heidi snapped, bringing me back to reality.
“Yeah, of course, Heidi. Jason is such a jerk to you. I don’t know why you put up with him.”
She sighed then. “I don’t know either. It’s just…he’s so handsome! Just one look at his chiseled jaw and olive skin and I’m mush.”
I rolled my eyes. Leave it to Heidi to be completely shallow. “Well, I think you can do better than Jason Wheatley. There‘s tons of guys in the sea.”
“Maybe…but I’m afraid to try.”
I was surprised by her comment. “What? Why would you be afraid?”
“You don’t know this about me, Jade…but sometimes I feel like no one notices me. Especially Jason.” She laughed suddenly and added, “And I’ve always been jealous of you.”
“Heidi, What?” I was flabbergasted.
Here she was, my gorgeous best friend, telling me that she was envious of me, plain Jade Cannon? How could this be? It didn’t make any sense. She was beautiful, and bubbly, and popular! No one treated her horribly----no one laughed at her misfortunes…but even if they had, she wouldn’t have paid them any notice. Heidi was stronger than I was, and I had always wished to be more like her. She forever had the backbone that I lacked.
“What are you talking about, Heidi? You’re awesome!” I told her.
“No, I’m not,” she replied faintly.
I bit my lip, unsure of what to say to her. I didn’t want to pry into her business, but I would listen openly if she spilled her guts. After all, that’s what best friends are for. As soon as I was done chewing my lip, I said. “If you want to tell me what’s bothering you, Heidi---”
“I just feel so fake!” She interrupted hastily.
My brows rose and I asked, “When do you feel that way?”
“All the time.” I heard rustling from her line before she added, “I’ve wanted to be an actress for so long---ever since I was a little girl. I don’t know what happened, Jade…but I feel like the person who I am today isn’t the real me. It’s like I lost her along the way...”
“Heidi, don’t say that!” I told her angrily. “I love who you are!”
“I know I get on your nerves,” she answered me quietly.
I frowned at her comment. “What? No, you don’t---”
“Come on, Jade! I’m overdramatic about everything. My mother hates it, you hate it. Jason probably hates it too.”
I couldn’t believe it, but at that moment I was one hundred percent speechless. I felt like such a horrible best friend. Was it really that obvious that she sometimes got on my nerves? It couldn’t be! I loved Heidi like she were my own sister…and I had never treated her poorly in any way! Even when she drove me insane. No matter what craziness Heidi dragged me into, I always stuck by her side.
“Heidi, I---”
“It’s okay, Jade,” Heidi laughed. “Don’t you think I hear myself? I know how I act, and I can’t stand it…but for some reason I can’t stop. It’s like I’m stuck this way or something. I wish there was a restart button or something.”
“Heidi, you’re in control of your own life. You can do whatever it is that you want to do. If you want to become a different person, than try!”
“I guess you’re right…”
I smiled into the receiver and replied, “Of course I’m right! Aren’t I always?”
She giggled. “Yeah, pretty much. Smarty-pants.”
I sighed, disappointed in myself for not being there for her. She was the closet person to me, yet I didn’t know how much she doubted herself. How selfish was I? Trace wasn’t the only person in my life important to me. Heidi had always been there for me, how could I have let her down like this? I didn’t deserve to be called her best friend.
“Heidi, I’m really sorry that I didn‘t see that you were feeling this way,” I told her softly. “I should’ve noticed.”
“Don’t worry about it, Jade. You’ve had a lot on your plate recently. From Gloria to Trace---you’ve dealt with a bunch of stuff this year.”
Frowning into the phone, I replied, “That’s not an excuse, Heidi. You’re my best friend. I don’t know where I would be if I didn’t have you in my life.”
“Aw, Jade. Don’t get all mushy on me or I might start crying,” she laughed.
“Well, just so you know how much you mean to me, next weekend, you’re spending the night. We’ll go shopping, see a movie…hang out more, like we used to.”
“Sounds good,” she replied. Heidi‘s line went silent for a moment before she added, “I think I hear my mother calling me. Hold on.“
I waited, smiling as I overheard Heidi scream her responses to her mom. She returned a few seconds later, sounding a bit annoyed. “Sorry, Jade, but I have to get off of the phone now. It‘s my turn to make dinner. Yay.”
I smiled at the thought of Heidi cooking. Not a pretty sight. “Okay, talk to you later then.”
“Bye, Jade. And thanks for cheering me up.”
“No problem. That’s what best friends are for,” I replied.
I heard a click, and she was gone. Staring at my now silent cell-phone, I toyed with the idea of calling Trace, and then I realized that I hadn’t called him ever. My heart drummed rapidly as I clicked through my address book, only to wind up at his name. I could call him, I mean, where would be the harm in that? We were sort of together, so it was natural for me to want to talk to him. Trace wouldn’t be bothered by that, would he?
I clicked on his name and brought the phone to my ear, waiting as it ringed. On the fourth ring, I was about to give up, but I heard the click from the other line and the sound of someone breathing. For some reason I felt exuberated.
“Hello? Trace?” I asked for him hastily, then rolled my eyes at my desperation.
“Hey, Jade.” His voice seemed unnerved. “What’s up?”
I clicked my tongue, debating what to say. Oh God, what should I say? There were so many choices, but the only thing I could come up with was, “Nothing. I’m bored.” Bored? Oh man, was I pathetic.
Trace laughed and replied, “Yeah, me too.”
“Oh? Good. I mean, not good!” I clenched my teeth at my senselessness. My mind screamed at me to get a grip. It had always amazed me that Trace could leave me at a loss for words.
He laughed some more before saying, “Jade, listen, I was actually going to call you first, but you beat me to it.”
“Yeah?” I couldn’t help but smile as I remembered his mysterious question. “Don’t you have something you want to ask me?” I inquired happily.
“You remembered,” he said, and I could feel his smile through the phone.
“Of course I did,” I replied.
“Well, about that…I was wondering if I could come over? I would much rather ask you in person.” He paused before adding, “And there’s something else…something important that I need to tell you.”
Could it be that he wanted to ask me that special question, and that‘s why he wanted to do it in person? Just the mere thought of him asking made me gleam with joy, but I suddenly wondered about the other thing. He sounded odd, solemn almost when he had mentioned it. What was it that he wanted to tell me?
“Jade, you still there?” His voice snapped me back to reality.
“Yes!” I replied hastily. Upon swallowing, I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. “Of course you can come over, Trace,” I told him coolly.
“Sweet. I’ll see you in a bit. Bye.”
When he hung up, I threw my phone onto the bed and rushed into the bathroom. After checking my reflection a dozen times, and after making sure I looked presentable enough for him, I wandered back to my room in a daze. It was silly, but I honestly still couldn’t believe how close we had become. It was like I was stuck in a dream or something. Not that I was complaining. I would’ve given anything to have Trace’s attention.
Deciding to use my time wisely, I cracked open my Literature book and planned to do some homework while I waited for him. I didn’t do much work though as I stared mindlessly at the text on the page, checking the time every few seconds and not once answering any of the questions on my assignment sheet. My attention eventually drifted off, and I simply sat at my desk fantasizing about Trace while I waited for him.
Trace showed up twenty minutes later;
my father let me know he had arrived. I had been in my room trying to study, when he knocked on my door, and by the stern expression on his face, I knew that he was still bothered by my relationship with Trace. I mentally wished that I hadn’t confided in him all those years ago, because if I hadn’t, he wouldn’t be so cross about it now.
“Dad, Trace is a good guy,” I tried to convince him as I switched off the light in my room. “I wouldn’t be seeing him otherwise.”
My father nodded grimly. “I’ll just have to trust your judgment, I guess.” Upon frowning, he added, “I almost forgot…I’ve got to go into work early tonight, Jade. Erika will be here if you need anything.”
“Right,” I replied shortly. “Just tell her I’ll be outside with Trace. See you later, Dad.”
“Okay. Have fun.”
After giving me a quick peck on the cheek, he wandered into the kitchen, where I assumed Erika was lurking. I rushed down the hall towards the front door, opening it to reveal Trace, who was leaning against the porch railing, staring down the driveway. I shut the door softly and walked over to him, planting myself close.
He twisted his head and smiled down at me. “Hey, Jewels.”
“Hi,” I responded, breathing in his scent. Oh how I loved the way he smelt.
Trace turned his body and pulled me into his arms. I said nothing as he held me close, only relished the warm sensation that passed through me. After kissing the top of my head, he let me go. Trace bit his lip and glanced off, dragging a hand through his hair. It was at this moment that I realized something was wasn‘t right with him.
“Trace? What’s wrong?” I asked softly.
Gazing back at me, he replied, “Why do you think something is wrong?”
“Because you’re acting nervous,” I told him bluntly. “You only touch your hair when you’re worried or upset.”
“Really? How do you know---”
“I know you, Trace. Like I‘ve told you before…I can always tell when something‘s not right with you.”
He frowned suddenly. “Damn…well, I guess there’s no point in hiding it now.” Trace reached for my hands before saying, “Jade, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you…but I’m not sure how you’ll react.”
I rose my brows at his admission. What did he have to tell me? It couldn’t be bad, could it? All day I’d assumed he was going to ask me the one thing that would make me the happiest girl in the world, but as I stared into his troubled blue eyes, I realized that perhaps he wasn’t. Maybe this whole time he never intended on asking me to be his girlfriend.