The Escape Collection: (The Escape Collection) (61 page)

I looked into his eyes and then down to my hand in his. I shook my head, a slight movement. “No.”

Chapter 17

After Jason had left the night before, I’d turned my attention back to drawing. The pictures were good, but I was restless. I didn’t have to dig deep to realize it was Jason who was distracting me. Or more accurately, it was the way he made me feel that was distracting me. Even so, I kept filling pages of the sketchbook with my pencil strokes until finally the dwindling light forced me inside. I’d fallen into bed and directly into a deep sleep. Waking up rested wasn’t a feeling I was used to. I liked it.
 

I’d also woken up with a need to talk to the girls, but after I checked my messages, I decided to drive down the mountain to make the call. I told myself it was because the reception was better, but if I was being honest, it was because I didn’t want to share any part of the cabin or my new-found happiness. I wasn’t ready.
 

Besides, I had an apology to make. I looked through the windshield, across the parking lot, to the door of Sheena’s shop before returning my attention to the ringing phone at my ear.

“Jon?”

“Becca, thank God. Why haven’t you been answering the phone? I’ve been worried sick.”

Guilt flashed through me. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I don’t get the greatest reception here.”

That was true.

“Where are you?” Jon asked.

“Just leave it.”

“Leave it? How can I just leave it, Becca? Where the hell are you?”

I sighed and stepped out of the car, gulping in the fresh air. “Jon, I called because I want to, no, I need to talk to the girls.”

“They’re not here.”

“Why not? Where are they?”

“Connie took them to the mall. I have a showing.”

“A showing?”

“Yes, Becca.” He sounded tired. “I still have to work, you know?”

I ignored the implication. “I’ll call later then,” I said. I leaned back against the car door and kicked at the gravel with my toe.

“No,” Jon said. “Let’s talk now. Besides, they might not be home till late.”

“Where would they be?”

“I can’t do this by myself, and it’s not fair to have Jordan babysitting all the time. She’s going out with friends and Kayla’s going over to Denise’s.”

“Denise?”
 

Anyone but my meddlesome neighbor. I could just hear her telling the ladies on the playground all about how I’d taken off, abandoning my family, and she had to step in to save the day.

“I told you, Becca. I can’t do it alone. I need a break to get some work done.”

“A break?” I mumbled under my breath. “Like I ever got a break.”

“What did you say?”

“Nothing.” I looked up as Jason’s truck drove by. It slowed as it passed the store, and me, before speeding away again. My stomach flipped. A jolt of disappointment, and maybe something else, sparked through me as the truck passed. “Who is Jordan going out with? It better not be that boy,” I said. “He’s too old for her, Jon. You need to put a stop to it before it gets carried away, she’s too young—”

“Then come home and do it, Becca.”

Anger flared in me. “You need me to come home to handle our children? It wouldn’t kill you to step up here, Jon.”

“Dammit, Becca,” he yelled, and I almost dropped the phone. Jon rarely raised his voice. “I am stepping up. And you’d be able to see that if you came home. You can’t just run away from your family and your whole life. You’re a grown up, for God’s sake—act like it.”

“Pardon me?” I whispered. Rage boiled under the surface, but there was more than that. Jon never yelled at me. I needed him to support this, support me. Not get angry.

“I’m done, Becca.”

The words felt like a slap. I drew in a sharp breath. “What exactly do you mean?”

Jon let out a sigh and when he spoke again he sounded tired. “I just don’t—”

“No.” My legs wobbled and I braced myself against the car, afraid they wouldn’t hold me up for very long. I couldn’t hear what he had to say. I couldn’t listen to him tell me that our marriage was over. Not yet.
 

My stomach rolled and I swallowed hard, afraid I was going to be sick.
 

“We need to talk about this,” he said. For a minute I thought he might cry. I would not be able to deal with that.
 

I rubbed my hand across my face and willed the feeling to return to my legs. “I can’t,” I managed to get out; my voice sounded tiny and far away. “There’s nothing…I have to go.”

“Becca, please,” I heard him whisper before I pulled the phone away from my ear.
 

I closed my eyes and tried to focus on my breathing, on the fresh mountain air filling my lungs.
 

Was that it, then? My marriage was over? Just like that. My knees gave way and I sank to the gravel. The sharp edges bit into my skin through the thin fabric of my skirt, but I welcomed the pain. Anything but the emptiness inside.
 

Images spiraled through my head.
 

Jon. Kayla. Jordan. Jon and I, together.

Jason.

My thoughts landed on Jason, desperate for an island in the storm of chaos. I focused on the way his lips felt against mine. The way he tasted. The way his hands pressed against my back. The way my body responded, wanting more. The unfamiliar, yet inexplicably welcome, feelings he’d stirred inside me.
 

I closed my mind to everything else, forcing myself to focus completely on Jason. His fresh, piney scent. His hands. His lips.

Slowly, I opened my eyes and got to my feet. I straightened my skirt and brushed off the dust. Taking one more deep breath, and with my heart still racing in my chest, I crossed the parking lot to the store.
 

I opened the door with more force than I’d intended and the screen crashed against the wall, sending the delicate bells that hung from the top tumbling to the floor.
 

Sheena popped her head around a display of hand-woven baskets. “Holy Mother of Earth, Sunshine. You scared me.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to.” I bent to retrieve the bells. I handed them to her, feeling like a chastened child. “Sorry,” I said again.
 

“It’s nothing,” Sheena said. “You just startled me is all. I’m an old lady, don’t forget.” She smiled for a moment before her brows knitted into a frown. “You’re upset,” she said. “Your energy is misaligned. What’s wrong?”

Everything.
 

I almost spoke out loud, but I was pretty sure Sheena didn’t want to hear about all my problems, never mind the fact that I was having inappropriate thoughts about Jason. Besides, she’d probably claim to see into my soul and I already felt weird enough with her.
 

“I’m fine,” I said after a moment. “I did want to apologize to you, though. I shouldn’t have been so rude to you the other day. You were only trying to help with the key, and well… everything else. And, well, I’m sorry.”

Sheena’s face flashed and finally settled into a small smile. “Don’t give it another thought.” She dismissed my apology with a wave of her hand. “Sometimes we need to refocus our internal chi. And if I was the person to help you do that, then I’m honored.”

“Still,” I said. “Chi or not, I wasn’t very nice. You’ve been very kind to me and it wasn’t fair.”

“Enough.” Sheena waved her hand again. “Now, if you don’t want to talk about what’s got your aura so out of whack, that’s fine. But I’m willing to bet a cup of tea would help.”

It wasn’t a suggestion; it was more of a command. Going back to the cabin to be alone to replay my conversation with Jon over again in my head was the last thing I wanted. Tea sounded great.
 

I followed Sheena through the store and into the back, beyond the beaded curtain. The cramped storage area looked a lot like the store. Boxes were stacked at random and most looked like they might topple over with even the slightest touch. Cartons lay open, their contents spilling out the top and onto the floor. There were all kinds of goods piled around the room, creating an obstacle course that we picked our way through.
 

“I’m trying to clean all this up,” Sheena said as we stepped over a box of books. “There just never seems to be enough time, now that Jason’s back at school. He’s a good boy, just not around as much as I’d like anymore.”

“School?”

“Oh, I shouldn’t have said anything. He doesn’t like people to know.” Sheena stopped and turned to face me. “I don’t know why. I’m sure proud of him, but he must have his reasons for keeping it quiet. And who am I to mess with his cosmic energy? Anyway, I suppose all of this can wait. It’s just me here most of the time and the mess doesn’t bother me.” Her laugh filled the room. I tried to smile along with her, but my attempt was weak. She turned, and continued weaving her way through the space.
 

We dodged around a pail of fresh-cut flowers before Sheena pushed aside another curtain and led us into a small bright kitchen. I expected to find a room similar to that of my cottage, decorated in scarves and smelling like incense, but her kitchen was the direct opposite.
 

It was tiled in crisp white and blue squares. The counter gleamed and held only a few jars filled with flour, sugar, and coffee. Instead of incense, it smelled of lemons, fresh and clean. The scent was oddly comforting and when I sank into a chair at the table, I felt instantly at home.

“I’ll make you some tea, Sunshine. A good cup of herbal tea always helps to clear the spirit. It will help you refocus your energy.”

I nodded and watched Sheena. She placed the kettle on the stove before moving to the counter where she packed what looked like a mixture of dried leaves, berries and flowers, into little mesh spoons that she placed in each cup.

“Thank you,” I said.

She turned, a mug in her hand. “It’s no trouble, Sunshine. No trouble at all.”

“No.” I shook my head. “For everything. Thank you. You don’t even know me and you’ve gone out of your way to help me, and… well, you’ve been very helpful.”

“Oh, I know you,” Sheena said, and turned around again.

“Pardon?” I asked, not sure if I heard her right.

“Of course I know you. You’re Vicki’s daughter.”

I wished I could see her face. “You keep saying that, but you’ve never met me and I don’t even remember her.”

“You don’t?” Sheena left the mugs on the counter and moved to sit across from me at the table. Her mouth turned down in a tight frown. “You don’t remember your mother at all?”

“Connie is my mother,” I said. “I’m sure Vicki was great, but I was practically a baby when she died, and Dad and Dylan never liked to talk about her. So, no, I don’t know anything about her.”

“It’s a shame.” Sheena cast her eyes down. “She was a magical lady.”
 

For a moment we were both silent. I didn’t think I should say anything; it seemed indecent, like Sheena was mourning her. Instead I sat and waited.
 

“Well, none of that matters,” she said after a minute, and reached for my hand. Her strong fingers wrapped around mine and squeezed. “The second I laid eyes on you, I knew you. You’re a lot like your mother, you know? In here.” Sheena gently pushed my hand back until it rested on my chest, directly over my heart.
 

“But I haven’t even told you anything about me.”

“You don’t have to tell me your life for me to see the pain. It’s in here.” She patted my chest again before slowly releasing my hand.

“How can you see that?”

“Sunshine, I can see your aura as clearly as I can see the sun in the sky.” She smiled.
 

“Tell me,” I whispered. “Tell me what you see.” I surprised myself by caring what she said. And by believing that she could see anything at all. I didn’t normally believe in that type of thing. But for some reason I trusted Sheena, and the desire to know something, anything at all, was too strong to ignore.
 

Sheena’s smile was soft. “You’re surrounded by greens and grays.” She nodded slowly. “But there are reds in there, too. And even a little pink.” She winked.

“What does that mean? What do the colors tell you?”

“Every shade means something different. But you have a strong ring of blue-green that tells me you’re going through an emotionally turbulent time. The dark green tells me you have a mental stress of some kind. But I didn’t need an aura to tell me that.” She raised an eyebrow. “The grays are worrisome, though.” Her face grew serious again. “The light gray indicates that you feel trapped in your life and the charcoal tells me you suffer deeply from depression or a deep sadness. That’s the trouble, Sunshine. The darker gray is strong. It bleeds through all the other colors in your aura.”

Depression? That was ridiculous. I couldn’t be depressed. Crazy people were depressed.

“What about the other colors?” I didn’t want to hear about the gray. “You said there was red and pink.”

“Yes,” she said. “Just like your mother. You have a ring of crimson.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means you’ve been blessed with creative talents. You’ve had a chance to look through the items in the trunk, I assume.”

I nodded. “I think my creative talent has long since gone,” I said. I thought back to my drawings earlier. They were okay, but so far from what I used to produce. I remembered the way Jason had examined the picture. The way my fingers felt when he touched mine. My lips tingled with the memory.
 

“Ah, that’s the pink I see,” Sheena said, her smile grew wide.

“What are you talking about?” I could feel a blush beginning its burn across my cheeks.

“The pink in your aura. It’s the color of sexual attraction. Desire.”

“That’s silly,” I said. I ran my hands through my hair, trying to distract my own thoughts. “I haven’t seen my husband in days and even if I did, I wouldn’t say that what I feel for him right now is really attraction.”

“Perhaps it’s not your husband, then.”

I looked toward the window. Sheena had to know that Jason had been at the cabin over the last few days. She would know it was Jason making my aura pink.