The Beast of Beauty (2 page)

He looked at me like I had a
disease that he didn’t want to catch. He had a beautiful face, with his dark
complexion, dark-brown hair, and green eyes, but all of the beauty in the world
couldn’t hide the fact that he really didn’t want to be walking toward me. I
didn’t exactly want to be his partner either, but I was hoping that my facial
expression said less about how much I hated this than his did.

“Hi,” he said awkwardly.

“Hey,” I muttered back.

Mrs. Farmington went over the
guidelines for the project that we would be doing. I tried to listen, but my
heart was beating too loudly in my ears. Her voice stopped, and the whole class
erupted in chatter, except our group.

“What’s your favorite Shakespeare
book?” Daniel asked.

“Why do you care?” I snapped.

One of his eyebrows shot up,
“Because that’s our assignment: to write an essay together over a book by
William Shakespeare.”

My face flushed; I really hadn’t
heard anything that Mrs. Farmington had said.

“Sorry… umm, I don’t know. Which
ones have you read?”

“None of them,” he admitted, “But
I bet you like
Romeo and Juliet
though. That’s a chick thing.”

I scoffed, “Yes, I like it. Not
because of the romance, though.”

“Well what else is in it?”

“Tragedy.”

“Why on earth would you like
tragedy?” he asked.

“Because I understand it,” I
answered.

We were both quiet for what
seemed like forever, avoiding each other’s eyes.

“How about we write about
something else, then?” he asked softly.

“Is
The Twelfth Night
okay?”

“I guess,” he said. “What is it
about?”

“It’s sort of like the movie
She’s
the Man
,” I explained, “about a girl who disguises herself as a boy.”

He groaned, “Ugh, is that that
stupid Amanda Bynes movie you made me watch?”

I could tell that he regretted it
as soon as he said it. I simply nodded my head. It had been so long ago that I
had forgotten about that. I wished that I hadn’t brought it up either.

“That one’s fine,” he said
slowly, “I’ll go check us each out a copy from the library.”

He left the room like there was a
fire.

“Enjoying the attention?” Zoey asked
as she took his place in the seat in front of me.

“What do you mean?”

She giggled, “You know, someone
talking to you that is actually important at this school. Like Daniel. He just
made the A-team this morning.

Jasper overheard and laughed, “No
sweetie, he didn’t.”

“Yes he did!” she screamed at him.
“You should know!”

“I do know, I was there,” he
explained. “And he didn’t make it. Can’t you tell by the look on the poor kid’s
face? He wasn’t good enough. I think the coach feels sorry for him or he would just
kick him off of the team altogether.”

Zoey looked hurt, “He didn’t tell
me, though. He would’ve told me if he hadn’t made the team.”

“He was probably too
embarrassed,” Jasper said, “Who could blame him?”

Just then, Daniel came back in
the room holding our books.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Zoey
asked quietly.

His eyes widened, “Tell you
what?”

She sat silently for two seconds,
her face flushing, “TELL ME THAT YOU DIDN’T MAKE THE TEAM?!”

“I did make the team,” he
explained, “just not the A-team.”

“Just not the team that actually
gets to play,” Jasper elaborated. His comment was met by snickers from the
other guys who I suppose did make the A-team.

Daniel shot him a look and
continued, “Zoey, I wanted to talk to you about it later, not in front of the
whole class like this.”

“Well, too bad!” she said. “I
can’t believe you lied to me! You are such a liar!”

“I didn’t lie to you!” he said,
his voice rising.

“Yes you did!” she yelled. “You
told me that you would make the team, and you didn’t! That’s lying!”

“QUIET!” Mrs. Farmington yelled.
“Get back in your groups and keep planning. Save all of your drama for after
school.”

Daniel sat back in front of me
and tossed my book on my table. He sat his left arm on my desk, and I reached
out to touch it, to comfort him, and changed my mind halfway through the act
and pulled my hand back as fast as I could. He saw me, and looked up to meet my
eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“For what?” he asked, attitude
dripping off his voice.

“That you didn’t make the team,”
I said, still keeping my voice at a whisper.

His expression changed, and for
the first time in a long time, he looked at me like I was a real person,
“Thanks.”

I nodded and put my book in my
bag.

“Sorry you got stuck with
Adeline,” Jasper said. “You just haven’t had the best luck today, man.”           

“What do you want, Jasper?” I
asked, annoyed.

“Just to offer my condolences,”
he explained. “Adeline, I bet this is the best day of your life, though.”

She just lowered her head and
refused to look at him. Sometimes I admired the way that she didn’t say
anything when people made fun of her, but sometimes I wished that she would
grow a backbone and say something about it.

“Don’t go feeling sorry for her,
Daniel,” Jasper said, “it’ll just be a waste of your time.”

“You got that right,” I said,
without really thinking about it.

Her face snapped up to look at
me, and I felt like the biggest jerk in the world. She looked so broken, and
there was nothing I could do to make it better, so instead, I made it worse.

“You’re right, Jasper. My luck
just keeps on getting worse.”

She stood from her chair and
burst out of the classroom. I felt bad for attacking her alongside Jasper, but
then he slapped me on the back.

“Good job,” he said, “now if we
could only get her to leave the school completely. I’m tired of looking at her
all of the time.”

I chuckled, but I wasn’t amused.
I didn’t like the way that Jasper said that about her, but I couldn’t help but
agree. I couldn’t stand looking at her either.

I looked over at Zoey and
Brandon. She was laughing a little too loudly and touching his arm when she
spoke. She glanced in my direction, made it a point to give me a terrible look,
and then went back to whatever hilarious thing that Brandon had just said.

I wished that she would be there
for me. I didn’t want or need someone to coddle me, but I did need someone to
tell me that I wasn’t the biggest failure in the entire universe. I needed
someone to tell me that I was good enough for them, even if I wasn’t good
enough for anyone else. On the contrary, I feared that I wasn’t good enough for
Zoey BECAUSE I wasn’t good enough for everyone else.

Adeline had at least told me she
was sorry, and then I ruined her day in return. I was such a monster.

The secretary’s voice rang out
over the intercom:

“The starting line-up for our
basketball teams this year has been announced!”

I sank in my seat. She announced
the girls that would be playing this year, and they all jumped up and
high-fived each other while the rest of the class cheered. When she announced
the boys, they all head-nodded toward each other while staying calmly in their
seats, like it almost bored them to be recognized.

I looked up at Jasper and saw him
smirking at me. His face said, “Ha! Look! I’m getting applauded by the whole
class while you will go on to be forgotten. Look at Zoey over there, she’s
clapping too. When’s the last time she cheered for you?”

He didn’t say any of those
things, but I doubt he would’ve hesitated to if he had the time. As it was, he
was too busy being congratulated. The other four boys that would be starting
gathered around him. This would be his group of friends for the remainder of
the year. He would dominate them on and off of the court, and they would
worship him for it. It made me sick, and yet, it made me jealous.

Deep in my heart, I wished that I
could be Jasper. I wished that I could have a group of people who followed my
every lead, but I knew that that was a long shot. My real life goal, the one
that was shattered today, was to simply be one of those guys—the followers. It
was sick, twisted, and pathetic, but I wouldn’t have minded to be one of his
clones as long as it got me recognized.

I sat in heaven as everyone in
the class cheered for me. I was used to it, but it still made me proud of
myself. I was the point guard. I would lead our team to victory. I was the man.

I had everything that I wanted—besides
Zoey.

Zoey was the most popular girl in
school.  Every guy wanted to be with her, even if they didn’t know why, and I
could feel myself getting sucked into it as well. But unlike my inferior peers,
I knew exactly why I wanted her; I wanted her because she was Daniel’s.

I knew that it would be frowned
upon, but I didn’t care. She was amazing, and her being with Daniel made her
even more so. I had to prove that I wasn’t just better than him in basketball,
but in everything else. Why? It’s because we were rivals.

Daniel and I competed in
everything we did, and we always had. The only thing that really changed is
that I started winning, and I couldn’t give him any chance to catch up to me.
He lost the ability to be better than me in the eyes of our peers when he
started dating that recluse junior year. I was going to make him regret that
decision until we graduated. I wanted him to feel all of the embarrassment that
I felt coming in second to him for so many years.

***

The rest of the day passed in a
blur. Each break between the classes I high-fived people that I didn’t even
know because I made the team. They all looked at me in awe, like they couldn’t
even imagine what it would be like to be me.

It was a great celebration for me
and my boys, but Daniel looked nauseous the entire time. It made me smile even
more. I actually thought that he would make the team this time; he really did
try hard and improve. I was kind of bummed that I was going to have to share
this moment in the spotlight with him, but now that he didn’t make the team, I
soaked it up all by myself. The other four guys were there, of course, but they
looked at me with the same expression that the loser students did. The boys
might have ranked above the common people, but I was still at the very top.

“Listen up!” Mrs.
Whatever-her-name-is said, “This is study hall, and you aren’t all going to sit
in here and do nothing until school gets out.”

Everyone was silent, but no one
started working on anything.

“Well?” She continued, “Do you
have anything to work on from another class?”

“Yes, Mrs. White,” a know-it-all
girl replied, “we have a report that we are doing for English class.”

I groaned, and the rest of the
class followed my example.

“Fine, go to the library to do
some research, then. I have some stuff to clean up in here; if there are any
problems, just come get me,” Mrs.
White
said.

“Why’d you have to open your
mouth?” I asked the girl, hoping to scare her out of ever doing it again.

She stuck her nose up in the air
at me, “I was just doing what’s right! She asked a question, and I told the
truth. What’s the big deal? You’d have to eventually do the report either way.”

“Whatever. You already have an A,
there’s no need to suck up!” I retaliated. I didn’t like that she talked back
to me like she didn’t even care who I was.

“Enough!” Mrs. White yelled. “Go
to the library and do your best to act like adults!”

My team and I walked in the
library and sat at a table together.

“What defense are we going to use
in the opening game next week?” Zeke asked, excited.

I pondered, “Probably a box and
one. They only have one really good scorer, number 32, so I’ll guard him while
the rest of your guys guard in a four-man zone.”

“Makes sense,” Elliot said.
“Hopefully after you shut that guy down the other players won’t know how to
operate without him and they won’t do any scoring either.”

“Yeah, it’ll be hard for their
coach to run plays with a defense like ours attacking their best guy,” I
agreed.

“Hey look, guys, its Adeline,”
Zeke said. “Wonder if she’s gotten over her issues with Daniel in English
today?”

“Guess not,” I said. “She’s
reading the book they picked together.”

The guys chuckled, “She’s
actually not even reading the book!” James pointed out, “She’s just staring at
it, probably daydreaming.”

I did enjoy my interactions with
Adeline. She may be the weirdest girl I have ever seen and definitely not the
prettiest, but there was something about her that made me feel better about
myself. She just had one of those defeatist attitudes that made me feel like I
was better than her, and when I exercised that betterment, it reminded others
that I’m better than them as well.

I wasn’t going to let an
opportunity to put people in their place go to waste.