“
Harry have
you not noticed how men react around you?”
“
I can never
tell whether it’s the wheelchair, you know a kind of sympathy
thing.”
“
It’s not
sympathy Harry, you’re confident, you know your own mind, you’re a
kind happy person, and if you don’t recognise that the face you
look at every morning is beautiful face, then you’re
silly.”
“
But people
stare at me all the time, and they’re not looking at my
face.”
“
I know
honey, and I know that Chris hasn’t always been very helpful, but
he’s had to make peace with a man who doesn’t like him and he’s
going to drive all the way up here just in case you’re still
talking to him, so I’m pretty sure that he’s not feeling sorry for
you.”
Julia paused, then added
thoughtfully “Harry how do you think I feel when I look in the
mirror?”
“
Depends how
many shades of green you've put together.”
“
Green is
very slimming, anyway don't distract me, I’m making a serious
point. Most women feel insecure about some aspect of their bodies.
Now I know your legs are more complicated than that, but you're so
good at being a normal girl. Don't stop now.”
“
Sex makes
everything confusing.”
“
Honey you've
never said a truer thing.”
“
I’ll kill
him if he gets it wrong again.”
“
Oh don’t
worry,” Julia said peacefully, “there’ll be a queue.”
The days melted into one
another, lazy vegetarian breakfasts, lunches in the big communal
kitchen, and impromptu dinners with staff who tended the gardens.
Harry worked on a song that she was writing, in spite of her best
efforts it kept reminding her of Chris. She travelled round the
accessible parts of the garden, and wondered what the view would be
like from the steep path beside the greenhouses. She realised that
she was missing him, he had crashed into her life and demanded her
attention, but he didn’t treat her like a fragile doll. He’d hurt
her badly, but he’d also allowed her to taste an excitement that
she had only glimpsed before.
She had fled from the
wealthy young men that her mother had introduced her to, she
remembered the way they had spoken to her, never looking at her
face. Visibly valuing the antiques and the paintings that she
loved, losing interest before she had even finished her first
sentence when she spoke about the career that she was proud of. The
thought of a life on crutches, standing uncomfortably in a series
of drawing rooms, producing heirs, if she could produce heirs,
filled her with a sense of suffocation.
Libby loved ceremonies,
and formal clothes and could recite the complex genealogy of the
neighbouring nobility. Harry like wearing jeans and trainers and
having impromptu barbecues, she knew that if her life had worked
out differently she would spend her weekends camped under the stars
and creating gardens.
Chris collected Mike
exactly on time on Friday, he was amused to see that he lived in a
rather elegant penthouse conversion in a former school house. “Now
remember,” Mike told him, “tread carefully and be really gentle,
she won’t always need you to be so careful, but the accident
knocked her confidence.” The old hotel rose majestically from its
perch on top of a rugged outcrop of granite and trees, they parked
beside a collection of battered looking cars and Mike led the way
to high arches of the entrance hall.
The jarring sound of a
saxophone played by someone with more optimism than talent caused
them both to jump slightly. Chris felt the tension settle in his
stomach again, then he followed Mike into the lounge and saw the
woman who had haunted his thoughts and his dreams. His first
thought was that she always looked better than he remembered. She
was wearing her favourite shade of pale jeans, and a dark polo
neck, her elegant glasses highlighted the bones of her face, and
when she smiled at him he wanted to jump up and down and whoop with
joy.
He realised that Julia
was talking to him, “We’re going to unpack,” she said with a
lascivious grin, and he nodded absently at her and loomed over
Harry for a moment, before the careful last minute instructions
sank in, and he sat down opposite her and opened his mouth to start
the speech he had rehearsed.
“
Thank you
for coming Chris.”
He closed his mouth and
smiled at her feeling the adrenaline surging through his veins, and
then he took a breath and listened to his own words pouring out
before he had a chance to think, “I missed you Harry, and I’m
sorry, I was out of order. I just felt cross with myself for not
thinking of coffee, I know how much you like coffee.”
“
It’s okay, I
know you were up all night. Why didn’t you tell me it was your
birthday?”
“
Nobody ever
remembers my birthday, sorry did that sound forlorn?”
“
Not forlorn
Chris.” She paused, then added with a smile, “I know this is a
completely random question, but how often do you go down to that
cave? I was wondering about the torch.”
“
Quite a
lot,” he admitted, “can I take you back?”
“
I’d like
that.”
“
How is you
hand?”
“
Back to
normal really, I can use my fountain pen again.”
“
I’m glad,”
he said tenderly, he wanted to ask about her hip, but Mike’s
instructions had been detailed, and he knew he needed to go
slow.
A man from the gardens
interrupted their conversation, he showed them his latest crop of
garlic, and he watched her smile and watched the man try to make
her smile again.
“
Shall we go
for a walk?” she asked, when he disappeared into the kitchen, and
they were briefly gloriously alone again. She showed him round the
paths and pointed out the flowers and the trees and views that made
her happy. Then she stopped at the foot of the steep path to the
greenhouses and pointed out all the things she could
see.
“
Shall we sit
up there?”
“
Thank you,”
she said simply, and he effortlessly navigated the stone steps. The
view was better than she imagined, and she savoured the feel of the
rough cold metal. She smiled up at him when he sat down beside her
and she squeezed her hand, feeling free from her safe sanitized
trappings with a man who thus far had been deliciously
unpredictable and treated her like an equal, even if that had been
bruising on occasion.
“
How’s the
hospital?”
“
The usual,
the charge nurse in accident and emergency put in a formal
complaint about Belinda, she has accused him of bullying, one of
the paediatricians punched a security guard who wouldn’t let him
park in a disabled bay when he was running late to an emergency.
It’s all the things I dreamt about at University.”
“
What did you
dream about when you were a medical student?”
He took her hand and told
her about the first time he had visited the hospital with his
father. He had been a porter in the same surgical wing for many
years, and the consultant had taken the time to show his son the
operating theatres and the long Victorian wards. He had learned
about the decisions, the detective work and the intense charged
camaraderie. As a boy who had been an outsider in almost setting,
he saw a chance to belong and to pit his brains and his body
against the ultimate enemy.
It took him a moment to
notice the policeman climbing towards them. He had swapped his suit
for a pair of pristine denims, and he sat down on the edge of the
table and made sure he was at eye level with Harry. He asked her
how she was, and exchanged pleasantries for just the right amount
of time, then he gently explained that Lord Darley’s barracuda of a
lawyer was likely to force through his application for
bail.
Chris felt the tension in
her delicate torso, and he moved closer to her. “Thank you for
telling me in person.” She smiled her thanks at PC Andrews, and he
smiled back at her.
“
I was going
to offer my services as a bodyguard for the weekend, but it looks
as though you’re doing just fine.”
“
I’m not
going anywhere.” Chris said pleasantly.
“
I can
understand that.” The policeman rose to his feet and retraced his
steps back to his sleek sports car. Chris opened his mouth, then
closed it again and thought hard. Julia and Mike appeared in view
and scrambled breathlessly up the muddy track.
“
Did he see
you too?” Harry asked her.
“
All of me,”
Julia said unhappily.
“
Tricky
situation for everyone I imagine.” Harry told her, and couldn’t
help sparing a moment of sympathy for the elegant
policeman.
“
Anyway,
Harry what did he want?”
“
Lord Darley
might get released on bail.”
“
That’s
horrible,” she stepped closer to her friend and touched her face,
“we’ll protect you.” Mike nodded emphatically, he would have liked
to touch her too, but he had no intention of being thrown out of
Julia’s inventive arms.
They made food in the
communal kitchen, and drank wine out of mismatched glasses.
Afterwards they went back to the suite of rooms and Julia launched
into an awkward monologue about not minding at all where they all
slept.
“
Julia honey
close the door and we’ll see you at breakfast.” Harry closed the
door that the divided the suite of rooms in two, and smiled
slightly nervously at the big handsome surgeon. He sat down on the
bed and looked at her. Mike had told him to put himself in her
shoes, and when he looked into her big dark eyes he found to his
relief that it was easy.
“
I’d like to
be very close to you,” he said protectively, “do you mind if I make
up a bed for myself on the floor in here?”
“
That would
be lovely, thank you so much.”
She disappeared into the
bathroom and tried to gather her thoughts, despite her intense
attraction for him, she still felt far too raw to rekindle anything
physical. All the same she felt slightly disconcerted that he
hadn’t fought harder to climb into her bed. Perhaps this was some
honourable surgeon outreach thing, she wondered what he would do if
she tried to kiss him goodnight, then she remembered the
humiliation of her last attempt, and she pulled on her pyjamas and
brushed her teeth.
Chris was pouring out a
particularly nice liqueur when she emerged, and he stopped and
smiled at her. “You look amazing in pyjamas, especially stripy
ones.”
“
I’m glad to
hear that, I do have rather a fondness for pyjamas.”
She transferred into bed
and he sat down beside her and handed her a glass. “This is my
favourite drink; I found it in Spain when Jeff and I were still
students.” He edged closer to her, intoxicated by the suggestion of
her curves beneath her top and the memory of her delicious nipples.
It was an effort of will not to kiss her and gently peel off her
clothes, reluctantly he climbed to his feet and stretched out on
his makeshift bed.
“
Goodnight
Chris,” Harry said softly, wondering why on earth a tired surgeon
would drive all the way up the lakes on a Friday night, battle off
the opposition with a sexy ease, then lie down so comfortably on
the floor. She would have given the matter more thought, but she
was still so tired and she closed her eyes and savoured the sound
of his breathing.
He woke her up with
coffee in the morning, he was wearing battered jeans and yet
another rugby top. She pulled herself into a sitting position and
found herself at eye level with his zipper. It was very distracting
indeed and she tried to look grateful when he smiled down at her
with his blue eyes full of concern and protectiveness.
She introduced him to the
delights of the vegetarian buffet, and he ordered scrambled eggs
and ate an astonishing amount of cereal. He had been hoping to
spend a quiet morning with her, thinking that they could engineer a
slice of privacy beside the nearby lake, but Julia introduced the
choice of outings with a firmness that squashed any protests. After
a lengthy dialogue and a lot of coffee they chose the standing
stones and Chris took his place in the back of the car and felt
like a schoolboy when he touched his leg against hers.
He started to realise the
practicalities of her existence, the careful way Julia found a
parking space on dry ground, and the subtle and sometimes obvious
curiosity of the people around them. They stopped for lunch in a
small village by the side of Lake Windermere, it took several
streets to find a restaurant that Harry could access. Chris
realised that the choice of food was secondary, and watched her
becoming quieter until a pretty French restaurant presented itself
and Harry followed her friends into the cosy interior with her dark
eyes unreadable. Mike moved a chair away and she smiled her thanks,
Chris pulled his chair as close to her as he could, and fought the
urge to hit the waiter when he spoke loudly and clearly to
her.
A woman at the next table
asked if she was okay, Harry thanked her with a graciousness that
Chris didn’t think she deserved, and watched in mild disbelief as
the woman kept talking and kept asking questions until Harry
described the bicycle accident and smiled into the woman’s
sympathy. Julia rescued her in response to a cue that he almost
didn’t recognise and Mike spoke rather determinedly about the
history of the village.