Julia was back on the
sofa before she finished buttoning her shirt. “Don’t tell me you
froze him out again.” She said accusingly, if he spends any more
time jogging then he’s going to go up in flames.
“
No there’s
bad stuff happening in the city centre, they’ve called back all the
essential medical staff.”
Julia pulled her phone
out of her pocket and checked her reception. “They haven’t called
me.” She said rather forlornly. Harry looked at her, she wondered
what exactly Julia would bring to the chaos of the busy accident
and emergency.
“
I’m sure
they’ll want you to work late tomorrow.” She said finally, and
wondered how long she should wait before she threw her best friend
out and savoured every moment of Chris’ visit.
Chapter
eight
She was still thinking
about him when she woke up, she felt as though every nerve ending
was on fire, and when Julia came to collect her, she asked her if
she wanted to go swimming the next morning. “You might be doing
more interesting things with your Saturday morning.”
“
I doubt it,
he’ll probably be exhausted.”
“
He looks to
me like a man with stamina.” Julia told her, and she decided to
change the subject before she embarrassed herself.
By lunchtime her euphoria
was fading, she thought about paging him, but realised how much it
would hurt if he didn’t welcome her advances. So she focussed on
the blood results, taking comfort in the ebb and flow of the
equations and the data. Mr Patel rang the buzzer in the late
afternoon, and asked to speak to Harry. Mike let him in,
acquiescing instantly to his calm authority, and the elegant
surgeon stopped by her desk and smiled at Belinda when she erupted
out of her office, determined to take part in any conversation
about the training DVD. “Do you mind if we talk in private?” he
asked, and Belinda led the way into her stuffy cubicle and shut the
door.
He had hoped to talk to
Harry alone, but he realised how jealously Belinda guarded her
little piece of power, and he knew he needed her alliance. He took
a deep breath and committed himself to his unusual course of
action. “Chris has been working without stopping since he came in
last night, he did this in the last emergency, but he’s older now,
and even he has his limits. I can get the juniors to keep things
ticking over for a while and I need him back in one piece tomorrow
morning.” Harry nodded at him, unsure what to say. “If I send him
home will you look after him?”
Harry looked at Belinda
and the older woman smiled at her, “Of course you can leave early,
I owe you so much overtime, you could probably take a whole month
off. All the same,” she added after a pause, “I’m really grateful
to you for agreeing to come back in tomorrow.”
Harry smiled at them both
and tried to ignore the apprehension building in her stomach, she
wasn’t sure that she would cope very well as a distraction and a
consolation for a distressed hero. “Then he’s a very lucky man.” Mr
Patel said with feeling, and rose to his feet. Belinda stood up too
and he smiled at her, “Please don’t worry, I know how busy you are,
and I can find my own way out.”
Belinda sat back down and
watching his departing figure, “Is it true that he’s single?” she
asked finally. Harry looked at her for a moment, trying to focus on
what she had heard.
“
I think so.”
She said unconvincingly, and put her hand on the wheels of her
chair.
“
Are you
okay?” Belinda asked awkwardly, “You don’t look very excited about
taking him home to bed.”
Harry took a deep breath
and looked at her. “I’m just not sure how exciting it would be, for
him I mean.” Belinda looked at her, she tried desperately to
remember what she had learned on the Equality and Diversity Course,
but nothing in the slides about disability seemed relevant. Then
Harry treated to her to one of her lovely smiles and said robustly,
“Thanks anyway, I’m sure I’ll figure it out.” Belinda smiled back,
and watched her take her place at her workstation. She couldn’t
help thinking that she had failed her, and she watched Mike pour
her a cup of coffee and wondered how she could make
amends.
Chris arrived before she
had a chance to try. Belinda watched Rafiq smile apologetically at
his colleague, and the look of misery in Mike’s eyes. “Do you want
a lift home?” Chris asked Harry.
“
Thank you.”
She said unsteadily, and followed him out into the corridor. She
transferred into the car under his protective gaze and hoped that
her nerves weren’t too apparent. He drove out of the car park in
silence, and she admired the harsh planes of his handsome profile
and wondered what brave surgeons liked to talk about when they were
clearly very upset.
“
One of the
policemen lost his arm.” He said finally, “I worked for hours, I
thought I had the blood flow working again, then things broke
down.” He took a deep breath and braked suddenly at a red light.
“He’s twenty eight, and now he’s stuck behind a desk.” There was
silence and then he said awkwardly, “I’m sorry, was that
insensitive? I wasn’t thinking about your chair.”
“
Chris I want
you to talk to me. I hate it when I feel that people are modifying
their stories because of my legs, to be honest that makes me feel
more disabled than anything else. What happened to him is
awful.”
“
Thank you.”
He smiled at her for the first time, and she felt some of her
apprehension fading. “Do you mind if we take a quick
detour?”
“
Of course
not.” He cut down a side road and she noticed with a tiny flash of
disloyal amusement that he sliced in and out of the traffic in a
way that Julia had never mastered. They stopped in a decaying car
park and he pulled in next to the remains of a
warehouse.
“
Harry can I
carry you somewhere? I’ll look after you.”
“
Okay then,”
she said her dark eyes holding his. He lifted her out of the car,
and even through his tiredness and grief, he felt a tingle at her
delicate warmth. He ducked into the dark space between the walls
and the alleys and took the staircase hidden in the shadows. The
air grew damp and the graffiti faded away. He stopped by a hole in
the wall and smiled at her.
“
If you reach
in then you’ll find a torch.” She followed his instructions and he
reflected for a moment on her spirit. He wasn’t sure how many women
would do the same if faced with such a dark uninviting crack. She
switched on the heavy metal device and his feet followed the light
into the room beyond the room where the walls and the ceiling were
lined with bricks. Carefully he helped her find her balance on the
heavy metal bench and he stood in the shadows, his face a sensual
blend of lines and stubble.
“
My dad
showed me this place, he used to get a bit of extra work as a taxi
driver, and this was where they used to let off steam.”
“
It’s
completely quiet down there, it’s like the city doesn’t
exist.”
“
It’s my
sanctuary, and when I turned eighteen and I had to leave the
children’s home, I lived here until I could afford to rent
somewhere. Even when I had a bed I’d still come here sometimes, it
feels like the only link to him I have.” She nodded, wishing that
he wasn’t standing so far away, the quiet lonely man she couldn’t
stop thinking about.
“Can I make you my
favourite meal?” he asked suddenly, “It’s very simple, we can pick
up the stuff on the way home.”
“
Thank you
that would be lovely.” He carried her back into the noise and the
jostle and drove to her house with an absent minded ease that might
have reassured her about his intentions were he not so quiet. He
climbed out and led the way into the little supermarket, ducking
his head slightly to avoid a low hanging sign advertising the fact
that they were in a co-operative that cared about the local
community. Harry picked up some more milk and he took it from her
as they neared the counter and she wondered if that made them a
couple. Then the spectre of the bedroom loomed up in her mind, and
she fought the urge to offer him money for her purchase.
She unlocked the door and
he smiled at her. “Do you mind if I find my way around your
kitchen?” he asked, and she nodded at him and switched on the
radio.
“
Do you need
any help?” she asked him, admiring the contours of his back as he
disappeared into the kitchen.
“
No thanks,
just find us something funny to watch.” He brought her a glass of
wine and sat down for a moment beside her. “Thank you,” he said
softly, “I know I’m not much fun when I’m like this.”
“
You’re
lovely,” she said sincerely, deeply touched by the insight into his
grief for the young man he had treated. He kissed her then, deep
and long, in the way that made her want to forget dinner and take
him to bed. Then he moved back to the kitchen, and to her surprise
the smells started to make her feel hungry.
She chose a box set and
transferred onto the sofa, he sat down beside her and handed her a
plate of food. His eyes held none of the desire that she had seen
the night before, and she felt her old anxieties return. She made
them both hot chocolate and watched him struggling to stay awake.
“Tell me what you need.” She said finally, and gesturing to her
delicate hips, she added tentatively, “I would give you anything
that you wanted.”
“
Thank you,”
he said softly. “I do want all of those things, but not right now,
not like this.” He paused and looked at her for a moment. “What I
would like to do is to sleep the night in your bed. With you in it
too if that’s okay.”
“
Of course.”
She wheeled through to the bedroom to hide her disappointment, and
found a pair of Julia’s pyjamas left from the last time her washing
machine had stopped working. He changed in the bathroom, and by the
time she was ready for bed he was already asleep, the lines of
tiredness slowly fading from his face.
She lay down beside him
and realised that she was now wide awake. It wasn’t fair, she had
locked her sexuality away, and now this big handsome man had
stirred her up and left her hungry. She closed her eyes and tried
to think of her holiday in the lake district. She realised she
hadn’t discussed it with Chris, then listened to his breathing and
decided that he probably wouldn’t care. Bizarrely she found herself
thinking about Mr Patel, she wondered if he would be disappointed
to learn of their strangely anticlimactic evening, then thought
rather bitterly that he would have been much more receptive to her
offer.
She woke up to the smell
of coffee, and sleepily wondered if her sister had stayed the
night. “Hey beautiful,” said a deep voice beside her, and she
fastened the top button of her pyjamas and pulled herself into a
sitting position. “I can’t decide,” he said with a lazy grin,
“whether you look better asleep or awake.”
“
Nobody looks
at their best until they wake up.” She told him awkwardly,
remembering the way he had fallen asleep. Right after she had
thrown herself at him.
She slid into her
wheelchair and disappeared into the bathroom. She spent a long time
in the shower, half hoping that he would leave, then she would
never have to face him again. He was making breakfast when she
emerged, concocting a delicious omelette and heating up the milk
for her coffee. “Thanks again for last night.” He said softly, “I
know I’m not easy company when I’m like that.”
“
Anytime,”
she told him, her voice sounding distinctly ungracious.
“
Do you mind
if I use your shower?” he asked, “I thought I could give you a lift
into work.”
“
Thank you
but there’s no need.” She said, still not meeting his eyes,
“Belinda is collecting me in about ten minutes time.”
“
Okay then,”
he said uncomfortably, he finished his breakfast in silence and
changed back into his rumpled clothes.
Mercifully Belinda
arrived early, and she stopped pushing her breakfast round her
plate and said brightly, “Don’t rush, the door will lock when you
close it.” He nodded unhappily and poured himself out some more
coffee. He had wanted to explain how much he needed her first time
with him to be romantic, how he would look after her and make her
forget the painful way she had been violated. He remembered waking
up to the sight of her soft curves and wondered how on earth he had
fallen asleep. He was still wondering that same thing when he
reached the hospital, and it took three cups of coffee and the buzz
of the operating theatre to shake her slightly out of the forefront
of his mind.
Mike was sitting in
silence when Harry reached the IT suite, he didn’t offer her coffee
and he didn’t buy her lunch. She sat quietly wrestling with the
blood results and feeling strangely angry with Mr Patel. This was
his fault, she decided, by trying to play the part of some elegant
cupid, he had messed up the whole pattern of their courtship. She
sustained herself with that thought until early afternoon when the
horrible memories of John slid into her head and made her feel like
crying. “I still haven’t been paged by accident and emergency.”
Julia told her, arriving unannounced in the IT suite. Harry looked
at her, and she stopped talking and picked up her friend’s bag.
“Shall we get wine?” she asked.