Sublime Wreckage (27 page)

My Grandfather had to head back early since he doesn't drive at night. I was so thankful graduation was in the afternoon so he could join us. It's getting late and most of the lanterns have gone out so we decide to head inside. Amanda and Tommy left with her parents and Joey went to Keri's house. I start helping Martina pick up but she won't have it.

"Don't even think about it Maggie. You and Vince go enjoy the rest of your night. I don't mind cleaning up. Besides, as soon as Joey gets home he's going to help me."

"I just don't feel right leaving you with this mess. You've already done so much." She walks over to me giving me a tight squeeze.

"I want you to go. There is no reason to feel bad. There isn't much left anyway." I look around the tiny house and realize she's right. Vince helped clean up some during the party which makes me feel better about abandoning her now.

"Ok. But only because you insisted. Thank you so much for everything. You made this day special for me and I don't know that I will ever be able to express how much that means to me. Vince is very lucky to have you as his mother."

"Thank you for your kind words. I'm so happy everyone had a good time, especially you." She gives me another hug before sending us on our way.

We head back to my apartment. I can't help but feel a sense of deep accomplishment. Not only did I survive the woman who was supposed to love me unconditionally, I survived high school. Now I have some decisions to make. As we walk through the door I hear Vince clear his throat from behind me.

"I have something for you. I know you don't like gifts because you don't think people should spend their money on you but get over it. Because I got you something very special and I don't want to hear any complaints. Got it?"

"That has to be the nicest way anyone has ever given me something." I say with sarcasm dripping from my tongue. Vince just gives me his serious face which makes me respond accordingly. "Ok, ok. Just give it to me. I'll be good."

Vince takes me over to the living room telling me to sit down. He holds out a small velvet box. I look into his eyes and I can see his unease. I wonder what it is. I reach out gently taking the box from his hand. I open the lid slowly. It's a beautiful heart shaped locket. I pull it out of the box and open it expecting it to be empty. But instead there is a picture of my dad on one side and a picture of my grandfather on the other. I turn it over reading the inscription on the back.
Forever and always in your heart.

"Vincent, this is stunning. It means so much that you know how important these two men are in my heart. I will wear it always and be reminded of the abundance of love in my life. Thank you." I can't help myself. I let a tiny tear fall from my face. Vincent leans over, gently rubbing his thumb across my cheek.

"Magnolia, I love you. I think I've loved you since the first time I saw you. There was just something about you. I feel drawn to you. Like we are meant to be." I take a deep breath before responding.

"Vincent, I love you too. I've wanted to say those words for months but I wanted to be sure. Now I'm more sure than ever." I lean into him, kissing his wonderful lips. It starts out soft and sweet but quickly turns to something more.

I start to feel the need building inside so I tug his hand leading him into the bedroom. We never lose our connection. Some part of our body is in constant contact. Our hands, our mouths, my body pressed against his. We slowly make our way over to the bed. Vincent lowers me gently to the mattress. I feel his lips moving down my neck slowly, deliberately. He knows just how much this drives me wild. I start moaning softly in his ear. Then I whisper quietly "I want you to make love to me. I'm ready."

"Maggie, that isn't what tonight is about. I didn't say those words or give you that gift to pressure you into anything. I want you to be sure this is what you want."

"I'm one thousand percent positive this is what I want. I want to experience what it's like to be with someone who really loves me." He stares deep into my eyes searching, looking for any doubt but all he sees is my resolve.

He leans down little by little until our lips brush against one another. I feel his breath on my mouth, lingering like he's waiting for some reassurance. I gently lift my chin just enough so our lips meet. I kiss him again and again until I feel his body responding. He is finally starting to let go. He starts kissing me back with so much passion. Our mouths are melted together. I start panting so he moves down to my neck giving it tiny kisses while licking and sucking his way up to my jaw.

Then I feel him start to unbutton my shirt. I grab the edge of his t-shirt in response and pull it over his head. After he gets my shirt completely unbuttoned, I sit up slightly so he can pull it off. He looks down at my bra taking in every inch of my body. We stand up and take our own pants off leaving me in just a bra and panties and him in his boxers. But I don't feel embarrassed. I feel wanted as Vince scans my body up and down until he seems satisfied.

We climb back onto the bed. He is pressed on top of my body, skin to skin. He starts kissing every part of me that is exposed. Nothing is rushed. He takes his time. I hold onto his arms, sometimes running my hands over his bare back. He finally reaches around to unhook my bra. When he looks down at my body I see the desire building. He lowers his mouth to my breast looking into my eyes the entire time for approval. I bow off the bed slightly giving him full access to my chest. He smiles sweetly before making me feel things I never thought were possible.

Every touch, every caress comes from a place of love. I can feel it pulsing through his body and into mine. Just when I think I can't take anymore he slides his hand down my thigh pulling at my panties until they come off completely. I'm so lost in his touch I didn't even notice that his boxers are gone. We are laying together, our bodies pressed against one another, looking into each other's eyes. Vince runs his hand back up my inner thigh stopping at just the right place in between my legs. He starts rubbing and caressing me until my mind is about to explode. But then something else happens. My body explodes instead. I can't control the sounds coming out of my mouth. I have never in my life felt something so extreme. As I lay on the bed trying to catch my breath, I see Vince reach over to his pants on the floor and pull out a condom.

I want him so much. I want him to feel everything he just made me feel. He puts the condom on and that's when I notice all his glory. Every part of his body is breathtaking. He looks over at me telling me how beautiful I am. He leans down kissing my mouth, sharing his breath with mine. I wrap my legs around his waist pulling him into me. He very gently positions himself, slowly entering my body. I feel a small burning sensation but it's not bad. He takes his time allowing my body to open up to his. Once he is completely inside of me he stops.

"Are you okay? I want to make sure this isn't painful."

"It feels a little uncomfortable but not in a bad way. You aren't hurting me. I want this more than I've ever wanted anything. I love you."

"I love you Magnolia. With all my heart."

We stay like that for a few more minutes before he starts moving gently. The more he moves the better it feels. Every inch of our bodies are touching. I can feel the sweat from his body dripping down onto mine and I love it. This is what making love is like. This should have been my first time. When I was ready and with the person I truly love. A man willing to wait until I was ready.

I can feel his pace picking up as my body starts reacting. Everything about this moment feels right. I grab his back pulling him closer, kissing his mouth then his neck. I start moaning in his ear until I can't take it anymore. My body explodes around him again. The next thing I know he is laying on top panting like he will never catch his breath again. He kisses me over and over.

"That was amazing. When can we do it again?" Vincent laughs making his whole body shake, which is a strange feeling considering the position we're in.

"Whenever you want me. I'm all yours."

"Maybe not tonight. I'm exhausted. But definitely in the morning."

After getting cleaned up we snuggle in bed together. Vince in his boxers and me in a tank top and my panties. I just don't feel comfortable sleeping completely naked. We whisper in each other's ears just how much we love each other as we fall into a deep sleep.

Sex really wears a girl out. When we woke up this morning we did it again. Then took a nap. Why does it make us so sleepy? We finally make it out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. I decide to make him breakfast since we both know he can't cook. After we eat we take a nice, long, hot shower together. We decide not to leave the apartment the entire weekend. We turn off our cell phones tuning out the world. It's just us. And it's wonderful.

Graduation is over. I have to make a decision. I already discussed things with my Grandfather. He said he would be supportive of whatever I decided but to take this opportunity very seriously because this is my future. He told me I might not get into the same schools if I wait two years. But after the other night I just don't think I can leave Vince. We talked about a long distance relationship but that's not what I want. I want him all the time. Is that asking for too much?

It's been about two weeks since our amazing weekend together. I swear I don't know how people get anything done because every chance we get we seem to go at it like bunnies. I can't seem to get enough of him. We finally made it out to a public place for dinner. I almost forgot what the rest of the town looked like.

After we eat we head out to the creek. The weather has turned warm inviting summer into the air. Our special place is full of the wildflowers blooming all over the creek bank. The trees are full of lush, vibrant green leaves. It reminds me of the first time he brought me here. I love spending time with Vincent especially in our peaceful retreat far away from town. I figure now is as good as time as any to tell him my plans.

"So I made a decision to stay in Milford and go to the community college for the next two years. I figure that gives us more time to figure out where this is going."

"Maggie, you can't do that. I told you we will work it out. I don't want you giving up your dreams to make me happy. I can drive to see you on the weekends or you can come back here."

"I don't want to do that. I don't want to be away from you all week long. Besides, if I went to Michigan or Pennsylvania there is no way I could come home that often. Both are over five hours away. I have to make the time for studying and homework. I just think this is the best option for now."

"It's not. I can't let you do this. I know how much you want to get out of this town and away from Patricia. I can't let you throw away your dreams because of me."

"Dreams can change Vince. People can change. What I wanted a few months ago isn't what I want now."

"Maggie, you don't know what you're talking about. We're just kids. We don't know what we want. You can't make a life altering decision based on our connection."

"Based on our love? Why not? Isn't that what people search their whole lives for? Is to find that person that they can spend the rest of their life with?"

"When did we start talking about forever? Maybe we need to slow things down. Step away and take a breath."

"What are you saying? You don't want to be with me?"

"That's not what I'm saying at all. I just want you to really think about your choice. Maybe we should head back."

"Fine." I stomp off toward the truck. I can't hide the fact that my feelings are hurt. I don't know where any of this is coming from. We've been so happy together. I thought he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I mean we haven't talked marriage or anything but I didn't think he wanted space. When we get back to my apartment he doesn't even come inside. He says he needs to go. He feels cold and distant. Nothing like my Vincent. Nothing at all.

Several days go by without more than a few words in a text message from Vince. I had a long talk with Amanda trying to figure out what in the world could be going on with him. She thinks I spooked him by talking so much about our future. She said guys don't like that but I just don't think that's true of Vince. He was the one who would talk about our relationship in future tense. We've never been apart for this long and my heart is aching to be near him.

After close to a week with very little contact he sends me a text asking if we can talk. I tell him he can come over after I get off work. I can't concentrate on a single thing the whole night. I just keep thinking about what he could possibly have to say. I rush home just in time to change my clothes and freshen up. That's when I hear the door.

"Hey stranger."

"Hi Maggie." I don't get the warm welcome I'm used to. He doesn't try to hug or kiss me. I can feel the coldness radiating off him so I step aside letting him walk around me. He doesn't go to the living room as expected. Instead he heads into the kitchen and sits down at my tiny table. This is so not good. I have a sour feeling in my stomach. Something just isn't right.

"Vince, what's going on?"

"We need to talk. The other day when you brought up our future together I got scared. I think I've given you the wrong impression. I do love you. Please don't ever doubt my feelings. But I just don't think I'm ready for this huge commitment. I was actually thinking you going off to college would be good for us. Get some separation, take a break from things. Everything with you is so intense I never have time to really consider where this is headed. That's why I haven't been around the last few days. I wanted time to think about all the options. I think some distance would be good for both of us."

I'm stunned. I can't even begin to process what he's just told me. He basically just stuck his hand in my chest and ripped my heart out while it was still beating. It takes every ounce of self-control not to show my true emotions. I will not let him see the effect he is having on me.

"So what you're saying is you want a break? While I go off to college?"