Sublime Wreckage (25 page)

After dinner is over I insist on cleaning up the kitchen as a thank you. But instead of joining everyone else in the living room, Vince's mother stays to help. My mother never helped me. It seems odd in a way to have another person in the kitchen while I do the dishes. She starts to put all the food away making small care packages for all of us. I might just love her already.

"Thank you for whatever you did to make Vincent believe again. When he lost his father he started to doubt his belief in God. I know I have you to thank for what I witnessed tonight. He's told me a little about your struggles in life. I think you were sent to him to guide him back. It takes so much to have faith in something you can't see or touch especially when tragedy has struck your family. But I can tell you push through it Maggie. I can see the faith in your eyes. You have a very strong spirit. As long as you hold onto that you will go very far in your life. I just hope you take Vincent with you." She walks over and gives me a tight hug. I can't help the tears now. That is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me.

"I can see where Vincent gets his kind heart. Thank you for your generous words. I hope I don't let you down." I let my guard down and hug her back. This is what a mother is supposed to feel like. Warm and loving speaking encouraging words instead of hurtful remarks. I wish my mother was like this.

After the kitchen is clean and all the food is put away we head into the living room. I take a seat next to Vince on the couch. We spend the next two hours laughing and talking sharing so many memories of Vince and Joey as kids. This is by far one of my favorite nights. It's getting late so we take Keri home then head back to my place.

"I don't have to be at work until 5 o'clock tomorrow. Want to stay over?" I look at Vince with pleading eyes.

"How could I refuse such an adorable face?" I head into the bedroom to get changed while Vince takes his turn in the bathroom. It's too small for us both to fit, comfortably anyway. I change into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Vince walks out of the bathroom in just his boxer shorts. I take every ounce of his body and store it securely in my memory. I don't even care that he sees me gawking. I look him up and down for several minutes before feeling satisfied. When I make my way back up to his eyes they are blazing with need. Apparently he was looking me over in the same desirable way.

I walk slowly over to his chiseled body. I lean in ever so gently and kiss his chest right where his heart is. When I look up again my eyes are drawn to his mouth. Full, luscious lips are begging to be kissed. I reach up on my tip toes giving him a small sample before I dig in. I take my time pulling his bottom lip into my mouth and sucking but the minute I hear his moan I lose all control. I wrap my arms around him pulling him closer and closer. His hands are on my back but they start to slide down to my thighs. It feels like a bolt of electricity is shooting through my entire body. Vince grabs my legs lifting me off the ground. I wrap them around his waist as he carries me over to the bed. He lays me down without breaking our connection for even one second.

I'm panting, I need air. It's like he read my mind because he gives my mouth a break while he starts trailing kiss after kiss down my neck. It's like a live wire to every erogenous zone in my body. I feel the warmth of his breath as he licks then sucks my skin. Everything feels amazing. Every hair on my body is standing up, every muscle clenched in anticipation. This feels so right. But I also know if we take this next step it will change everything. I know neither of us is ready for that. I grab both sides of his face bringing him back to my mouth. I kiss him slowly, tenderly. Telling him without words that I'm not ready. He returns my soft kisses conveying that he understands. We stay like that for what seems like eternity.

"Magnolia." He whispers in my ear before sliding off my body. He lays on his back pulling me onto his chest. I snuggle up next to him breathing in his scent as I drift off to a peaceful sleep.

Today is test day for Vince. I'm so nervous for him. I hate that I have to be stuck in school. I think I have checked my phone like a million times waiting for his text. My study buddy Suzy finally asks what's wrong.

"Nothing. I'm just waiting to hear if Vince finished his test. He is taking his GED today and I'm just anxious to hear how he did." Suzy just smiles back at me like I'm some kind of deranged girl. She doesn't get it because she has never let her focus waiver from school. But that's the thing about Vince, he isn't a distraction. If anything he makes me better. Finally I see my phone light up. We aren't even supposed to have them on at school so I had to keep it on silent.

Finished with the test. I feel pretty good about it. Should have the results in a day or two.

That's great. I'm so proud of you!!! Call you later.

I wish I could see him tonight but I have to work. It's amazing just how consuming a new relationship can get. I can see how my mother allowed herself to get so wrapped up in the guys she dated. But with Vince it's not like that. I don't feel like my life has been taken over by our relationship. In fact, it's the opposite. He is just as focused and determined as me even if he won't admit it. He loves studying with me and never discourages me from working on school. He has been the most encouraging boyfriend. I think that's what someone who is right for you is supposed to do. Add to your life, not take away from it. And he definitely adds to mine.

The next day we get our first snowfall. The temperatures have been bordering on freezing for the past two weeks so it's no surprise we have snow before Christmas. Vince texted me first thing this morning telling me he would be picking me up after I get home from school. I'm sure he is thrilled about the snow. It means that he gets to use his new plow. He is one smart man. Planning for the winter months with a snow plowing business. He was able to make agreements with all of his clients to plow their driveways anytime it snows for a flat rate. If the roads get really bad he has a contract with the city to help out. I wish I could say I helped him put it all together but he did it entirely on his own.

He pulls up to my apartment the same time I do. He doesn't even let me go inside. He says we don't have time for that. We have to hurry because we're losing daylight. About ten minutes into the drive I know exactly where he is taking me. The creek. Our creek.

It's a good thing I wore my boots because trucking through 5 inches of snow is not fun. We finally reach the opening in the trees and it takes my breath away.

The sun is setting along the horizon but there's just enough sunlight for the rays to bounce off the slightly frozen water. All of the surrounding trees are covered in a light dusting of snow. The rocks, the ground, everything is white. I'm stunned into silence. He was right. It's so extraordinary. I feel him come up behind me wrapping his arms around my waist while placing his chin on my shoulder. We don't talk. We just stand in each other's presence taking it all in. I don't know how anyone could doubt that God exists when there is such beauty on this earth.

After several moments I hear Vincent whisper in my ear. "I passed."

"I never had a doubt in my mind. Thank you for bringing me here. You were right about how amazing this place looks in the winter. I thought it would seem bare and emotionless with all the leaves gone but it doesn't. The snow brings new life, breathing in even more beauty. It really is magical." We stay like that until my legs start to go numb. I take Vincent's hand in mine and lead the way back to the truck.

"So, where are we going to celebrate? My treat! I got my first paycheck and I want to do something for you for a change."

"Sounds good to me. I could never say no to you. How about we head to that Italian restaurant on the way back to Milford?"

"That sounds great. I love Italian food. Have you told your mom the good news?"

"Not yet. I wanted to celebrate with you first."

"Maybe after dinner we can go over to her house. I know she is going to be just as excited as I am."

"I think that's a great idea. I'm sure my mom can't wait to see you again. She really likes you. Almost more than she likes me."

"I doubt that."

"Why do you sound so surprised? Just because your mom couldn't see you for the incredible person you are doesn't mean other people can't either. You have one of the kindest hearts Maggie. My mom could see that from the moment she met you."

I look out the window allowing his words to sink in. It's hard to hear positive things about yourself when all you've heard for years are negatives. I've known deep down inside that I was worth more than the value my mother put on my existence. It just feels odd having it confirmed by someone else.

Once we are seated at our table I raise my glass to Vince.

"Congrats to the high school graduate!" We clink our glasses together then take a sip of water. "So what's next? College maybe?"

"I don't think so Maggie. I don't think I'm the college type. I just don't think I'd do very well."

"Vincent, why are you always doubting yourself? I believe in you. I know you can do it. I think it would be awesome if we could go off to college together. Just think of the possibilities."

"I can't leave my family. They still need me. And I have a business to run. I just can't leave town. Plus I can't afford college."

"I understand. But that doesn't mean you can't pursue something here. There are two community colleges to choose from that offer inexpensive courses. That's what Amanda's going to do. Just for the first two years then transfer to another school. Then you could apply for scholarships to help you pay for the rest."

"Why even attempt to go when I can't continue onto a four year university? It just doesn't make sense to start something I can't finish. I won't leave my mother and Joey just to pursue something out of my reach."

"Who says you can't finish it?" I can see the fear in his eyes. The fear of failing. He is so hard on himself. I wish he had as much confidence in his abilities as I do. "You could go for a business degree. Learn how to expand your company and turn it into something huge. I'm sure your mom can survive without you. She's stronger than you think. Plus we could go somewhere close so you could visit whenever you wanted."

"I really don't want to talk about this anymore. It's not something in my immediate future. Right now I'm just trying to grow my business and help my mom as much as possible. I don't have time for pipe dreams."

I decide it's best to let it go for now. I can see the irritation building in his eyes. This is clearly a touchy subject for him. Maybe over time I can convince him. I change the subject to something lighter.

"Have you seen Tommy lately? Amanda has been MIA for a while. I think they're seeing each other behind our backs."

"I wouldn't put it past either of them. I talked to Tommy about her a couple of weeks ago. He isn't really the one girl at a time type of guy. I told him not to get involved with her because she's your best friend. I even threatened him but he told me he saw something different in her. They really get each other. They're trying to be friends first. I told him to be careful with Amanda because she's been through a lot when it comes to guys. I warned him that if he hurts her he will have me to deal with."

"Thanks for looking out for her. I know Tommy is a good guy deep down, I just don't want to see her get hurt again."

"She's a smart girl. I think she can see the best parts of Tommy. We just have to sit back and hope they can find what they're looking for. I think it's a good way to start things off, being friends first. I don't think I've ever been friends with a girl before you. We always went straight to dating. I never put any effort into really getting to know them. I wish I could say that's why none of my other relationships worked out but that just isn't true. They didn't work out because they weren't you."

"My only relationship was with Sam. So I don't have much to compare it to but I will say it was nothing like what we have." I look up to see Vince struggling with something. He seems to be contemplating whether or not to say what he seems to be thinking about.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you think that you would be with Sam now if you could? I mean, I don't know why you broke up but I'm assuming it had something to do with your mother. I guess I've just been wondering if you think you made a mistake. Now that you're free of her that you might want to give it another try with him."

"Oh Vincent. Please don't ever think that. Don't ever doubt that I want to be with YOU. Not Sam. He wasn't right for me. I knew that after the one and only time we slept together. I gave him something precious and he treated me like I owed it to him. That's what broke us up. He made me realize there are a thousand things more important in life than sex. That's why I want to take things slow with us. I know the impact of sleeping together and how much it can change things. I hope you understand. Sam didn't know the person you see in front of you now. He knew the person I was pretending to be for my mother. What we have is more real than anything I had with Sam. Does that make sense?"

"Yes. I'm glad you trust me enough to share intimate details about your past with Sam. It takes guts to admit your mistakes. I've had sex before but it never meant anything. It always felt hallow. Maybe because I never really cared about the girls I slept with. Don't get me wrong, there wasn't a lot. But we all make mistakes."

It's so easy to talk to Vince. To open up to him. I've never felt judged by him. Not once. We finish our dinner and head to his mother's house. I can't wait to see her reaction.

Vince and I walk hand in hand up the front porch knocking loudly. His mother throws open the door grinning from ear to ear. She seems so happy to see us. Both of us.

"Come in, come in. Maggie it's so good to see you!" We sit down on the couch waiting for his mother to shut the door. I don't see Joey so he must be at Keri's house.

"Mom, I got my test results. I passed. I'm officially a high school graduate." His mom comes running over to Vince so fast I could've blinked and missed it. He stands up quickly so I don't get smothered by his enthusiastic mother.