Step Up (14 page)

“I wonder who sent that e-mail,” Paul said.

“I don't know, but if it came from my e-mail address, then it should still be in my sent box, right?” Chris stood, went into his room and came back with his laptop computer. “Let's see if there's an outgoing message.”

He sat down, started clicking buttons on his computer until he was logged into his e-mail account. After a few moments of pecking, he looked up at me.

“There's an outgoing message here.”

“Let me see.” I stood over Chris's shoulder. Paul came over and looked, too.

I read the words that were in the outgoing e-mail message in all lowercase:

indigo, i guess your golden boy ain't so golden after all…check out these photos. with deepest sympathy, hollywood

“Open the pictures. I want to see them,” I told Chris.

Chris double-clicked on the photos that were attached to the outgoing e-mail. The first was an intimate shot of Daria and me in Harvard Yard. My arm was wrapped around her shoulder as she gazed into my eyes, her fingertip wiping something from my face. I remembered the exact moment—I wanted to kiss her but the sound of a passing airplane interrupted the moment and we started talking about something else. The second was a photo of Daria and me in the park. She was pressed against the tree and my body and my lips were pressed against hers.

I could have argued that the photos were taken before Indigo became my girl. That they were photos that were taken before I moved to College Park; before I even knew who Indigo Summer was. But the truth of the matter was I was wearing the jersey she'd bought me for my last birthday. And in the third photo, as Daria wrapped her skinny arms around my waist, I twirled the charm that hung from a chain around my neck—the silver charm that was a half heart inscribed with the words I love you. Indigo wore the other half of the heart around her neck on a silver chain. I'd given it to her before I left; a symbol that she had the other half of my heart and I had hers. And when we were back together, in the same state, the heart would be whole again. She had undoubtedly recognized that charm immediately.

I touched my half of the heart that dangled around my neck and wondered if the heart would be whole again after this. “Who do you think sent this?” I asked Chris.

“I don't know. But it pisses me off that someone was able to tap into my computer like that. I feel violated.”

“Hello, good people,” Derrick said as he came through the door. He dropped his backpack at the door. “What's going on?”

He became an immediate suspect in my eyes. Derrick was a computer whiz. He told us that the first day we met. “I could tap into Fort Knox if I wanted to.” Those were his words. Not to mention he wanted Daria from the moment he first laid eyes on her. His ego was shattered when she didn't want him, too. It was no secret he was jealous of me. After all, I had two beautiful girls and he couldn't even pull one.

“Why did you do it?” I asked Derrick. Everyone in the room gave me strange looks, thought I'd lost my mind.

“Do what?” Derrick asked. I could see right through his act of innocence.

“Marcus, what are you saying?” Paul asked. “Are you suggesting that Derrick sent the e-mail?”

“I know he did,” I explained. “It all adds up now. It had to be someone who lives in this dorm. Someone who had access to Chris's computer.”

“But I lock my computer when I'm not using it, Marcus. I never forget,” Chris said.

“But if you're a computer whiz, you can tap into anyone's computer…even when it's locked,” I explained.

“And he wanted Daria for himself,” Jae added.

“But she wouldn't give him the time of day.” I felt like the older white-haired lady on
Murder, She Wrote
as I began to crack the case.

Derrick was silent. With his hands stuffed into the pocket of his khaki shorts, he just stood there with a smug look on his face. He didn't deny the accusations.

“Could you really do something like this?” Paul asked Derrick.

“It wasn't fair…the way he was running around here with a beautiful girl chasing after him…all the while keeping
another beautiful girl at bay while he had his fun. He's not this wonderful person that everybody thinks he is, and I thought someone should know.”

“So you send an anonymous e-mail to his girlfriend? That's undoubtedly a violation of the men's code. That was a punk move!” Paul said, and I was surprised at his choice of words.
Punk move
didn't seem like words that would ever be in his vocabulary. I was proud of him, though.

“A punk move?” I smiled at Paul.

“Yes, Marcus, a punk move,” Paul said, but he wasn't smiling.

“What's a punk move, Marcus?” Jae asked.

“Not now, Jae. I'll explain later.”

“You tapped into my computer without my knowledge? You little…” Chris leapt from his chair, tackled Derrick to the floor.

Before anyone could say another word, Chris had punched Derrick in the face. The two of them tussled on the floor for a few minutes. Chris released the bottled-up anger and gave Derrick the beating that he should've saved for his abusive father. We all stood there for a few minutes, allowing Chris the opportunity to get licks for all of us. Finally, Paul grabbed Chris while I held Derrick down on the floor with the sole of my shoe. I wanted to stomp him—to release some of my own bottled-up anger but decided against it. Violence never solved anything.

When the Harvard Police burst through the door, it was my foot against Derrick's chest that caused them to aggressively pull my arms behind my back and slap handcuffs on to my wrists.

“What are you doing, man? I haven't done anything!” I tried to plead my case.

“Officer, I can affirm he didn't do anything,” Paul said.

“Actually, it was me who assaulted him,” Chris said. “If you want to arrest someone, arrest me.”

We all knew that if Chris was arrested, he would be put out of the summer program and not be able to return to Harvard next fall.

“It's really quite funny, sir…you're going to be largely amused when you hear this,” Paul said. “They were playing around, horseplay if you will. You know how carried away boys can get. I've told them time and again to stop all of the roughhousing…that someone might get hurt, but they don't listen. Wrestling is a sport for a coliseum or a field house I told them…”

“Were you assaulted by either of these men, sir?” the officer asked Derrick.

“Um…” Derrick hesitated…looked around the room at each of our faces one by one; he knew he'd better give the right response or he'd pay. “We were horsing around and it got a little carried away. I was not assaulted by either of these men.”

“So you're not interested in pressing charges?” the officer asked.

“No. No, of course not. Like I said, it was all in fun.” He gave the officer a fake laugh.

“We were close by when one of your neighbors called and said it sounded like someone was fighting,” one officer said as the other one released my handcuffs. If we have to come back out here because you can't control your
horseplay,
then somebody's going to jail.”

“Won't happen again, Officer. You have my word.” Paul escorted them to the door.

In an instant, they were gone and I exhaled. The situation could've been worse. Chris and I could've spent the night in jail and completely screwed up our futures at Harvard. All Derrick had to do was admit to being assaulted and his tes
timony would've changed our lives forever. But he had protected us instead. He must've felt some level of guilt for causing the disturbance in the first place.

“I'm sorry about the computer, man,” Derrick said to Chris. “And, Marcus, I'm sorry about sending the photos to your girlfriend. I was angry. And jealous. I wanted Daria to like me the way she liked you. It messed with my head because I was used to girls chasing after me. When she didn't, I couldn't take it.”

Was he serious? Girls couldn't possibly be chasing after him. He didn't even keep his fro tight, and girls were sticklers for personal hygiene. You had to come correct when you approached them—no funky breath, no corny clothes or shoes and definitely no nappy hair.

“How did you find Indigo's e-mail?”

“She has a MySpace page and a Facebook account,” he said matter-of-factly. Grinning, he added, “She's got some hot pictures on MySpace, by the way. Have you seen them?”

“Hey, watch yourself, bro,” I warned.

“She's way more beautiful than Daria any day of the week. What were you thinking anyway?” Derrick asked.

“I just got caught up, man. Could happen to anybody.”

“Now he's got to figure out how to get her back,” Paul said.

Paul was right. I needed a plan of action. Poor judgment had caused the girl of my dreams to slip right through my fingers. I knew that I needed to start praying because it was going to take an act of God to get her back.

Vance

The
taxi from the hotel in Ruston back to campus cost me twenty-three bucks and some change. Killed my spending cash but it was better than walking. In one evening, my life had been turned upside down and I didn't know what to expect next. As I sat there on the edge of my bed, my phone in hand, I thought about calling my mother. She always knew what to do in the toughest situations. And she was the only person in the whole world who wasn't so quick to judge me and would have some good advice for me. She would tell me how to move forward, because at the moment I was stuck.

“Hey, Ma, it's me…Vance,” I said when she picked up her phone.

“Hello, baby. How are you?” I could hear the smile in her voice. I always made her happy when I called home, which was rare. She usually ended up calling me just to make sure I was all right and didn't need for anything.

“I'm okay. Just got a lot on my head right now. Feeling a little down.”

“Talk to me. What's going on?”

“I messed up everything, Ma. I came down here and lost
my focus. I started dating this girl, Lexi. And I really, really like her, Ma, but I kept feeling guilty about liking her so much because of Tameka.”

“Baby, there's nothing wrong with meeting another girl that you like—”

I interrupted her because I wanted to get it all out, didn't want to forget one detail. “I mean, I respect Tameka and I want to handle my responsibility…you know, as a man and take care of my kid…”

“Did you tell Tameka how you feel…that you met someone else?”

“No, I didn't.”

“Did you tell this other girl…what's her name?”

“Lexi.”

“Did you tell Lexi about Tameka and that you were about to become a father?”

“No, ma'am. I just kept juggling both of them and hoping that I never had to tell either of them anything. But tonight, it all exploded in my face.”

“What happened?”

“Tameka showed up here, in Grambling. I had no idea that she was coming. She popped up at the restaurant where I was having dinner with Lexi and her parents—”

“So you've met this girl's parents?”

“Yes. I went to her hometown for the Fourth of July weekend and made a complete fool of myself. But that's another story,” I told her. “But tonight, I was having dinner with them again, and I really think her father was starting to like me—”

“You must really like this girl if you're trying to impress her father.”

“I do really like her, Ma, but can I finish the story?”

She was driving me crazy with the interruptions. I had so much to tell her and I needed to get it all out.

“Of course, I won't interrupt again.”

“Anyway, I'm having dinner with Lexi and her parents, and Tameka pops up out of nowhere, waddles over to the table and practically let the whole world know that I was her baby daddy—”

“Well, you are her baby daddy, sweetie.” She chuckled.

“Ma, I was trying so hard to impress Lexi's father. And he was finally warming up to me, even after the fiasco in Jackson, Mississippi. He had already been skeptical about me…thinking that I wasn't good enough for his daughter or something—”

“Well, you can lose that thought. You are good enough! You're a spectacular young man with a bright future. Your father and I are proud of your accomplishments. You've made good grades in school, received a full scholarship to a four-year college—”

“And got a girl pregnant…”

“Okay, you made a mistake, sweetheart. We all make mistakes. I have news for you. You're going to continue to make mistakes as long as you live. But you have to correct your mistakes and move on. That's why, for your first year in college, your father and I will handle your financial responsibilities as far as the baby's concerned, just like we said. When the baby's born, you will be an active part of his or her life. I'm talking about spending quality time and bonding with the child as much as possible. Next school year, you will get a part-time job so that you can handle your responsibilities on your own. It's not the end of the world, Vance.”

“Feels like it.”

“Let me tell you where you went wrong, honey. And then maybe you can focus again,” Mom said. “It wasn't fair to Tameka to keep her hanging on…hoping and wishing that you, her and the baby were going to be this big happy family once the baby was born—”

“I couldn't—”

“Let me finish,” she interrupted. “You knew long before you went away to school that you weren't in love with that girl. I knew it because I know you. There was no spark in your eyes or excitement in your voice when you spoke about her. Not like this new girl. Yet, you tried so hard to be noble…to do the right thing and that just means that you have character. All that's wonderful, but, baby, in essence you strung her along….”

“I didn't want to hurt her feelings.”

“Sometimes we hurt people more when we're not honest with them. And you weren't very honest with Tameka and as a result you ended up hurting her more. You created a mess. And now you have this new girl, Lexi, who is walking around campus thinking that she's the only girl in your life. But the truth is, you've got this huge secret that you don't even bother to share with her. You didn't give her a say in the matter. You took away her choices. What if she wasn't interested in dating a guy who had a baby on the way?”

“That's what I was afraid of…that she wouldn't want me. That's why I didn't tell her.”

“It wasn't up to you to make that decision for her. She deserved an opportunity to make her own choices and you took that away.”

“I didn't want to lose her.”

“It wasn't just about you, sweetie, and that's how you made it. Nobody had any choices but you. You made choices for both of them and that simply wasn't fair.”

“So how do I fix it, Ma? They both hate me right now. They won't answer my calls or my text messages.”

“What is it that you want, honey? You tell me.”

“I want to do the right thing and be a father to my child when he or she gets here. I want to continue to be friends
with Tameka. I want her to forgive me. But I don't think a relationship is the best thing for us right now.”

“Okay.”

“And I want Lexi to be my girl. Ma, I really like her. She's smart, she's athletic and she's funny. I can be myself around her. I can say what I wanna say and she doesn't get all weird-acting like other girls. And did I mention that she's pretty?”

“You didn't mention it but I figured that was one of her attributes.” Mom laughed.

“I can't think of any girl that I have ever liked better.”

“Okay. Your problems really aren't that huge, Vance. Here's what you have to do. Is Tameka still there?”

“I think so.”

“You've got to get some one-on-one time with her. You do everything you can to get with her before she leaves. You apologize profusely for being inconsiderate and dishonest. And then you let her know what your plans are…that you fully intend to take care for your child but a relationship with her is not what you would like right now. She's going to be hurt but years from now she'll respect you for it.”

“That's not gonna be easy.”

“Of course not. Some things in life just aren't easy, but what matters is that you do the right thing.”

“What about Lexi?”

“If Lexi is this wonderful person that you say she is…she'll be all right. She'll come around. If it's meant to be, it will be. You apologize to her for being dishonest. You tell her how you feel about her and let nature take its course.”

“What if she doesn't take me back? What if she doesn't accept my apology?”

“Sweetie, you're still young. You're handsome. There are a million other Lexis out there just waiting to get a shot at Vance Armstrong.”

“But I don't want a million other Lexis…I want this one.”

“Well, you have to let her know that,” Mom said. “I hope you feel better, son.”

“I do, Ma. Thank you. You're always there for me, no matter what. Even when I mess up.”

“That's my job.”

“I feel much better, but I got a lot of work to do.”

“You can handle it, Counselor. I believe in you.” I loved Mom's new nickname for me—
Counselor.
It sounded good, especially since some judge would be calling me that someday. It reminded me of why I came to Grambling in the first place—to get my undergrad studies over with so that I could go to law school and follow in my mother's footsteps.

I had my focus back. I knew what I had to do and I couldn't wait to get it done. The sooner I got to it, the sooner I could get on with my life. After hanging up with Mom, I gave Tameka's cell phone one last call. I would leave her a message and let her know that I wanted to meet her somewhere and talk, if she was interested in hearing what I had to say. For the tenth time, I received her voice mail and decided to leave her one last message.

“Tameka, it's Vance. Of course you already know that. I'm sure you're sitting there looking at the screen and pressing the ‘ignore' button every time you see my name. Um…I really need to talk to you…about our future and the future of our baby. I know it's late, but I was wondering if you could meet me in front of the football field at ten o'clock. That's thirty minutes from now. Anyway, I hope you show up.”

I hung up. Hoped that Tameka would get my message in time.