Step Up (9 page)

Vance

Mr.
Bishop waited patiently for me at the kitchen table, a look of disgust on his face.

“Have a seat, son,” he said and motioned for me to take the seat across the table from him.

“Yes, sir,” I said nervously. “I'm sorry about the misunderstanding earlier. I was just coming in to say good-night to Lexi and…”

“Forget about it, son,” he said. “Talk to me about your future. I know that you're attending that university down there in Louisiana on a basketball scholarship, but what is it that you're studying? You know that basketball will only take you so far. You got to have some other things under your belt. Do you have a plan?”

“I'm planning to go to law school, sir. My mother is a lawyer and I want to follow in her footsteps.”

“That's a good career choice. Lots of money to be made, although most of the lawyers I know are liars and cheaters…but hey, everybody can't be honest.”

I didn't know what to say about that comment, so I didn't say anything. My mother was a lawyer and she wasn't a liar
or a cheater. I just kept quiet and listened as he rambled on about his lying lawyer friends.

“You ain't got no kids, do you?” he asked.

I hesitated for a moment. I wasn't ready to admit that I had a baby on the way, especially since I hadn't even told Lexi. “No, sir, I don't.”

Technically it wasn't a lie, since…at the moment, I
didn't
have any kids. The baby wasn't born yet, so therefore I wasn't anybody's father—just yet. Not to mention, the longer I stayed away from Georgia, the less true it seemed. I'd found the reality easier to cope with since I was in another state. In another state I could be who or whatever I wanted to be. I could recreate myself and no one would ever know. If I decided that I didn't really have a baby on the way, then it wasn't true. If I decided that I didn't have a girlfriend waiting for me back home, then it wasn't true. So tonight, it wasn't true.

“That's good, son,” Mr. Bishop said matter-of-factly. “Kids nowadays are having kids left and right and they're too doggone young to be parents, in my opinion….”

I was silent. Didn't agree. Didn't disagree.

“Just so you know, my daughter has hopes and dreams for a bright future. She intends to finish college and have a successful career before she even thinks about having children. Furthermore, she will be married first. She can't afford to be careless,” he said, and I knew where this conversation was going. “Mistakes can't be reversed. You understand what I'm saying to you, son?”

“Yes, sir,” I said.

“Good. I'm glad we have an understanding. Now I want you to go into that guest room and get yourself a good night's sleep. And in the morning, I want you and your friend out of my house.”

“Okay.”

He stood, tightened the belt on his robe.

“Good night, son.”

“Good night, Mr. Bishop.”

He headed down the hallway. I stood slowly; dropped my head. I was embarrassed. Not to mention I felt guilty about lying to Lexi's father. It hurt to know that I was that dude that he was protecting his daughter from. I was that person who was too young to already have his girlfriend pregnant in Atlanta. I felt ashamed. Wished I could go back to that night; change it. Even though Tameka and I had been careful, we were still living with the consequences of our actions. And for that we would pay for the rest of our lives.

Lying there in the guest bedroom, staring at the ceiling, I thought about my future. I knew that dating a girl like Lexi was out of my reach. She didn't need a guy like me in her life. She deserved someone whose future didn't include changing diapers and warming formula on top of a hot stove. And Tameka deserved a better boyfriend than the one I had been to her. I had been treating her badly and acting as if she didn't even exist. As long as I didn't have to look at her huge stomach and listen to her stories about swollen ankles and being tired all the time, then her pregnancy wasn't real to me. I could do whatever I wanted to do. Nobody in Grambling, Louisiana, knew that I was a father-to-be. But as I lay there, I knew that I needed to change all that. Tameka deserved more, and my plan was to call and let her know just as soon as I got back on campus.

The next morning, I wasn't interested in the country breakfast that Kat had laid out for us—scrambled eggs, sausage, hash browns, fluffy pancakes, grits and orange juice. It looked good, but I'd lost my appetite after last night's fiasco. I wanted to get back to campus as soon as
possible. Unfortunately I had to wait for Lexi, Jessie and Jaylen to scarf down as much food as their stomachs could hold before we finally piled into Jessie's car. I was quiet on the drive back to campus as Jessie and Lexi ran their mouths the entire way. Every now and then Jaylen would jump into the conversation. But as far as I was concerned, I had too much on my mind for small talk. Mr. Bishop had definitely given me some things to think about.

When we pulled into the school's parking lot, I hopped out of the car, grabbed my bag from the back of the car, told everyone goodbye and headed toward my dorm. Lexi hopped out and rushed to catch up to me.

“Wait up, Vance,” she said. “Aren't you gonna walk me to my dorm?”

“I'm kind of tired. Just trying to get to my room and relax a little bit. Got class tomorrow. I just need a little space. Is that cool?” I didn't give her a chance to respond before I said, “I'll call you later.”

“Okay,” she said. “Are you hungry? Because you didn't eat anything for breakfast. You want me to go grab you something?”

“Nah, I'm all right. Not hungry.”

“And you don't want any company?”

“Just wanna be alone for a while.”

“I'm sorry about what my little brother, Zach, did. He can be so stupid sometimes. You forgive me?”

“It's not you, Lexi…or Zach or anything like that. I just need some space, okay?”

“All right,” she said reluctantly. “Call me when you feel like talking.”

She turned to walk away and then began to jog toward her building. Her feelings were hurt but I couldn't worry about that. I had other things on my mind and I needed to be left alone.

Once inside my dormitory, I collapsed onto my bed. Eyes staring at the ceiling, I tossed a basketball into the air. Jaylen walked in and dropped his gym bag onto the floor.

“What's up with you, man? I'm really starting to worry about you. You didn't say two words all the way home.” He placed the back of his hand on to my forehead. “Are you sick?”

“Just got a lot on my head, man. I'm seventeen and about to become a father. And I didn't really realize how huge that was until my conversation last night with Mr. Bishop.”

“You told Lexi's father about the baby?”

“Of course not,” I said. “But it was almost like he knew…like he could see through me or something.”

“Did he threaten to kill you?”

“Just to break my legs.” We both laughed.

“What's on your mind then?”

“I gotta make things right with Tameka. I have to step up to the plate and do the right thing by her.”

“Well, you know it's a frat party going on tonight. Can you make things right with her in the morning…
after the party?
”

I knew that the right thing to do was say no. I had no business thinking about a party when I had other worries going on. But curiosity had me in a headlock and wouldn't let go. I felt guilty about wanting to know the details of the party, but asked anyway, “Who's throwing it?”

“The twins, Sheila and Sherry. Those two beautiful vanilla-colored girls with the voluptuous…um…” He made a motion with his hands like he was cupping a set of breasts. “Where you been? That's all we talked about on the drive home. Weren't you listening?”

“Not at all. My mind was somewhere else.”

“Well, we have to go. At least show our faces.” He grinned. “There will be girls, girls and more girls. You know that, right?”

I nodded a yes.

“Cool. Then we're going, right?”

“Can't miss it,” I said.

“I'm hitting the showers then.” He pulled his T-shirt over his head and then headed toward the showers.

I sat on the edge of my bed—wondered if my Boston Celtics jersey was clean because I had plans for it. Whatever I was feeling at Lexi's parents' house and on the way home was slowly fading away. It wasn't anything that a hot party couldn't fix.

 

As loud music rang in my ears, soft, skinny arms wrapped themselves around me from behind. A sweet voice whispered in my ear, “Hey, Vance.”

I turned to find a set of pretty brown eyes looking square into mine. The cute little dimple doing a dance on her cheek. I hadn't seen Shay since Jaylen and I first stepped on campus; since the day that she and her girlfriend, Kim, had invited us to a party. I had hopes of seeing her at the party that night, but there were so many people there. Looking for her would've been like looking for a needle in a haystack.

“What's up, girl?” I took a glance around the room just to make sure that Lexi wasn't somewhere watching as some girl wrapped her arms around me. Lexi and I weren't officially committed but I liked her. Didn't want her feelings to be hurt over someone I barely knew.

“Nothing's up. Where you been hiding?” she asked. “I've been hoping to bump into you somewhere.”

“Well, you haven't been looking very hard. I play ball, remember?”

“That's true,” she said.

When the deejay slowed the music down, we both started rocking to the music.

“You wanna dance?” I asked her. It seemed only natural to ask her to dance, considering we were both swaying already and the song was nice.

“Yeah,” she said and followed me to the dance floor.

My arms around her waist and hers around my neck, we talked about meaningless things like school and whether or not I was adjusting to college life. It was hard to focus when her cologne was intoxicating me; it made me want to pull her closer but I remained a gentleman. When the conversation changed to a more personal one, I knew that Shay was interested in a lot more than dancing.

“Truthfully, I've been watching you practice just about every day, Vance. Hoping that you would notice me up there in the stands checking out your game,” she admitted.

“I didn't know you were up there.” I blushed. “Why didn't you holler at me or something?”

“Because I'm not used to hollering at guys. I'm used to guys hollering at me,” she said.

“But if you see something you're interested in, why wouldn't you let somebody know?” I asked.

“I don't know. I guess I'm letting you know now…that I'm interested. What you got to say about that?” she asked.

“I say…that's nice,” I said.

“A friend of mine has an apartment not far from here. It's empty tonight. I can take you there and show you just how interested I am.”

“Um…” I took a glance around the room again, in search of those beautiful eyes that belonged to Lexi. She was nowhere to be found and a pretty girl wanted to show me how interested she was in me. “Okay. You got a car?”

“We don't really need a car…that is, if you don't mind walking.”

“I can walk.”

“Cool. Let's go.”

On the way toward the door, I spotted Jaylen who had already started a conversation with Shay's friend, Kim. They were sipping from cups filled with something when I approached. Shay pulled Kim aside and obviously ran our plans down to her. I leaned in closer to Jaylen, just to give him an update as well.

Before I knew it, I was strolling down a dark unpaved road, headed for whatever adventure the night had in store for me.

Marcus

I sat
in the common area of our dorm suite, iPod in hand and earbuds inside of my ears. My African American studies book open, I tried to focus while taking notes. The television was tuned to the news as Jae ferociously took notes in a spiral notebook, Paul listened intently to the newscaster on television, Chris argued loudly with someone on his cell phone and Derrick played a game on his PSP.

He looked up at me. “So what's up with the girl, Marcus? Daria?” he asked.

I shrugged. “I don't know, man.”

“I thought you were gonna hook me up.” His eyes were steady on his game. “What happened to that?”

“What made you think that Marcus was going to hook you up with her? It's obvious he wants her for himself.” Paul smiled.

“Marcus can't be interested in her,” Chris said. “He has a girlfriend in…what's the name of that city in the middle of Atlanta's ghetto, Marcus?”

“Is he talking to me?” I asked, offended that he was referring to my neighborhood as the ghetto.

“Marcus is from College Park, Georgia,” Paul interjected.

“Yeah,” Chris said. “That's where his girlfriend lives.”

“Marcus's girlfriend, Indigo, is very beautiful,” Jae said. “I saw her picture.”

“How would she feel if she knew you were running around campus with another girl, Marcus?” Chris asked. “Better yet, how would you feel if she hooked up with someone else back there in…College Park?”

“First of all, me and Daria are just friends.”

“Marcus, it's Daria and I.” Paul corrected my bad English.

“Yeah, Daria and I are just friends. Not that it's any of your business anyway,” I said to Chris. “And secondly, I trust my girl and she trusts me.”

“I think the more appropriate question is do you trust yourself?” Chris asked.

As anal as Chris was, and no matter how inappropriate his conversation was, the truth was he had a point. I didn't trust myself around Daria. And I didn't trust myself when I wasn't around her. She always seemed to find her way into my thoughts in the middle of the day. Sometimes I wondered what she was doing there and occasionally I could even smell her perfume in my head. It had only been two nights since her beautiful face had last crept into my dreams and already I missed her.

The whole thing was confusing. I didn't know how to explain what I was feeling. I loved Indigo, missed her smile and longed to hold her in my arms. We sent text messages back and forth all through the day and sent photos of each other with our camera phones. We talked each other to sleep every night and she woke me up every morning with her bright, sunshiny voice. Indigo was the girl of my dreams. Wasn't she?

Hooking Daria up with Derrick should've been easy for me, but it wasn't. I didn't want to. He wasn't good enough for her—not like me. I was a much better choice, and even
though I was taken, I didn't want to see her with anyone else. I wanted her to myself. And the truth was she wanted me.

I flipped open my phone and sent her a text.

Hey U. WUP?

U. Daria responded.

What U doin 2nite?

Waitin 4 U to take me to the coffee house.

Now? I asked.

The thought of seeing Daria again made my heart race. Part of me wanted to get to her before Derrick. Although his chances with her were slim to none, I wanted to make sure he never made it to first base. If I had to spend every waking hour with her, just to make sure, then that's what I intended to do.

Yes now, Daria replied.

On my way. I typed the words without hesitation—without rethinking my plans of staying in for the night…studying for my exam.

Before I knew it those plans had changed and I was closing my book. I stood up and headed for my room. I changed shirts, sprayed a little cologne on my neck and brushed my waves. I slipped my Jordans on to my feet and popped a mint into my mouth. As I strolled through the living area and reached for the door, all eyes were on me.

“I'm just gonna step out for a little bit,” I explained to the guys.

“Where you going, Marcus?” Paul asked.

“Out for coffee,” I said and before anyone could ask another question, I was already shutting the door behind me. I didn't feel like explaining or being judged by anyone. I didn't feel like hearing Chris's mouth about my girlfriend in the ghetto, and I definitely didn't want Derrick tagging along just so he could catch a glimpse at the best-looking girl in Boston. What they didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

Daria looked good in her tangerine-colored top and jeans that hugged every curve of her hips. She gave me a hug, her head resting against my chest. She grabbed me by the hand and pulled me in the opposite direction of the “T” station.

“Thought we were going to the coffeehouse,” I said.

“I wanna show you something first,” she said.

We approached the entrance of a nearby park, her hand holding on to mine tightly. Daria leaned against the trunk of a tree. Before I could think about it, I was leaned against her and our lips were locked instantly. Not like the kiss at the bar, which was more soft and friendly—a brotherly kiss. This one was more of an I-want-you-right-now type of kiss. I wrapped my arms tighter around her small waist; I pulled her closer.

“What am I doing?” I asked myself, not realizing that I'd said it aloud.

“You're kissing me.” Daria smiled. “Are you nervous, Marcus?”

“Not really nervous, but…”

“But you're thinking about your girlfriend? Wondering what she would think about you kissing another girl?”

“It's wrong.”

“She's not here, and what she doesn't know won't hurt her.”

She had a point. Indigo was miles away and unless I told her about kissing Daria, she wouldn't know. Still, I felt guilt in the pit of my stomach; kind of like the feeling I got that time when I failed American History and couldn't think of the words to tell my parents. I knew they'd be disappointed.

Indigo believed in me and trusted me to do the right thing. Just like I trusted her to keep her lips off of another dude, she expected the same thing from me. And here I was betraying her. Suddenly, kissing Daria didn't feel so good.

“I don't want to hurt my girl, Daria. I mean, you're beau
tiful and interesting…and…you know, you have a lot to offer. But I love my girl.”

“I understand, Marcus. But when you think about it, she's so far away. And before long, you'll be going away to college for good. In less than a year, you'll be a freshmen here at Harvard and she'll be…what? Still in high school?” she asked. “Will your relationship with her survive Harvard, Marcus?”

That was a question that I'd never thought about. It was true. I would be leaving Georgia soon…for good—not just for the summer. I'd be a college student soon and Indigo would still be walking the halls of Carver High School, dancing on the school's dance team and doing other things that high school girls did. She would be so far away that I wouldn't see her very often. Not to mention we would have less in common. I wouldn't be able to have intellectual conversations with Indigo—about world history and the state of our economy, like the debates we had in class. She wouldn't understand things like that. Being at Harvard over the summer had me thinking different—about important things like my future and how Indigo wasn't really on my level anymore. She was still a kid. Daria, on the other hand, was more mature—a woman. She understood things and we had more in common. We were both Harvard students who could hold intellectual conversations with each other. It was no secret, I liked her.

“Come here. Let me show you something.” Daria grabbed my hand.

I followed her as we climbed a steep hill. At the top, we took seats side by side on the green grass underneath an oak tree that overlooked the entire city. It was a nice view—like something out of a magazine or in a movie. It was one of the views that you wanted to take a picture of and place in a photo album. Daria got closer and grabbed my hand in hers.

“It's nice up here,” I said.

“Romantic, huh?”

“I guess you could say that.”

We sat there for at least an hour, talking about things. I told her all about Indigo and she talked about the boyfriend that she had left behind before going away to college. She told me about her family and the fact that her parents got divorced the summer before she went away to school. She was still bitter with them about it. I totally understood how she felt because I'd felt the same way when my parents were divorced. It was like my life had stood still.

Daria told me about a guy that she'd gone on a date with in her first year at Harvard. He was aggressive and wanted to have sex with her on the first date. When she said no, he'd grabbed her by the arm and shoved her into the wall. Tried to force himself on her. Luckily she was able to break free and took off running. When she got to her dorm, she told her roommate about what happened but never told anyone else. Never pressed charges. Never even brought it up again until now.

“Why didn't you tell someone in authority?” I asked her. “That was date rape!”

“Well, since he didn't really get that far, I just let it go.”

“Does he still go to Harvard?” I asked. “Do you still see him around?”

“Yes,” she said and seemed uncomfortable about talking about it all of a sudden. “I see him all the time. Now can we talk about something else?”

“Okay.” I said it but didn't really mean it. I wanted to finish our conversation about the date. I wanted to know who he was and confront him about it. I wondered if it was too late to bring charges against him.

“You seem like the perfect gentleman, Marcus. Like you wouldn't hurt a fly.” She smiled. “Indigo is a lucky girl.”

“Yeah, she is pretty lucky.” I laughed. “So let me ask you something…why won't you give my boy, Derrick, some play? He's feeling you.”

“He's not my type,” she said matter-of-factly.

“What is your type?” I asked.

Before I knew it, her lips were against mine again. I knew I should've pried them away but I couldn't.

“You're my type, Marcus,” she whispered.

I knew I needed to get back to reality but I wasn't sure how. I was trapped between what I wanted to do and what I knew to be the right thing to do. The right thing to do was to get up and run back to my dorm as fast as I could. But I was paralyzed. Indigo's face was in my head but Daria was in my arms.