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“You ready to go, Cass?”  Brooklyn, who is finally standing on her own two feet, meets my eyes as she loops her arm through number fifty-five’s.  “I’m going to ride with Austin, okay?”  Her eyes shift speculatively to Cole before she smirks, “do you want to ride with us or are you going to-”

I start shaking my head because all I want at this point is to head back to the dorms.  Back to where my heart doesn’t feel like it’s going to jackhammer right out of my chest.

“I-”

Cole quickly waves them off as everyone starts leaving the arena.  “Don’t worry about Cassidy, I’ll make sure she gets there.”

Eyes wide, nerves spark along my skin as I spin towards him.  “But I don’t want to go to the bar anymore,” I whisper.  Thick tendrils of anxiety are already wrapping themselves around me.  “I’m just going to head home.”  I need to get out of here before I seriously lose my shit.

“Okay, then I’ll take you home,” Cole murmurs easily.  He doesn’t even try talking me into going to the bar and for some reason that only makes matters worse.  I don’t want Cole giving me a ride home.  I don’t want to spend any more time with him.

Because I’m starting to like him.

Too much.

Dr. Thompson is right.  I’m not ready for this.  I almost laugh. 
I’m nowhere near ready for this
.  I’m a complete mess.  Even if he doesn’t see it yet… I am.

Reaching up, his hand slides its way under my chin before tipping it up so that he can scrutinize my eyes which I imagine are flaring wide with panic.  My body stiffens with the contact.

Gulping, I try tamping down the rising anxiety.  Already my body feels as if it’s humming with nerves.  My chest feels like someone is squeezing it with their fist.  Pressing my eyes tightly shut, I do the only thing I can.  I inhale a shaky breath through my nose before exhaling it slowly out of my mouth.  And I keep doing that until I can feel the vise squeezing my chest slowly begin to loosen.

Until I can breathe again.

When I finally open my eyes, I realize that the lights in the arena have dimmed and we’re standing alone in the now quiet lobby.  The sound of our breathing echoes off the blue painted cement walls.  My face instantly flames with hot licks of embarrassment.  His hand is still holding my chin.  His eyes are locked on mine even as he breaks the physical contact between us by taking a small step away from me.

God, I am such a freak.

Worse than that?

He has to realize it by now.  I mean, just look at me… I’m a fucking mess.  Standing in the empty lobby of the arena, I just want to die of humiliation.

I certainly won’t have to worry about him flirting with me anymore.  And maybe that’s for the best.  What am I saying?  Of course it’s for the best.

“Are you ready to go?”  His voice is soft and gentle, which only makes me feel like an even bigger loser.  Seriously, why does he have to be so nice?

“Yeah.” I need to get out of here before I completely fall apart.

“Come on.”  This time he’s careful not to touch me.  I have no idea what he’s thinking but I’m relieved that he doesn’t try to hold my hand or put an arm around my shoulders.  Even more than that, I’m grateful that he doesn’t ask any questions because it’s doubtful I would be able to answer them.  “I’ll take you home now.”

Unable to speak, I nod as we leave the darkened arena behind us.  The parking lot is practically deserted as we walk in silence to his car.  Opening the door for me, he leans over, sliding the seatbelt carefully across my chest before snapping it firmly in place.  Then he just sits there, hunkered down on the pavement besides me so that we are eye level.  His golden brown eyes search mine in the darkness as if he’s somehow able to pick carefully through all the thoughts I haven’t been strong enough to give voice to.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, he whispers, “I won’t hurt you, Cassidy.”

Even though his words have something desperate twisting inside me, I say what needs to be said.  “I’m sorry, I just can’t.”

He takes a deep breath, filling his lungs completely before exhaling softly.  Without another word he stands up, quietly closing the door and walking around to the driver’s side before sliding inside.  The ten minute drive to the dorms is an excruciatingly silent one.

Chapter Eight

Cole

“What’s your problem, dude, we won!”  Austin shouts this from across the table in the noisy bar we’re sitting in.  “Freaking act like it!”  Almost immediately his attention becomes ensnared by the curvy blonde sitting on his lap.  I’m genuinely surprised he even noticed that I’m sitting across from him in the first place.

Nursing my beer, I grunt instead of replying because really, what am I supposed to say?  That I’m stuck on some gorgeous chick with the most beautiful ebony colored hair I’ve ever seen?  Or the biggest, clearest blue eyes I’ve ever had the sad misfortune of gazing into?

Fuck.

I would literally get the crap kicked right out of me if I said something like that.

And you know what?  I would totally deserve it.  Hell, I probably deserve it for even thinking along those lines.

I am so completely screwed.

Worse than that?

I’m not sure if there is anything I can do to salvage whatever Cassidy and I have going on between us.  Even though I’ve only known her for about a week, she’s all I think about.  And that can’t be a good sign.  She had jokingly accused me of stalking her.  Well, she’s not too far from the truth.  I mean, no, I am not actually making a conscious effort to follow her around campus.  Luckily for me, we just so happen to run into each other fairly often which makes this little fixation I’ve got going on all the more convenient.

Well, for me, that is.  Cassidy, not so much.

At the party last Thursday, I hadn’t thought too much about her reaction when I’d grabbed her arm.  I just figured she’d been pissed that I had stopped her from leaving.  But after tonight, watching what happened, it was like she had snapped into some kind of bizarre trance.

Like she’d been frightened.

Of me.

Of me.

Which doesn’t make the least bit of sense.

Clearly this girl has some issues.... but damn if she doesn’t surprise me at every turn.  Now I find out that she knows hockey.  And here I’d thought it was hot that she was into muscle cars. Her knowledge of hockey has totally upped her level of hotness as far as I’m concerned.

Christ…

I seriously couldn’t want her more.

Unfortunately, every time I try inching a little bit closer, she throws up more road blocks.  A few days ago I’d thought that maybe I was making some headway.  Especially after I cajoled her into grabbing dinner.  Guess not.  Because tonight she totally froze up on me. 

I don’t know what to make of her.  I really don’t.  Feeling frustrated, I run a hand through my hair.  I seriously can’t wrap my mind around this girl.  Hell, she wouldn’t have even told me her name if I hadn’t run into her at the tutoring center.

Which brings me to how damn smart she is.

And yeah, that is such a fucking turn on that I’d sat there during our tutoring session sporting a rather uncomfortable boner while she explained whatever the hell it was she’d taken her time to reteach me.  And you know what?  Her explanation had actually made more sense than the damn professor’s.

Taking another long swallow of beer, I stare across the table we have all to ourselves in the back corner of a college dive bar.  The owner always reserves about five or six tables on game nights for the team.  This is a tradition of ours and what I’ve learned from hockey is that you don’t mess with tradition. 
Ever.

Squinting, I watch Cassidy’s roommate who is still wiggling away on Austin’s lap.  The pair of them look just about ready to put on some sort of live X-rated show right in front of me.  What’s her name again?  Beth?  Brenda?  Brin?  Hell, if I can remember.

But I lean towards her anyway.  Because here’s someone who can fill in some of the blanks for me.  Now I just have to get Austin to stop sucking her face long enough to pry some answers out of her.  “Hey, Beth,” I pause waiting until she looks my way.  “What’s the deal with your roommate?”

Slowly she turns her face and Austin cooperates by licking and kissing her neck while we start conversing.  Can’t say the guy doesn’t always have my back.

“It’s Brooklyn,” she corrects with a breathy little sigh, her eyes at half-mast.

“Oh, right.  Sorry… Brooklyn.”  At this point I can’t see any reason not to delve right in before she loses focus.  “So what’s up with Cassidy?”

Her eyelids feather shut as Austin nibbles away at her earlobe.  “Ummm, what do you mean?”

Jesus Christ?  Do I seriously need to spell it out for this girl?  I want details.  And lots of them.  Anything.  Everything.  I just want to understand her a little bit more and if I wait around for Cassidy to open up, I’ll be waiting forever.

She’s like sand.  Already I can feel her slipping through my fingers.  Which is starting to make me feel desperate.  And I’ll be honest, desperate isn’t my usual style.

Most important question.  “Is she seeing anyone right now?”

Her roommate starts giggling as if that’s the funniest thing she’s ever heard.  Or maybe Austin has just found a tickle spot.  Jeez, this is like pulling teeth.  I need this girl to concentrate for five effing minutes.  “No,” she says when her laughter finally dies away, “Cassidy doesn’t date.”

Hmmm.  She said that to me as well.  Honestly?  I’d thought she’d been blowing smoke up my ass.  I mean, come on, the girl is scorching hot.  She has a gorgeous face and a really nice curvy body.  She’s super smart and quick witted.  She’s the total package.

So what’s her deal?

Why isn’t she dating anyone?

Breaking into my pensive thoughts, she adds, “She’s really focused on school right now.”

Leaning across the table, I motion with my hand for her to continue talking.  “What else can you tell me?”  Like I said before- actually pulling someone’s teeth out would be easier than this.

“Ummm,” Brooklyn’s eyelids fall again as Austin continues rather attentively nibbling away at her neck.  She tilts her head to the side allowing him even greater access.

I almost roll my eyes.  “Ah ha,” I prompt.  Jeez, just spit it out.  I need something here.  So far she hadn’t told me anything I didn’t already know.

“There’s not much to tell.”

I frown wondering why this girl is being so unhelpful.  Is she purposely being evasive?  I’m starting to suspect that maybe she is.  Which is completely annoying.

Finally she opens her large green eyes before pinning me with them.  She doesn’t look nearly as wasted as I first suspected.  “Why are you asking?”  Actually, now she looks kind of like a mama bear set on protecting her cub.

Leaning back in my seat, I don’t say anything for a moment as I take another long pull from my beer.  I’m thinking it’s a little late to try playing it cool but what the hell.  “Just curious, that’s all.”  Yeah, it’s so much more than that.  I wasn’t kidding when I admitted to being kinda sorta obsessed with her…  This is so not a proud moment for me.

Brooklyn bites down on her lower lip before finally confessing, “Cassidy wouldn’t like it if she knew you were asking questions.”

Before I can stop myself from nose diving into pathetic, the words are flying out of my mouth.   “Has she mentioned me at all?”  Restlessly I shift in my seat waiting for her to answer.

Brooklyn squints real hard in my direction before asking, “What’s your name again?”

Ouch.  Well, I guess that pretty much answers the question, now doesn’t it?  Austin, that asshole, vibrates with laughter.  “Cole Mathews.”

“Nope.”  She shakes her head before twisting the proverbial knife in my heart.  “She hasn’t mentioned you at all.”  Then she giggles.  Apparently Austin has found that ticklish spot again.  “Don’t feel bad, she doesn’t ever talk about guys.  Even if she liked one, she probably wouldn’t say anything about it.  That’s just Cassidy.”

“Don’t feel bad, she says…” I grumble the words to myself before taking another gulp of beer.  Yeah, easier said than done.  Make that two huge gulps of beer.

I don’t realize that I’ve become tangled up in my own thoughts until a silky little hand trails its way across my chest.  Glancing up, my eyes collide with smoky colored ones.  Mandi.  She’s one of those girls who shows up all the hockey games and hangs around with the team when they party, pretty much hopping from one player to another.  There are a number of guys on the team who greatly enjoy the benefits of puck bunnies.  I’m just not one of them.  And because I always say no, they seem to find that something of a challenge. 

“Hi, Cole.” She smiles, her red painted nails still stroking lightly over my chest.

My eyes slide from the top of her sleek auburn bob to the tips of her ridiculously high heeled shoes.  And, because I’m a guy, I can’t help but notice exactly what’s in between- which is an incredibly low cut top that emphasizes her straining breasts and a shorter than short skirt that barely covers her ass all the while showcasing really long toned legs.  It’s not that this girl isn’t great to look at… because she totally has it going on.  But there’s just something about knowing that she has absolutely no problem fucking you as well as all your teammates.