Silent Scars (Surviving #4) (14 page)

“I would rather you be there than anyone else. That isn’t my problem. My issue is that Louise is...well...she’s terrifying.”

“What?”

I chuckled. “She is this tiny little general who will kick my ass for saying this, but if she wants you there, nobody will stand in her way. And I certainly daren’t say no after yesterday.”

“She isn’t that bad. I think you’re being a little dramatic. I thought she seemed nice, under the circumstances.”

“She’s great. But the women Will, Jo and I grew up with were so different. She isn’t a whiney bi – person for a start, whose life goal was to land a rich husband.”

“I’ve met plenty of those at Dad’s functions. Strangely, that’s the kind of wife my ex
wanted.
Someone to be pretty and not think. He hated me working at the library. Apparently it’s beneath
our class.
Pff, class indeed.”

I grinned at the disgust in her voice.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll get along with Lou just fine.”

“Why me? I mean why insist you bring me along?”

“Because she thinks she’s being smart. She’s trying to match make – us two.” I turned to look at Aloura and pointed my finger between us. Her cheeks bloomed with the sexiest blush. It radiated up her neck and over her creamy skin. I had never wanted to reach over and kiss someone as much as I wanted to feel her lips against mine. Press my tongue against her flushed neck and see if it was as hot as the colour.

“She...she wants us to
date?”
she choked.

“I know ridiculous, right.”

“Good God, my last boyfriend was a bank manager. His idea of foreplay was telling me about the rising interest rates on my savings.”

I snorted.

“No, it was horrible. We
once
went out for dinner, and he almost had a heart attack because we couldn’t split the check evenly. So I ended up paying the bill, just to shut him up.”

“What a gentleman,” I scoffed, feeling pissed at the douche for being such a dick.

“Yeah well, someone like me can’t be entirely too choosy.”

“What do you mean ‘someone like me’?”

She rolled her eyes before pushing her glasses up her nose. She twisted her hands in her lap and lifted her slender legs onto the seat to cross them. Too fucking cute for words.

“I know I’m not ‘hot.’” She lifted her hands and made air quotes with her fingers. I couldn’t help but grin at her. “I suppose I'm pretty-ish. Or at least I'm not a total minger. I dance and run most days, so I know my legs are in good shape.”

My eyes immediately went her sexy as fuck – wrap them around my waist while I –

“I’m from a rich family. But...”

“But what?” I pulled the car over in front of Jo’s driveway but didn’t kill the ignition.

“I’m awkward as hell. I would rather read a book than attend a party. I love my dog more than any boyfriend I’ve ever had. Harry is the closest thing I have to a best friend and confidant. I like my alone time. I like the quiet. But I think I’ve secluded myself so much that I have no idea how to behave in social situations. I worry about sounding stupid and boring.”

I placed my hand over hers in her lap. Both of us froze; I’m not sure if she felt the crackle of electricity zapping between us. But my fingers burned against her skin. The hairs on my arms stood to attention. When her fingers curled around mine and completely covered my hand, I was sure I stopped breathing. My ears buzzed with the sound of my pulse racing in my ears.

“Anyone who has the pleasure of spending anytime with you, Aloura, should honour it as a gift.”

“Why do you say that?” Her big brown eyes captivated me. And no matter how I tried, there was no lying in that moment. I had fought my entire life to escape, to be free without bonds. But if she wanted to hold me down, keep me her captive, I would be her willing slave. Years I had avoided intimacy, and a few days with her and I was willing to try anything.

“Because when you look at me, Aloura, I don’t feel so broken. I feel like a man. I feel free, and I’m slowly becoming addicted to you.”

She sucked in a breath; her eyes turned a watery chocolate. And I felt like a tool for making her cry.

“Wow,” she breathed. “You are a potent mix of beauty and poetry, Mr Senior.”

Had I mentioned it turned me on when she called me by
that
surname?

“Aloura.”

“It’s okay…”

Her words died on a startled gasp when I cupped her face. My hands shook against her soft skin. Her bright red lips parted. And part of my body begged me to have a taste. Against my will, I leaned towards her. Aloura’s eyelids fluttered closed, but I couldn’t kiss her. I didn’t own that right. I pressed my forehead against hers and felt her breath shudder against my mouth. “Beauty on the outside only hides the ugly darkness inside of me. It’s a curse, Aloura, because when you look at me that way, it gives me hope that I deserve someone like you. You have no idea what your smile does to a man, what it’s like to have a second of your attention. I grieve every time because I know you can never belong to me.”

“What if I don’t want to belong to you?” Her words stabbed straight through my crumbling armour. It was staggering how much I wanted her to
want
to be at my side.

She inched forward. So close I could almost taste her. The ghost of her lips against mine. “I don’t want to be someone’s possession, Ryan. Belongings can be expendable, thrown away when they are old and dirty. I want to be a part of you. I want to wake up each morning with a feeling of completeness because I know you’re near. I want your soul to greet mine. Show me all of you. Give me your pain, and I will give you my joy.”

“It’s not possible. I would never do that to you. Taking you into the dark is the last thing I would ever do.”

“But what if I brought you out into the light? Give me a chance to do that, allow me that at least.”

I sucked in a breath, desperate to fall to my knees and beg her to stay by my side. To do precisely what she was offering, but there was no way I could be that selfish.

“I don’t know how to do that, Aloura. I like things the way they are.” Jesus, did that lie scorch my throat as it escaped. I couldn’t be in this space with her any longer. Not without pulling her into my lap and surrendering to that deep-seated longing in my chest. I pushed open the door and jumped out of the car.

I opened the door and called out that we were here, really freaking loudly. There was no way I wanted a repeat of yesterday. Quick footsteps sounded above my head before my little guy ran down the stairs. My heart lurched at the speed the small dude was running. I held out my arms to catch him, but he stopped five steps from the bottom.

“Do the man thing,” he demanded, holding out his chubby fist. I schooled my features so he wouldn’t see I wanted to laugh. Holding my hand out to his, we locked palms, wrapping our thumbs, and he leaned forward to bump his chest against mine. The dude was too cute. He pulled back and grinned.

“Can I have a proper hug now, big man?”

“You is such a wimp, Uncle Ry.” He launched himself into my arms and squeezed me tightly, his small legs precariously close to catching my balls mid-swing. I loved this kid with every breath in my body.

“Not wimpy to want a hug, dude.”

“Who that Uncle Ry?” he whispered, staring over my shoulder. I turned with him in my arms.

“This is Aloura.” I glanced at my nephew and saw his lashes flutter as he blinked in a slight trance.
Yeah, bud, I get that feeling a few times a day.

“Put me down,” he whispered and wriggled like a giddy little pup. I placed the kid on the floor. He patted his clothing down and ran his hand over his hair. I stood motionless as he headed over to Aloura, developing a swagger as he approached her. She watched him with a bright, breathtaking smile on her face.

“Hey,” she said, looking down at him.

Alfie leaned against the wall, one hand on his hip, and bobbed his head. “Hey. I like your shoes. What’s your name?”

Aloura released the most adorable giggle. “Aloura and who might you be?” My dick twitched at her refined voice. The roll of her name made me immediately think of her tongue doing wicked things. Illicit things my nephew should not be around to see.

“I’m Alfie. Is he your boyfriend?” He pointed his thumb over his shoulder without looking in my direction. Aloura glanced at me, her cheeks heated before she shook her head. The kid couldn’t pronounce his Ls and sounded so fricking cute.

“You wanna play on my swing?”

“Sure.” She smiled brightly again, and my chest tightened.

He slid his hand into hers and pulled her down the hallway. My
nephew
winked at me as they passed by.

“Bye.” Aloura giggled. Jo and Lou stood in the doorway to the lounge. Jo watched his kid with pride, and Lou’s gaze was stuck on me.

“Your son just hustled my girl.”

“Kid’s got the moves, just like his old man,” Jo said, earning a slap to the back of the head from Lou.

“You’re such a douche,” I said laughing at Jo as he rubbed the back of his head.

“And, Ryan, sweetheart,” Lou said, stepping up to me. I ducked so she could give me her usual greeting of a swift hug and peck on the cheek. “Don’t think for one second I didn’t hear the ‘
my girl
’ comment. I am so going to grill you on that later,” she teased and walked away.

I glanced at Jo, who shook his head. “You will never learn, bro.”

“Why the hell did you have to fall for the scariest woman in Britain?”

“Please, you’re just jealous.”

I laughed and patted him on the back. “Too right, I am.”

“Aloura is pretty hot.”

“I heard that,” called Lou.

“Bat ears,” Jo muttered, heading into the kitchen. “You know you’re the only one for me, my sexy little walrus.” He swatted her ass, making her squeal. He had acquired ninja moves too because he was lightening quick when she turned to swat him with the spatula in her hand.

“So Ryan, dearest brother– your sexy woman out there has you hot under the collar, does she?” Lou smirked at me, licking the chocolate from the spatula. I glanced at Jo to make sure it wasn’t just me finding that sexy as hell. The heat in his eyes said it wasn’t.

“She isn’t
my
woman.”

“I beg to differ.”

My shoulders jerked, and I stepped to the side as another mouthy little pixie entered the mix. Jesus, I wanted to cover my balls just to keep those fuckers safe. Emily waddled over to Lou and stuck her finger in the chocolate mixture before licking it clean.

Seriously?

“Hey babe,” Em, said, kissing Lou on the cheek. “Had I not been pregnant with these two giants, I can guarantee I would have been knocked up in minutes after that sexy little exhibit out there in the car.”

I jumped when Will’s meaty hand landed on my shoulder. I glared at the smug fucker.

“Ooh, do tell,” Lou said but kept her eyes on me. I schooled my expression. But Christ, terrorists had nothing on this woman for scaring the shit out of me.

“The steamy make out session.”

“We weren’t making out.” I crumbled.

“They were too. He had his hands.”Em grabbed Lou, cupping her face as I had Aloura. And she moved in close. Way, way close. Emily’s pregnant balloon was the only thing separating them. Will and Jo leaned forward as their women looked ready to lock lips. Lou slid her hands around Emily’s waist, Her arms stretched because of the big roundness in the front.

“He leaned forward,” Emily said in a low husky voice and pressed her forehead against Lou and the women were seconds away from locking lips.

“I swear we didn’t kiss,” I said loudly. Emily pulled away with a huge grin on her pretty face. Jo and Will groaned and turned to face me.

“Ignore him,” Jo growled. “Continue. Will, shut the fucker up.”

Will placed his hand over my mouth roughly.

Emily and Lou laughed.

My brothers fixed angry glares on me. I batted Will’s hand away.

“But we didn’t kiss,” I protested again. I was beginning to sound like a bratty kid.

“Fucker!” Will muttered, shaking his head.

“You could have corrected them
after,”
Jo insisted. Holding his hands out at his sides before letting them drop against his sides with a slap. “Just because you got lucky in the car.”

“We didn’t kiss!” I all but growled.

“But you wanted to?” Em beamed.

“I... “

“You looked pretty hot and heavy to me,” Em added.

“It wasn’t like that.”

“But you want it to be,” Lou stated.

“He’s blushing, clearly he does,” Em goaded. I was being tag teamed by a fucking pixie and a hobbit.

“No.”

“So you don’t find her attractive?” Lou asked, grinning.

“Well, yes.”

“So you want to jump her and have her ride the Ryan express to orgasm-ville”