SHIFT (Mackenzie Grey #1) (20 page)

“What the hell is going on?” he ordered and I couldn’t answer much less see his expression. I was laughing so hard my eyes were squinted into slits and filled with tears, blurring my vision. There was a tightness in my chest and I thought I was going to have an asthma attack. Me? Adopted? I must have been getting punk’d because there was no way. Ollie and I looked a lot alike, like siblings.

“I told her the truth about herself. She’s adopted,” Charles said and it only made me laugh harder.

“How do you know that?” Sebastian asked and I hadn’t even heard him enter the room. Either way, I wasn’t in the right set of mind. Was everyone spying on my conversation with Charles?

“From the blood samples you provided me two weeks ago. They don’t match her families. And if I put them against who I think are her parents, I bet we’ll get a match.”

That sobered me up.

“What blood samples?” I jerked to a stop looking at the three men in the room and landing on the two who I had started to trust.

“While you were sedated we took some of your blood to run tests. We needed to know who you were,” Sebastian answered with a straight face as if he hadn’t invaded my privacy.

“And you didn’t think to ask me, much less tell me what you did?” I yelled, wide eyed.

“Ms. Grey, what’s done is done. No sense crying over spilled milk,” Charles answered.

“I don’t give a damn what you think,” I gritted through my teeth. “My parents are Thomas and Joyce Grey and that’s final. Are we done here?”

Charles nodded.

“Good. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be with Blu,” I said and hauled ass from the room, not even glancing at the two people who had betrayed me.

I jumped off the porch and inhaled some much needed fresh air. I stood in front of the house and had no idea where to start looking for Blu. The grounds were massive, she could be anywhere. I listened for voices and headed in the nearest direction. It would have been great to ask someone for directions, but unfortunately the first person I ran into was V—my arch nemesis.

“I’m not in the mood, Vivian,” I said as I tried to go around her. No luck. Her minions stood in my way.

“Where are you off to in such a hurry? Why don’t you shift with us tonight?” she giggled to her cohorts, keeping me out of whatever joke she’d just made.

“Oh, I would love to but I’ll be shifting with Sebastian and Jonah tonight, and the next two nights for that matter. I can’t wait,” I said with just enough sarcasm to make her squirm. I pushed past her gaggle of friends but stopped when I heard her speak.

“You might think you’ve won them over, but you haven’t. Don’t get too cocky, Mackenzie Grey. You’re a nobody and soon everyone will realize it too.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m heartbroken,” I chucked over my shoulder and went further into the woods. I wasn’t going to lose sleep over the werewolf version of Diana Stone. She was the least of my problems.

It took me a while to find Blu in the sea of wolves milling around the grounds. The estate was huge and there were tons of people—way more than at the warehouse—celebrating the full moon. Some of them barely spared me a look, others I think recognized me and nodded my way. The animosity I once felt from the Brooklyn Pack was gone. I was now accepted.

Once I found Blu, I stored Charles’ claims into the back of my mind and tried to forget. It was nonsense. Blu was with a group of Lunas and a couple of male wolves. They were huddled around a campfire with a few tents behind them. She introduced me to the group but I completely forgot their names. What I had hoped to forget, I couldn’t. I barely paid attention to the conversation. I smiled when I needed to and laughed on cue, but nothing was natural. Why would Charles say I was adopted? What an asshole.

I contemplated texting or calling Amy to tell her what had happened but there wasn’t any service on the grounds. The disconnection should have freaked me out, they could be planning on sacrificing me or some crap, but I had too much on my mind.

“Kenz?”

I turned around to find Jonah in a pair of khaki shorts and barefoot. I tried to look anywhere but his chest, and I couldn’t.

“Yeah?” I said breathless. There were tons of male wolves walking around here shirtless but they weren’t Jonah.

“Let’s go for a walk.”

I hesitated for a moment but I couldn’t ignore him forever. Eventually I had to meet him and Sebastian tonight for my first full Change outside of the cage. That was another thing I was nervous about. I got up from the log and followed Jonah deep into the woods and away from people.

“I want to apologize for my father. He doesn’t always have tact, I guess that’s where Jackson gets it from. He shouldn’t have ambushed you that way and on a full moon. It was wrong.”

“Whatever.”

He came to an abrupt stop and turned me toward him. “Don’t do that, Mackenzie. Don’t shut me out.”

I chuckled. “Jesus, Jonah, don’t shut you out? It’s not as if we were best friends or some shit, relax.”

“You’re right. We weren’t best friends, I’m not Amy—I’m more than that whether you want to admit it or not. We might have only known each other for a couple weeks, but that’s all I need, to know how I feel about you. That’s enough for me. And if you’re not ready, that’s fine, I’ll wait. But we are destined to be together, I know it.”

His brown eyes bore into me and for a moment, I felt bare and vulnerable—but just for a moment. I didn’t know what I felt. I never even imagined life without James. So much had happened after our break-up that I never really thought about life after him.

“Jonah,” I started and he shook his head.

“Don’t answer me. I don’t want a response right now, not until you’ve had enough time to think about it.”

I nodded and he started to walk again as if nothing had happened. I stumbled over myself trying to keep up.

“Where are we going?” I asked as I hopped over some broken branches.

“To our campsite for the next three nights.”

“What? Why? I thought we were going to shift near the rest of the Pack?” thoughts of being butchered and killed in the middle of the woods ran through my mind.

“Are you crazy, Kenz? You’ve never shifted around other wolves, you’ll go berserk. We need an isolated area and Bash and I can handle you just as well,” he said as we came out to an opening where a tent and some firewood were already stacked.

“Where’s Bash?”

“He’ll be here soon. He’s still doing some damage control with my father. He wasn’t too—uh—happy about the way things went down earlier,” Jonah said. “Help me set the tent up.”

I grabbed the poles and started attaching and passing it to Jonah so he could slide the tarp in. Once we finished, we walked around the area and collected more wood to start a campfire. We talked about mundane things and it was nice—we worked well together. Jonah was a jokester so he would give me a friendly shove or tug at my hair, and I’d kick his tush. Even with his declaration, things weren’t awkward. Maybe he was right.

My ears perked up as we’d just sat down when we heard footsteps about half a mile away.

“Don’t just use your hearing, smell who’s nearby,” Jonah suggested and I closed my eyes and took a big whiff. I could smell the woods, the residue of post rain on the soil and leaves, but I also got a hint of burnt wood and musk oil.

“It’s Sebastian.”

“Correct,” he said and we waited for Bash to make it to our clearing.

In a pair of low hanging, and worn out Levi’s, a barefoot Sebastian came into view. I licked my dry lips and my jaw was at the brink of dropping. What was wrong with these werewolves and the need to always be shirtless?

“You might not be Pack, Mackenzie, but common courtesy is universal,” Sebastian said and I quirked an eyebrow.

“Excuse me?” There was only so much I was going to put up with before I exploded. Plus it was a full moon, my patience was already short.

“With Charles, Mackenzie. Don’t act as if…never mind, it’s getting dark.”

Oh hell no. “As if what? As if he didn’t drop a major bomb on me? You’re damn right I acted without common courtesy. He wasn’t so gentle about it either!”

“All you needed to do was hear him out, Mackenzie. It was about your life.”

“Are you serious? Look at my face! I got a goddamn planet growing on my forehead and it’s from all the stress of this damn Pack. Look at this monstrosity!” I said as I pointed at the pimple that had started to take over my face.

“Kenz, relax.”

“No, I’m not going to relax! Listen, I don’t know what made me get involved with the kidnappings and the werewolf politics, but the stress from it all is doing a number on me and now you want me to go further down the rabbit hole with this whole adoption theory? No, fuck that.”

“Decisions don’t need to be made right away, we can talk more level headed after the third night, yeah?” Jonah tried to mediate but I was burning holes into Sebastian’s perfectly sculpted chest.

“You people are giving me an ulcer,” I mumbled as I went into one of the tents we’d set up.

I hid in our tent for as long as I could but eventually Jonah had to come in and knock some sense into me. It was almost time for the full moon and I could feel my wolf getting restless. She stirred in anticipation and I knew she couldn’t wait to get out and run free for the first time.

“It’s time, Kenz. I know my father and Sebastian can be intense at times but they mean well. Just give this situation some time, okay?”

I sighed. “Can I ask you a question, Jonah?”

“What’s up?”

“How do you stay calm all the time? Shouldn’t the wolf be out of control around this time of the month?”

He chuckled. “Kenz, there’s a lot you need to learn about what we are. And it’ll all come with time. You’re still very new at it and you still need to go on a Vision Quest. Once you do that, many of your questions will be answered.”

I nodded and followed him out into the dark woods. It was later than I thought and the night was quiet and still, except for the sound of rustling trees and paws hitting the damp earth. Two sets of glowing eyes stared at me and I felt my insides tighten up like a rope. I gulped loudly and fidgeted with my hands. Shit. It was time to shift.

“Take off your clothes,” Sebastian said and my head popped up like a groundhog. I should have expected this sooner, I completely forgot about the technicalities of the Change, but unless I wanted to shred my clothing, I had no other choice.

“C-can you guys turn around?” I stuttered and I wanted to slap myself.

“We don’t have all day. Get on with it.”

Sebastian and Jonah crossed their arms over their chest and I expelled a breath in defeat. If I was going to shift with the pack for the next three full moons, I might as well get used to it.

I gripped the hem of my sweater firmly and slowly pulled it over my head. Dropping it on the ground without a thought of possibly dirtying it. In a plain black bra, I stood there with nerves that were eating my insides like Thanksgiving dinner. Even though I wasn’t cold, a shiver went through me and I gulped it down. My fingers traced the button on my jeans and I felt like every sound was audible from a mile away. I could hear the pop and zip so loudly, it consumed the sound of my racing heart. I shimmied out of them and when I stood back up, the boys weren’t paying me much attention anymore. They’d started to undo their own jeans and I felt flushed. This was normal for them—but not for me. In my black bra and panties, I’d never felt as vulnerable as I did now.

“Mackenzie,” it was Jonah, “don’t overthink it. It’s no big deal.”

Without meeting his warm chocolate eyes, I finished taking off my undergarments—waiting for further instruction.

“She’ll be coming out soon. Don’t fight her. Don’t fight the pain.”

I nodded and anticipated the first pinch of pain as if I were getting a flu shot. My sweaty palms rubbed against my skin and I gripped my thighs as soon as I felt the first snap of my shoulders, doubling me over—a scream ripping out of my mouth.

“It will hurt, Mackenzie. But welcome the pain, don’t give in to it.” Blue eyes bore into me and I steadied my breathing. I could do this.

I shut my eyes, breathing in through my nose, out through my mouth, and I closed myself off from the outside world.

Let’s do this together.

It was like having an out of body experience. I could see her. See me. We were beautiful. A coat of silk black and silver eyes that leaned toward white. I kneeled in front of her and hesitantly reached a hand out to her. She didn’t move or flinch.

I’ve never seen you before.

I said breathlessly as I ran my hand behind her ear and stroked. She didn’t move.

It’s a full moon and our first night out of the cage. Can we work together?

I didn’t know why I was asking her. It wasn’t as if she could answer me. But I sort of knew the answers to my own questions. I knew what she wanted. She didn’t want to join the Pack, she wanted to stay free.

I can keep us free. I can keep us safe.

She leaned into my hand and gave me permission. It was a done deal. I shut my eyes and let out a howl up to the moon. Once I opened my eyes, everything was different. I was no longer with the wolf. I
was
the wolf. I sat in front of two very human and naked, Sebastian and Jonah. They watched me with calculation and awe. Just as I’d seen myself.

Jonah was the first to kneel before me. “You’re an amazing creature, Mackenzie Grey. You’re stunning.” For once, I was glad I couldn’t respond. I didn’t know what to say, mainly because of the adoration he was giving me—a look of love. He stood and backed away, giving Sebastian the opportunity to come forward. He didn’t kneel, he just stood before me, forcing me to look up to him. He didn’t say a thing, he just watched me. His chest rose up and down at a faster than normal rate. His blue eyes glowed and his hands fisted into balls at his side.

He turned back to Jonah without saying a word and they nodded to each other at an unspoken question. And then I witnessed the most amazing thing in the world—they shifted.

Sebastian and Jonah fell on all fours and I watched as their bones broke and reshaped in unnatural ways, and they didn’t say a word. They didn’t scream or cry for help. They looked peaceful. But one thing never changed—their eyes—sapphire and gold.

Sebastian’s fur was like slate, almost grey but too dark, while Jonah was a golden honey brown with highlights here and there. Bash came up to me in all his alpha glory and nudged me behind the ear—almost like a caress. My coat bristled from the sensation. Jonah walked over to my other side and it was the definition of how I felt: caught between the Alpha and Beta, between Sebastian and Jonah—and I couldn’t choose—not even now. I howled once more and they both took a step back and ran toward the wood line. This was it. This was the moment I’d been anticipating since I met the Brooklyn Pack. The moment to finally run free—for the first and last time.

For the past three nights on the estate, I’d felt things I’d never dreamed of since I found out what I was four years ago. I not only connected with my inner wolf, but I connected with the earth and world around me. And my wolf—well she felt like home—I understood her. If there was one thing I was grateful for of the Brooklyn Pack, it would be the chance of experiencing these three full moons. It was breathtaking.

I laid on the ground, on top of damp soil, rocks, and broken twigs—with leaves in my hair, sporting my birthday suit. I stretched and inhaled the clean crisp air. It was the third morning I’d woken up like this and I was going to miss it. I now understood the negative side of caging the animal. I looked at either side of me and found Jonah on my right, and Sebastian on my left. They were both sprawled out naked and passed out asleep. Disheveled and dirty just like me. These three days didn’t cure me of my modesty but I did feel more connected to them and I was glad they’d befriended me—but it was time for me to go. I got up, shook out my sore bones and looked down at the two who had captured my heart in such a short period of time. I felt the heat creep its way up my neck as I took in Sebastian and Jonah—they were perfect—not a flaw in sight. Unfortunately, I couldn’t stay and marvel them—good things didn’t last forever.

I tracked our paw prints and sniffed out where our campsite was and went in our tent. I grabbed my duffle bag and quickly put on the extra set of clothes I’d brought. Slipping on my worn out pair of black and white converses, I started my trek back to the Estate.

The grounds were quiet as everyone was resting after the three days we’d just had. I should have been too—I was exhausted—but I had a plan to follow through. The driveway from the entrance of the estate to the mansion was a three mile walk. I entered the mansion and the door slammed shut behind me, making me jump.

“Smooth, Mackenzie,” I mumbled to myself.

“Not really. I think you woke the neighbors,” Jackson said from the top of the staircase. Shit.

“What are you doing up?” I asked, trying to keep my nerves at bay.

“I’m not strong enough yet to shift, but I should be asking you the same question.”

“I need a, uh…shower. I reek.”

“While I don’t disagree there, I don’t believe you either. So why don’t we just skip all the excuses and dancing around the subject and you just tell me the truth—you’re leaving,” he said as he finally came down the stairs and stood just a few feet away from me.

“How did you know?”

He chuckled. “Mackenzie, you’re so predictable, I’m surprised no one else figured it out. You’re not cut out for the Pack—”

“Hey!”

“And I don’t mean it as an insult.” He leaned against the rail. “I’ll deny it if anyone asks. You’re not meant to be a Luna, you’re meant for greater things. Regrettably, the Lycan world hasn’t caught up with modern times, hopefully someday we will but it’s just not now. You need freedom, so you should seek it.”

I watched Jackson with wide eyes and a dry mouth. I looked around the foyer waiting for Pack members to just jump out and yell “sike” and then capture me—but nothing.

“What have you done with Jackson Cadwell?” I said and he laughed.

“Listen, kid, do you have a plan of action or are you just winging it?”

“I have a plan.”

“Good. Then you should start heading out before everyone starts to wake up.”

“Okay,” I said as I started to turn toward the doors but I stopped. “Jackson?”

“I’ll look after Amy, don’t worry. I won’t let anything happen to her.”

I smiled. Things would be okay.

Little Falls, New York might seem like a small town on a map, but boy was it a hike to the bus station. It was ten in the morning and I had already ditched my phone on my bus transfer in Philadelphia. I opened the manila envelope I received in the mail and took out the rest of its contents. New passport, an LA driver’s license, a burn phone, a key, and a letter—from Lucian.

My dear Mackenzie Grey,

I hope this letter finds you well and you’ve accepted my help. Inside you will find the documents needed to travel, including a new identity and your bus tickets. Once you arrive in Los Angeles, they can no longer lay a finger on you, but for this to happen, you will need to get rid of your cell phone so you are not followed. I have arranged everything at your school so you can finish your last semester online. As for your internship, I have some connections in the LAPD if this is something you’d like to pursue. I also spoke with Pete at Pete’s Bar (not a very pleasant fellow, I might add) and submitted your letter of resignation due to personal problems. I will have someone at the bus station waiting for you—you will know who he is when you see him—and he will be your tour guide once you arrive to the great city of Los Angeles. Please remember that you cannot have any communication with anyone from home for a very long time—including your human best friend, family and the Pack. You will now be public enemy number one, do not trust them even when you think you can.

I wish you the best of luck and we will talk soon. Take care, pet.

-Lucian

I read the letter three more times before tucking it away in my bag again. I felt crummy for leaving Amy the way I did, especially when she was excited to come with me but I just couldn’t do that to her. I couldn’t risk her life, not knowing what these vampires were capable of. She was safer with Jackson looking after her.

Things were going to change—I was going to change. I was getting the chance at a new life—a new me. It was time I took advantage of it. The enemy of my enemy was my friend. That was my mindset at the moment and I needed to adapt fast.

It was time for a
shift.