SHIFT (Mackenzie Grey #1) (15 page)

“Take a step back, rotate your right hand clockwise outward and pull your assailant. His grip will loosen and then do the combo I showed you. Right hook, left hook, and a knee to the nose. Got it?”

“Got it.”

We’d been working on some moves for at least two hours and I was beyond exhausted. My legs and arms were jelly.

“Come on, Mackenzie. Your attacker isn’t going to wait for you to catch your breath.”

“Yeah well, thankfully my assailant isn’t here yet and I can,” I said as I rolled my eyes.

“Don’t do that,” he barked.

I flinched.

“Don’t do what?”

“Roll your eyes,” he growled and it made me do it again. Who the hell did he think he was? Not even my parents acted that way.

“Mackenzie,” he sneered.

With renewed strength, I walked over to him, looked him dead in the eyes and started rolling them like an idiot, over and over again.

His growl got louder and I was making myself dizzy. His hand came up to my upper arm and he pulled me toward him like a defiant child. It startled me and a gasp escaped my lips.

“Hey!” I tried to pull away but his hold on me was strong.

“I told you to stop,” he gritted through his teeth.

I took a step back, rotated my left arm counterclockwise and pulled—just as he’d taught me. With a little extra power from the wolf, he tipped slightly forward and lost most of his grip on me. Instead of doing the combo, I pushed him off and took a couple steps back—away from him.

“And I think you’re getting a little abusive, so I suggest you tone that shit down,” I said with enough anger laced in my voice. I didn’t know how submissive Lunas were supposed to be, but I was not down with that shit. If I wanted to roll my goddamn eyes, I would. I might be obnoxious but it didn’t give him the right to put me in place. I was not part of the Pack.

His face softened just a smidge, but not enough for me to feel sorry for him. “I didn’t mean to,” he said as he looked down at his hands.

“Yeah, well I think we’ve done enough for tonight.”

“No. We’re going to continue,” he said and started towards me.

“Sebastian I said enough!” I yelled and he stopped in his tracks just two feet away from me. “I don’t care if you’re the goddamn president of the United States, I said I’m done.” I turned around to go to the sofa I had laid on earlier, when he grabbed my upper arm again and twirled me around.

“What the fu—”

“I’m sorry,” he said and I swallowed my curse. “I didn’t mean to get rough. I have to remember that even though you’re a wolf, you’re more human than anything. And I’m not used to being disobeyed.”

“And I’m not part of your Pack either. You need to chill out, Bash.”

“I know,” he said gruffly. “Just bear with me…please?”

I narrowed my eyes at him so he knew I wasn’t easily persuaded, but deep down, I already knew I forgave him. Not that I’d forget how rough he was, definitely not, but I would be careful next time I wanted to rough up some feathers. I wouldn’t put up with it and it was best if he realized it early on.

I nodded and he released my arm. He reached around and slid his hand down my back; directing me toward the sofa. I sat down and he followed me, but he seemed odd sitting there. Sebastian’s frame swallowed the lounger we were on, like a parent sitting in one of their children’s play chairs for tea time. With his back a tight rod, he sat upright, his palms flat on his thighs.

“I need to know, Mackenzie,” he said without looking at me, “is there anything between you and Jonah?”

I sat stock still, holding my ragged breaths. I didn’t want to say yes or no. The only thing running through my mind was, how the hell did I get in a situation like this? I’d never been really pretty, but I wasn’t ugly either, at least I didn’t think so. My eyes were usually what attracted men, they were a rare and clear grey. And while I did get hit on from time to time, I usually had a permanent resting bitch face on that dissuaded anyone who was interested. But I’d never been put in the middle between two guys. Especially two guys who I was both equally attracted to. Jonah was soft, warm and safe. Whereas Sebastian was hard, callous and dangerous. You’d think this would be an easy decision, but it wasn’t.

It wasn’t fair of me to contemplate anything with Sebastian after leading Jonah on, because if I was honest, that’s what I did back in Cold Springs—unintentionally—but I did.

“Why?” I croaked, my throat going dry. I didn’t want to assume he was interested in me.

“Isn’t obvious, Mackenzie?” His voice was loud in the quietness of the library.

“You act like you hate me the majority of the time I’m around. So no, it’s not obvious.”

He scoffed and dragged his blue eyes my way. “I don’t hate you. You’re sometimes immature, but you are young.”

I rolled my eyes. “If I’m so immature, what’s your deal?”
The same question I asked Jonah.

He took a deep breath while I held mine. My stomach knotted as I waited for his response.

“I want you.”

My stomach lurched. This couldn’t be happening to me. The girl who never cared to have a boyfriend, and after James, I swore men off—but this, being between the two of them, made me forget who I was and always had been.

“That’s not possible, you’re with V,” I muttered in confusion.

“I’m not with her. She takes care of my needs and that’s the extent of our relationship,” he said with a straight face like this was normal.

“So she’s a booty call?”

“A what?”

“Never mind,” I rolled my eyes and slumped back on the sofa. “Bash, things are messed up right now. Jackson’s missing and I’m not part of the Pack. Let’s prioritize.”

“No.”

“What?”

“I am prioritizing. We cannot do anything about those problems at this precise moment, so it leads me to this. I want you and I need you to say yes.”

Why couldn’t I just say no? I searched the room as if the answer would be etched on the walnut walls. “You don’t know me, Bash.” It was true, he didn’t. He couldn’t want someone he knew nothing about, especially someone like me, an unknown variable within the Pack. They didn’t even know where I came from.

“I want to get to know you, but I won’t share you. I need you to be completely mine,” he growled and the hairs on my arm stood up.

As much of a feminist I thought I was, I should’ve been offended by his possessiveness—but I was not. Something inside me stirred and I felt it all the way down to my core. I didn’t understand.

“
Sebastian
,” I hummed and he reached over and pulled me on top of him. I straddled him and felt my eyes go unfocused—a glint of silver surrounded my vision.

His mouth slid from the crevice of my shoulder and neck and brushed up until his breath tickled behind my ear. My fingers dug into his pitch black locks and it was like running my hands through silk. His tongue rolled down my neck lightly and I closed my eyes.

I could feel a faraway voice screaming in my head,
what are you doing?!
But I ignored it.

With my chest flush against his, he bit my earlobe and growled, pushing my hips down on him. My eyes flicked wide open and I gasped.

“Say it. Say you’re mine,” he rasped in my ear.

“Sebastian,
please
,” I tried to speak but I couldn’t catch my breath.

“Say it,
now
,” he growled and a shiver went down my spine.

“N-no,” I said pushing away. With my hand firmly placed on his chest, he sat back and we were at arm’s length—with me still on top of him. I shook my head to clear it from the fog of sexual frustration that I was obviously going through. “Sebastian, this isn’t right. I can’t control her when I’m like this.”

“Don’t try to control her. Set her free,” he said as he tried to pull me to him again. He was strong, but my resolve was stronger. Jonah somewhat explained it to me, and this was my wolf’s doing. She wanted this—not that I necessarily didn’t want to—but I was more reserved.

“No,” I said firmly and he stopped moving. “I’m not like this.” I got off him and put a couple feet between us. My chest rose up and down fast and I held back tears from streaming down my face. I didn’t want to cry, and I wasn’t sad, but I was frustrated in more ways than one and I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to give in, I wanted to give the wolf what she craved, but I couldn’t. My human self wouldn’t let her.
God, I need to be locked up in an asylum.

“Your eyes tell me otherwise, Mackenzie. So what are you like?” He stood up from the sofa and he was like a panther stalking its prey as he strolled towards me. His blue eyes never left mine and I was very aware of every part of my flushed body. I could still feel where he had touched me and where he hadn’t—where I wanted him to. I shook my head.

“You’re not playing fair, Bash,” I stuttered and he smirked.

“I know.”

“Then stop.” He came to a halt a few inches away from me. His hand trailed through my hair as the curls fell on top of my breast. A shudder racked through me and I didn’t know how long I would be able to keep the wolf at bay.

“I won’t stop until I get what I want.”

So fast I didn’t even register it in time, he grabbed me and I unconsciously wrapped my legs around his waist—holding on to his shoulders. He held me as if I barely weighed a pound.

“I don’t know what it is about you, Mackenzie Grey, but I want you more than I care to be Alpha. You’re different—you’re a fighter—and that does something to me,” his deep voice whispered. With one hand, he reached for the buttons of my jeans. “I need to mark you as mine.”

The sound of my zipper echoed loudly in the room and my teeth chattered. I wanted it, but there was resistance. My humanity was fighting with my animalistic side and I felt like I was going crazy, too many emotions and sensations all at once were putting me into overdrive and I was going to combust. Just his touch would be my undoing.

My back touched the wall and once he started to slide my jeans over my ass—my body froze in fear.

“Stop,” I croaked. “Sebastian no, enough.”

He stopped.

“I can’t. It’s not right. Jonah and me…I don’t know but this isn’t right.”

My legs unwrapped and I slid down the wall, his body still pressed against mine.

“I asked you about Jonah,” he growled, but I didn’t care if he was pissed. I was having a hard time sorting through my emotions. “It’s a privilege to have an Alpha.”

“Dude, back off! I don’t give a shit what you are. I’m going through something and I think I need Jonah’s help…he helped me last time,” I said out of breath. With my hands on my knees, I tried to steady myself but I felt like the wolf would claw herself out of me.

Just breathe.

How could I want two guys at the same time? It shouldn’t be possible…

Just breathe.

“What’s wrong?” Sebastian barked and it made me jump. His tone had gone back to being serious but I knew it was because he was angry.

“I don’t know. I feel like she’s about to take over me, but she’s too strong, it’s suffocating.”

He grunted. “You need to let her out—”

“No!” I yelled. “Do
not
take advantage of me now,” I said through my teeth.

He tensed.

“If you can’t help me then give me some space, you arrogant bastard.”

His chilling blue eyes narrowed. “Get some rest, I’ll wake you in the morning, is that enough space?” he said as he turned around, walked to the door and slammed it shut. Leaving me alone and cold.

Just breathe.

What was going on?

My neck was stiff when I woke up the next morning. After much tossing and turning to the point of contemplating calling Jonah, I was finally able to fall asleep to calm my wolf down. Sebastian left me when he clearly saw that I needed help. Jonah wouldn’t have left me. Ugh, I shouldn’t be comparing the two of them. I should be trying to forget them. It’s only fair. Once all of this was said and done, I’d be gone. After the next full moon, I’d be leaving—I didn’t know where but it would be away from them and toward my freedom.

Sebastian barged into the room and knocked my feet off the sofa.

“Get up,” he commanded. I opened one eye and starred at him incredulously.

He loomed over me and I felt a pinch of fear. I had to remember how dangerous he really was—a natural predator—I couldn’t let any attraction with either of them get in the way, because sooner or later, they’d get what they want.

“What time is it?” I said with sleep in my voice.

“Six in the morning.”

I groaned. “Seriously? I just shut my eyes!”

“The library will be opening soon. We need to go and meet the others.”

I stared at him blankly. “It’s the day after Christmas, and Canadian Boxing Day…I doubt the library is going to open today.”

“Mackenzie, let’s go.”

Before I could respond, he was out of the room. I reached for my bag and dug for my phone. I had shut it off last night to conserve battery but it didn’t do much—it blinked alive at thirty-two percent.