Shadow of Perception (36 page)

“Eden,” he said, then caught his breath as she lightly grasped him. “I…want this to be about you.”

Stroking his penis, she stood and snared him with her probing gaze. “What if I want this to be about you? What if I want to show you…” She trailed off, and looked away.

He cupped her chin, and forced her to look at him. “Show me what?” he asked, hoping she’d say the words. Eden, like him, had always kept her emotions in check. And as much as he wanted to tell her that he loved her, he hoped she’d say it first. After how things between them had ended two years ago, and how hard it had been for him to cope with that loss, he didn’t want to face another rejection. Especially at this moment, when they were both naked and…vulnerable.
 

She smiled, nothing seductive, but the warmth of that smile, how it reached her eyes, had him hardening by the second. “I…wanted to show you how much I love your body,” she said, and while still stroking his arousal with one hand, she caressed his scarred chest with the other.

Even when they used to date, he’d noticed her fascination with his scars. Laying his hand on hers, he helped her trace the scar that ran along his collar bone. “They’re ugly.”

Without looking at him, she moved their hands to the scar along the right side of his chest. “They’re not ugly. They’re a part of you.” She removed their hands, then kissed the scar. Her breath fanned along his skin as she said, “I love that you’ve never tried to hide them from me. Our scars, even the ones we can’t see, make us who we are. Until now, I feel like all we’ve ever done was hold back from each other.”

She raised her head. The tenderness in her eyes made him weak in the knees. Scarred, flawed, she cared about him. Her acceptance of him only deepened the love he felt for her.
 

He cupped her face, then brushed his lips along hers. “All I’ve ever wanted was to know you. Every part of you.”
 

Drawing her closer, he kissed her. He’d meant to go slow. Show her how much he cared about her. But the moment she parted her lips and swept her tongue along his, a potent combination of love and lust exploded inside of him. He claimed her mouth, rubbed his hands along her back, loving the soft texture of her skin, until he grasped her bottom.

He lifted her, forcing her to release his erection, and wrap her legs around his back. Still kissing him, she feathered her fingers through his hair and held his head. Holding him locked in place, she took over their kiss. She nipped and licked his lips, pressed open-mouthed kisses along his jaw, until she brought their mouths together. Their noses and teeth collided. She blistered his lips with a kiss so hot that he swore he was going to self-combust if he didn’t bury himself inside her heat.
                 

Setting her butt on the edge of the mattress, he broke their kiss, then brushed his mouth along her neck and chest until he reached one incredibly taut nipple. While sliding his hand between her thighs, he drew the hard tip into his mouth, and sucked. She held his head to her breast as he slipped two fingers inside of her. Warm, wet and inviting, he ached to feel her hug his length. Loving the way she writhed and moaned, the way her body reacted, he needed to taste her first.
 

After giving her other nipple attention, he kissed a path down her flat belly, then gripped her hips and swept his tongue along her plump sex. Still holding his head, she rocked her pelvis against his mouth, and spread her legs wider. Her body began to tremble. Her breathing quickened. Knowing the signs, knowing she neared orgasm, he pressed his fingers between her thighs again, and with fierce determination, began flicking his tongue along her clit.
 

Her inner muscles suddenly gripped his fingers. Arching her back, she released a husky, sexy moan.
 

Kissing a trail along her inner thighs, he worked his way up, over her soft belly, until he reached her breasts. He scraped his lips along one nipple, while grazing his palm along the other. Another shiver tore through her. Her breathing slightly labored, she half-chuckled, then ran her thumb along his lips.

“So good,” she said, then leaned forward and kissed him.

Before things became sexually out of control again, he grasped her hand, and bringing her with him, he stood. “How about that shower?” he asked, and rubbed his hands along her lower back and ass.

 
Without a word, she settled to her knees, and wrapped her hand around his cock. She looked at him. A wicked gleam heated her eyes as a small, sexy smile curved her lips. Then she took him in her mouth.

His breath caught as she sucked and licked him. When she grazed her nails along his balls, then followed with her tongue, it took everything in him to keep his knees locked and remain standing. Without inhibition, she gave him the purest pleasure. But if she didn’t stop, he would explode soon. He wasn’t about to allow that to happen without giving her one more orgasm, or missing the scorching sensation of burying himself between her sexy thighs. He’d fantasized about moments like this for two damn years. Now, he couldn’t imagine that fantasy not being a reality.

She’s leaving.

Even on the cusp of exploding in sheer ecstasy, the words filtered through his mind. He didn’t want her to go. Two years without her had been two too many. He’d only just rediscovered the woman he’d denied loving, and regretted, more than ever, not fighting for her. Regardless, when she walked away from him again, he’d make sure she knew how he felt. Right now wasn’t the time. Right now was about their pleasure. He didn’t want to think about the lack of their future, only the present. He wanted to think about coaxing another orgasm from her, and feeling her slick heat around his erection.

Touching her chin, he reluctantly eased her mouth from him. Holding his gaze, she gave the head of his penis one last kiss, then stood.

“How about that shower?” she asked, and ran her hand along his ass.

Instead of answering, he moved forward, crowding her until she fell back onto the mattress. The shower could wait. He wanted her now, and as many times possible, before she left him.
 

Rather than allow his mind to drift down that depressing road, he spread her thighs, and climbed onto the bed until they were chest to chest. Her nipples pressed against him as she wrapped her arms around his back. Gazes locked, he slid inside of her, then held himself still.

They were making memories, and these memories would be all that he’d have once she left him.
 

Running her fingers through his hair, she kissed his temple. He captured her lips, and rocked his hips. The slow friction, the feel of her soft, naked skin, the taste of her lips, aroused him beyond measure.
 

As their tongues tangled, and their kiss intensified, he rocked his hips. Faster. Harder.

Breaking away, she gasped, spread her legs wider, and dug her nails into his back. The pleasure/pain stimulated every nerve ending running through his body. Like a piston, he pumped his hips. She scraped her nails along his back, then cupped her breasts. Whispering his name, she pinched and tugged her nipples. Then she reached a hand down, and touched her clit.

The sight so damn sexy, he wanted to come, but not until she made it there first. Determined to pleasure her, he reached beneath her and grabbed her bottom. Massaging her ass, as she rubbed herself, he thrust.
 

“Hud, I…” She gasped, then gripped his bicep. Her entire body shook. Her sex clenched him, drew him deeper into her body. As she rode out her orgasm, he thrust once, twice, then exploded.
 

With a ragged breath, he gently rolled their bodies until she lay sprawled on top of him. His heart beating fast, he laid his hand along her hip, and released a sigh. He was in some serious trouble. He’d fallen in love with Eden all over again, and she would leave him by the end of the month. As much as he wanted to stop her, he wouldn’t try. He couldn’t ask her to give up her dream job to stay in Chicago.
 

While he’d been thinking about leaving CORE for a line of work that wouldn’t require worrying about someone shooting at him, he hadn’t made any plans to change careers yet. He liked working for CORE, the people there were solid, and his friends. He also enjoyed an excellent salary and benefits. And although he’d been considering moving, he’d planned on heading to the Burbs, not another major city. He wanted a house in a quiet neighborhood, a yard to mow, bushes to trim. He wanted normalcy.

As he stroked her hip and his heart rate slowed, he wondered if he should tell her what he’d been considering. Better yet, should he tell her he loved her? If he did tell her, and she decided to stay for him, what would happen if they broke up again?
 

Running her hands along his chest, she shifted her body, leaned in and gave him a lingering kiss. “I’m ready for that shower now.”

“Yeah, we kind of got a little distracted.”

“A little,” she said with a smile, then scooted off the bed, and headed for the bathroom.

Seconds later, he heard the spray from the shower beat against the tiles. Not about to miss an opportunity to continue to be naked with Eden, he climbed off the bed and followed her.

“No more fooling around,” she said with a wag of her finger. “I’m hungry.”

“You know what I’m hungry for?” he asked as he joined her in the shower.

“Let me guess, more of me?”

Pulling her close, so both of their bodies could enjoy the hot spray, he gave her butt a squeeze. “No. I already used that line this morning. But I’ll use it again if it’ll work.”
 

“That’ll depend on how well you wash my hair and body,” she said, then turned and rubbed her bottom against his thickening erection.

Thirty minutes later, his hands slightly shriveled from too much water exposure, he dressed, while Eden blew her hair dry. He wasn’t normally a fan of shower sex. There never seemed to be enough room in the stall to do as he pleased. But he was damn well pleased with the results this time around. If he wasn’t hungry, he would head into the bathroom, remove her towel, then bend her over the counter and sink himself deep inside her. Maybe later.
 

He glanced toward the bathroom just as Eden dropped the towel and began to slip on a hot pink thong.

Definitely later.
 

Although Rachel might have the files downloaded by then and they’d be stuck in front of a computer. Searching for any leads to help them identify the killer.

In the meantime, he could bring up her move to New York. Maybe he could tell her about how he’d like to eventually leave CORE, Chicago, and buy a home in the suburbs. He could also tell her how he felt about her. Was now a good time, though? Even if it was, he still wasn’t sure where to begin. He could just blurt out the words. Eden was used to his bluntness and probably wouldn’t expect anything less from him.
 

“Considering we’ve been having marathon sex,” Eden said as she stepped into the room. “I expected you to be either sleeping or smiling. Instead you look as if someone just died.” Her eyes widened. “Oh my God. What happened? Did you hear from Rachel? Did the police find Dr. Roth?”

He moved to her, then held her by her upper arms. “Nothing. No. And I don’t know.”

“What?”

“Nothing’s happened, I haven’t heard from Rachel, and I don’t know anything that you don’t about Roth.”

Frowning, she shook her head. “Then what’s wrong?”

He no longer had to worry about how to start the conversation about his feelings, her move, and his plans. She’d just given him an opening.
   

Cupping her cheeks, he said, “I’ve never owned a Weed Whacker.”

   
Chapter 20

Eden gave Hudson a quick kiss, then took his hand and led him out of the bedroom. “Hinting at what you’d like for Christmas?” she asked, amused by his random admission. “Subtlety never was your strong point. What would you weed whack anyway? The dead plants in your apartment?” As they entered the kitchen, her stomach grumbled. “I’m starved. How about you?”

He sat on the stool at the kitchen island. “I could eat. We missed breakfast and lunch. I know you gave me one of those stupid granola bars, but that doesn’t count as a meal unless you’re a squirrel.”

Grinning, she opened both doors of the side-by-side refrigerator. When she spotted frozen tuna steaks, she said, “After that last DVD…I’m kind of grossed out at the thought of eating anything with meat. You don’t happen to do fish, do you?”

“Maybe if its beer battered and deep fried, and there’s no actual fish involved.”

“Okay,” she chuckled. “No fish.”

 
“I could go for that omelet you were going to make this morning, unless you’re going totally vegan on me.”

She grabbed the carton of eggs. “Not quite. I couldn’t imagine life without bacon…well, except for today. This will be a veggie omelet.” After pulling a bowl from the cabinet, she cracked an egg. “Okay,” she began, curious about Hudson’s crazy urge to own a weed whacker. “So you want Santa to bring you a weed whacker. What else?”

“A lawn mower, snow blower, wheel barrel, shovels, brooms, garbage cans…”

She glanced over her shoulder. “I haven’t seen most of those things since I’d been in my dad’s…garage.” Heart kicking up a notch, she wiped her hands on the kitchen towel, then faced him. “Are you moving out of the city?”