Scattered Ashes (32 page)

He glanced down at the clock and realized he had about ten minutes before he was actually supposed to be at the restaurant.  He debated whether he should go in early and how it would look.  Of course, why the hell should it matter after all these years?  He didn’t have a clue, but it did.

Before he pulled the keys from the ignition, he ducked his head slightly and peered into the rear-view mirror, checking to make sure he was presentable.  The longer he stared, the more he fixated on the tiny wrinkles around his eyes.  When had he gotten those?  Never mind.  He hadn’t worried about them before.  There was no point in suddenly thinking about his age.  One last glance, and he finally decided to get out of the Jeep and amble toward the entrance.

Although there was still a small crowd left over from lunch, there were plenty of empty tables, so he was seated without waiting.  He scanned the room, wondering if Nicole had arrived before him, but he certainly didn’t see anyone who looked like her, and he figured she probably hadn’t changed so much he wouldn’t recognize her.  Realizing she wasn’t there yet, he turned his focus to the menu.

As he opened it, he pondered why she’d wanted to meet him.  Could it be just a matter of her wanting to get together for old times' sake?  He shook his head.  No, he hadn't gotten that impression when he'd been on the phone with her--not that he knew what to do with the impression he did get when they'd last spoken.

“Figure out what you’re having,” he muttered, forcing himself to stop going over things in his head.  It wasn't going to do him any good.  Whatever reason Nicole had had for wanting to meet with him, he’d know soon enough.

“Excuse me.”

Jordan looked up to find a teenage guy standing there.  His dark eyes and hair seemed familiar, but he couldn’t quite place him.  “Yes?”

“Do you mind if I sit here?”

Jordan took a hasty look around again.  “Well, I’m actually supposed to be meeting someone, and there are other unoccupied tables.”  He frowned, suddenly wondering why the kid wanted to sit with him.  It didn’t make sense.

“Yeah, I know you’re meeting someone.  It’s just not who you
think
you’re seeing.”

Jordan’s eyes widened, and for a second he was speechless.  Then he shook his head.  “Come again?  Are you sure you have the right table?”

“Are you Jordan Carroway?”

“Well,” Jordan began, “Yes.”  He scrutinized the kid, that familiar feeling nagging at him, and then it dawned on him: he had Nicole’s eyes.  Her son, perhaps?  “You’re Nick, aren’t you?”

Nick nodded, surprised and sat across from him.  “I didn’t know if you knew about me.”

Jordan laughed and set the menu on the table.  “The last time I saw you, you were still in diapers right after your grandfather’s funeral, so it’s been a while, but yeah, I definitely knew about you.”  He looked around the room, trying to find Nicole.  “Where’s your mom?”

“Not here.”  He leaned back.

“Is she all right?  She sounded strange on the phone.”

It was Nick’s turn to laugh, and since the waiter appeared at that moment to take their orders, Jordan had to wait to find out why.  When the waiter finally walked away, he asked, “What’s so funny?”  Then he grabbed his water and took a drink.

“That wasn’t my mom you talked to on the phone, actually.  She was at the movies with me while my sister and Aunt Sarah called you.”

The pit of Jordan’s stomach seemed to lurch as though he were on a roller coaster and had just gone over a large hill.  “But Sarah hates me.”

“Not as much as she hates my dad--and you haven’t seen my mom lately.  She’s been a wreck.  Sarah even told her to call you, but she wouldn’t listen.”

A flush crept into Jordan’s cheeks, and he took a deep breath.  “Well, I guess that explains why she sounded the way she did.  At first I couldn’t put my finger on why her voice was so different but since I was talking to a teenager, I’m thinking now she sounded like one.  I just didn’t get it at the time.”

Jordan stared at Nick, kind of amazed at how much he really did look like his mother.  It seemed as though he should have known immediately when he'd first spotted Nick; that’s how uncanny the resemblance was.  Still, there was no way he could've known, really.

“Yeah, well, Michelle was pretty pleased with herself that she was able to convince you she was Mom and get this whole meeting set up.”

Jordan set his glass down.  “But why wouldn’t your mom just call me herself?  Why have your sister do it?”

A bit of color drained from Nick’s face.  “Mom doesn’t have a clue Michelle even called, and it’s better that way.  Really it is.”

The waiter brought out a salad for Jordan, and once Jordan had unwrapped his silverware, he tried again to wrap his head around a conversation he couldn’t believe he was having with someone he couldn’t even believe was this old.  Where had the time gone?

“Okay, so what's going on with your mom?”  He looked at the salad but suddenly didn’t have much appetite.

Nick took a deep breath.  “I’ll tell you.  But first I want to ask you a question.  It might seem a little personal, but you gotta understand.  This is my mom we’re talking about.  It’s important.”

Jordan’s back tensed, and he suddenly felt unnerved.  What was going on?  What had he stumbled into?  “Okay, I’ll do my best.”

“Do you love my mom?”

Jordan blinked, trying to believe he'd heard right.  As he struggled to answer, a couple passed by them on their way out.

“Why?”

“It’s a simple question.  Do you love my mom?”

Jordan took a sip of water just to give himself some time to form an answer to a tough question he really already thought he knew the answer to.  Saying it was a different story, though.  His gut reaction was to keep his feelings locked up, to play it safe, but something about the way Nick sat there, his eyes delving deeply into Jordan’s, made lying impossible.  “I care very much for your mom, but up until two days ago, she was still married in my mind, Nick.  Up until now, I’ve never had much chance to explore them.  I’d like to, but I can’t just say I love her without a foundation we haven’t had a chance to build.”  He toyed with his silverware.  “I know maybe that isn’t what you want to hear, but it’s the best I can say.”

Nick smiled and nodded.  “Well, you didn’t lie, and that’s what’s important.  My dad could stand to take a few lessons from you on how to treat women.”

Jordan shoved his fork into the salad.  “You’re a lot like your mom, Nick.”

“Thank you.”

The waiter returned with Nick’s order, and for a moment the two men busied themselves eating.  Then Jordan finally looked up and set his fork down again.  “So what are you expecting from me?  I mean, your mom doesn’t know I’m here, so why bother?”

Nick swallowed the bite in his mouth.  “Well, the thing is, my asshole dad has decided to marry his girlfriend—the same one he cheated with during his marriage to my mom--and it’s been really tough for her.  Aunt Sarah’s been trying to get her to call you since the divorce years ago, but Mom figured you were remarried, and she didn’t want to complicate your life.”

She’s never complicated my life
, Jordan thought. 
Never.
  He arched his eyebrows at the mention of Sarah again.  “You sure Sarah tried to get her to call me?”  He shook his head in bewilderment.

Nick pointed his fork at Jordan.  “Take my word.  You put Sarah and my dad in a room, and there’re fireworks.  Guaranteed.  Besides,” he said, slipping his hand around his glass of soda, “you haven’t seen my mom since my dad made that boneheaded announcement.  She’s been crying a lot and thinking about the past.  Once Sarah told us about how Mom met you, both Michelle and I decided we had to do something.”

Jordan leaned back, suddenly aware he was finally about to get to the point where he fit into a plan he’d known nothing about.  “Is your mom okay?”

“Yeah,” Nick finally said.  “I guess.  She’s pretty upset, and we didn’t know what else to do.”

Jordan took a bite of his chicken and asked, “Okay, it sounds like you, Michelle, and Sarah have cooked up a game plan.  How about letting me in on it?”

Shaking his head, Nick said, “Okay.  Here’s the deal: I was going to take you to meet Mom.  Right now Michelle and Sarah are setting up a campsite with Mom—”

“Wait.”  Jordan held up his hand, stopping the conversation as he leaned forward.  “Please tell me your mother isn’t camping.”

“Well, yeah, she is.  Why?”

Jordan starting shaking his head as he imagined all the disasters which were about to befall Nicole.  “Have you ever taken your mother camping before?”

Nick fiddled with his hamburger.  “Well--no--my dad didn’t much care for the Great Outdoors.”

“Then let me enlighten you about what happened the last time your mother decided to spend some quality time with Mother Nature.  I was there with her when she fell into a river, tipped a canoe, and stepped on a cactus.  By that point, I think the only reason she didn’t get into more trouble was that I was carrying her.  The world is not ready for your mother to go camping, Nick.”

Shaking his head, Nick said, “Then we should get to the campsite before something bad happens?”

Jordan set down a tip and stood, grabbing both checks.  “That would be my guess.”

Nick also stood.  "I'm following you."

Jordan stepped up to the register and handed the cashier the checks.

“You don’t have to pay for my meal.”

“I know,” Jordan said, grinning.  “But I don’t mind.”  As the cashier handed Jordan his change, he turned back to Nick.  “Now perhaps we should go rescue your sister and aunt.”

Chapter Twenty-One

“Tell me again why I let you guys talk me into this?  You know I hate camping.”  Nicole glared at her best friend while holding the poles of their tent in her hand.  She’d tried to tell herself she was intelligent enough to make sense of how a tent should go up.  The tent, however, seemed to be getting the upper hand, and all Sarah could do was sit on her butt and laugh.

“You came because your kids asked you to, and you know that in a few years they'll be in college and you'll wish you'd had more moments like this.”  Sarah turned her focus to the tent poles in Nicole’s hand.  “Okay, well, maybe not exactly like
this
, but you know what I mean.”

Nicole waved the poles in the air in exasperation.  “How is it I can have a bachelor’s degree and still not know which pole goes where?”

Sarah chuckled and held her hand out for the poles.  “Here.  Give me those before you hurt someone.  How did you ever get through that weekend P.E. trip with Jordan?”

Immediately Nicole’s shoulders stiffened, and she closed her eyes as though she didn’t want to see what was right in front of her.  “I was a disaster, that’s how,” she finally managed in a weak voice.

“Have you talked to him lately?”

Nicole gritted her teeth and glowered at her.  “I think you know the answer to that.”

Looking away, Sarah began assembling the tent.  “You could always call him.  I’m sure he’d be glad to hear from you.”

“Yeah, well, considering how my last relationship went, I think I’ll pass just the same.”  She plunked down in one of the folding chairs to get a great view of her friend fighting with the tent.  Unfortunately, it seemed Sarah was a bit better at assembling the tent than Nicole had been.