Scattered Ashes (24 page)

Nodding, she pulled it out and handed it to him so he could unlock the door.  Nicole took a deep breath and let it out, trying to control the chaos spinning inside her.  She kept trying to tell herself the contractions weren’t real, that she wasn’t really in labor.  The trouble was, this felt like real labor.

Jordan unlocked the door and opened it so he could lead Nicole to the bed and watch her ease onto it.  “Is there anything I can get for you?  Something to drink or eat?”  He hovered nearby, not sure what else he could do.

“No,” Nicole finally said, struggling to get comfortable as her back began to hurt, which was far from a new symptom.

“I really don’t like seeing you like this,” he said leaning close.  He thought she might answer--that her closed eyes might flicker open--but it seemed that Nicole had suddenly drifted toward unconsciousness, which might be a good thing for her.  Of course, he wondered if she were in the early stages of labor.  Surely Nicole would recognize them because of her other child.

He started to walk away so she could rest, but his hand drifted to her hair, his fingers gently stroking the long strands that felt like silk.  Standing there, so close, he felt mesmerized by her, and he kept silently slamming her husband for being such an idiot.  The truth was that her husband was more than likely having an affair, and no matter how much everyone might want to put everything back in the box as if it had never been disturbed, that wasn’t going to happen, no matter what he did.  Her world was never going to be the same.  He just wondered what she was going to do if she figured out he was having an affair.  Would she stay with him because of their kids?  He just couldn’t see that somehow.

She stirred slightly and he quickly pulled his hand back, somehow embarrassed to think of being caught in such a gesture of familiarity.  He doubted Nicole would mind, but he couldn’t seem to help himself somehow.

He finally forced himself to close the door and head to the beach, back to the spot they’d occupied earlier.  Sarah was now lying on her back on the towel, her eyes closed as she drank in the sun’s warmth.

He strode over to her and knelt, intending to say something, but she beat him to it.  “You’re blocking my light.”

“Maybe so.  But I think Nicole might be going into labor.”

“What?”  Sarah sat up quickly.  “Where is she?”  She scanned the beach, searching for Nicole.

“Easy.”  Jordan laid his hand on her shoulder.  “I helped her back to the hotel.  She was pale and seemed pretty tired.  Although she said she wasn’t going into labor, I have my doubts.”

Sarah didn’t wait for him to say anything else.  Instead, she hastily started to gather her things, and Jordan quickly joined in.  As she stood, she grabbed them from him and started to turn away.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

“Because you’re not good for her.  You’ve never been good for her.”  She started to walk away, but Jordan caught her arm.

“I don’t understand what you mean.  I’ve never done anything to hurt her.  Ever.”

“Haven’t you?”  She shoved her sunglasses on to block the light.  “She was crazy about you, and you waited until the last possible moment to tell her you were engaged.  I’d say that’s pretty crappy.”  She whirled and headed to the hotel, leaving Jordan standing alone, stunned.

Chapter Fifteen

“I need to push!” Nicole screamed, struggling to sit up. 

Sarah quickly eased her back down.  “No, you don’t.  The doctor will be here in a moment.”

“Where’s Jordan?” she asked, her voice thick with pain.

“He’s out in the hall.”  Sarah eyed the door, praying the doctor would just come and get this over with.  Her best friend had been in labor for twelve hours, and she was exhausted--some vacation for both of them.

“Can you get him?”

“You want him to see you…like this??”  Sarah shook her head in disbelief.

“He’s just a friend, Sarah--and it’s not like Michael is suddenly going to arrive to welcome his daughter.”  Even before Nicole had stopped speaking, her face turned pale as another contraction seized her, and she closed her eyes, trying to focus on breathing.  “Please get him,” she managed through clenched teeth.

“All right.  All right.”  She slipped into the hall where Jordan sat on a bench.  He looked up as she approached.  “She wants you.”

“Me?”  Jordan stood slowly, unsure.  “Why would she want me in there?”

“'Cause there is no way in hell Michael will get here in time for the delivery.  He missed the first one, too.”

Jordan’s eyes bulged.  “You’re kidding?  He wasn’t there?  No wonder she thinks he’s sleeping around.  Jerk.”  He took a deep breath and slipped into the room to find Nicole lying there, staring out the window.

“Hey, you,” he said, ambling over.  At first, he thought she was just turned away, but then he realized she was also crying and trying to hide it.  “What’s the matter?”  He pulled a chair up beside the bed and took her hand.

She drew a shaky hand across her face.  “Look, this isn’t your problem, and if you don’t want to stay, I completely get it.  I just know Michael is MIA on a business trip, and I don’t want to have to do this alone again, so I wondered if you’d mind sitting with me.”

His jaw clenched as he thought of what Sarah had revealed to him on the beach, and ever since that moment, his regrets had piled themselves into a mountain and he wished he had called his wedding off.  Had he really believed Nicole had been in love with him, he might have.  It was hard to say.  But right now he knew his presence wasn’t  helping her think clearly.

“Nicole, I’m probably not the best person to be here with you.  Perhaps Sarah—" 

“Why?  We’ve always been good friends, Jordan.  Why does this have to be different?”  She looked up at him with glassy eyes, her expression pleading.  “All I’m asking you to do is stay with me until this baby is born.  That’s all I want.  I know my marriage is in trouble, but this is something separate.  Please.”  She squeezed his hand, and as he stared into her plaintive eyes, he found himself unable to refuse. 

“All right,” he said.  “I’ll stay.  But you do realize I don’t have a clue what to do with a baby.”

She might have answered had another contraction not latched onto her, stealing her breath and stiffening her body with agony.

Seconds later, a doctor popped into the room, and everything blurred as Jordan sat beside Nicole.  Sweat sheened her face, and she struggled to breathe and push as he helped support her back, gently coaching her in a way that felt strangely intimate and yet right, as though she was the missing part of him for whom he’d always searched.

After about thirty minutes of Nicole trying to push, the doctor said, “The head is crowning,” and a few pushes later, that baby suddenly appeared.  Sitting there, Jordan felt chills go through him as he watched Nicole smile and relax against the bed while hearing the newborn cry.

“It’s a girl,” the doctor said.  “You have a daughter.”

“I knew that,” Nicole replied, looking at Jordan and dazzling him with the most serene smile he’d ever seen.  She was beautiful, and he reached out and touched her face before he'd thought to stop himself.  He just didn’t understand how everything could feel as though he was supposed to be with her, and this should have been his child.

“How did you know that, Nicole?”

“Sonogram, dopey.  I’m not psychic or anything.”

They both laughed, and the nurse gently handed the baby to him.  “Your daughter.”

“I’m not—"

“It’s okay.  Take her,” Nicole said.  “Really.”

The nurse looked from one to the other, and Jordan gently reached out and accepted the little thing wrapped in pink, and the whole time he stared at her he found himself amazed and grateful to have witnessed this.  “What are you going to name her?”

“Michelle Maddison.”  Nicole smiled at the way he seemed to  bond instantly with the baby.

A nurse brought Sarah in, and she glared enviously at Jordan.  “Hey, how come he gets to hold the baby?”  She perched at the end of the bed.

“Because I’m the delivery coach,” he joked, still mesmerized by the tiny sleeping face.

"Okay, Delivery Coach, smile."  Sarah held up her phone and snapped a picture of the three of them.  Then she glared at Nicole.

“Come on, Nic.  I’m your best friend,” she whined impatiently, hovering close to Michael so that if he wanted to give her Michelle, she’d be ready to take her.

Nicole shook her head.  “Okay, Jordan, you might want to let Sarah hold the baby before she has a meltdown and teaches Michelle how to throw a temper tantrum.”

Sighing, Jordan slowly eased the baby into Sarah’s arms yet still hovered just in case Sarah didn’t completely "have" her.  When he looked back at Nicole, he found her eyes had grown heavy and that she was drifting toward dreamland.

“I think she’s pretty wiped out,” he said, folding his arms across his chest.

“Yeah, I don’t doubt it.”  Sarah rocked the baby slowly back and forth to settle her to sleep.

“Where is Michael?  Does he even know that Nicole went into labor?”

Shrugging, Sarah looked at him, a flush covering both cheeks.  “I haven’t been able to reach him, just like last time, so, no, he doesn’t have a clue Nicole had their daughter.” 

Jordan eyed Nicole’s chest, confirming by its easy rise and fall she had drifted away.  “You do realize he’s probably having an affair, right?”

“I’m guessing.”  She eased the sleeping baby into the glass basinet by the bed before leaning against the windowsill.  “And it’s only going to make Nicole try harder to keep the marriage together, for Nick and Michelle’s sake.”  She gritted her teeth, wanting to throttle Michael.

“You know she deserves better.”  Jordan nodded at Nicole.

“And are you what’s ‘better’?  Is that what you're trying to say?”  She waved her hand dismissively at him.

“No, that’s not why I’m trying to say at all.  I don’t have anything to do with this.  I just want her to be happy, and this jerk can’t even make sure she’s okay and stick around long enough for her to have their baby.  She doesn’t need this.”

Sarah’s cell rang, and she looked at the display.  “It’s Michael.”

“Yeah, well, it’s about damned time.”  He walked off, intending to get some fresh air to cool off.

He strode into the hallway, trying hard to regain control of the emotions that swirled darkly inside.  He knew he had no business being pissed, but he also knew Nicole was right on the money about her suspicions: Michael was in the middle of an affair.  Nothing else explained his absences.

Pacing the hall, he wondered just what the hell he was really doing there.  He should’ve been flattered to know just how much of a thing Nicole had for him, but knowing had only tangled his emotions that much more because he’d always had a thing for her as well.  Right now, seeing what her idiot husband had right in front of him that he didn’t seem to want only made Jordan that much angrier.

He turned to pace in the other direction and almost collided with Sarah.  Stepping back, he averted his gaze.  “Sorry.  How’s Nicole?”

“She and the baby are sleeping.”

And what about Michael?”  Although he tried to keep his tone neutral, even he could hear the resentment festering in it.