Authors: Christine Zolendz
Shane
,
the
jackhat
,
still sat there
,
eyes all wide staring at me and brilliantly blue. So damn beautifully blue.
Lea sat next to me with her freaking head in her lap laughing her ass off. She tried to hide it, but I knew by the way her entire body shook
that
she was hysterical.
Ethan gave me an encouraging smile, "Well, I think it's pretty damn amazing."
Alex grabbed onto one of Ethan's shoulders, "Amazing? Dude, that's the hottest thing ever. Oh my God, do you remember when she wore those little pink teddy bear pajamas?" He licked his lips looking at me, "Grace, my love, we need to create the most epic experience for you..."
We?
O
h,
my God, I don't even w
ant
to know what he's thinking right now
.
I stood up. I wobbled a bit,
so what
. I rested my hands down on the table so I wouldn't fall over. "Well, thank you everyone. Why the
fuck don't
ya'll
(all of a sudden I was southern) just...just continue the discussion of my virginity (I had a bit of a problem pronouncing it correctly), because in no way would that be, let's say, uncomfortable or embarrassing in
any way
to me. E...
specially
in front of Hot Pink Lips there," I said pointing to Marie.
I pushed my chair in and moved backwards. "You guys can all take a vote on who I should hand my V-card to, there's no problem with that, right
Shane?" I shoved the table at him a bit, it didn't move much
, but
I was too drunk to care. "Since I'm not in the fucking band anymore, right? I can fuck any one of these guys. Right? That's not a problem for you, right?"
He looked up at me with glassy eyes. He just stared at me with blank eyes and down turned lips. The expression was heart wrenching.
"
Fuckasstard
!" I called him.
Marie giggled drunkenly. "What's a
fuckasstard
,
Virgin
?"
I leveled my eyes to hers.
Holy Mind Erasers, I was so much
drunker
than five minutes ago when I was sitting down!
Did I say
fuckasstard
?
What
is
a
fuckasstard
? "It's a fucking asshole retard or a fucking ass in a leotard. Shane's both and your lipstick is fucking awesome!" I shoved the table at him one more time for good measure. It didn't move, but I still didn't care.
I walked (stumbled) to the bar and sat myself on a stool (slipping off only twice). "Ry
..
.
an
," I sang. Seriously, I sang his name.
Sang it
.
Behind
me,
I could hear
Lea giving Marie a complete verbal smack down. I smiled knowing Marie would never recover from what Lea would embarrass her with.
"Ry
..
.
an
," I sang again.
Damn I could sing that boy
'
s name
.
Laughing, Ryan came over. "Yes, gorgeous, what would you like?" I leaned over the bar (tipping the stool backwards, yet not falling. Now that's talent).
Wow, Ryan has nice lips.
"Ry.
Ry
, I need a Shane Eraser. Right. Now. Kay?"
Ryan leaned his elbow on the bar in front of mine and lowered his face so his lips were all I could see. "Grace, do you mean a Mind Eraser?"
I smiled at him. "Yeah, I'm going to need one of those t
o
o. Damn Ry. You have really kissable lips. I want to just suck on that lip ring." I slapped my hand over my mouth. "Wow, did I say that out loud? Psf."
Ryan smiled
thanks
, backed away and started making my drink. Then my ass started ringing and vibrating. It took me a minute to figure out what the hell was going on. Cell phone, back pocket.
Oh right
. I took it out and swiped the screen. It took me a minute.
Text Message 9:13 pm Shane:
I am so fucking sorry
"Ha! Sure!" I yelled.
Ryan placed the drink in front of me and I drank it so fast I didn't even taste it. I slid the empty glass towards him and tried to smile, but I couldn't feel my face. And honestly, I didn't even freaking know if it was attached to the rest of my body; I was so numb.
Lea was beside me the next minute and wrapped her arms around me. "For what it's worth
,
Grace. Even if he isn't your angel anymore, that man has serious feelings for you. Put yourself out of your misery and talk to him."
I turned my face to her, "Lea, I don't need anyone to put me out of my misery, that's what the booze is for." I glanced behind us at the table. Shane was still
staring
blankly at me while everyone seemed to be discussing how, when, where and who my first sexual experience in this body should be. "I'm leaving before the gang bang starts. Besides, no matter how hot he is, that man doesn't deserve me.
That man is not for me
, that can't be my fate in this life
.
"
I spun the stool back around so I wouldn't be facing him.
"Who the hell are
yo
u,
Grace, to decide
that you can
tell fate what to do? Has it worked for you yet? And how the hell do you know what your fate is supposed to be? This is how it is now. This, this is what you were given. A chance to live another life as Grace Taylor, don't mess this up for
yourself
Grace. And that man, right there is so freaking crazy in love with you that he can't even think straight knowing you might have been with someone else. You changed
hi
m,
Grace, like a
God damn
lightning bolt to the heart. You can't tell me that you don't feel
it,
just looking at you two is like everybody is looking at something that's only written about i
n
fairy tales. Take your chance with
hi
m,
Grace. If it doesn't work,
who fucking
cares? Move on to the next guy. But don't let this one get away so fast."
Shocked by her words,
I stumbled
off the stool and turned around. Shane was in my face. My heart slammed and thudded against my chest painfully. He rested both his hands on the bar on either side of me, trapping me. My mouth went dry and my whole body started to tingle.
He moved in closer to me and gently tapped his forehead to mine. My knees
turned to jelly
and with one
hand,
he grabbed m
e around my waist to hold me up. T
hen
he
leaned his whole hard body against mine and I sank into him. He took a long deep breath and pulled me against him even closer.
Ice-cold
blue eyes stared at me for an eternity before he brought his lips to my ear
and breathed the words, "Band practice tomorrow at ten. Make sure you bring your guitar this time."
So not what I thought would come out of his mouth. I was hoping for his tongue. Ugh...what the hell is wrong with me?
He let me go and stepped away from me
,
raking a hand through his hair. He walked b
ackwards, blue eyes still on me. T
hen he turned around and walked out the door.
"Wow, it's like watching porn when you guys are that close," Lea giggled next to me.
I was still staring at the door. "Lea, I think I lost all the bones in my body
,
I feel all...fleshy."
"Hmmm...I think you're in heat," was her stupid reply. It made me smile drunkenly anyway, because she was probably right.
Chapter 1
3
My clock glowed five in the morning, when I felt a cool fingertip run down the length of my arm. When it reached my
wrist,
it traveled back up caressing my skin gently to my shoulder. More cool fingertips joined and brushed across my chest and neck.
I snapped my eyes open and wrestled myself out of the embrace. I remembered very clearly that I had gone to bed alone, after Lea held my hair back as I vomited everything I had ever ingested in my entire life into our toilet for an hour. Anyone who was in my bed after that was an uninvited guest and was about to get the ass kicking of their life.
I tumbled off the mattress and onto the floor when the lamp I always kept next to my bed flicked on.
By itself
.
Gabriel
.
Oh crap, I thought this was all over
.
"Hello Grace. You're looking...well," he whispered.
I backed away from him until my back hit the wall. "Get out."
In a blur of motion
,
he was on me, one hand wrapped itself tightly around my waist, the other around the back of my neck and his lips covered mine. "I wanted to give you something," he hummed into my mouth as he kissed me. A rush of sublime pleasure spiked through my body, pure bliss surged through my veins, euphoria seeped through my pores, but the only thing that filled my mind was Shane's beautiful face.
Gabriel pushed my face away with his hands
,
causing my head to thump hard against the wall. His hands slid down my neck and his ancient blue eyes pierced into mine. "I can give you everything you have ever wanted, Grace. Don't think of him when it's my lips that are on you."
I pushed myself off the wall and leveled my eyes with his, "All I ever wanted was
him
."
"You still love him despite all he's done to you?" He leaned
forward, plac
ed his cool lips on my forehead,
and chuckled, "Make no mistake, Grace. We will be together."
Then he was gone and I was left sitting alone in my bedroom wondering
how Gabriel had gone from trying to kill me
,
to whatever the hell he was pulling now. After a
while,
my eyelids were too heavy to hold open any longer and the confusing theories I was debating in my head about Gabriel were too much and I fell back asleep.
At nine
o'clock,
the alarm clock on my phone went off that Lea so thoughtfully set for me the night before as I hugged the toilet in front of her. I jumped in the shower swearing to myself I'd never drink another Mind Eraser again. I swallowed a handful of aspirin because even the water drops from the shower spray felt painful. I dressed in a simple pair of jeans and purple shirt and slipped on my sneakers.
I
had to drink a pot of coffee before I felt halfway human again.
At ten minutes to
ten,
I grabbed my coat and my guitar and headed out the door. A tiny butterfly flew in slow soaring loops in my belly when I thought about being in the studio again with Shane.
The way that man twisted my body and mind around was so not cool
. What was
even worse was the unrelenting desire of me wanting him to. Holy
Crappocalypse
! I was turning into one of
THOSE GIRLS!
I wanted to punch myself in the face to knock some sense into myself. Ha, if only I could. I shook the thoughts out of my mind.
Outside my front
door,
a slight breeze moved the trees that lined my street. It smelled of warmth and sunshine and teased
my
nose with other pleasures of the spring that was yet to come. I smiled to myself as I walked the block noticing a few early sprouting tulips in my neighbor
'
s flowers boxes that hung just below their f
ront windows.
Signs of life, new beginnings, and
hope.
The life of the tulip bulb paralleling mine, waking again to new life after each death sent a shiver through my body. Yet, I smiled knowing that this would be my last one. A strange thought to be happy about when I had a rouge angel trying to kill me. But Gabriel hadn't tried to hurt me that
morning,
had he? He just kissed me and offered to give me everything I ever wanted. I wondered if killing me would be the end of his plans for taking over the heavens, he couldn't have my soul if it was already there, could he?
I crossed the avenue to Shane's block and wondered if I'd have to spend the rest of my existence on constant guard about Gabriel. I hoped that one day
,
the Heavens and whoever had some pull up there, would finally figure out that enough was enough with Gabriel and his torture of my soul. If this was my last crack at being a human with a normal life, I didn't want him jumping out at me
every so often from behind the curtains to try to make me his...whatever it was he wanted me to be.