Authors: Leah Banicki
Janette had accepted my Facebook request and sent a quick note. It was all funny family stories and she
begged me for a call soon, I sent back a promise that I would.
I got an email that Jackson accepting my friend request and I jumped over to his facebook page. His profile
picture was a beautiful sunset on the lake. The chat function beeped at me and his chat window popped up.
‘Hi Hannah’ He typed.
‘Hey Jackson, you are up late.’
‘Writing, this is when the juices get flowing, sometimes. Other times it’s during the day. The muse is funny
that way.’
‘I finished your book, it is great. I loved the twists. You kept me guessing. I adore getting blind-sided like
that.’
I thought about my blind-side from Anthony and got a little misty.
‘Well in a book it’s good’ I typed then paused. ‘In real life the blind-sides take a while to get over.’
‘I am sorry that happened, friend.’ Jackson wrote.
It was a nice thing to know that I had him as a friend.
‘Well me too :) ‘I laughed a little on my side of the world. I wiped away a stray tear but didn’t think I could
cry anymore.
‘You get a good sleep, see you soon.’ Jackson added.
‘I will drive around tomorrow for some location potentials and call you in the afternoon.’ I answered.
‘Ok.’
I closed my computer and realized I was excited about tomorrow. I liked this job and client. They were all
good people. I had the hopes of at least one more visit and a chance to lounge in that red leather chair and stare
across the water. Well, and visiting with Zee and Ruby. It felt weird to think of him as Zee. It might be a bit to
soon for that.
* * * * *
I woke up sweating and my chest hurt. I could still see Anthony from my dream as we walked down the
aisle at our wedding. My dress was decorated with pearls and lace. His family was watching, and my father was
next to me holding my arm, as we did the slow march up the aisle. Anthony was standing at the front. It was
perfection, with my white roses and wisteria elegantly cascading from every surface. Gorgeous! Randall, the host
from the
Soulmate
show, was standing where the preacher should be, but in the dream it seemed to make sense.
As I got closer to the front of the room I saw a bridesmaid stepped out of place and walked up to Anthony
and took his arm. They started kissing passionately and my father and I stopped walking. I ran forward and
snatched Anthony away from the bridesmaid to see Desiree smiling at me with a victorious grin. Anthony looked
at me and pried himself loose from Desiree’s grasp.
He ran the few steps between us and held me close. I could still feel his arms around me. Then everything
went wrong when Desiree pulled a gun and shot my Dad first, then Anthony.
The details were starting to fade but the vision of blood on my white wedding dress was so vivid. It felt
real.
I could hear the night birds outside chirping from my bed in my parent’s home. I felt the pull of the dream
wanting to sink me further into sadness. Adrenaline surged through me and my breathing was becoming painful. My
anxiety was climbing. Sometimes I wondered if being afraid of having anxiety made it worse.
My iPhone was next to the bed and I hit the button to check the time. I set the phone back down; it was
almost 4 a.m. I took a few minutes and tried to think of something else and kept breathing slowly and deeply. I
thought the violence from the dream was a bit of spillover from the crime drama I read. It was not an overtly
violent book but there was some shooting in the story. I’d had my fair share of nightmares the last few months. I
relived the breakup, at least once a week. I was never one for remembering dreams before. I wasn’t enjoying it
much now.
Once I felt calmer I lay back down and thought about possible locations for a photo shoot. It worked to
keep my brain busy and distracted me from thinking about the wedding dream for a while. As I drifted off to sleep
the wedding dream came back and I forced myself to wake up again. This process repeated itself for a hour or so.
I ended up praying myself to sleep finally. Just talking to God about my pain helped me focus on something
besides the fear of dreaming. It seemed a bit over simplified, but the Peace that came was so needed. I got a few
hours of much needed sleep.
* * * * *
“I will be at your place in a few minutes, just wanted to give you a heads up.” I was pretty sure I just woke
up Jackson but he had agreed to the time.
“Yeah, I am sorry I overslept. I stayed up way too late last night. I was writing and got carried away with
the story. No worries, Hannah. I will be ready.” His voice sounded sleepy.
I spent the day before going through a few of my favorite old location pictures from when I lived in this
area. Some old factories would work well for the urban scenes if they were still there. I was driving my dad’s
mustang again. I felt a strange sensation while driving down the highway that someone was following me, but seeing
the nearly empty road behind me now in the rearview calmed my nerves. I was just a little bit jumpy.
Jackson agreed yesterday afternoon to come with me to a few spots to see some possible ideas for book
covers. We would also take some time to brainstorm for the website photos. I was looking forward to having
some pleasant banter today. When I was around Jackson I didn’t think about all the other junk. I felt like Jackson
might just become a friend, a real one. That was such a comforting thought as I drove to his home.
I adored his house. What a beautiful place! I never knew I had a love for log houses.
Ok, this was more than
a house. This was bliss made of wood.
I walked slowly, carrying my camera around my neck, stopping to snap a few
landscape photos in the red warm sun of the morning.
Yep…bliss.
“I think you should pretend to like it here. I am tired of looking at your disgust when you come here.”
Jackson said, sarcastically, as he strolled over to me. Looking taller than anyone had a right to be.
I gave him a wink and snapped a picture of him. He looked so fresh and handsome in the light. The stubble
he was growing was a charming addition to his overall look. Hmmmm!
“Let’s get this party going.” I said to distract myself from being a goof just because he was handsome. I
didn’t need to be intimidated again.
“Great, I have high expectations of you being brilliant today.” He squinted a sec and sneezed into a
handkerchief.
“Bless you!” I said, trying not to giggle.
“Blah…” He said with a stuffed up voice.
We both laughed as we piled into my dad’s car. He moved the seat back as far as it would go.
“Jackson, you are just a bit too tall for this ride.” I gave him a wink.
“Just a bit shweetheart.”
We got on the road, headed out, and talked comfortably about the first book. He shared some tidbits
about the next book and I enjoyed every second. The first destination was downtown South Bend at a working
factory that had an empty building in the back lot. It was beautifully hideous! The scene supported my vision of a
good shot. It had a mangled steel staircase and I have loved the stream of dirty sunlight peaking through the
broken windows in the past. I was hoping this place would play out well, again.
“How did you find this place?” Jackson asked as he found a corner out of my way and free of any
dangerous debris.
“Oh, a local girl with a camera can find her way into all kinds of trouble.” I grinned.
“This place is interesting, what’s your plan?” Jackson asked.
“Well the staircase has a lot of potential for layering in intrigue. Even if I don’t use it as a focal point I can
use it to shadow or add interest to a tamer scene.”
“Wow.” He laughed. “You lost me, but I can’t wait to see what you mean. Do what you do best, Hannah.”
The way he said my name, sounded like Anthony and I turned to look at Jackson for perhaps a second too long.
His look was friendly, appearing curious to watch me work.
I am working…stop thinking about Anthony. Focus Hannah!
I said to myself. Never in my life had I been this
scattered. I was glad that Jackson was a patient client. I kept thinking of him as a growing friendship role but I didn’t
want to push it. For now he was my client and paying me. I needed to keep this professional.
I started taking pictures of the sunbeams and some debris on the floor, even the cobwebs. I was waiting
for the sunbeams to get to a certain place for the perfect lighting affect.
“Ok, I need the blanket if you want to help.” I said and pointed at a pile.
“Gladly!” Jackson got the thick ugly blanket from the pile of things we brought in. I pointed to the spot
where I wanted it laid.
“Are you going to lay on this?” His eyebrow were raised with a protective look.
“Yep!” I said.
“Uh, nope.” He stated and shook his head.
“I have done this before, I will be fine.” I smiled sweetly at his protective gesture, but would not be
dissuaded.
“I am not sure that lying beneath a dilapidated, steel framed, rotting staircase is the wisest choice.”
I looked up and saw his point but this was not the first time I had been in a dangerous position to get the
shot.
“Next month I will be hanging off glaciers…” I said to ease his mind.
He “harrumphed” and laid the blanket where I wanted it. He used to be a cop. He could see stubborn
written across my face. I was going to do this with or without him.
“Whatever, Evil Knievel. I am here to save you should the world collapse in on you.” He pursed his mouth
in a grimace to show his displeasure. I would make my stunt quick. No need for heroics.
I scooted on the ground and got into position a minute or two before necessary. The sun hadn’t hit the
right spot yet, but I took a few shots to get my bearings and remembered the shadow and lights of the room from
this angle.
“This better be worth risking your life.” Jackson said smugly.
“I don’t even want to know how you got all the experience you write about.” I answered with my own
playful sarcasm attached.
We both laughed at our “pretend” bickering.
The sunbeams were moving closer to me. I got quiet and held my breath to get the shot steady with no
movements at all. The sun hit the edge of a broken window and the sunbeam split for a few minutes. The
reflections off the steel beams of the staircase created a refracted light affect that shot through the dark corner of
the room, creating shadows and lights that were unreal. My camera clicked and whirred through the silence as I
tried to capture it all. Each angle I turned had a different mood. When I shot through the staircase beams, it was
like a modern art piece with strange lights bouncing to and fro. When I caught the far wall, the lights bounced off
the cement stones and graffiti with the eerie yellow refractions. I did my work and could hear just my own
breathing as I took low and slow breaths and the clicks from my camera. I loved my job!
I scooted out of my dangerous position; Jackson grabbed the blanket and gave it a few shakes to get any
junk, dirt or spiders out of it. I snapped a few more shots of the room, it was showing off for me, today. I saw
another potential shot as I looked through my lens. Through a broken window I see a flower bud on the other
side in an abandoned lot. I went to my camera bag and got a bigger lens. I wanted to get the shot with the flower
through the dirty window. It was a bit poetic and I loved it.
I attached my zoom lens to my camera and I went back to the same spot I stood just a moment before. I
had taken the picture with the other lens but I wanted the zoom to get even closer. I took the shot I wanted but
got very disappointed when I saw a big scratch across the lens.
I gasped out loud.
“What is it?” Jackson ran to me, his boots crunching across the dirty floor.
“Oh, I have a scratched lens and I was gonna get all artsy.” I tried to sound less disappointed than I was. To
my ears I failed and sounded like a four year old who dropped her ice cream.
“Are you sure it’s scratched?” Jackson asked.
I used a thin cloth and touched the lens through the cloth. I could feel the scratch. It had a ledge.
Drat!
“Yes.” I muttered, disheartened.
“I haven’t looked through this lens since my equipment made the flight with me from New York, before
the show started. I definitely need to get this fixed. I wonder since we are so close, if we could stop by Gene’s
Camera shop?” I said and batted my eyelashes at him. He nodded and smiled.
“You need to be careful with those eyes girl. They are dangerous.” He claimed.
I couldn’t help but enjoy the compliment, as we packed up the gear and headed to the car. I told him about
some of the other places I wanted to photograph. After we climbed in the car, I started the engine and we headed
off to the camera store.
“We need to look through the book of head-shots I got from a few local modeling agencies, if you want a
person on the cover anyway. We can look through pictures of hunky guys.” I giggled waiting for his reaction.
“You know, that sounds dreamy.” He said in a whispery voice. He batted his eyelashes. He sighed
dramatically and shook his head from side to side.
We continued laughing for a few minutes as we weaved through traffic. I parked in front of Gene’s Camera
and grabbed my bag.
“You don’t have to wait in the car if you don’t want to. I can show you around my favorite store.” I
grinned big showing all my teeth. I watched Jackson untangle himself from the seat one leg at a time. This car was
not built for his long legs. I make a pouty face when he rolled his eyes at me.
“Sorry…” I said through a small grin. “I am trying not to laugh.”
“I can see that.” Jackson said as he reached a long arm around me and pinched my shoulder. I feel a little
jolt being so close to a guy. I tried not to overreact. I could tell a second later that Jackson noticed my discomfort.
“Sorry.” He said and backed away a little. His mouth usually smiling now had a small frown.
“Nah just me, break up junk stuck in my head. Ya know…” I said quickly fighting off weird emotions.
OH-my-gosh, I do not want to do this in front of him! No crying, NO CRYING.
I yelled at myself in my head.
“Been there, Hannah.” He gave me a slightly secretive smile.
We walked into the downtown camera shop and I felt better already. I loved this store, so many good
memories. My dad bought my first good camera at this shop, then for my graduation present he gave me a few
good lenses.