Authors: Leah Banicki
“I think we can all just say ‘no comment’ if the reporters come around. We need to remember to just
keep everything as quiet and uneventful as possible. No need to get caught up in any craziness.” My Dad’s speech
was all practicality.
“I am fading fast guys and I appreciate tonight more than I can say. I just realized how much I have missed
you all. Thanks for making this so easy.” I said, and then yawned. They all shared a hug with me and I headed to my
room. I think they kept talking for a while but I was done.
* * * * *
I rifled through my luggage and found a tank top and some fuzzy jammie-pants with hearts on them. I
opened my laptop and started an email to Allison.
The last thing I planned on doing before I went into a coma.
I turned off all the lights and sat Indian-style on the bed while typing out my email.
I am home, now and I can’t call yet because of the TV show rules but I am ok. I cannot divulge how the show went
but I will tell you I did get to go to the Bahamas. It was warm and beautiful there. Coming back today to the chilly Midwest
was a shock after the stunning weather in all the tropical locales.
I missed you this whole time. I am sorry that I couldn’t call. They are very serious about keeping the secrets of the
show private until the very last episode is shown.
Please write back and give me something to talk about. Tell me everything you have been up too.
I pressed the send key and there was a flash of light outside a side window.. I expected thunder to roll but
it didn’t. I turned to look and saw at least ten people standing outside my window. All holding their cameras up
and the flashes were blinding me. Once I looked up they all started yelling. The adrenaline jolt got me moving
immediately.
I jumped off the bed and tripped on the bag that was on the floor, all I could see was the dots from the
flashes.
“Dad, Mom!” I yelled. I stood up and made for the door. The room was dark and my vision affected.
“What in the dickens?” My dad declared as he saw the people outside my window. “They are trespassing
on my property. I had no idea they could do that.”
“They can’t dad. They are not allowed to be on our property at all!” I escaped the room and stood with
my mom, as my vision cleared.
My brother and his wife were standing there looking as perplexed as my Mom felt. I had been so happy
and peaceful until that moment. One minute later the doorbell rang and scared us all. We were speechless. The
sound of the dishwasher running in the kitchen rang through the silence as we decided what to do.
“I’ll get the door.” My Dad said, taking charge. “Hannah go hide in the living room. My chair doesn’t face
any windows.”
My Dad went to the door and cracked it open an inch. The cacophony of voices could be heard from the
living room.
“This is a private residence! I suggest you remove yourselves from my property or I am calling the police.”
I heard my Dad’s ‘no nonsense’ voice.
“No comment!”
“No comment!”
The door was slammed and he bolted it. I heard him stomp over to the cordless phone on the wall and
dial.
“Yea , this is the Parker residence. We discussed the media being an issue. Please send out that security
detail.” There was a pause. “Yes.”
“Well that is nice of them.” Another pause. “When should we expect our lawn to be cleared of the
rubbish?”
I laughed – the rubbish. My Dad was so funny. I heard my Dad hang up the phone and tell my brother and
wife that they should wait until the cops cleared the driveway of media vans before they left for the night.
There were vans?
I sighed. I was told about this, I don’t know why I was so surprised.
Chapter 13
I slept a lot for that first week. The security detail the show paid for was prompt and took care of the
paparazzi soon after the “peeping incident.” I stayed, mostly, in the rooms that had blinds that first week. I just
didn’t want to be bothered. Monday night was a problem for me because it was the airing of the show. It was a
strange feeling knowing you were going to be on television. Your entire hometown would be watching it. I wanted
to know how I was portrayed, but, at the same time, I dreaded it. We had a family talk about it over the weekend
and decided it would just be between my parents and me. But Chrissy, who lived in the apartment above my
parent’s garage, wanted in on the fun. I said no at first but then buckled under to her begging. I had to keep my
mouth shut during the show. I brought a notebook with me, the night of the show, to journal while watching. It
was my therapy. I needed it!
Chrissy made some popcorn and we gathered around the flat screen. I was pretty sure I did not want to
see myself in HD. The show intro started and my mom scooted in next to my hip. She grabbed my hand and I felt
my wall go up.
Here we go
.
Anthony was as beautiful as ever. The show, of course, had a shot of him coming out of a pool, his abs and
muscles shown off to perfection. I always did enjoy looking at him. I sighed.
“Hannah, you have to be one of the luckiest women alive.” Chrissy gushed as Anthony’s photo splashed
across the screen. I grinned, I felt like an actress. My mom squeezed my hand.
The start of the show began with each girl from the last show reading their date card. Some had group
dates and then two girls had an all-day event with him. I wasn’t sure where they were with the show, but I knew
once Desiree flashed up on the screen. Her blond highlights and waves were perfectly in place as she read her date
card out loud.
‘Let’s make fireworks. We can spend all day together. I can’t wait. Yours, Anthony.’ Desiree read then
turned to the camera. She gave it a wink and said. ‘I plan on making fireworks every time we are together.’ She
laughed and I wanted to puke. It was strange seeing someone else’s experience. It’s not like I ever got to read any
one else’s date card, or see the video diaries either.
Oh, the video diaries!! I had forgotten the hundreds of times I had to plop down in front of the camera and
was asked questions or prompted to share my heart.
Can I stop watching now?
I am not sure I can handle this, after
all.
“Oh Hannah it’s your turn.” Chrissy was on cue to pull me back in.
I was there bigger than life. Looking pretty, if I did say so myself. Those makeup artists were very talented.
I held my date card and paused a moment. I looked up at the camera and gave it a sly smile. When did I learn to do
that? I was trying to crawl into the couch cushions.
‘Time to see the sea, you & me. ~ Anthony’
I held the card against my heart and sighed.
Could I be more cheesy?
The next hour and a half was cathartic; watching him make out with Desiree had been the high point. Later
two girls on the group date had spent some personal time with him baring their souls, declaring their love for him.
I felt sorry for them. But then my date was on, it was romantic and the dialogue was as poignant as I remembered
it. We were shown laughing then kissing, and then talking some more. If I could separate my self from it I would
say I was looking at two people in love.
The show ended when he handed out date cards to four girls. He would be spending a week with each
girl’s family. The episodes would break it up and show two girls per week. I remembered feeling so honored to be
picked. I wrote a message on my notebook and showed my mom next to me.
KILL ME NOW!!!
My mom delicately snorted.
The show was finally over and the next week’s preview showed snippets from all four families’ visits. My
parents both blushed when they popped up on screen. Chrissy cheered.
“I am so glad I got that hairstyle. It looks great onscreen!” Chrissy was always just Chrissy.
I excused myself, went to bed, buried my head in a pillow, and sobbed for only a little while. I just didn’t
want to be interviewed by the ever-so-perky cousin or see the sorrow in my parent’s eyes.
I pulled out my Bible and read for a while. I sniffled and always had a tissue box near me. That was
probably my mother, taking care of me behind the scenes.
I wrote down a verse in my journal. One of my favorites:
I prayed for a while trying to remember my faith was not in TV shows or finding the perfect mate, but in
God. I had been working on forgiving Anthony but then put it off. I gave my troubles over to God and let Him lead
me to a peaceful place. I journaled for a few minutes and finally fell to sleep.
The next week was a reprieve for me because the show was focused on the two girls who were soon to
be dumped. I saw the same desperation in their eyes as I felt myself, wanting quality time with the man and mostly,
getting very little. The show always kept me guessing.
I felt myself slipping into a few bad habits during the days leading up to the show. I even started comfort
eating.
My mother was very skilled at comfort food. I noticed that everyone in the family made all sorts of excuses
to stop by and see me and they always brought food. I guess I was the famous relative after all.
Two weeks after being home I had a few friends from high school stop by. They brought brownies. I was
dressed in sweats and would have gladly said I wasn’t home, but I didn’t think lying was a good way to start my day.
My mother let them in and I waved and put on my actress face. My mother made herself scarce so I could visit.
“Wow, Hannah, you look so different than on TV. It must be nice to just hide out from the world.” My
old friend Shellie plopped down on the couch. It had been at least four years since I had talked to her. She was
probably just curious after seeing me on TV.
“Well it’s part of the contract. The more I am seen in public the easier it is for the news media to figure
how the show ends.” I made an effort to put on a friendly smile. “I am sorry I didn’t get dressed up for your visit.
You should have called.”
Really, who doesn’t call anymore?
I swiped a hand at my hair and hoped it looked better than I thought it did.
-Sigh
“Isn’t your brother, Joe, married and settled?” Shellie asked, being polite.
“Yes, he and his wife have visited a few times. My nieces are little angels.”
Shellie had her little sister with her, along with another girl that looked familiar.
“So how often do you and your man, Anthony, get to see each other since he proposed?” Shellie asked. I
kept my composure and gave her a raised eyebrow.
“Now you know I can’t talk about the show. Seriously, I am wondering why you came by.” I looked at
Shellie’s sister and she had a moment of doubt, or was that guilt in her eye?
“I have been so rude. Who is your friend?” I looked at the third woman in the party. She was wearing
jeans and a nice sweater, but I could have sworn I had seen her before in a tailored business suit.
That’s it! A light bulb went off in my head. It was a local newswoman. I couldn’t remember her name… I
put my hand out for an introduction.
“Hi I’m Sandy.” She said with her voice low and smooth, perfect for interviewing.
“You are Sandy Thomas, and you are leaving! All of you.” I ordered.
I walked into the kitchen and took the phone of the wall. I hit the auto dial and within a minute four
security guards were standing next to me. I explained the situation and they went into action, I was escorted to my
room and they walked the visitors out. I saw my reflection in the hallway mirror. Argh! My hair was only a mild
tangle. Just ugly enough to make me cringe a little.
My mother was doing pre-planting in her garden –
probably just wishful thinking with an occasional leaf or dead
plant debris removal.
I thought. She must have heard the racket caused by the women yelling about brutality. I was
trying to block out everything past the point where I kicked them out. It didn’t work. I was a frazzled mess. My
hands were shaking and it didn’t make it any better with their removal. I wanted to blame someone, anyone. I
couldn’t blame my mother because she knew Shellie from when we were buddies years ago. I wondered how
much that reporter offered to pay Shellie for getting her into the house. I hoped it was substantial because I would
never trust her again, I thought bitterly. What kind of friend would do that?
My mother joined me on my bed, I felt like I was fourteen again instead of twenty-six. She apologized
several times. I calmed her down. It wouldn’t do one bit of good to blame anyone. I reasoned ‘we all just needed
to tighten the defenses. No visitors, no questions, and tighter security’.
I sent my mother off to her gardening and putzing and remained in my room. I read a few emails and
snuggled into bed for a good book.
Nothing romantic today
. How about a mystery? I was pulled in quickly and didn’t
notice my hunger or time passage. A good book was the perfect distraction today.
“Hi sweetheart, you want me to bring in dinner or you want to join us. I was just gonna watch the news
then we could watch a DVD.” My Dad was trying to cheer me up. I wondered what movie he had rented.
“I will join you guys in the living room. I can grab my own plate. I am a big girl.” I sat my book down and
jumped up from the bed. Too much moping, I told myself. I needed to move on, soon.
With a full plate of roast chicken and potatoes I joined my parents as the sports news was winding down.
They were talking about Notre Dame basketball. March madness was going to be in full swing soon. Notre Dame
was a few miles away and was always in the news. I tuned it out and discussed my mother’s plans for her garden.
“You know I always want to try something new every year. This year I was planning on a planting a row of
pale tea roses near the front walk.” My mother was thrilled to share her vision.
“That sounds lovely.” I said, I had no idea what a tea rose was but I was a fan of roses in general. What girl
wasn’t? I wanted my mom to know that I was supportive of what she loved.
I heard my name coming from the television and we all stopped what we were saying.
“Dad, rewind it.” He hit rewind on the DVR and we watched in stunned silence.
“Hannah Parker, America’s brunette sweetheart on
Soulmate
was seen today at her Granger, Indiana
hideout.” Sandy Thomas, who had been in her home earlier, was now standing outside their home in one of her
form-fitting tailored suits.
“In an exclusive interview, Hannah seemed tired of hiding and wanted to speak out.”
It looked as if Sandy was in her living room in her suit, how nice. It was her voice that asked the question.
“So how often do you and Anthony get to see each other since he proposed?” My hackles were rising. I had a bad
feeling about this.
“Yes, he has visited a few times.” The camera was pointed at me. There was the smallest edit mark and it
was grainy. Where had she hidden a camera? I looked terrible. My hair was a wreck. My face looked pale and the
quality of the film was poor. They panned back to the outside shot. Sandy was standing on the street outside the
Parker home.
“It seems Hannah Parker has some big plans coming up. I just hope she doesn’t spend the rest of her time
in hiding, the way she did during our interview today.” They went to a still shot of me taking a bite of a brownie,
mouth wide open. I remembered the “intruders” holding brownies and they were taking bites of the treat, but
now they showed me chomping away on one.
“Hannah, be careful. You are too pretty to be a plus-size bride!” Sandy stated with a smirk.
I had seen many cartoons, in my life, where someone’s face turned red and their head actually exploded. I
was pretty certain that my head did that. My dad hit the pause button on the DVR and I fumed. My forgotten
mashed potatoes slid off the plate to the couch. I yelped and then burst into tears as I scooped up mashed
potatoes with my bare hands and plopped it back on the plate.
“That was the most insensitive, bad TV editing I have ever seen.” My mother was pacing.
The phone rang just then and I yelled.
“I am not available!!” I was losing my cool, quickly.
My father answered.
“We did see.” Pause. “No, a high school friend snuck the reporter in.” Pause. “We have taken precautions.
No more visitors.” My dad hung up, headed over to me, and took the plate of food away. My mother brought me
a napkin and I wiped the mess off my hands.
“That was the show. They saw that you said nothing substantial. They just wanted to make sure we had no
more accidents like that.” His voice was suddenly tired. I don’t think we were really ready for this.
“Mom, dad, I am sorry I got us all into this.” I sat down on the floor. All my energy was gone. “This is the
stupidest thing I have ever done. I can’t believe I traded my family’s privacy for a lie. It just isn’t worth it.” I cried on
the floor. I felt sick to my stomach, lonely, stupid and the image of my gaping mouth eating a brownie was replaying
in my head, for extra credit.
They both joined me on the floor as I sobbed. I was pretty certain this was the lowest point of my life.
Chapter 14