Road Trip (13 page)

Willy laughed. “Yeah, mostly.”

“Anyway, I told Chloe that my mom probably just threw them out.”

“Did you ask your mom?” I asked.

“No. But she and Davie are probably still upstairs. I could call and ask her now,” suggested Allie. “Would that help clear things up?”

Laura folded her arms across her chest. “You might as well call her if we're going to finish up our little Spanish Inquisition.”

“Is that how you really feel, Laura?” asked Willy. “I only want to help you girls clear this up—whatever it is.”

“Fine,” Laura sighed in exasperation. And I
could feel myself squirming in my chair. Why hadn't I just kept my big mouth shut?

But Allie was already on the phone. We could hear her asking Elise the question, followed by a long pause as she listened to the response.

“Thanks, Mom.'” Then she hung up and turned back to face us. “Uh, my mom said she didn't do anything with my pills. In fact, she actually thought that Ga been taking them.” Allie sort of smiled. “I guess that's kind of a compliment to me.”

“But not to me.” Laura stood now. “I suppose you all think I'm some sort of drug addict because Allie's stupid pills are missing. So just like that I'm charged as guilty. Right?”

“We're not saying that,” Willy said in a calm voice. “But stranger things have been known to happen on concert tours.”

Laura was pacing now. “Well, it just figures. You guys have ganged up on me before. I'm used to being the minority—”

“What?” I said. “When have we ever ganged up—?”

“You and Allie!” She pointed her finger at us. “You two are always pairing up, and then I get pushed out—”

“Just a minute,” I said. “If anyone's been pushed aside lately, it's been me.”

“Or me,” said Allie. “You and Laura went to lunch the other day and left me behind, and you guys always—”

“Hold on.” Willy held up his hands. “I think we're getting off track here.”

Laura stopped pacing and just stared at us. “I think you're all against me.”

“No one's against anyone,” said Willy. “We're just trying to figure out what's wrong here because something is very definitely wrong.”

“And everyone's pointing the finger at me.” Laura had tears in her eyes now.

“Not really, Laura,” I said. “I actually started this whole thing by saying that I thought I may be the one to blame. I never should've made that accusation. And I told you then that I was sorry. And I'm still sorry.”

Laura was crying now. I went over and put my arm around her shoulders. “I wouldn't have said anything except that you seem so different to me. You used to be like the Rock of Gibraltar. Sometimes Allie or I could be a little flaky, but we could always count on you to be the even-keeled one. But it seems as though you've been moodier than ever. And when I saw those pills missing, well, I just wondered…”

“It's a fairly natural conclusion,” said Willy.

“Thanks a lot!” snapped Laura.

“Although that doesn't make it true,” he continued without even reacting to her barb. I really admire how Willy can keep his cool in every situation. It's a good quality for a manager. “It's
only circumstantial evidence, Laura.”

“So I AM on trial!”

“Ifo one is on trial here.” Willy stood and went over to where Laura and I were already standing. “I think we need to pray.”

Then Allie joined us, and the three of us surrounded Laura as Willy led a prayer. “Dear Heavenly i'ather,” he prayed. “Please, bring Your truth to light. Heal our broken relationships and comfort our hearts as only You can. And finally, we ask that You would bind us together in Your gracious love.”

Then we all said, “Amen.”

“I told my mom I'd call her this afternoon.” Laura wiped her nose. “Are we done here?”

“I guess so,” said Willy. But I could tell by his expression that he was still concerned.

After Laura left, I asked Willy if he thought I'd been wrong to confront Laura last week.

“That's between you and God, Chloe.”

“I know. But what do you really think? Would you have done it?”

He slowly nodded. “Under the circumstances and knowing the pressure that you girls are under, I'm sure I would've.”

“Do you think Laura has actually been taking my Ritalin?”

“It's possible, Allie,” said Willy. “And in Laura's defense, you need to understand that
these things can and do happen. We all know she's had a really hard time on this trip. First it was the sleeping problem, and then she couldn't get herself going…” He sighed and shook his head. “I think there's a possibility that Ghloe is right on.”

Allie looked troubled. “But what do we do now?”

“There's not much we can do unless Laura actually admits to it. There's always the chance that we're all wrong. She may be telling the truth. Ibr her sake I hope so.”

“But where did the Ritalin go?”

Willy studied us both then grinned. “Who knows? Maybe I took it. Or Rosy. Or Elise.”

“Yeah, sure,” said Allie. “And maybe Davie took it, and that's why he's so wired. Although they might not work like that on him since he doesn't have ADD. It's funny how that drug works one way on one person and completely the opposite on the other.”

Willy went over to the table and started cleaning up our snack mess. “I've heard the street value on uppers like that could be up to thirty dollars a pop.”

“Wow, good thing I didn't know that back during my godless, rebellious period,” Allie said as she threw the empty soda cans in the trash. “I might've become a drug dealer.”

“Yeah, I can just see you pushing pills back in middle school,”I teased.

“Hey, we all know it happens.”

“But getting back to the problem,” I said. “What should we do now?”

“Well, until we can figure this out, I'd suggest you girls keep a close eye on Laura without her feeling as if she's being spied on. And try not to treat her differently. She's already feeling very sensitive, and the last thing she needs is to feel like we're all against her. Because we're not. She needs to know that we love her regardless of anything that may or may not be going on.”

“Unconditionally,” said Allie.

“That's right,” I added. “The same way God loves us.”

It's not much of a plan, but for the time being it's all we have. Well, that and a lot of prayer. Once again it feels as if Redemption hangs in the balance. Will we ever get beyond these challenges, or will our band simply become obsolete before we have a chance to really make it big? To be perfectly honest, it makes me mad. Ifot at Laura exactly, because if she's really using drugs, I know she must be feeling totally horrible. Kaybe I'm mad at Satan, because I know, according to God's Word, that he wants to destroy us. And I'm sure drugs could do that. So I'll set my heart to continue loving Laura despite all this and trust God with the rest.

(BROKEN IN BALTIMORE)

I feel as if I've been walking on eggshells the past couple days—trying to love Laura, attempting to encourage her, and yet constantly offending her. Or so it seems. I don't understand why she's so defensive. Doesn't she know how much we love her? Yet no matter what I say, she seems to take it the wrong way. I complimented her on her outfit yesterday, and she went and changed her clothes!

She also seems very secretive, or maybe she just wants her privacy, which I can sort of understand because I'm a fairly private person myself. But the last few days she's either locked in the bedroom in the back of the bus, or on her cell phone, or just plain checked out behind a book. And this makes it difficult to “keep an eye on her” like Willy suggested. Worse than that, it seems to confirm my suspicions. I feel fairly certain that she's using something.

How I must say that it still seems very weird to think this about her. After all, Laura is the last person on the planet you would ever suspect
to have a drug problem. She never liked being around the kids who were known to use either drugs or alcohol. In fact, she didn't even like to be around anyone who smoked. Laura used to be a real zero-tolerance kind of girl. I wish that were still true, but deep in my gut I really believe she's using.

However, I've decided not to discuss this with anyone for the time being, Ifot until we know something for sure. I'm hoping that Willy and Allie will come to their own conclusions. Also, Elise and Rosy have been informed that we might have trouble.

I think I've gotten over feeling mad about this whole nasty business, and the fact that Laura might have a drug problem doesn't make me love her any less. If anything, I think I love her more because I can see how vulnerable she is right now. Not that I approve of drugs. I certainly do NOT. I've seen way too many lives wrecked because of drugs. Including my brother Galeb's.

But it still bugs me that Laura won't come clean and admit that something's up. Of course, at the same time, this also makes me question myself. I've actually wondered whether I had just imagined the whole thing. Like maybe Laura was getting framed for something she hadn't even done. Grud, I'm sure that alone could make you act pretty weird. But something happened
tonight that makes me believe I must be right.

We were in the middle of our performance in Baltimore when Laura started falling apart. First she was just missing it on bass and fading out on vocals. But then she quit playing altogether in the middle of our “Safety Zone” song—which really needs a strong bass, not to mention her voice, to make it sound good. Anyway, Allie and I managed to finish up the song, but I know it must've sounded pretty lame.

Then I turned around to look at Laura, and she was standing there with tears streaming down her face. So, feeling rattled and nervous, I started talking to the audience. Thinking I'd buy her some time to get herself back together, I tried to use this moment to connect with the crowd. Besides, I reminded myself, it's not that odd to take a little break to talk to the audience in the middle of a concert. Cool things can happen when we do that.

“You know, I need to remind you that we're real people,” I told them. “Sometimes when you're just jiving at a concert, you forget that the bands onstage are made up of living, breathing people. We can get tired or bummed or even constipated occasionally.” This brought a few good laughs. “But I guarantee you that we are very real. And like you guys, we have very real problems.”

About this time Michael came onto the stage
and started whispering something to Laura. He already had his bass strapped on, and I could tell he was offering to step in for her.

“And tonight our bass player, Laura Kitchell, is having a really tough time. But normally she is the hottest bass player around…” Then I nodded in Kichael's direction. “Well, other than Michael White from Iron Gross, that is.” At the sound of that name the crowd burst into cheers and applause, Michael took a cheesy little bow, and Laura slipped backstage.

“You gonna join us girls tonight, Michael?” I asked.

He grinned. “If you'll have me.”

I turned to the crowd. “What do you think? Will we have Michael White, the bass player from Iron Gross?”

Naturally they all cheered wildly, and we began to play again. I realized that Michael didn't know all our songs, but he's such a great bass player that he just jumped right in and really jammed with us. Of course, he didn't know the lyrics, but he did a good job adding his own creative bits of harmony, and I don't think we sounded too bad. What could^e been a total disaster actually turned into a pretty cool performance. Thank God!

Laura had already returned to the hotel by the time we finished up. Willy put her in a cab,
then called Elise and instructed her to meet Laura in the lobby.

“What're we gonna do now?” Allie asked as the three of us huddled backstage.

“Should we end the tour?”I spoke the words I hated to hear.

“I don't know.” Willy sighed and shook his head. “Maybe so. It looks like Laura is falling apart on us.”

“I wish she'd tell us what's going on,” I said. “I don't even care if it is drugs. I just want her to be honest about it.”

Willy rubbed his chin. “We may need to confront her. Ifot tonight though. I have a feeling she'll be too wiped out to talk. We'll have a meeting of the minds in the morning.”

“Do you need to let Omega know?” I asked weakly. “Will they cancel our contract now?”

“I'm not sure what our next step should be. Let's all pray about it, and then tomorrow we'll do what needs to be done. We still don't know for sure that Laura's using anything. She may just be stressed out.”

“Do you really believe that?” asked Allie.

He looked at the floor. “No, not really.”

And so I've been praying for Laura all night. Willy was right; she had crashed by the time we got back to the hotel. I'm sure she didn't want to see any of us.

(BOSTON BLUES)

We confronted Laura yesterday morning. We knew we had a full day of travel ahead of us, and Willy suggested we just get it over with right after we
finished breakfast in the hotel restaurant.

I have to say that Tve never seen Laura looking so blue before. It's as if her face were hanging clear down to her knees. She hadn't said a single word and barely touched her food. I really felt sorry for her, but I think we handled it just right.