Resistance (The Institute Series Book 2) (19 page)

“You’re giving us your house?”

“Well it’s not really giving it if it’s not even mine to begin with, is it? It technically belongs to the Resistance.”

“I was so wrong about you,” I say, smiling.

“Wrong?”

“When I first met you, my first impression was that you were just another Brookfield; working for the Institute to make your way through the ranks and into the political world. I didn’t think you cared about us at all.”

He gives me a wry smile. “Then I guess I’m good at what I do. I have to be like that when I’m there. And I guess you’re half right. I am working my way through the ranks so I can have a political advantage, but it’s not the only reason I’m there. We’re going to do it, you know. You, me, the others. We’re going to change the world.”

I can’t help but admire the certainty to his optimism.

When we walk into the meeting, everyone is already in their places. Paxton makes his way to the panel and I step up to the podium. There are no pleasantries or greetings today.

“I’ll do it,” I say confidently. Five surprised faces stare back at me, two pretend shocked faces join them. We’ll need some time to put the plan we came up with yesterday into motion, and to recruit some possible helpers to come with us, so until then, I have to play nice. “I’ll do this baby thing.” It’s hard not to gag on the words. “However, I do request that this is taken purely as a science experiment. I’m not interested in a courtship. I’m not interested in becoming Cyrus’s fourth wife. I would like to do this without even being in the same room as him.” I force myself to look at Cyrus as I say this. I hope to see evidence of his ego taking a hit, but he doesn’t look surprised.

“That’s understandable,” Millie says.

“We’ll get started on it this month,” Belle states. “Where are you in your cycle?”

“Excuse me?” I exclaim. I said the same thing when Paxton asked this while making this crazy plan. He needed to know how long we had before I had to be out of here; before they could try for this baby. “I think I’ll leave timing up to the doctor. I can discuss such matters with her.”

“Just give us a timeframe for when this could take place, Allira,” Belle sighs.

“About two weeks,” I reply, rolling my eyes. I’m totally lying though. The perfect time to do this would be now, but there is no way I’m going to admit that. They would drag my aunt here this afternoon to get this started.

“Well that certainly explains the current surliness,” Cyrus jokes. It takes a confident man to make such a comment when the women in the room out number him five to one. The two other men on the panel know better than to laugh at that.

“Okay. Well until then, you’re still assigned to recruitment,” Belle says. “Your abilities are still an asset to us so punishing you for keeping them hidden will only punish
us
.”

“To be fair, I only hid one from you,” I mutter under my breath. Paxton stifles a laugh and I realise I wasn’t as quiet as I thought.

“This also goes without saying,” Belle continues, “but you’ll no longer be permitted to share a residence with Chad.”

My mouth falls open.

“We can’t risk an accidental pregnancy,” she clarifies.

“You can’t—”

“That’s not an issue,” Paxton cuts me off. “I’ve already offered Allira a room at my place.” He glares at me, his icy stare telling me to let this go.

“Thank you for showing leniency,” I say, turning and walking out before Belle has a chance to say anything else.

The warm air hits me as I walk outside in the morning light. The street is as it usually is – busy with people going about their daily business. Some heading to work, some to breakfast. None of them are aware that their whole world is about to be turned upside down.

I start making my way down to the training arena. That nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach churns harder the closer I get, and I know it’s because of what I’m going to have to do. It’s so familiar because I had it for three months working as an agent for the Institute, all the while relaying information to the Resistance.

I’m greeted by stares, a lot of them. I’m guessing the news of my double ability has gotten out. Hayden comes running up to me, along with the other kid from the other night, Arlo.

“Is it true?” Arlo asks.

“Do you really have a double ability like Cyrus?” Hayden asks.

“News travels fast around here then,” I say, trying to pass it off like it’s not a big deal. “So what do you think? Am I a total freak now?”

“What?” Hayden asks. “Hell no – you’re badass!”

“Just like Cyrus,” Arlo adds.

That
is what I’m afraid of.

I need to gauge just which of these trainees will come with us and who are loyal to Cyrus. I look around at everyone and I get a sudden pinch of guilt rush through me. I don’t know how the military do it – how they choose who to march into the line of fire. Who decides which ones get to live and which ones most likely get sent to their deaths?

Chapter Fifteen

Chad comes to find me after training ends. It’s been a long and exhausting day, and I don’t really have the energy to deal with him right now. We approach each other, both of us just as cautious as the other. We look into each other’s eyes, waiting for the other to speak. I’m about to concede defeat and break the silence when…

“So I hear you have a new residence,” he says, emotionless.

“Uh, yeah. Who—”

“Paxton came to see me. Are you ready to go? I’ve organised a car.”

“I just have to get stuff from the bunker first – clothes and things.”

“Okay.” He holds out his hand and I take it in mine. The gesture, so normal and reflexive, feels so foreign and forced in this moment.

We walk back to our bunker in complete silence, politely smiling and nodding to others as they walk by.

“I shouldn’t be long,” I say as we arrive to the claustrophobia-inducing room. I think I’ve only put up with it for as long as I have because there hasn’t been anywhere else to go – and wanting to be with Chad, of course. “Were you going to get some stuff too? Come with me to Paxton’s? I know we’re not meant to, but I couldn’t care less what they think. They can’t stop us from being together.”

“I’m not …  I can’t …” he struggles to find the words. “I’m going to stay here,” he chokes out.

I sigh. “Can we not be
that
couple?”

“What couple?” he asks, annoyed.

“The couple who fall apart because of a little fight. Can’t we just ignore the metaphorical elephant in the room and be happy for what we have?”

“What
do
we have? You’re leaving me.”

“Paxton gave his place to both of us,” I reply before realising he is not talking about tonight. I’m leaving him to go back to the Institute and I don’t know when or if I’ll ever return.

“You know that’s not what I mean,” he says. “I figure why put off the inevitable? I may as well just stay here.”

I shake my head in shock when I realise just what he is saying. “So you are willing to end this now, instead of spending what time we do have left, together?”

“I think it will be easier this way,” he says quietly.

“Easier? How will it be easier? Because you’ll be able to move on quicker if you’re still angry at me for doing this?” He winces but doesn’t reply. He really
does
think it will be easier that way. “It doesn’t matter how you’re feeling right now. If you do this, if you end us, I…”

I don’t know how to finish that sentence. I don’t know what will happen. I’d like to say he would regret it, but maybe he won’t. “If our plan works, it won’t even have to be goodbye. It’s a good plan. Have you even spoken to Paxton about it?” I ask, clinging to any last grasp of hope.

“Anything that puts you in the line of danger is not worth it,” he says.

“I don’t know why you’re being like this. You know what I had doubts about when we first got together? That I wouldn’t be enough for you.” His eyebrows go up at this, like it’s surprised him. “Ever since I met you, you’ve been all about this cause. Everything you’ve done, everything you’ve worked towards has been for the Resistance. I was worried that if it came down to it, you would pick the Resistance over me. Now you have a chance to really do something, and you won’t.”

“Maybe I don’t think this is what’s best for the group as a whole. Maybe I found something I want more than equal rights. I want a life – any life – with you.”  He pulls me in close, wrapping his arms around my waist. Tears start falling on my cheeks as I realise this could be the last time I feel his touch, his skin against mine, his warm breath on my cheek. He leans down, touching his lips to mine. “Stay with me?” he asks breaking our lips away for just a moment.

I don’t know if he means just tonight or indefinitely, but I seize the moment to cherish what time we do have left, even if it’s only a few hours. Tomorrow I will carry on with our plan and he will go back to being angry at me for leaving him. But right now, he’s mine and I’m his.

I force myself to go slow, to memorise every contour of his body; his lips, his hands, the way he holds me close. I take my time, knowing that once it’s over, I have to walk out that door.

***

I feel horrible sneaking out in the middle of the night, grabbing my things, the car keys and just leaving while Chad sleeps, but I’m beginning to think he’s right. It really is easier this way.

But as soon as I start to drive, I realise what truly just happened. I finally know what it’s like to be connected to someone so deeply. To feel the kind of closeness that’s too hard to articulate. I’ve heard others try to describe it, but it just doesn’t compare.

I tell myself I should go back, but I don’t end up building enough nerve to make the U-turn. Arriving at Paxton’s house – well I guess it’s
my
house now – I light the fireplace. There’s no point in trying to get to sleep right now.

The sound of footsteps and voices startles me, and I turn to see Paxton, Drew and Licia coming out of the kitchen. I quickly wipe the tears from my eyes. “What are you guys doing here? Paxton, I thought you were going back today?”

“I was meant to but Drew …” he pauses, “Is everything okay?” He cocks his head to the side, examining my face, which I’m guessing is blotchy and red from crying.

“Oh I’m fine. Just tired I guess.”

“Where’s Chad?” Paxton asks and I burst into tears again at his name. Ugh, I really need someone to slap me out of this. “Oh, I’m so sorry Allira. I really thought he would come around.”

I guess it’s obvious Chad and I broke up. “I don’t really want to talk about it. Can we change the subject, please?”

Drew sniggers, “How about this for a subject change: want to infiltrate the Institute tonight?” The hint of excitement in his voice suggests he isn’t joking.

“Are you serious? We weren’t meant to leave for a few more days.”

“The plan we worked out has some merit,” Drew says. “But for it to work we need a few things to go our way, and chances are they won’t. I don’t really see Brookfield buying that we escaped to be on our own and have since decided that it’s too hard and we want to come back. He’s not going to just welcome us back in, especially not as agents. I thought of an alternative, but didn’t want to mention it in front of everyone until I asked her if she’d be okay with it.”

“Who?” I ask.

“If we were to return from assignment with our target …” Drew gestures to Licia, “it will be much more believable.”

I look to Licia, “You’re okay with that?”

She nods, “I want to help. You helped me when my only future was being arrested. You gave me another chance at life. I want to do that for every Defective person out there.”

“Are you sure you want to do this? You’ll be giving up your freedom,” I say.

“And working towards the freedom of others. Besides, it’s not like I’ll really be giving anything up. Not the way we’ve planned it, anyway.”

I smile. I’m impressed, proud of her even. I think about the logistics. “But we were going to recruit from here and inside the Institute. How will we do that if we go tonight?”

“Your mum will put the plan to everyone tomorrow, publicly – after everything is already in motion. I know there will be a lot of people who want to help, we just need to give them a little push. This is a way of recruiting people without going behind the back of the council,” Paxton says.

“How do we explain the absence of our tracking bracelets? It made sense in the original plan that we got rid of them so we could escape,” I ask.

“Ah,” Paxton says, standing up and walking to his bedroom. He returns with a square metal box. He opens it to reveal four tracking bracelets inside.

“What are they doing here? How have they not come to find us?” I ask, worried.

Paxton takes one out and points to where the clasp is covered with some kind of thick metal. “They can’t find you if there’s no signal. They use old satellite technology to track you. With very few satellites left – and even less that our country has access to – it’s fairly easy to hide from them. They don’t tell you about that though. If agents knew how easy it was to get away, I’m sure more would attempt it. I went back to your place the night you first arrived, disabled the tracking mechanism and cleaned up the house. That broken chair, the tracking bracelets, I took care of it all.”

“I knew you were thorough, but damn, that’s borderline obsessive,” I say. Paxton smiles like he took that as a compliment, even though I didn’t really mean it as one. “Okay, so we go back with Licia and then what? How do we get everyone who’s willing to help us from here to there?” I ask.

“That’s the brilliant part,” Drew smiles. “We get the Institute to bring them in themselves.”

“We’re going to turn them all in?” I ask angrily. “What about those who aren’t willing to help? They’ll take all of them! We won’t be giving them a choice. That’s not what I want.”

“Anyone unwilling to help will go underground in the desert. We’ll give the Institute the co-ordinates to the Fields. They’ll do a small radius search in the area, but they will realise there isn’t anything close. Everything a small group requires to live is in that vicinity. They won’t go searching any further.”

“But how long can they live in the desert? There are no crops out there and we’ll be giving up the location of their only food source.”

“They’ll have enough to get them by for a few weeks, even a few months. I’m sure this will all be over by then, and if not, there are other places they can get food from. They can hunt roos – there are plenty out that way. The woods provide enough greens and we’ll be sure to give them the chickens from the Fields. All precautionary of course, because Allira, we are going to succeed,” Paxton says optimistically.

Drew clears his throat. I’ve let my guard down since not spending much time with him lately and I realise he can sense my distrust in him and this alternate plan of his. “It’s understandable that you feel that way. I’d like to say that it doesn’t bother me, but you know it does. Let me prove to you that I’m not the same guy I was six months ago.”

I want to believe him but can someone really change in only six months? Can someone really change at all? Deep down, aren’t we the same person we’ve always been? Someone may be able to change their attitude or their actions, but on some level, aren’t we who we are, who we’ll always be?

“Sometimes you just meet someone and they make you want to be a better person,” he continues.

I awkwardly glance away and look at Licia who’s staring at Drew like he just said the most romantic thing ever. I roll my eyes. She looks at me and I swear it’s almost like she’s asking me,
‘Why aren’t you two together, again?’

I know what Drew means though. For me, the guy who makes me want to be a better person is Chad. And here I am, taking that step to being a better person and breaking his heart in the process. I take in a deep breath, “So when do we leave?”

“We’re ready when you are.”

He could have just as easily punched me in the stomach, it would’ve had the same effect.

I nod. “I’ll just gather my stuff.”

I walk to the bedroom before realising I have to leave everything behind. I left my job as an agent with nothing, I need to go back with nothing. I use the few minutes to sit on the bed and catch my breath.

***

“What’s it like there?” Licia asks from the backseat of the car as Paxton drives along the sloped winding road on the other side of the mountain.

I’m feeling lightheaded and weird. It’s an odd sensation, but I assume it’s from the curves in the road, even though I didn’t get car sick on our trip to the Resistance. Maybe it’s because we’re in Paxton’s hatchback and not the monstrous four-wheel drive this time. I try to shrug it off and focus on Licia’s question. I turn and look at Drew who’s in the back with her and we exchange looks, deliberating on what to tell her – the truth? Or a lie to ease her mind?

“If you co-operate, it can be quite pleasant,” Drew says.

“And if I don’t?” she asks.

“You don’t want to know,” I respond. “Unless you enjoy pain and lots of it.”

“Oh,” Licia replies.

I begin to wonder what the others at the Resistance will think of us. All three of us have only been there a couple of weeks and we are about to betray their whole lifestyle, the whole system.

“What are you smiling at?” Paxton asks.

“The council’s reaction to me leaving,” I reply. “I wish I could be there to see it.”

“I guess this will really stuff up their ‘super baby’ plans.” He laughs.

“Super baby?” Licia asks.

“So you didn’t fill her in on that part?” He shakes his head. “It’s a long story,” I reply to Licia.

As we get closer to our drop off point, my right leg jumps like a jackhammer against the car floor. Paxton grabs my leg hard, holding it down.

“Stop,” he says. “Please stop.”

“Sorry. I’m just nervous. I can’t believe I’m going back. Voluntarily, I might add.”