Remembrance (The Transcend Time Saga) (17 page)

CHAPTER 27

It was noon when I awoke, and I replayed the events from the night before in my mind, wondering again if it was a dream. It would have been a very realistic dream—but I wouldn’t have woken up so late if none of it had happened.

Then I remembered about Drew breaking up with Chelsea. She was going to be devastated. My backpack still sat where my mom placed it the night before, and I walked over to it, dreading all of the missed calls that I was bound to see on my cell phone.

There were six—five from Chelsea and one from Drew. The voicemail box blinked on the top of the screen, and I stared at it for a few seconds before pressing send and raising the phone to my ear. The recorded voice told me that I had three new messages. I sat on the floor to listen, leaning against the wall as they began to play.

“Lizzie?” Chelsea’s voice wavered, catching in her throat. “Call me when you get this. I need to talk to you.”

There was no question about what she was referring to. She must have called right after Drew broke up with her. 

The next was the click of a phone hanging up.

“Lizzie?” Chelsea sniffed on the third message. “It’s 11 in the morning … where are you? Did you forget to charge your phone again? I really need to talk to you. Call me back when you get this.”

I deleted all of the messages, unable to listen to any more of Chelsea’s crying. It was partly my fault that she was so upset. The second to last bar of the battery gage blinked and disappeared, and I walked over to my desk, plugging the nearby charger into the bottom of the phone. I stared at the lit screen, knowing I had to call Chelsea back. Drew wanted me to think through my decision, but I’d already made it. I wanted to be with him.

“Look who’s finally up.” My mom opened the door, poking her head into my room. “Chelsea called the house twice this morning. She sounded upset—you might want to call her back. Did you forget to charge your cell?”

“Yeah,” I said, figuring that leaving it on silent was close enough. “I guess I stayed up reading longer than I realized.” The excuse came easily, and while I felt awful for lying, I knew better than to tell her the real reason I slept so late.

“I ate breakfast without you,” she apologized. “I couldn’t wait any longer, and I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“That’s okay,” I said, smiling to let her know that I didn’t mind. “I’m not that hungry, anyway.” 

She closed the door to let me get ready for the day and I grabbed my phone to call Chelsea back. It rang three times, and I hoped she wouldn’t pick up. It was an awful thought to have, but at least it could buy me some time before dealing with the reality of the situation.

“Hey.” She picked up mid-way through the fourth ring. “Where have you been? I’ve called you a million times.”

“I forgot to take my phone off silent,” I explained. “What’s going on?” 

“Drew broke up with me.” Her voice was flat as she told me what I already knew. “He said ‘we weren’t meant to be’—whatever that means.”

I knew too well.

“Wow,” I said, hoping it was enough to convince her that I was shocked at the news. “Are you okay?”

“I just don’t get it,” she continued, ignoring the question. It was obvious she wasn’t okay—not that I expected otherwise. “He was the first guy I ever loved, and I thought he felt the same way. Then he just changed his mind.”

I leaned my head against the wall. “Do you want me to come over?”

“Yeah,” she answered, the waver I heard from the messages returning to her voice. “How about we watch a movie? Anything to get my mind off him.”

“Okay,” I agreed, forcing a smile even though she couldn’t see it through the phone. “I’ll be over in a bit.”

“Thanks.” She breathed a sigh of relief. “You’re the best friend ever.”

I said bye and stood to look in the full-length mirror on my wall. The guilt shined all over my face, even from a distance. There was no way I could fool Chelsea. The only thing I could hope for was that she was too upset about Drew breaking up with her to notice anything off about me.

I rushed to get ready, not bothering to change out of the sweatpants I’d thrown on after Drew dropped me back off at the house that morning. The walk down the stairs felt more like I was heading to a trial where I was the guilty defendant instead of about to go to my best friend’s house, and I counted each step until reaching the bottom, somehow resisting the urge to run back up to my room.

“Going to Chelsea’s?” my mom called from her office.

“Yeah,” I answered, opening the closet doors to grab my coat. “Drew broke up with her.”

“That’s why she sounded so upset this morning,” she said, nodding in understanding. “You’re a great friend to her. I know you’ll help her through this.”

“Right.” I cringed at the notion of me as a great friend, dreading how much I was about to have to lie to Chelsea. “I’ll see you later.”

* * *

The drive to Chelsea’s felt shorter than normal. I sat in my car after pulling into the driveway, staring at her white wood paneled house that resembled a large cottage. I didn’t have much time to think about what I was going to say, because the garage door started to open, grumbling like a dinosaur opening its mouth to capture its prey.

Chelsea stood inside of the garage, looking like she was recently run over by a piece of heavy machinery. Her jeans had large holes at the knees, and the red sweatshirt she wore was about three sizes too big for her. She looked like a giant cherry. Her shiny hair was in a messy bun on top of her head, and the rims of her eyes were pink, most likely from crying.

“Hey Chels,” I said, stepping into her house, trying to pretend that everything was normal. “How’re you feeling?”

“Fine.” She shoved her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. “Do you want to watch a movie?”

“Okay,” I said, looking down at the hardwood floor. “Your room?”

She nodded, spinning around and walking towards the steps without another word. There wasn’t much to be said that hadn’t been discussed over the phone, and I knew to wait until we were upstairs to talk about Drew and the breakup. Chelsea would bring it up when she was ready, but I doubted there was much I could say to make her feel better. With Hannah, I told her what an awful person Sheldon was and how she deserved better, but the idea of saying anything bad about Drew felt unnatural and wrong.

The first thing I noticed when we got to her room was that one of the light wood nightstands next to her bed was covered in used tissues. A few more scattered across her comforter. All her drapes were closed, and none of her lamps were on. Only the dim light in the overhead fan made it possible to see. Even though the room was huge, I felt like I’d just walked into a dungeon.

“I just can’t believe this happened.” She shook her head in disbelief, falling onto her bed like a Southern belle in a dramatic movie. “Everything was great and then suddenly … we’re not ‘meant to be.’” She held up her fingers in makeshift quote signs.

I sat on the bed next to her, finding an area devoid of tissues. “If he said something like that to you, maybe you
weren’t
meant to be,” I suggested, worried that she might not be too happy to hear what I had to say. “Someone you were meant to be with would never treat you like that.”

“No.” She shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. “We were perfect together. He was the gorgeous new guy from the city, and I always knew I wanted to move out of New Hampshire after high school. He also listened to me when I talked—which is more than I can say about any other guy I’ve dated. It was perfect.”

“Maybe.” I shrugged, bringing my feet up on the bed and scooting closer to her. “But you’ll find someone, Chels. Every guy at school loves you.”

“But none of them are Drew.” She sniffed, grabbing another tissue out of the box and blowing her nose. “He was different, Lizzie. There was something special about him—something I can’t explain.”

I nodded in understanding. She didn’t have to explain, because I already knew how enticing Drew Carmichael could be. She cried for a few seconds more and I tried conjuring up something helpful to say, but nothing came to mind.

“But I’ve been thinking about it,” she continued, taking a deep breath and dropping the tissue on the bed next to her. “He might not like the idea of commitment, especially since he just moved here. Maybe he’s thinking we jumped into the relationship too fast. He’ll realize that breaking up with me was a mistake, and everything will be back to the way it was.”

I fought back the urge to tell her that was impossible. “You can’t count on that happening,” I said, hugging my knees to my chest. “I don’t mean to say it won’t, but you shouldn’t get your hopes up. Then it’ll be even worse.”

She shook her head, laughing. “My dad said the same thing.”

“You talked with your dad about this?”

“You didn’t pick up your phone,” she said, sounding annoyed. “Tiffany’s been busy at college and probably doesn’t want to worry about her little sister’s latest boy drama. I didn’t want to bother Keelie about it, and our old friends would have been less than sympathetic.”

“Knowing you, you’ll be over him in a few days,” I said, tilting my head and managing a half smile. “Aren’t you the one always telling me how you never get attached in relationships?”

“It’s different with Drew,” she insisted. “He’ll come around though. I know it.”

I wanted to tell her she was wrong—Drew was mine and it was over between them. But it wasn’t the right time.

I had a feeling there would never be a right time.

She reached to pick up the remote from her nightstand. “Let’s just watch the movie,” she said, turning the TV on. “There’s no need to make myself more upset, especially since he’ll come around soon.”

“Right.” I nodded, even though she had no idea how wrong she was. I had to tell her soon. If I didn’t, it wouldn’t be long until she discovered everything herself, and if that happened, it wasn’t going to be pretty.

CHAPTER 28

Unlike the past few weeks when I arrived to school late to avoid Drew, I got there early on Monday morning to get a seat next to the door, placing my bag on the chair next to me to save it for Chelsea. I would have liked to sit next to Drew, but giving away any clues about what was going on between us would be a bad idea. Chelsea needed some cooling off time after the break-up. It would be hard to pretend like everything was the same between Drew and me as it had been a week ago, but it was best for everyone that way.

When Drew walked into the room, he winked when his eyes met mine, smirking at the unspoken secret between us. Only one other student was also there so early—Lindsey Newman—and she moved her head from me to him and back again, a quizzical look passing over her face. I lowered my eyes, pretending nothing happened.

The rustic smell of pinecones drifted by as Drew walked past me, and he placed a torn sheet of paper on my desk before continuing to his usual seat on the opposite side of the room. Once he passed, I brushed my fingers against the paper, inching it closer. His scratchy handwriting was in the center. A few strands of hair fell across my face as I read the note:

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting

The soul that rises with us, our life's star

Hath had elsewhere its setting

And cometh from afar.

I instantly recognized the Wordsworth poem we read a few weeks ago in English class. It was an excerpt from the “Intimations of Immortality” Ode. Wordsworth believed in reincarnation, and the stanza perfectly embodied the current situation. Underneath the poem was a short note:

The lake. Tonight.

I love you.

-Drew

I lifted my head to look at him, only to discover that he was watching me as I read it. Despite telling myself earlier that I wouldn’t sneak out again, I nodded in affirmation, smiling at the idea of going out on the boat with him once more.

Of course, the sneaking out would only last until I gathered enough courage to tell Chelsea about Drew and me.

If I ever managed to do that. 

A group of three girls entered and went to the opposite side of the room near Drew. Lara was in the center, and she looked at him, tilting her head and smiling to try getting his attention. I supposed that word of his and Chelsea’s breakup was already out. He smirked and shook his head, glancing at me before reaching down to get his books from his bag. I folded the note and tucked it into an inner pocket of my bag since Chelsea would be there soon, zipping it shut for protection.

I sketched in the margins of my notebook while waiting for class to begin to keep my focus away from Drew, not wanting to clue anyone in to the fact that anything was going on between the two of us. The last thing I wanted was the entire school catching on before I mustered up the courage to tell Chelsea myself. If everyone already knew about Drew and Chelsea breaking up, I didn’t want to know how short it would take for word to spread about how they broke up because Drew and I were now together.

Chelsea walked through the door and smiled when she saw me. She glanced at Drew, her eyes dimming at the sight of him, and walked over to remove my bag from where I’d placed it on the chair next to me. “Thanks for saving me a seat,” she said, sitting down and looking around the room. She paused when she got to Drew, and a scowl formed on her face when he ignored her. She tried to act unaffected by the exchange and turned back to face me.  

“Of course,” I said, glad that I hid the note before she arrived. It was illogical for me to think she would look inside my bag, but just the fact that it was there made me slightly paranoid. “I figured you wouldn’t want to sit where you usually do.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, leaning back in the seat and crossing one leg over the other. “Everyone totally knows, and first period hasn’t even started.”

“Everyone doesn’t know,” I said, examining who was there. “I bet Katie doesn’t.” I lowered my voice so the dark-haired girl sitting by herself at the end of the table didn’t overhear.

“That’s because she has no friends.” Chelsea didn’t bother to lower her voice, and I cringed at her lack of sensitivity. “But I bet even she’ll know by the end of the day.”

I shrugged, knowing she was probably right. Mrs. Wilder arrived before I could reply, and the class quieted down from their discussions about what they’d done over the weekend as she started to lecture on Europe in the 1600’s.

Chelsea paid a strange amount of attention to the lecture, taking three pages of notes in her boxy handwriting. She was a detailed note taker, but that was even extreme for her. However, it was an effective way to not look at Drew, so I tried to do the same thing, even though my notes weren’t as detailed as hers.

Throughout class, I kept thinking of the night before, reciting the Wordsworth poem in my mind. There were so many questions I wanted to ask Drew, and I hoped that the poem he chose meant he would answer them. It took all of my strength to not lift my head and catch his eyes again, and when the bell rang, I shut my notebook in relief.

“That was awkward,” Chelsea muttered, packing her books in her bag. “At least I have Jeremy to sit with in English, but chemistry will be like a torture chamber.”

“You’ll do fine.” I tried to be encouraging.

“Maybe I’ll accidentally blow something up in his face.” She laughed, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

I scrunched my nose at the image.

“Chill out,” she said. “I was just kidding. I’ll see you later.”

She walked to her next class with so much confidence that no one would have guessed that she’d just had her heart broken. Another pang of guilt swept through my chest. Lying to her was awful, but I didn’t have another option at the moment.

I would tell her the truth soon—just not today.

* * *

“Are you okay sitting with Jeremy and the guys on the team?” Chelsea asked while we waited in the lunch line, taking a Diet Coke out of the refrigerator.

“That’s fine,” I agreed. “I guess Jeremy and I are still friends. We’re not fighting or anything.”

“Good.” She smiled. “I still think you should consider getting back together with him.”

I shook my head and reached inside the fridge to pull out a bottle of water. “That’s not going to happen,” I said, not wanting to discuss it any further.

“He thinks it will,” she said playfully.

I paused, surprised at the arrogance of the statement. “He said that?”

“Yeah.” She shrugged, twisting the top off the bottle and taking a sip. “He said you two are just on a break.”

“A break?” I repeated, even though I knew I’d heard her right. Getting back together with Jeremy was a mutual decision that I in no way intended to make. “On second thought, maybe we should sit in the commons again.”

“Chelsea! Lizzie!” Keelie called from the center of the cafeteria. “Come sit with us!”

Chelsea didn’t acknowledge my comment, instead walking towards the packed table in the middle of the room. After making sure there were seats available that weren’t near Jeremy, I followed her, focusing my tray as I walked.

Jeremy looked up and grinned when we got to the table. I managed a half-smile in return, scanning the area in hopes of locating Drew. He sat at a table in the corner with Garrett and Craig from his set design class and three sophomore girls I didn’t know, appearing to only be half listening to their conversation. Chelsea pretended she didn’t see him, and she slid into a seat next to Brad Carson, a member of the soccer team who happened to not be in a relationship. He was lanky with light brown hair; not Chelsea’s type, but he sat in just the right to place to give Drew a perfect angle of her flirting. I chose an empty seat across from her, since it was far enough from Jeremy that it wouldn’t be awkward between the two of us. Not that it looked like I would have to worry—Amber was sitting so close to him that if I didn’t know better, I would think she was on his lap. She reminded me of Lydia from
Pride and Prejudice
, who threw herself all over the soldiers the same way that Amber was throwing herself at the guys on the soccer team. And just like Lydia, she looked and sounded ridiculous while doing it.

“What’d you all do over the weekend?” Keelie asked from her seat next to me, folding the ends of her taco before taking a small bite.

“Jeremy and I saw the new James Bond movie,” Amber said with a smirk, making sure to look in my direction. “It was really good.”

Jeremy glanced at me before turning his attention back to Amber. “Yeah it was,” he agreed, looking around the table. “You should all see it.”

“Maybe.” I shrugged, looking down at the food on my plate.

For the rest of lunch I listened to everyone’s conversations, adding a comment here or there so it sounded like I was interested in what they were talking about. Amber made an obvious effort to be as close to Jeremy as she could, scooting closer and touching his hand whenever possible. She seemed to enjoy throwing it in my face that she was with Jeremy, more than she seemed to enjoy being with Jeremy himself. To distract myself from their flirting, I focused on stabbing the pieces of lettuce on my plate.

I finished half of the salad before the bell rang at the end of lunch. Chelsea had a sour look on her face—I assumed Drew hadn’t returned her not-so-subtle glances in his direction, and I somehow managed to not turn around and check.

“Time for chemistry,” Chelsea said, not making an effort to stand. “This’ll be just tons of fun.”

“Why don’t you just switch lab partners?” Shannon asked from her seat next to Warren. I was surprised at her sudden interest in Chelsea and Drew’s breakup. She’d made it clear that she didn’t like how we were now considered part of her group of friends, but I acted like her caring about our lives was normal and kept quiet. Maybe she was actually making an effort to be nice.

“Can’t,” Chelsea explained. “We’re partners for the rest of the semester. Turns out my plan in the beginning of the year wasn’t so brilliant after all.”

“I never got what was so great about him.” Shannon sighed, piling trash on her tray. “Obviously he’s good-looking, but he hasn’t even tried to make any friends here. It’s like he thinks he’s too good for us.”

“I don’t think having a million friends is important to him,” I said without thinking, looking down at the table a moment later. “Maybe he just doesn’t like being around people he doesn’t know well.”

“He seems more full of himself than shy.” Shannon laughed, raising an eyebrow in interest. “And anyway, how would you know this?”

“Chelsea told me,” I said, remembering how Chelsea said he wasn’t a big partier when we went dress shopping earlier in the year. 

Shannon laughed and got up to throw her trash away, the rest of the table following suit before leaving to go to their next classes. Drawing was right next to the cafeteria, but the door was still locked, so I leaned against the wall and watched people pass by. Most were too involved in their own conversations to be aware of much else going on around them, but I paused when I noticed Jeremy looking right at me. He sauntered to where I was standing and I lowered my eyes, hoping he got the hint that I wasn’t in the mood to talk.

“So, Drew broke up with Chelsea.” He leaned an elbow against the wall, turning his body to face mine.

“Yeah,” I said, edging away from him. He leaned forward even more, towering over me.  

“They sat as far away from each other as possible in English this morning,” he continued, ignoring my discomfort.

“That makes sense,” I said. “They just broke up.”

“Right.” He fidgeted and looked up at the ceiling, seeming to be at a loss for words. “Anyway, you’re cool with Amber and me going to the movies last weekend, right?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked, despite the fact that he was agitating me more and more by the second.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged, leaning inward. “It’s just that you didn’t seem very happy about us talking during lunch.”

“I’m fine.” The words sounded forced, even to me. “I’m glad you’re happy with her.”

He lowered his voice. “It’s not the same as being with you.”

“Jere,” I said, frustrated. “We broke up.”

“We can always get back together.”

I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”

“Whatever, Liz.” He lifted his elbow from the wall, giving me a little more space. “I’m going to class. But I’m not giving up on us.”

He spun around, walking away without giving me time to respond. The sad thing was that Jeremy was right; we used to be good together. But he held nothing on Drew, and I hoped with every fiber of my being that we could make things work without hurting Jeremy or Chelsea.

Unfortunately, given the current circumstances, I doubted it was possible. At least I had the lake to look forward to later that night—the one place where Drew and I could be together without having to worry about anyone else besides two of us.