Remember Love (23 page)

*****

Alec scrawled his
name on the contract with a flourish, then leaned back in his chair and yawned.

Done. At least
for the weekend. He now owned a prosperous building, had sold two spec homes
and could relax. He shoved a pile of papers to the side, set down his pen and
closed his laptop.

One duty done,
one more to do before he could feel the pressure ease. He would have to tell
Katrina the truth eventually, if Rachel hadn’t beat him to it.

It was painful to
admit.

I’ve made all
things new, Son
.

And God had. Alec
picked up the Bible on his desk and ran his finger over the leather front. Such
a simple cover. Plain, unadorned. It did a good job conveying the essence of
his faith.

Why hadn’t he
understood before that receiving God’s love could be so easy? That faith was both
as simple and as difficult as parachuting for the first time.

As exhilarating.

He set the Bible
down. Later he would finish the book of Ephesians. He rose to his feet and
walked to the balcony of his suite. Opening the French doors, he loosened the
collar of his shirt and inhaled the chill morning with a thankful heart.

The balcony
overlooked the river, which wound through varying shades of greenery not yet
turned gold, as though autumn had come and gone without notice. He remembered how
the trees would begin changing colors by January.

Right now the
river was quiet, not like in the summer, when residents and tourists alike
drifted down the clear waters, shouting and laughing and baking their bodies
brown.

Would he be here
this summer? Katrina wanted to go to New York. He wanted to take her. But it
would be nice to have this place to come back to.

Surprisingly, Manatee
Bay felt more like home than his New York condo ever could.

A faint rapping
came from inside his room. He went back into the suite and, walking to the
door, opened it. "Katrina."

"Can I come
in?"

He stepped aside
and she moved past him into the suite. Shutting the door, he followed her.
Curls cascaded down her back, riotous over a plum colored shirt.

"So this is
a Hilton suite." He saw the way her eyes pored over the room, catching and
holding on the stacks of paper on his desk. Turning, her features looked
strained and Alec felt a twinge of alarm.

She went and
stood near the open balcony, her face reflecting the distance between them.

It didn’t take a
genius to figure things out.

Alec shoved his
hands into the pockets of his slacks. "Rachel told you."

"Yes."
Her hands twisted in front of her and for once her lack of composure made him
uncomfortable. Now was the time for peacefulness. For serenity. She looked
instead as though she’d not slept through the night.

He walked to his
bed and sat, legs spread, elbows on knees, head down. "I wanted to tell
you when the timing was right." He swallowed, his worry a stone lodged in
his throat.

"It was
right the moment you arrived."

"I should
have told you."

"Yeah, you
should have." Her hair fell past her face and he couldn’t see her eyes. He
heard her intake of breath, felt rather than saw the squaring of her shoulders.
"I babbled in the car about opening Kat’s Korner again, if the owner
rebuilt. Why didn’t you just tell me you’re the owner? Was it some big secret?"

Alec registered
her words and took a moment to answer. He needed to say the right things. He
didn’t want to lose her.

Before he could
speak, she joined him on the bed, facing him, hands planted firmly on her legs.
"Why would you want to invest in Kat’s Korner if you already owned the
building? What possible difference could it make?"

A question he
could answer. "I needed an excuse to be close to you again."

"You plopped
down money to see me?" Her brow wrinkled as if she weren’t sure whether
she should be amused or offended.

"Something
like that." He shrugged, trying to gauge whether this would be a good time
to give her the ring he'd saved for so long. "I’m not used to sharing my business
plans. Then, when I realized how I felt about you, I didn’t want to ruin the
trust we were carefully building."

She bit her lip. "You
should trust me enough to be honest about everything."

"Okay."
Alec gulped. For some reason, the thought of sharing everything made his palms
perspire more. He swiped his hands against his pant legs. Adding to the coiled
tension that clenched his stomach was the knowledge of his ring, waiting in a
drawer while he worked up the nerve to offer it to her.

Katrina must have
seen his panicky movements. Her eyes narrowed and her body subtly shifted away
from him. "You’re nervous."

His pulse roared.
The jewelry box he’d placed in the drawer beside the bed seemed to be calling
his name. He hoped she’d still like the ring, that she’d see the meaning of it
even if she decided to get something bigger later.

But her lips had
flattened. "What else is there? Rachel didn’t discover everything, did
she? You really came for something more than business."

Too late, Alec
realized his mistake. Katrina was suspicious and she interpreted his
nervousness as a sign of guilt. It was more the sign of a soon-to-be-husband
but she couldn’t know that. To her, he acted guilty. And she was right.

He could try to
hide the motives that had driven him to Manatee Bay and into her store. She
would never know.

But God would.

The man he wanted
to be, the man God created him to be, could not lie to his future wife. Could
not lie at all.

He met her eyes
and reached for her hands, his thumb rubbing the soft skin that stretched over
her small bones. Her mouth softened. Her cheeks flushed and her hand turned to
hold his.

Why was he doing
this? His flesh made one last bid for control. He could make it so that she
would never know what had been in his heart. He squeezed her hand.

And held on.

"Katrina,
there’s something you should know about me."

CHAPTER
TWENTY-FOUR

Alec’s grip was a
vise around her fingers. Katrina glanced down and frowned. The quiet that rose
between them filled her with trepidation. Sighing, he released her hand. Taking
her wrists, he pressed them against his chest.

Lines deepened
around his eyes. "When I found out about Joey, my motives changed."

A confession
burned in his gaze, revealing at last the secret she’d always suspected he
harbored.

"You wanted
revenge," she said flatly.

"I’m sorry."

"Just say
it." Her lips quivered. She pressed them together, swallowed the
disillusionment that threatened to choke her.

Alec stood, hands
balled at his sides. "The news of the building being on sale came to me
through Grant."

"Why didn’t
I know?" She tightened her mouth. The corners kept drooping down.

"It was
never listed. Grant knew the guy, called me. He thought I’d be interested. I
was. While doing research, your mom’s name popped up."

"And. . ."

He shrugged
sadly, then began to pace. "So I bought the building, knowing I’d have to
force your mom out. Not revenge. Just business with the satisfaction of proving
I’m more than what this town tried to make me."

"Joey
changed things."

"Yes."
His tone lowered. "I was so angry. It seemed like taking something
precious from you might ease the hurt of my own loss."

Katrina felt her shoulders
hunch.

"When I
first saw you in Kat’s Korner, I wanted you back. After you told me about Joey,
I couldn’t think. For a while my head was messed up, but then I saw how you’re
different. How I am. And that I could never hurt you that way, could never take
your store from you." He stopped in front of her, knelt on one knee.
Taking her wrist, he brought the back of her hand to his mouth and kissed it
gently. "Please marry me. I love you."

"But you’ve
been pressuring me to sell. This whole thing has been nothing but a big
masquerade."

"Trust me,
Katrina."

"I can’t,"
she choked out. Her eyes burned and she blinked furiously. Why now? After all
this time, he’d finally spoken his love and it meant nothing. Because he’d
deceived her from the very beginning. She felt betrayed. In her own kitchen,
he’d lied to her. Had acted as though revenge was ridiculous.

Now she felt the
tiniest hint of what he’d gone through when she told him about their son. Her
stomach cramped.

She forced
herself to meet his stare. He was so close she could see the merging of brown
and green in his irises. Her hands came up and cupped his cheeks. Rough with
stubble, they scratched the pads of her fingers.

"Alec, we
can’t marry." A marriage couldn’t be built without an honest foundation.

"Yes, we
can." His voice sounded strained.

"No."

This changed
everything. Whether or not she deserved it, he was still the same man she’d
feared he was. Manipulating, lying to get his way.

He must have read
her thoughts in her expression because he stood, went to the hotel door and
opened it. Lips drawn in a line, he scowled.

"I know that
look. Saint Katrina, tallying me up in her book of righteousness. Now that you
know my evil motives, I come up lacking, don’t I?"

"That’s absurd."
She stood, the thin fabric of her skirt swishing between her knees.

"I don’t
think so." Hurt carved his features into stone. "I never could
measure up. You know what? I love you. I want to marry you. But I don’t need
you to be my Holy Spirit. Call me when you’re ready to trust."

"I was
ready." She marched to him and poked his chest with her finger. "Telling
me
I
was why you came back was an outright lie. How do you expect me to
handle that?"

"Maybe love
wasn’t the motive at first, but you were always the reason." He shoved one
hand over his face, rubbing in weary lines. "I’m tired of being angry.
While you’re getting over my wicked ways, why don’t you go ahead and inform
everyone that I never knew I had a son."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard
me. Half the people in town can’t stand me because they think I abandoned my
child."

"What?"
she stammered. She wet her lips and tried to swallow.

"I left and
nine months later you popped out a kid. What are people going to think? That
Miss Perfect kept him a secret?"

"You know
what? You’re being really rude."

"A man gets
tired of being jerked around."

"Fine."
She stalked out the doorway but in the hallway turned to glare at him. "At
least I’ve been upfront with you."

"Yeah. For
the last two months." He shook his head and shut the door. In her face.

A rush of anger
flowed through her, followed quickly by guilt. He was right. People thought
he’d abandoned them.

Nausea rose,
burning through her and she rushed down the hallway for the elevator.

Whether or not
they got married, one thing was clear. She owed it to him to clear his name.

By the time she
reached the lobby the sick feeling had calmed. Bypassing the bathrooms, she
drove home in a daze. Once there, she knelt at the couch, her fingers curling
into the worn cloth. The town’s judgment mirrored her own feelings toward Alec.
Why could she forgive everyone but him? The obvious answer was that his lie
hurt. But maybe there was more.

Lord
,
forgive
me. I’ve been so judgmental, wanting Alec to fit in some prearranged
compartment
. He hadn’t been the only one deceiving others. She’d let the
citizens of Manatee Bay wrongfully label Alec as no good. She hadn’t wanted for
people to think he’d left his son, but she hadn’t set anyone straight either.

Because she’d
wanted to be the victim, rather than the perpetrator.

Nauseated by the
truth, she buried her head in her arms. She hadn’t prayed this way in a long
time. As a woman unable to raise her face to God.

Unworthy.

Despicable.

Deep, shuddering
sobs shook her and she clung to the couch until they passed. When she rose from
her knees, her heart felt lighter. Her perspective clearer. She reached for her
purse again. It was time for a change.

*****

The widow’s house
was not half as imposing as her scowl. Katrina rapped on the front door, then
dropped her arms and shifted nervously on the front stoop. She could’ve called
but hoped confessing in person to Manatee Bay’s biggest covert gossip would
clear Alec’s name faster.

Spiders had spun
webs around the entryway. Yuck. She stepped back, away from those sticky
threads.

The door eased
open and Widow Carmichael stepped into the gap between door and wall.

"Hi, Ms. Carmichael."

"Oh, how are
you, Katrina? That dreadful man—" Her eyes slitted.

Katrina pulled
her shoulders up and lifted her chin. "Are you still in charge of the
prayer chain?"

"Yes, I am.
Is there something specific you need?"

"Prayer.
It’s time this town knew about Joey."

"That sweet
boy." A modicum of real emotion crossed the elderly woman’s face.

Shoulders loosening,
Katrina moved forward. "His father. . ." Her voice caught, dried by
the enormity of her deception.

The widow nodded.
"Go ahead, my sister."

"The town
should know that Alec never knew about Joey."

"Oh, my."

"And I need
prayer to figure out a way to let them know."

"Know what?"

"That Alec
would never have left if he’d known he had a child."

Pale, gray lines
that passed for eyebrows arched on the widow’s high forehead. "He wouldn’t
have?"

"Of course
not. He’s a man of strong loyalties."

"You don’t
say."

"This is
very important to me, Widow Carmichael. It wasn’t his fault." Katrina
lurched forward. Right into a web. Sucking back a squeal she stumbled
backwards. The threads clung to her, across her face. A shudder ripped through
her but she managed to calmly pull the web from her skin. "Can you please
start the prayer chain?"

A look scarier
than the gossamer traps hidden in sunlight passed the widow’s features. "I’ll
get right on it, dearie."

*****

"You’re
crazy." The front door flew open and Rachel barged into the living room,
red hair flaming.

Katrina looked up
from the floor where she was taping together a box of knick knacks. Boxes,
tape, and scissors littered the floor around her. "Is this about Alec?"

"Who do you
think?" Rachel slammed the door and flopped onto the couch. "When did
you start the prayer chain?"

"This
morning after I went shopping." After she’d confronted Alec.

"Well,
congratulations. It’s four o’clock and everyone knows. The whole town is
talking about it."

"What are
they saying?" Amused, Katrina slid the box to the side and stretched her
arms above her.

"Would you
look at me? This is a disaster." Rachel slid off the couch and brought her
face to Katrina’s level.

"Your
mascara’s smeared," she couldn’t resist pointing out.

"Do I look
like I care?"

"Careful,
you’re getting into a snit."

Rachel exhaled
loudly.

"Just keep
your voice down," Katrina added, then swallowed her laugh when Rachel’s
freckles disappeared beneath a crimson flush. "This is not a tragedy."
She worked hard to keep humor from wobbling her voice. "What I did was
wrong. Everyone should know that Joey was a surprise for Alec." She didn’t
look at Rachel, afraid her friend would see the smile on her face. The last
thing she needed was to give Rachel an aneurysm.

"That’s not
what they’re saying." Rachel’s face paled to its original color, but her
eyes looked shiny. Like she was trying not to cry. "They’re saying you’re
deceitful. That you’re a bad example and a hypocrite.  Everyone thinks you
shouldn’t be allowed to help with the kids in the nursery anymore and that you
should be brought before the congregation for a public apology."

"What?"
Katrina’s head began to spin. "That’s ridiculous."

"Some of the
older ladies say you’re immoral anyway, having a child out of wedlock."

"That’s
absurd."

"And they’re
saying Pastor Joe knew about this."

Katrina shrugged,
though she felt far from nonchalant. "I can’t do anything about it,
Rachel. Don’t cry."

"I’m not."
Rachel sniffed. "But I wish you wouldn’t have said anything. It just makes
me want to slap a few people."

"Oh, Rachel."
She leaned over and hugged her friend tightly. "You’ve always been so
loyal. But it really is okay. I’m not worried what people think of me."

Rachel drew back
and looked around the room. "Are you going somewhere?"

Katrina stopped
taping the box and set the tape on the floor. "My life needs a change. It’s
time for me to come out of my little corner and go explore the world."

"What about
Alec."

"I can’t
marry him."

"Why?"
Rachel’s pitch shot up somewhere near the clouds.

"You know
why."

Rachel pressed
her lips together. "Your whole life you go nowhere new. You like
everything around you to be the same. And now, suddenly, you want to go on some
kind of spur of the moment trip? The most adventurous thing you do is sit in a
different pew every Sunday."

"Yeah,
that’s why it’s got to stop. I feel like God put this desire in me for a
reason."

"The desire
to go crazy?"

"No."
She stood and used her foot to push the box against the couch. "The store
is a bust. I need to leave, to see new things, feel new places. Share what God
has done in my life someday."

"Okay, you
can’t do that here?" Rachel stood and walked to the sliding door leading
to the back yard. She pressed her forehead against the glass. "I’m sorry.
You being here, it’s always been the most stable part of my life."

Katrina frowned.
Rachel sounded vulnerable, like a little girl who needed comforting instead of
the brazen friend who tried to shield her from life. She hadn’t heard this part
of Rachel in a long time. She caught her lip between her teeth and went to
stand at the glass door, sliding her hand into Rachel’s.

Outside the grass
had grown too long. Parts of the yard had turned a dry brown, remnants of a
summer gone, forewarning of the cold to come. Though she couldn’t see the
garden from this angle, she knew what it looked like.

Weeded, full of
life, wild in its way. She loved her home.

"I probably
won’t sell the house," she said.

"Okay."
Rachel straightened, turned to her. There was a question in her eyes. "What’s
up with you and Alec?"

Katrina pulled
her hands back. Her gaze returned to the yard before she turned and went into
the kitchen. Rachel followed her. They sat at the table.

"You were
right about Alec," she said finally, measuring Rachel’s response.

"I knew he
was up to no good." Rachel leaned her head back and pulled the clip from
her hair, letting it flow in a vibrant river down the back of the chair.

"He’s
vengeful. He lied to me." She hesitated, his last words ringing through
her mind. "Do you think I’m judgmental?"

Rachel squinted
at her. "Did he say that?"

"Kind of."

Rachel sighed,
then squirmed a little in her seat. "Sometimes, I guess. But everybody is."

Katrina dropped
her head into her hands. Probably true, she conceded, but it troubled her anyway.
Peeking through her fingers, she saw Rachel’s eyes close. "Hard day?"

"You have no
idea. Finally caught the guy in the act. His wife cried when she saw the video.
It was just emotionally rough."

"Do you want
to watch a movie tonight?" It would take her mind off things and maybe
relax Rachel.

"A
light-hearted chick flick? Sure. I need to buy into some kind of lie right now."