REMEDY: A Mafia Romance (Return to Us Trilogy Book 3) (11 page)

"No," he says.

"What about Chowder?"

"I said no one." Bernard's pitch strengthens, and he glares at me for lowballing his words.

"Tell me now. Are you gonna throw your hat in the ring at the vote?"

Surprise flashes in his eyes, but he quickly returns to his signature blank stare. "No. I've been backing you for years. You know that. Why the hell do you think you're in such a good position? Me. Don't forget it."

He'd better not be lying. "If you put Ivy out there by telling Gerry her identity, she's dead. He'll kill her, and we'll both lose her."

He stares into my eyes. "I'd never put her at risk like that."

His relaxed posture and convincing tone make it difficult to read him, but history has taught me he can't be trusted. And when it involves my woman, there is no fucking room for doubt.

"Okay, old man. I'll keep your secret if you keep Ivy's."

He casts his gaze to the floor.

"And watch Chowder. He's a loose cannon, and you're messing with his head."

***

Ivy

"So, he's…" My question remains unfinished as Jacade hops in and we speed off.

"Right," he says. Jacade's fingers tighten on the steering wheel. The streetlights flash over his knuckles as we pass under them.

Green.

Yellow.

How could I not have seen it? My uncle Bernie is a cheater. I suppose I didn't want to see it.

"With a man named Chowder?" I ask for clarification.

What kind of name is that anyway? Does he like corn too much or something?

Green.

"Uh huh." He flips the right blinker and pulls the car onto a one-way street.

"And you walked in on him going…" No. Not saying it.

"Yep." He lets a sharp exhale out and shakes his head like he's attempting to push the memory out of his ear canals.

"You know what this means?" he asks as we merge onto Lakeshore Drive. "I have to soak my brain in bleach."

"Oh for sure, there's no other way around it." I burst out laughing.

His grim face morphs into a smile, and he chuckles with me. "That back there, I was not expecting." He trails his fingers through his hair.

"You had no idea? I thought you spend a lot of time with Uncle Bernie."

"No. I don't pay much attention to Bernard's personal life, apart from your role in it."

"Did you know he cheats?"

He presses his lips together, and pauses before he answers in a gentle voice. "Yes, I have heard he goes out on Helen. I'd always assumed he was with women. I didn't consider he might like men too. I didn't know Viktor and Chowder swung both ways either. This is all new information for me. I think I'd prefer not to know, to be honest. You can't unsee that shit."

"Do you think he'll come clean to Aunt Helen like you told him to do?"

He doesn't answer. He licks his lips and accelerates onto the interstate.

After a while, he says, "Helen might already know. Gerry probably told her in your hospital room that day. He might not have told her Bernard's bisexual, but I doubt she'd care too much about the distinction. Cheating is cheating."

Oh gosh. My dear Aunt Helen. Her life has really sucked. Being forced to marry a man and then to find out he's a cheater. Gay or not, that has to hurt. I'm so busy worrying about my aunt Helen, I barely notice Jacade is heading away from the city and my apartment.

Ivy

Jacade leaves the Challenger running and climbs out of the driver's seat. The headlights shine on a rusted chain obstructing the entrance to a dirt road. I gander out the window and see grass fields of tall, slender stems. The moonlight casts dappling shadows of maple and birch trees along our path. He unlinks one side of the chain and chucks it in the ditch on the other side. He folds his frame back into the car and speeds down the road. The car skids as he stops and dust engulfs the rear end.

About twenty feet ahead stands a decrepit, deserted trailer. The siding bends from the walls after years of contact with nature's elements. The front door swings on one hinge. A huge, old willow tree planted about ten feet to the right dwarfs the tiny trailer. Its arching branches sweep down and inside the guts of the structure. The tree and the trailer both look like they've been here dancing in the wind for hundreds of years.

"Come on," he says and exits the car.

Umm, okay. But where are we?

The icy breeze slaps me in the face when I step out of the car. It may be fall, but crotchety Jack Frost is creeping upon us, eager to steal our daylight, outdoor activities, and lucidity.

My arms hug my waist, pressing my wool jacket closer to my flesh. He rests his ass on the grill of the Challenger and supports himself on his palms behind him on the hood.

I climb up next to him, and the warmth from the engine seeps through my jeans. I stare at his rugged features in profile as he gazes at the trailer.

"I brought you here to show you where I came from."

"This is where you grew up?" I ask.

"Yes. I purchased the land a while ago. An investor wanted to clear the property and build a subdivision. I couldn't let that happen."

He bought it? If it'd been one of my foster homes, I'd demolish it with an excavator.

"Why?"

"As a reminder. This double-wide spawned the man I am today, whether I like it or not."

"See the second step there?" He points to the eroded metal stairs leading up to the front entrance. "My mom had me hide under there whenever this one guy came to visit. His name was Tony. He had a New York accent. I think he was my bio dad. She lost Jude because of her drug use and manic depression. She was afraid to lose me and made me hide for hours."

"That's so awful." I think of a little Jacade with baby-blue eyes hiding in the cold and dirt under the steps.

"Sometimes he'd smoke pot with her. Sometimes they'd fight or fuck. If he stayed a long time, I'd go over to Chowder's trailer." He motions to a dark field to our left.

"Chowder lived here too?"

"Yeah. I've known him a long time. We were… friends. We worked together in the beginning—boosting cars, dealing drugs. I could trust him. Till he started using."

"So, what happened with Tony?"

"Not sure. The last time he came, Jude and Leo were living with us. Jude and I hid in our treehouse." He looks up at the canopy of the willow tree. "We watched Tony beat the fuck out of Leo. He never came back after that."

"Was he a council member?"

Jacade's body stills and he speaks low. "What?"

"Was he connected to the organization somehow?"

"Fuck. I don't know."

"Maybe he's the one that brought Jude into the fold."

His eyes widen and flash with anger. "I'll have to ask Jude about that. You're a smart one, my love."

"I have my moments." I smile at him.

He stares back at the putrefying trailer. "Anyway, I brought you here to show you why I joined the council. There was no future for me in that trailer."

"Did you have other family members you could've lived with?"

"Nope. Just my mom, Leo, Jude, and me. Jude got out of this shithole and left me behind. Who could blame him? At eighteen, Bernard offered me the same chance to become something… grander, and I took it, like Jude did."

"Do you ever regret making the deal with Uncle Bernie?"

He gazes at the crescent moon against the dark sky. The immense willow swings and thrashes in the wind. Maybe I've asked too much.

"Yes and no. I made my decision for the right reasons. To save an eighteen-year-old girl from jail time and to give myself a chance to be worthy of her." He turns to stare into my eyes. "I regret taking the easy way out and giving you up to gain what I have."

"And do you think you're worthy now?"

He looks down and shakes his head. "I don't know. Sometimes I think I'm invincible. Then I remember the pain I've caused you, and I feel more unworthy than when I was eighteen."

"Jacade…"

"When Viktor had you alone—called you an orphan whore—I wasn't there. That was my fault. I never should've dragging your pure heart into this."

"You can't be there all the time," I say.

He pins me with his intense gaze. "You would never have been alone in a bathroom with Viktor if I hadn't touched you in the elevator that day."

"I had ties to Viktor before our elevator encounter. Uncle Bernie changed the course of my future when he took me in. You've all worked so hard to keep me away, but I was born into this life."

He looks up at the stars over our heads and takes in a deep breath. Did he hear me?

"Where did he touch you?" A muscle in his jaw ticks.

"Please don't ask me that." I can't tell him.

"Tell me."

Denying him when he commands me in that voice is impossible. "He lifted my skirt, touched my thong. He rubbed himself on my backside, but I stopped him before anything else hap—"

Jacade pushes off the hood and stomps away. "Fuck!" His scream spirals then deadens into the night. He launches a huge rock at the trailer. The stone clangs on the steps, and a piece of siding crashes to the ground.

I look down at my lap and wait for him to return to me. He braces his hands on either side of my hips. His eyes scorch with fire, and his jaw is tight.

"Let me explain the stakes to you," he says. "If I win the vote, you'll be untouchable—in theory. No one dares to hurt the boss's woman. They all take an oath to kill or die to defend you. That said, you'll be a target for my enemies. Bernard could use you against me to force a revote. If Drake manages to turn one of my men, you'll be visiting me in prison."

He drops his head so his chin touches his chest. Enough of this.

"Eyes on me."

He raises his head to look at me.

"I'm here forever. Vote or no vote. Threat or no threat. You and me until the end."

Hope brews in his stormy features for the first time in a long time. His lips part and he inches closer to me. God, I wish he would give up this farce and take me. Fuck me on top of this Challenger, Jacade.

He clenches his fists and straightens. "Don't decide yet," he grits out. "Take some time. Think of the day-to-day reality and make your decision with a rational mind. If I lose the vote, presumably to Bernard, I'll be under his thumb until he dies. I can't get out. I'm a made man. I've stashed a fair amount of money in foreign accounts, and I would run if you asked me to, but we'd be on the take our entire lives. I understand if you want to leave me now. Living without you would crush me, but I could manage if you chose it for yourself."

"I don't need time to think about it. I want you with all my heart. Anything is possible when it comes to us. You said so yourself." I give him a weak smile and my voice trails off. "We can surmount any obstacle. We're an unbeatable duo."

"I agree and I want that. I want to climb mountains with you," he says with conviction in his voice. "But every aspect of your life would change. You'd be constantly armed. Your movements limited. No spontaneous girls' nights with Bryn. Vacations would have to be prearranged, hotel employees vetted, bodyguards on high alert the entire time. I chose this life for myself. I refuse to make the same decision for you because of my own selfish desires."

"Jacade, I've already told you…"

He raises his hand to cut me off. "You need to take more time and consider all I've said. You can't talk to Bryn openly. Dr. Kelch's wife will call you. You can be completely honest with her."

"I don't need a shrink." I'm not gabbing with a psychiatrist. Bryn's the only therapist for this wacko.

"Do it. For me." His eyes are fatigued and suppliant.

"You pursued me, Jacade. You took me in my office. You wanted this."

"That was before I knew you'd walk into the house of a killer and offer yourself up on a platter."

A chilled gust of wind brushes between us. I clench my coat tighter. "Why are you pushing me away?" My gut churns with thoughts of losing him.

He cups my face in his palm, and his eyes spear my heart. "I have to give you the out because if I don't, I'll always wonder if our marriage was what you wanted."

"Marriage?"

"Yes. Once you're my wife, it's permanent. No changing your mind. So be sure of it now."

I nod, stunned at his words. In one breath, he's living without me and in the next we're married. He's right. I do need some time to process this. He leads me to the passenger-side door and helps me in.

When he hops in the driver's seat, he says, "Keep the burner. Emergencies only."

"So, ten days?" I ask. "Will I see you?"

"I'll call you after the vote. You're well enough to be alone, just take it easy. The physical therapist will come to your place, and Sheryl will cook for you."

That's nice, but ten days with no contact after having him near for three weeks seems endless.

"I'll miss you," I say quietly.

He skims his fingertips along my jaw. "I'll miss you too. More than you could ever imagine."

He pulls me to him with his fingers under my chin and kisses me with closed lips. I open my mouth and our tongues meet and gently touch. A tear escapes my eye and drops off my cheek. This feels like the night I lost him last time. I'm helpless and at the mercy of his irrational reasons for leaving me again.

He breaks the kiss and closes his eyes as he faces forward. I look back to the eerie darkness surrounding the trailer. The deep, prolonged crank of the engine matches the scariness of this place. He pulls the Challenger down the path slowly, the tires crunching on the dirt road. The fetid trailer and the ancient tree diminish in my passenger-side mirror.

***

Ivy

Bryn whips open the door before I can knock.

"Where is he?" She barges out onto her steps barefoot and totally unhinged.

"Where's who? Jacade? He dropped me off. Why?" I ask. Did I miss something? She's fuming.

"Your text messages. He broke up with you?" Her head bobs as she glares up and down the street.

"Well…"

"I knew it! I'm gonna throat punch that prick." She marches back in her apartment and bends to put on her left shoe. "Grab my keys."

She wobbles and falls against the wall. She bounces forward again as she tries to get her heel in her sneaker.

"Bryn." I latch onto her forearm. "We didn't break up." My mouth curves in a smile at her bestie response.

"Oh. Okay then." She drops her other shoe, and it hits the baseboard. "That's good 'cause he's a big fucking dude."

We laugh, and she wraps her arm around my neck. We walk together into her kitchen. She offers me a mug filled with warm apple cider. I sniff the glorious liquid, and the spicy smell of cinnamon voyages through my senses.

"You always know what I need," I say.

She raises her mug in the air. "I take my best friend oath seriously. You need bodies concealed, you call me."

I laugh because she has no idea how many dead bodies were actually left at Viktor's and how close to the truth her joke hits. "Sorry it's so late. I needed to see you." I push myself up onto the counter.

She sits opposite me on the counter. "You know I'm here for you, girl. But next time don't discuss," she uses air quotes, "him, along with a crying emoji. I was ready to lease a wood chipper to grind up his body."

"Deal." I sip the amber fluid.

"So, what's up?"

"He wants me to take some time away from him to decide if I really want to be with him."

"Okay…" Her face doesn't let her opinion show so I keep talking.

"After everything that happened with Viktor, he wants reassurance I'm in it for the long haul, and my choice was not influenced by him. You've probably figured out there are… risks associated with Jacade." She nods. "I can't tell you the details, but you seem to understand he lives a dangerous life. I don't care. I love him, and I'm going to be with him for the rest of my life. I'm positive."

"Uh huh."

Nothing else, Bryn? Usually she's giving me her opinion before I'm even done with my thought.

"What do you think?" I ask.

"It doesn't matter what I think." She takes a sip of her cider. "Or what he thinks, for that matter."

What? This isn't the Bryn I know. Has she been snatched by an alien from intergalactic space?