Nikki smiled through her tears. Just because she was miserable right now didn’t mean she’d given up on finding what Avery and Ty had. She just wouldn’t be finding it with J.T., and one day she knew she’d be grateful for that. But today wasn’t that day.
“I’m not gonna lie to you. My kid brother has a lot of growing up to do before he’s ready for a serious relationship. He’s spent most of his life chasing the thrill, either with women or on the back of a bull. Eventually, he’s gonna have to realize that real life isn’t like that. Sometimes, it’s mundane, but he shouldn’t have to risk life and limb just to feel alive.”
She propped her elbow on the table, resting her head in her palm. “You think that’s what he’s been doing?”
Ty nodded, raising the water bottle to his lips. “He’s had some pretty big shoes to fill. Our older brother Dave is the hero, the guy willing to put his life on the line for his country. Derek has stepped in front of half a dozen bullets to save innocent civilians.”
She sighed, suddenly feeling sorry for J.T. It was hard to imagine a man like him feeling as though he didn’t measure up. He was perfect, at least in her mind. “And you’re this uber-successful musician.”
Ty laughed. “It’s not like I’m out there saving lives or fighting for my country, but yeah, I guess I’ve found my way. Don’t get me wrong. J.T.’s well respected in rodeo circuits. Hell, he’s the best there is, but in his mind, I think he feels that riding bulls pales in comparison to what the rest of us have chosen to do with our lives.”
“Have you ever tried to talk to him about it?”
Ty shrugged. “Sure, I’ve tried, but he always shuts me down.”
“At least I’m not the only one,” she muttered. Looking up at Ty, she tried to decide whether it was her place to divulge his brother’s plans for the future. “Did he tell you that he planned to buy Jimmy’s?”
“No shit?” Ty said, claiming the stool beside her. “No, I had no idea. Huh, good for him. Maybe that’s exactly what he needs to get his head on straight. I know the idea of retirin’ was really messin’ him up. He had no idea what direction to take. If he’s found what he’s looking for in Jimmy’s, I say good for him.”
She rubbed her tired eyes, wondering where she would find the energy to get through the rest of this day. It was only 11:00 a.m. It would be another twelve hours, at least, before she could lay her head on a pillow and try to sort through this mess with J.T.
“You sure you wanna do this?” Jimmy asked, his pen poised over the legal document. “This is your last chance to back out, boy.”
“I don’t want to back out. This is what I want.” Hell, who was he kidding, he
needed
this if he was going to maintain his sanity. The thought of waking up every morning with no purpose, no direction, scared the hell out of him. At least Jimmy’s would give him a reason to get out of bed in the morning, and maybe with a little luck, and a lot of hard work, he could prove that he had a talent for something other than riding bulls and banging buckle bunnies.
The thought of buckle bunnies reminded him of Nikki, who was as far removed from a buckle bunny as a woman could get, which was why he’d decided she was too damn good for him. No matter how much it irked him to admit it, buckle bunnies were more his speed. Maybe one day he’d earn the right to love a woman like that, but this morning she’d reminded him that he wasn’t even fit to breathe the same air as her, at least not yet. A rising star coupled with a washed-up, beaten up, rodeo king. It was laughable, and he had no doubt the tabloids would concur once they got wind of it.
No, it would be better to spare Nikki the humiliation of being linked to a bum like him. Not that he’d ever thought of himself that way before. In fact, he’d been a catch, the big prize on the rodeo circuit, but life outside of those stadiums of cheering fans looked and felt a whole lot different, and he was going to have to learn to adjust to life as a barkeep, instead of the world champion he’d once been.
Three Months Later
J.T. was throwing back his third shot of whiskey when the door opened and Luc strode through, looking like he had a score to settle. Too damn bad. The guy should be happy he’d dodged a bullet. He could’ve wound up with a loser like him for a son-in-law.
“We’re not open yet,” J.T. muttered, pretending to look over last night’s receipts. Truth be told, he couldn’t care less whether the books were balanced. He knew the bar was still making money, thanks to a topnotch manager, who’d agreed to stay on after Jimmy left.
“Then you should have the good sense to lock the door.” He sat on the stool in front of J.T., pushing aside the stacks of paper between them.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing? Get out of here.”
Luc pointed at him. “I’m here to try and talk some sense into you, so shut up and listen.”
J.T. didn’t take orders from anyone, especially Nikki’s high and mighty father. He was the reason he’d started questioning himself in the first place. Despite all the posturing, he’d started seeing the situation through Luc’s eyes and began to realize that’s how the world would see it.
Nikki had been on the road with his brother almost three months now, and they were opening to rave reviews every night. She was becoming the star everyone knew she would, while he was stuck here, drowning his sorrows in a bottle. His rodeo career was behind him, and so was the woman he couldn’t get out of his head.
“I’m not interested in anything you have to say, Spencer.”
“Too bad, you’re gonna listen whether you like it or not.”
J.T. braced his hands on the bar. He was itching for a fight to relieve some of this pent up frustration. If it had to be Nikki’s old man, so be it. “You think you can come into my bar and start barking orders at me? Go to hell.”
“You’re a lying, worthless piece of shit, you know that?”
He may be worthless, but what had he lied about? “You want to tell me what the hell you’re talking about before I throw you out?”
“You told me you’d never hurt my daughter. You told me you loved her, asshole. Remember that?” Luc scowled. “You actually had me believing you.”
“I thought you’d be happy I cut her loose.”
“Happy?” Luc stared at him as though he were trying to read him. “You think it makes me happy to see my little girl miserable?”
J.T. had tortured himself by watching clips from a few of their concerts online. She didn’t look miserable to him. She looked beautiful, sexy, and happy. “You’re crazy. Nik’s probably glad to be rid of me. I bet she’s already moved on to bigger and better things.” Damn, just saying that cut like a knife. He waited, praying Luc would dispute his words.
Shaking his head, Luc said, “I don’t get it. What the hell does she see in you?”
Ouch, Luc definitely knew how to cut him off at the knees. “Obviously not much, since we’re not together anymore.”
He hadn’t seen or spoken to her since that morning he dropped her off in the parking lot of Jimmy’s. Not that she hadn’t tried to contact him a time or two, but he knew by the time she boarded the tour bus she’d have forgotten all about him. He’d been right. She hadn’t tried to contact him once since the tour started. He tried to tell himself it was for the best, but every night he fell asleep with an empty glass in one hand and his phone in the other, willing it to ring.
His big, old bed had been empty for months, his longest dry spell since he turned fifteen and lost his virginity. Damn, he knew he shouldn’t have let that little vixen get inside his head, or his bed. Now he didn’t know how the hell to get her out. Memories filtered in and out of his mind, and her scent lingered on sheets that had been washed a dozen times. There was no escaping her, no matter how hard he tried.
“Yeah, and whose decision was that?” Luc muttered.
J.T. leaned forward, getting in his face. He knew Luc wasn’t used to being challenged and hoped provoking him would draw him into the fight he was itching to have. “This is none of your goddamn business, so stay out of it.”
Luc pushed him back. “Get the hell out of my face, punk.”
The phone rang behind the bar. J.T. considered whether to answer it or finish what he’d started. Since he didn’t relish the thought of spending the night behind bars for assault, he decided to answer. “Jimmy’s, J.T. speaking,” he muttered. He listened to a deep male sigh on the other end of the phone. When he was about to hang up, his brother Derek’s broken voice permeated the phone line.
“J.T., man, I’ve got some bad news. Real bad.”
J.T. sank down on the stool behind the bar, waiting for Derek to continue. “What is it? What’s wrong?” His brother wasn’t the type to panic. He was always in control, yet at the moment, it sounded like he was on the verge of losing it. Which could only mean one thing. “Is it Mom or Dad?” Silence. “Damn it, just tell me what the hell happened, Derek.”
“It’s Dave, man.”
His brother Dave was in Afghanistan. After two tours, he was finally due to come home next month. J.T. dropped his head into his hand. “What happened?”
“We lost him, kid.” Derek said, his voice cracking. “Christine just called me. She wasn’t up to giving me details yet. Needless to say, she’s devastated.”
Christine.
Damn it, his brother had a wife and kids who were counting on him. He had no one, yet he’d risked his lame-ass neck on the back of an angry bull for years, with nothing more than a few broken bones to show for it. He was the one who should be dead, not his brother. Dave was noble, a hero.
“This can’t be happening,” he whispered, trying to come to terms with the fact that they’d just lost their brother. More importantly, his niece and nephew had lost their father.
“J.T., listen to me. I need you to be the one to tell Mom and Dad about this. I’m catching the next flight out, but they can’t hear about this over the phone. Can you do that for me?”
How the hell was he supposed to tell his parents that they’d just lost their first-born? “Shit, I don’t know if I can, Derek.”
“You have to,” Derek said firmly. “They need to know now, and there’s no one else who can tell them. Christine called me because she didn’t want them to hear about it over the phone. Please, you need to do this.”
He knew he didn’t have a choice. Of course, he would have to be the one to tell them, but how? “Okay, don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it. When are you gonna be here, man?” The sooner, the better. Derek was the responsible one, the one used to dealing with high-pressure situations and tragedy. J.T. felt totally inept when it came to handling situations like this.
“I should be there by late afternoon, early evening at the latest. We’re going to have to get in touch with Ty…”
J.T. looked up at Luc, who was watching him carefully. “Luc’s here now. Let me find out how to track him down.”
“You got it. Hey, thanks for steppin’ up, kid.”
Like he had a choice. His family needed him now. “Yeah, sure. I’ll see you in a few hours. Be safe.” J.T. had never said that to Derek before, in spite of the danger he faced every day. Now it seemed more important than ever that his other brother stay out of harm’s way. This family wasn’t equipped to deal with that kind of tragedy twice in a lifetime.
“I will. Don’t worry about me. Just take care of Mom and Dad, okay?”
“Yeah, I will.” He waited for the sound of the dial tone, knowing his brother never said good-bye. They’d never thought it necessary before. Now he realized there were too many things he should have said, especially to Dave. He’d never told him he loved him, was proud of him. He’d never told him how much he’d looked up to him growing up, and now he would never have the chance to tell him how he felt. It was too late.
“J.T.,” Luc said quietly. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“My brother Dave…” He cleared his throat, trying to force the words out. “He was killed in Afghanistan.” It didn’t seem real, or even possible. Dave was really gone, and this family would never be the same. None of their lives would ever be the same.
“Oh my God,” Luc said, covering his mouth with his hand. “I’m sorry. Shit, I’m so sorry.”