Relentless (25 page)
J.T. prayed that was true, but he knew from experience that sweet words uttered in the heat of an intimate moment had a way of fading into oblivion in the bright light of day. She already had so many demands on her time, so many people wanting a piece of her. How was he going to find a way to fit into her world without losing himself in the process?
He’d never been insecure a day in his life. In fact, people often accused him of being overly confident, with good reason, as far as he was concerned. He always knew where he was going and how he intended to get there. And he’d always ended up standing in the winner’s circle, taking home the big prize and basking in the applause.
Now he was going to be nothing more than a has-been cowboy with a few bucks in the bank and a photo album full of memories to remind him of better days. It was Nikki’s turn to stand in the spotlight, to gain the recognition for all of her hard work, and he wanted that for her, but he couldn’t get past the fear that he would never be enough to hold the attention of a woman like her.
“Would you stop thinking so much,” she whispered, claiming his mouth in a torrid kiss that drove every thought out of his head.
He growled as he flipped her over, straddling her. Taking in her tousled hair, flushed cheeks, and bright eyes, he was grateful that of the thousands of men she could have chosen, she was here with him, in his bed, telling him that she was in love with
him.
“I love you, baby,” he whispered, needing to hear her say it again, needing to be reminded that this, and what she felt for him, was real.
“I love you, too.” She smiled. “Would you believe I’ve never said that to another man? Not even as a teenager, when we think everyone we meet is
the one
.”
He chuckled, trying to mask the fact that her words hit him with the force of a landslide. He wanted more than anything to be the one for her, the only one. “Tell me you’re on the pill.”
She looked surprised by the abrupt change in conversation. “Uh, yeah, why?”
“I don’t want to wear a condom anymore, not with you.” He hesitated, waiting for her reaction. When she said nothing, he continued. “I’m a fanatic about protection, so you don’t have to worry about that.”
She bit her lip, looking uncertain. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s just that I’ve never been with a guy without using protection. The pill is almost a sure thing, but nothing’s one hundred percent, ya know?”
God, what he wouldn’t give to see her pregnant with his baby. The thought blindsided him.
He’d never even considered the possibility of being a daddy before, and he knew now sure as hell wasn’t the time to start harboring those fantasies. Especially not with Nikki scheduled to spend the better part of the next three years out on the road. He reached into the drawer and snagged a foil packet.
She grabbed his wrist. “Are you upset with me?”
“No, baby.” He quickly slid the condom on. He didn’t want to think about the next few years without her. He just wanted to enjoy the time they had left. “I understand where you’re coming from. An unplanned pregnancy is the last thing you need right now.”
She reached up to wrap her arms around his neck, pulling him down on top of her. “It’s not that I don’t think about it. I’m not saying I don’t want to have kids, ever. I’m just saying it would be a while, five, maybe seven years before I could start to plan for that.”
In seven years, he’d be forty. He thought he’d be married with a couple of kids by then, but having Nikki as his wife would make any sacrifice worthwhile. “I’ll wait as long as it takes,” he whispered, kissing her thoroughly. He needed to make her understand that no matter how far away she went, she would always be taking a part of him, the best part, with her.
When they finally came up for air, she whispered, “Make love to me.”
He stroked her gently, satisfying himself that she was ready to take him. Sliding in slowly, using every ounce of self-control he possessed to keep from plowing into her, he found what he was looking for. The love reflected in her eyes when they were finally joined, the sensation of feeling her wrapped around him, made him realize that this woman was made for him. They were meant to be together, here, now, forever. It didn’t matter if she was halfway around the world, or tucked safely in his arms, nothing would change that.
“Mmm.” She moaned, closing her eyes as she turned her head to the side. “I love the way you feel.”
Tonight, he wanted to take her soft and slow, loving her, worshipping her. They would have time to unleash the passion another time, but tonight was about solidifying their bond so there wasn’t a doubt in her mind when she left about where this was headed.
He withdrew slowly, sinking in with ease until he built a steady rhythm that brought her to the brink. “Open your eyes,” he muttered, clenching his jaw as he struggled to hold off his own release. “I want you to look at me; I want to hear my name on your lips when you…”
“Oh God, J.T…” she cried, digging her nails into his back. “Oh, don’t stop, please…”
He watched her free-fall before finally surrendering to his body’s harsh demands. Waiting until the final pulse subsided, he withdrew. “Can I be sure you’ll be here when I come back from the bathroom this time, sugar?”
She laughed, rubbing her eyes. “Oh, I’ll be here, but I can’t promise I’ll be awake.”
He wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms all night, then wake up to the sight of her beautiful face and do this all over again. “I don’t mind. Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right back.”
She stretched, a smile playing on her lips. “I really should go home tonight.”
He grunted. “Not gonna happen, baby. Your car’s back at Jimmy’s. Besides, there’s no way I’d let you drive, given how tired you are. You need to sleep.”
“But my father…”
“Will just have to deal with the fact that his little girl is all grown up, and she’s my woman now.”
She laughed. “That possessive streak of yours should piss me off.”
He grinned. “But it doesn’t.”
Nodding, she said, “No, in fact, I kind of like it.”
With his hand on the bathroom doorknob, he said, “That’s good, ‘cause like it or not, you’re gonna have to get used to it.” He closed the door to the sound of her laughter.
He cleaned up and quietly slipped back into the room in case she’d already fallen asleep. The sight of her lying in his bed, naked, and twisted up in his rumpled sheets, made him want her all over again. But he knew she was exhausted. He’d let her sleep, for now. “Hey, babe, you awake?” he whispered.
“Mmm, sort of.”
“Where’s your phone? I’ll text your old man and let him know you’ll be spending the night with me.” Luc would have to learn to back off and accept their relationship, but he knew it would take some time for him to come to terms with the fact that there was a new man in Nikki’s life. He could be patient, as long as he got the message sooner rather than later.
“It’s in my purse,” she mumbled, rolling over and curling into the pillow. “I think I left it in the living room.”
J.T. quickly made his way down the hall, anxious to burrow under the covers and fall asleep with the woman he loved in his arms. He switched on a dim light and located her purse. Pulling the phone out, he scrolled down, looking for her contacts, when he came across a couple of text messages that set him on edge. Both from men, names he didn’t recognize. They were going to have to talk about that in the morning. He didn’t mind her having male friends, he had female friends, but they would have to understand there was a new set of boundaries where she was concerned.
He quickly typed a message to Luc and fisted the phone in his hand as he walked back to the bedroom. He set the phone on the nightstand so he wouldn’t forget to have that little talk with her first thing in the morning.
Nikki woke up, cuddling into a hard male chest. She smiled as memories of last night flashed through her mind. It was everything she’d imagined it would be and more. The fact that J.T., her long-time fantasy man, shared her feelings was more than she’d ever dared to hope for.
“Mornin’, beautiful,” he said, kissing the top of her head.
The husky sound of his voice sent shivers chasing up her spine. “Good morning yourself, cowboy.”
“What’ve you got goin’ on today?”
She smiled, kissing his chest. “Is that your way of asking me whether I can stick around for a while?”
His calloused hand slid down her back, resting on her hip. “Can you?”
She glanced at the alarm clock, groaning. “I don’t have much time. I have to meet Ty in a bit. We have a rehearsal.”
“Oh yeah? Maybe I can tag along?”
She wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. Soon, she’d be on tour and it would be months before they shared another moment like this. “I’d like that.”
“Damn,” he said, brushing his hands through his hair. “I have to head over to Jimmy’s this morning, hammer out that deal.”
She was glad he was putting down roots, buying a business. That meant he wouldn’t be tempted to go chasing some title that meant risking his life every damn day. “Maybe we can hook up later? The rehearsal should end just after lunch, and I have an interview this afternoon.” She paused. “Then Avery and I have a dinner meeting, but… ” It would be difficult, if not impossible to steal a few moments together over the next couple of weeks, and judging by the tension suddenly emanating from him, she sensed he knew that as well as she did.
“Why don’t you stop by when you’ve taken care of business?”
She propped her head in her palm, resting her weight on one elbow as she looked at him. “You’re not upset, are you? You must have known this was going to be a crazy time for me. It’s not like I’m trying to give you the brush off…”
He touched his finger to her lips, silencing her. “I’m glad to hear that, ‘cause I meant what I said last night. I’m crazy about you, Nik.”
Her stomach lurched. He said he was crazy about her, not that he loved her. Maybe he was having second thoughts about them, given her scheduling demands. Was he beginning to realize how difficult it was going to be to maintain a relationship while she was on the road? If so, would he decide she wasn’t worth the effort?
She slid across the bed, wrapping the sheet around her. “I’d better take a shower. I don’t want to keep Ty waiting.”
He grabbed her wrist, holding her still. “Hey, where do you think you’re going? I’m not finished with you, lady.”
Refusing to look at him, she waited for him to continue. Getting involved with him was a bad idea. She was already emotionally invested and it was taking her focus away from the upcoming tour. A tour she’d been ecstatic about up until a few days ago.
He held her phone up. “I wanted to talk to you about something before you go.”
She reached for the phone, but he held it just out of her reach. “Give me that.”
“Not until you tell me who Grant and David are, sugar.”
“They’re just friends.”
He grunted as he glanced at the screen. “You sure they know that?”
She’d gone to college with both men, dated one briefly, but the trio had remained close since graduation. She didn’t harbor any romantic feelings, and she was pretty sure the feeling was mutual. “Listen, I have male and female friends, J.T. You’re just gonna have to deal with that if you wanna be with me.” Her state of bliss had long since fled; now she was just irritable. She had no intention of sitting here naked being dictated to by a man who would probably be little more than a distant memory by this time next year. Even as she tried to convince herself of that, she knew it was a lie. She wasn’t going to forget about J.T. in a year. Hell, ten years wouldn’t even dull the memory of what it felt like to be in his arms, to share his bed. And that made her angry, at him and herself. If she hadn’t given into the temptation and gone against her better judgment, she wouldn’t be in the position of having to forget about him at all.
“Why don’t you tell me what the hell’s put you in such a mood this morning?”
“I don’t appreciate a man telling me who I can and can’t be friends with, that’s all.” Maybe if he realized she wasn’t the sweet little submissive he was looking for, he would let her go without a fight. Then she could go back to her music and nurse her broken heart in peace. She knew it would happen eventually; better to get it over with before he shattered it beyond repair.