Authors: Alex Sanchez
Tags: #Social Issues, #Dating & Sex, #Gay, #Juvenile Fiction, #Homosexuality, #Fiction, #Interpersonal Relations, #General, #Psychopathology, #Action & Adventure, #Coming Out (Sexual Orientation), #Literary, #Alcoholism, #Drugs; Alcohol; Substance Abuse, #High Schools, #Schools, #Addiction, #School & Education, #Male Homosexuality, #Psychology
A t school he pretended everything was fine. He tried to pay attention in class, studied in the library, stayed close to the team, and trained to exhaustion at basketball practice. He thought he’d have to avoid Kyle but found he didn’t need to. When they crossed in the hall, Kyle turned away as if he didn’t see him. Jason did too, ignoring the ache he felt inside.
One cold mid-winter day, Jason’s SAT scores came in the mail, lower than his earlier ones. If a school didn’t sign him soon, he worried, he might never get a scholarship. Then one afternoon the coach from Tech returned. Following practice, he offered to sign Jason. Without hesitation, Jason agreed. His future was set. He phoned his mom but could hardly say the words. When he got home, he swung her in a circle and twirled his sister in the air. His dad opened a beer and sneered, “You would’ve made a Division One school if you had any brains.” But not even his dad could dampen Jason’s euphoria.
Saturday afternoon, he biked to Corey’s. Together they shot hoops and celebrated. Jason dunked one basket after another as he flew through the air with exhilaration. He felt like he could do anything.
A s he biked homeward, a pickup truck passed so close it nearly sideswiped him. A familiar face leaned out the window and flipped him the bird—Jack Ransom.
A few blocks later Jason approached Bluemont Park. In the distance he saw the truck pulled over beside two guys on the sidewalk. Jack and the pickup driver got out, gesturing at the guys. Suddenly Jack swung.
Jason cautiously biked closer. He now recognized the driver. José Montero swung at one of the two boys. Jason realized it was Nelson.
His heart leapt as he recognized the other boy, being knocked to the ground by Jack. It was Kyle.
In an instant, Jason sprang from the bike and threw it aside. He ran toward Jack, burning with anger. “Leave him alone!” He pushed Jack away, grabbing his shoulder.
Jack shook him off. “Stay out of this!”
Kyle scrambled up off the ground, his chest rising and falling as he breathed.
Jason’s heart pounded. “I said leave him alone.”
“What are you,” Jack scoffed, “a fag lover?”
Jason hit Jack in the face. Jack stumbled backward, falling with a stunned expression.
Kyle shouted, “Nelson!” Jason spun around to see José pinning Nelson to the ground, beating the crap out of him.
Kyle ran toward them, and Jack yelled, “Watch out!”
José jumped up, fists raised. Jason ran over and José swung. But Jason moved back in time to avoid the blow. He jabbed José in the stomach, causing him to double up.
Jack staggered over and grabbed José by the shoulder. “Let’s go.” He gave Jason a scornful look as he led José to the truck. Once they were safely inside, he leaned out the window and yelled, “Faggots!”
Jason ignored him and leaned over Nelson, who seemed dazed. “Hey, you all right?” When Nelson didn’t answer, Jason shook his shoulder. “Hey!”
“Quit shaking me,” Nelson mumbled. “I’m okay.”
He didn’t look it. His face was swollen and his lip gashed. Blood dripped down his chin.
Jason turned to Kyle. His right eye looked badly bruised. He held his wrist out, wincing as he tried to rotate it. “I think something happened to my wrist when I hit Jack.”
“You may have sprained it,” Jason said, standing up. “Let me see.” He took Kyle’s wrist and tenderly probed it. “I don’t think it’s broken.” They were standing very close. He could hear Kyle’s breathing, still heavy. His sweat smelled like his own cologne. He glanced at Kyle’s discolored eye. “Your eye looks pretty bad. Where are your glasses?” Kyle looked around helplessly. “I don’t know.”
Jason spotted them a few feet away and picked them up. One of the side arms had broken off. “Here. Can you see without them?” Kyle pointed to his good eye. “Out of this one I can. A t least he didn’t hit me in the mouth.”
“You lost your cap, too,” Jason said, handing it to Kyle. He felt like he was picking up after his little sister. “How’d it start?” Kyle pointed his chin in Nelson’s direction. “He can’t keep his mouth shut.” Nelson still lay on the ground, patting his lip with his fingertips. “Don’t blame me. They started it.” Jason bent over him. “Need help getting up?”
Nelson rolled over onto his side. “I’m fine.” He tried to push himself up, but when he tried to stand, he winced and fell back down again. “I think my ankle’s twisted.”
Jason grabbed him under the arms. “Easy.”
“I can do it,” Nelson protested, but Jason ignored him, lifting him up.
Nelson tried to stand but cringed when he put any weight on his left foot. “I might’ve sprained it.” Jason shook his head. “You two don’t get in many fights, do you?”
Kyle pulled out his handkerchief and pressed it against Nelson’s lip. “You’re bleeding.”
“I am?”
“Put your arm around my shoulder,” Jason told him. Nelson stared at him, surprised, and Jason realized this was probably the first time he’d ever spoken to Nelson. He draped his arm over his shoulder. “Come on. We’re not far from my house. You can clean up there.” Kyle didn’t budge. “That’s okay. We’ll be all right. I can help Nelson.”
“Kyle,” Nelson said. “Stop being a turd.”
Kyle adjusted his cap, shooting a stubborn glance at Nelson. “A ll right,” he agreed.
“Can you get my bike?” Jason asked.
Kyle picked up Jason’s bike with his good hand, and they proceeded slowly toward Jason’s house.
Jason considered the situation. Here he was with his arm around someone everybody at school knew was gay. Meanwhile, Kyle, whom he’d decided not to have anything more to do with, pushed his bike alongside. A nd now he was taking both home. Did he really want to do that? “So?” he asked. “What happened?”
Kyle wiped his nose. “We were walking to Nelson’s, when the pickup pulls alongside us. Jack yells, ‘Hey, faggots!’ I say to Nelson, ‘Keep your mouth shut.’ But Nelson flips them the finger and yells, ‘Breeders!’ I yank his arm down, but sure enough the truck stops, and Jack and José get out.”
Nelson shifted his weight on Jason’s shoulder. “I tried to keep quiet. Really, I did.” Kyle sighed, holding his hurt wrist in the air while guiding the bike with his good hand. “A nyway, Jack grabs his crotch and says, ‘Hey, queers, you want to suck on this?’ A nd Nelson says to him, ‘I don’t suck on anything that small.’” Jason smiled at the image of Nelson standing up to Jack Ransom. “You said that?” Nelson cracked a grin and his lip started bleeding again. “You should’ve seen his face.”
“Yeah?” Kyle shook his head. “Well, wait till you see your face now.”
“Kyle, whether I said anything or not, they were going to beat us up anyway.” Kyle turned to Jason. “Then you showed up.”
A s they approached his house, Jason spotted his dad’s truck. Oh, crap, he thought. What if he’s been drinking? Would he make a scene about Nelson? With his earrings and nail polish, he looked so … gay. There was no way his dad wouldn’t notice.
A familiar car was parked beside his dad’s truck—friends of his mom and dad’s. That was good. Maybe his dad wouldn’t get too out of line with somebody visiting.
“I’d better warn you,” Jason said, leading Kyle and Nelson toward the garage. “My dad’s kind of crazy. If he says some things, don’t pay attention.” He opened the kitchen door, trying not to be nervous.
His mom came in from the dining room. “I thought I heard …” She gaped at the sight of Kyle and Nelson. “What happened?”
“We got in a fight,” Jason said. “You remember Kyle, and this is Nelson.” She lifted Nelson’s chin in her hand. “You’d better put some alcohol on that lip.” She turned to Kyle. “A nd some ice on that eye. It hurts just to look at it.” She opened the freezer and pulled out the ice trays. “I’ll make a couple of ice packs.” She turned to Jason. “Honey, why don’t you take them to get washed up.”
“What about Dad?”
She glanced at Nelson. “I doubt he’ll say anything right now. If he does, just ignore him.” Right, like ignoring a rhinoceros in your living room. “Ready?” He started for the door, and Nelson hopped after him on his good leg.
Oh, shit. Jason had forgotten about Nelson’s ankle. “Come on,” he told Nelson, and put his arm under his shoulder.
In the living room the Espinozas sat on the couch, drinks in hand, Melissa asleep beside them. Jason’s dad sat in a chair with his back to the boys. Jason stepped as quickly as he could, considering Nelson’s ankle.
“Hey!” His dad turned around. “Whassa matter with you?” His words slurred. “Don’ you have any manners?” He stood up and wavered
—drunk, obviously, but not out of control. He blinked at the sight of his son with his arm around Nelson.
Jason’s throat tightened. “This is Nelson and Kyle. We were in a fight. Nelson twisted his ankle.” His dad’s face contorted as his gaze descended from Nelson’s earrings, across the handkerchief pressed to his bleeding lip, to his black and gold fingernails. He pinched the bridge of his nose and gave his head a quick, sobering shake.
“A fight?” said Mr. Espinoza. “I hope you won.” He smiled, revealing a gold-capped tooth.
“Your mother told us you got a scholarship,” said Mrs. Espinoza.
“Yeah, I signed with Tech.”
His dad jabbed his finger in the air. “Tech ain’ nothin’. You would’a been accepted to Georgetown if you weren’t such a dummy.” A stab of anger plunged through Jason. How could his dad talk like that in front of everyone? His head grew hot, but he bit down on the impulse to fight back.
His mom walked in from the kitchen. “Boys, I fixed you a couple of ice packs in the kitchen.” She patted his dad’s hand. “Honey, let the boys clean up.” Behind his back, she motioned Jason to hurry on.
He took the cue and led Kyle and Nelson down the hall to the guest bathroom.
“I didn’t know you’d signed with Tech,” Nelson said. “Congrats. I mean it.”
“Yeah,” Kyle said. “Congratulations.”
Jason smiled. “Thanks. I signed this week.” He turned the bathroom light on. “Here.” He brought out some cotton and alcohol. “I’ll clean up in the other one.”
A fter splashing some cool water on his face, he stared with disbelief into the mirror. He had actually brought Nelly the faggot to his house—to his father. There would surely be hell to pay later.
Returning to the guest bathroom, he overheard Nelson. “Can you believe he carried me all that way?” Then he heard Kyle grumble,
“Hurry up. I want to go. He doesn’t want any more to do with me, and I don’t want anything to do with him.” The words stung, but Jason couldn’t blame him.
Nelson said, “I’ll take him if you don’t want him.”
Jason stepped into the doorway. “How’s it look?”
Kyle frowned. “I think we’ll have to amputate his mouth.”
For a minute Jason thought maybe Kyle wasn’t really so mad. But as soon as they got to the kitchen, Kyle asked, “Can Nelson use the phone?”
“Sure,” Jason said. “Here are your ice packs.”
The three of them sat at the kitchen table. Nelson crossed his legs, resting the ice pack on his ankle, and dialed his mom. While he told her what had happened, Kyle picked up the other pack. “I don’t know whether to put it on my eye or my wrist.”
“Which hurts more?” Jason asked.
“My wrist.”
Jason reached for it. Kyle held back at first, giving him a wary look, then he hesitantly let him take his arm.
Nelson, still talking with his mom, noticed them and made a big show of turning away.
Jason ignored him, gently placing the ice pack on top of Kyle’s forearm. Cradling the soft wrist reminded him of the movie theater and holding Kyle’s hand. He couldn’t believe he was now actually doing this in his own house with his dad in the next room. “How’s that feel?” he asked.
“Uh, fine,” Kyle said, his voice quivering. Their eyes met and held for an instant before Kyle anxiously glanced away. “Do you think your dad will say anything about Nelson?”
Jason shrugged. “I don’t care.” He glanced toward the living room. “I wish he’d just leave.” He didn’t want to think about his dad right now. In spite of everything, he was enjoying the moment with Kyle. He carefully adjusted the ice pack on Kyle’s wrist and thought about what he wanted to say next. “Listen.” He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry about, uh, you know, the cafeteria.” Kyle gave him a hard look and then relaxed. “I guess I’m sorry too. That I called you a creep.”
“No, you were right. I’m pretty screwed up.”
“Well, you were brave this afternoon. Nelson and I would be in a lot worse shape if you hadn’t come along.” Jason shrugged off the praise. “I never liked Jack Ransom anyway. I think what you did with your locker—now that took guts.” They both laughed and their eyes met again. Jason felt a familiar stirring in his heart. Given that he and Kyle had kissed the last time they were together, it was a no-brainer what might happen next.
Just then Nelson hung up the phone. He cleared his throat extremely loudly and turned back to face them. “My mom’s pretty upset.
She’ll be here in two minutes.”
Jason’s cat sauntered in, tail in the air, sniffing toward Nelson. Nelson stretched his palm out, cooing softly to him. “You must be the cat that fetches. Kyle told me about you.”
Jason laughed. “That’s right. Watch.” He crumpled a paper napkin and tossed it across the room. Rex ran after it, batted it around the carpet, then bit into it and brought it to Nelson.
Nelson laughed. “I love it.” He tossed the paper napkin again.
The cat’s ears pricked up. The Espinozas were saying goodbye in the living room. Nelson turned to Jason, as if he wanted to say something. “Hey, thanks for rescuing us this afternoon. I feel like I owe you an apology.”
“For what?” Jason asked.
“Well, for being such a jerk to you all this time.”
Jason thought about it. “I’m the one who should apologize to you.”
Nelson extended his hand across the table. “Shake?”
Without hesitation, Jason shook hands. Nelson smiled. “I hope I didn’t freak your dad out too much.” Jason bit a fingernail. “He’ll get over it.”