Authors: Alex Sanchez
Tags: #Social Issues, #Dating & Sex, #Gay, #Juvenile Fiction, #Homosexuality, #Fiction, #Interpersonal Relations, #General, #Psychopathology, #Action & Adventure, #Coming Out (Sexual Orientation), #Literary, #Alcoholism, #Drugs; Alcohol; Substance Abuse, #High Schools, #Schools, #Addiction, #School & Education, #Male Homosexuality, #Psychology
“Well … could you still go without a scholarship?” Kyle asked.
Jason shrugged. “I don’t know how I’d pay for it. My mom can’t afford it, especially with my dad gone. I could get loans, but not enough to go away. I’d probably stay home and go to a community college, then transfer later.” Kyle felt his heart sink. More than anything, he wanted to be with Jason. But did he want it enough to put aside his dream of going away to a university?
“I hate this!” Kyle blurted out. “Our society is crazy. Why should we even have to deal with this? Our whole future together shouldn’t hinge on whether you’re honest and come out. It’s homophobic b.s.”
Jason leaned back, looking a little blown away by Kyle’s outburst.
“I’m sorry.” Kyle took a deep breath. “I didn’t mean to go off like that.”
“It’s okay. I’m sorry I brought all this up. It isn’t your problem.”
“It is my problem,” Kyle told him. “If you don’t go to Tech, where would that leave me? What you decide affects both of us.” Jason looked back at him, a solemn look on his face. “Maybe I should forget all this,” he said softly.
“How?” Kyle said. “It’s not going to go away. Do you want to go through college like this? What happens if they find out after you’re already there and take away your scholarship then?”
Jason bit into a fingernail. “I hadn’t thought of that.”
“A t least,” Kyle said soothingly, “if you come out now, you’d be, I don’t know, like, a role model—someone people would look up to.”
“Yeah, right,” Jason said. “No one’s going to look up to me.”
“I do,” Kyle said, staring deeply into Jason’s brown eyes.
Jason pursed his lips into a little pout. “Yeah, well, you’re biased. You’re the role model, not me.”
“Oh yeah?” Kyle asked. “A nd you’re not biased?”
Jason’s mouth opened in a wide show of teeth. “Maybe.” Kyle thought how much he loved those teeth, that mouth, this boy. He considered what he was about to say and, fighting all common sense, he said it: “If you feel like you need to come out to your coach, then I think you should do it.”
Jason gazed back at him, sighing, and slumped down in his chair. In the process, his knee bumped against Kyle’s.
Kyle let it rest there and reached across the table for Jason’s hand.
Jason flashed a glance toward the door. A n instant later they were on their feet, pressed against each other. Jason’s lips devoured Kyle’s, tasting of chocolate-raspberry cake, sweeter than the original.
A s Kyle’s tongue rolled across Jason’s, he no longer cared about college next year. He only wanted to live this moment, forever. Except
…
From the doorway came a giggle. Startled, the boys jumped apart.
Melissa stared at them, carrying her empty plate and milk glass. “Were you two kissing?” Jason, bright red, darted a questioning glance at Kyle, but Kyle looked away, embarrassed. It was up to Jason what he told his sister, though Kyle hoped he’d be truthful.
Jason cleared his throat. “Um, yeah.” He hurriedly took her plate and glass. “Don’t tell Ma, okay?” Melissa glanced at Kyle. “I won’t.” Giggling, she skipped out of the room.
“Oh, man!” Jason brought his fingers to his forehead. “I can’t believe she saw us.”
“A t least you were honest with her,” Kyle said, patting him on the shoulder. “That’s great.” Jason rubbed his temples. “I’m glad you think so.”
The front door sounded as Mrs. Carrillo came home. Fortunately, Melissa kept her word, not saying anything about the boys’ kiss while Jason’s mom chatted with them, thanking Kyle for the cake.
Before Kyle left, Jason handed him a pair of tickets for the game Friday. “For you and your dad. Can you come?”
“Of course!” Kyle beamed.
A s he walked home through the cold, dark night, past brick houses with blue-hazed windows and dogs barking in yards, he thought how clear his life had seemed only two hours earlier. Now everything seemed so uncertain. What if Jason did lose his scholarship? Would Kyle stick by him no matter what? Wasn’t that part of loving someone?
Kyle felt the game tickets in his pocket, desperately hoping he wouldn’t regret encouraging Jason to come out to his coach.
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