Leaning over the sink, I stared at my
bloodshot eyes in the mirror and a fresh wave of shame washed over
me. What was I doing?
Chapter Eleven
“
You’re lying, Bella,” Seth
accused. Shrugging, I shot the four ball into the corner pocket.
“And how’d you get so good at pool?”
“
Lance taught me,” I said
as I surveyed the table, looking for my next shot.
“
Yeah well he better not be
teaching you anything else,” Seth threatened, eyes growing dark. I
smacked the back of his head and quickly scurried around the other
side of the table, out of his reach.
“
So, Jake Johnson is really
coming here tomorrow? You’re not lying?” he asked, flattening the
back of his hair.
I grinned, light hearted, and pulled my
phone from my pocket. “Do you want to call him yourself?”
He shook his head, funny little smile on his
face. He eyed the balls left on the table. “And he took you to the
Fall Festival dance?”
“
Yeah,” I laughed. I’d
already filled him in on the entire story.
“
So why don’t you date Jake
instead of Lance Roberts? Lance is an idiot.”
“
He is not! And Jake and I
are just friends.” I missed my shot and scowled at my brother.
“When are the parents going to be home?”
My parents often took every opportunity to
go away together. They were still so disgustingly in love that it
was almost cool.
“
Tomorrow some
time.”
“
Well I hope they actually
come back when they say they are. I’m not sure how long Jake can
stay.” We hadn’t discussed many of the finer details—just agreed
he’d come on Tuesday. I knew he probably wanted to spend
Thanksgiving with his dad and sister.
Seth sank the eight ball with a superior
smirk as his phone shrilled in his pocket. He dug it out, gave the
screen a queer little smile before taking the call. He turned his
back on me and spoke softly as I pulled all the balls out of the
pockets and prepared to rack them again. I leaned against the wall
patiently until he finally faced me.
“
You’re better,” he said,
pointing his stick at the table. “But you still suck.” He crammed
his stick in the holder hanging on the wall. “And I can’t play
anymore. I have to go.”
“
Hey! Where are you going?
Who was on the phone?” My heart sank. I didn’t want to sit in the
house alone.
A queer smile flashed across his lips. “A
friend. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I sighed and shot the cue at the neat rack.
What was I going to do now?
***
I settled in front of the television, a
literal junk food buffet spread around me, when my cell phone rang.
I grabbed it, not checking the number, hoping it was Jake.
“
Hello!” I greeted
cheerfully.
“
Hey, baby,” Lance said.
“Do you miss me yet?”
My heart thumped a couple times. “Sure. What
are you doing?”
“
Nothing,” he exhaled.
“It’s so boring around here. I’m thinking of having a little get
together tomorrow night. Do you want to come?”
I attempted to swallow the huge lump in my
throat. I didn’t want to disappoint him but I could hardly abandon
Jake. “What do your parents think of this party?”
“
They’re in Mexico with
Dean’s folks. They won’t even be back for Thanksgiving. So what do
you think? You can stay the night so you don’t have to worry about
driving home.”
I nibbled on my bottom lip. “Well, Jake is
supposed to be coming to town tomorrow. I sort of need to be
here.”
The line went silent and I worried I’d upset
him. When he spoke, his tone was curt. “I thought I’d rate a little
higher than a friend, Bella.”
“
Maybe I can bring him?” I
offered in a weak voice, not exactly sure Jake would want to go.
He’d been fine with taking me to a dance but would he be okay with
going to a party where there would no doubt be a bunch of drinking
teenagers?
“
Sure,” he said without
much enthusiasm. “Talk to you later.”
I closed my eyes on the tears that were sure
to fall. Why were boys so horribly temperamental and terribly
complicated?
***
I woke up Tuesday to sun pouring into my
window. It lifted my spirits and I actually whistled a Controlled
Environment song as I made my way to the kitchen. Seth was slumped
over the counter, shoveling cereal into his mouth, one eye on his
phone.
“
Why are you in such a big
hurry?”
“
Going with Mike and some
guys to a concert in Chicago,” he said between bites. I scrunched
up my nose and turned my head.
“
You don’t to leave so
early, do you?”
He dumped the remainder of his cereal in the
sink. “We’re going to hang out downtown for a bit. I’ll be back
tomorrow.” He ruffled my hair and started out of the room.
“
What about Jake?” I
shouted. He didn’t answer so I stood at the foot of the stairs and
waited for him to come back down. He did, after about ten minutes,
bag slung over his shoulder.
“
Jake?” I asked, one brow
raised.
“
I’ll meet him next time,”
he said. “Sorry. Oh, and Dad called. They won’t be home until
tomorrow night.” He flashed a quick smile, mussed my hair again and
darted out the door.
Wonderful.
I ran upstairs to retrieve my cell phone so
I could break the news to Jake. Falling on my back on the rumpled
bed, I turned on the phone. A sigh breezed through my lips when my
phone informed me that I’d missed a couple calls. I dialed my voice
mail only to hear Jake’s disappointed voice.
What was it Murphy said?
Iz, I wish you’d turn on your phone! I need
to talk to you. Something came up and I have to leave town. I won’t
be back until Wednesday night or Thursday morning. I’m really
sorry. I’ll call you when I can.
“
This can’t be happening,”
I mumbled, rubbing my forehead to fend off the developing headache.
Sitting up, I surveyed my bedroom, not really seeing the rock
posters on the walls or the pictures shoved into the framed mirror
of my dresser. Nibbling my lip, I considered my next move. Nothing
was going to plan,
I heaved an extra-large sigh and called
Lance.
***
Lance’s house was huge – simple as that. A
two-story Victorian, complete with browning ivy creeping up the
side, it towered over the other houses on the street. I knew his
parents were well off but I didn’t know they lived in a mansion. I
rang the bell and he answered immediately, pulling me into a tight
hug.
“
Glad you could make it,
baby,” he said. He pressed his lips to mine and I was totally
unprepared. I gasped for air and grasped his shirt, making him
smirk, confident in his kissing abilities. Taking my hand, he
dragged me through the living room and kitchen to the basement rec
room, allowing me a mere glimpse of the antique furniture or the
elegant gourmet kitchen.
The rec room was vast—like the rest of the
house—and decorated in true man style: Heavy furniture, pool table
and tons of sports memorabilia. Quite a few people were already
congregating around the polished bar and some of them were already
inebriated.
Lance offered me a beer, and I took it. I
was determined to have a good time. He pushed me on a bar stool,
pecked me on the lips and said he’d be right back. I swiveled the
stool to face the bar, admiring the beer signs and sports posters
Lance’s father had tacked to the walls as I sipped at the foamy
liquid in my cup.
I’d tried to call Jake on my way to Lance’s
house. I had wanted to leave a message and tell him it was okay but
someone else had answered. A female someone. A female someone with
a French accent. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out
who that was. When I’d asked for Jake, she demanded to know who was
calling. I never answered. I had just ended the call and tossed the
phone on the passenger seat, wiping the tears from my eyes. How
pathetic.
My eyes stung again as I thought of Jake. He
didn’t owe me any explanations whatsoever. Of course I was
disappointed that he wouldn’t be spending time with me but I didn’t
own him. He could date Monique if he wanted. I was dating Lance,
after all.
He’d tried to call twice on the drive over
but I ignored it. I hadn’t a clue what to say.
I finished off my beer and some guy I’d
never met refilled my cup without waiting for me to ask. I thanked
him when he slid it in front of me. Sniffing, I sucked back my
tears before I tipped the cup to my lips.
“
Come mingle, Bella,” Lance
urged. He smiled at my near empty glass and encouraged me to finish
it. I did, and he tossed it to the bartender to fill again. My head
was already fogging up, but I wasn’t concerned about it—Lance would
look out for me.
Lance introduced me to everyone proudly,
dropping sweet kisses on my head every so often, and I melted into
his side. I’d had way too much to drink again, but I wasn’t
worried. Annie and Cammy weren’t around to judge, and Jake was too
busy with Monique to chastise me.
As the party died down and people began to
drift either to the bedrooms or their vehicles, Lance fetched my
overnight bag and showed me to a guest room. He shut the door and
pulled me into his arms.
“
You can stay in my room
with me if you’d like.”
My stomach gave a nervous lurch as I shook
my head. Chuckling, he placed a gentle kiss on my lips. I leaned
into him, winding my arms around his neck. He pressed closer as his
kisses turned urgent and backed me up until I fell on the bed, him
on top of me. He continued to kiss me, his breath hot and his hands
busy, trying to find the hem of my shirt. Panic seized my heart,
and I struggled beneath him.
“
Lance,” I gasped when my
mouth finally broke free. “Stop.”
“
Bella,” he groaned. “Don’t
be so scared. I love you.”
My eyes grew as my heart stopped. He took my
silence as permission and began to kiss my face and my neck softly.
I shuddered but I wasn’t sure if it was in pleasure or fear. His
hands moved slowly under my shirt. Before I knew what was
happening, he had it over my head and tossed it to the floor. His
hands were everywhere, then, as well as his mouth. I didn’t know
what to do. The alcohol made me clumsy and my reflexes slow.
When he reached for the snap on my jeans, I
jumped. My clouded mind screamed at me to stop him. I finally
thawed enough to bat his hand away and scoot out from under
him.
“
I’m not ready for this,
Lance,” I said, terrified he’d either force me or laugh in my face.
I crossed my arms over my chest in an attempt to hide my bra. I
longed for my big brother to stand behind me, threatening Lance to
leave his little sister alone.
But Lance did neither. He flopped to his
back, breath ragged. “Fine, Bella. It’s fine.”
My trembling lips warned me that the
waterworks were open. I hoped I’d be able to hold back the tears
until he left.
“
Sorry,” I
mumbled.
He rolled to his side and ran his knuckle
lightly over my cheek. “Don’t worry about it. Maybe next time.” I
forced a smile as he pulled me closer. “I’m a little drunk, anyway.
Let’s just grab some sleep.”
Nodding, I closed my eyes, squeezing them
tightly to keep the tears at bay. It didn’t take long for his
snores to echo in the room but it took a lot longer for sleep to
find me.
***
As soon as the sun made its presence known I
untangled my body from Lance’s and scurried out of the room, my bag
in hand, until I found a bathroom. I turned on the shower, the
water scorching, and stood under the spray. The tears came, in huge
bursts, and I stood in the shower until they stopped.
What an idiot.
What if I hadn’t been able to stop him last
night? What then? I needed to heed Annie’s advice and lay off the
alcohol. She was right. It just wasn’t me.
When I finally stepped out of the shower and
dressed, I wanted to leave before Lance or any of the others woke.
I longed to climb in my bed and curl into a tight ball until my
parents came home. I wouldn’t tell them, of course. They were very
cool parents and I was lucky to have them, but I really doubted if
they’d approve of my recent behavior.
I exited the bathroom and ran smack dab into
Lance.
“
Where’s the fire, baby?”
he asked, pulling me to his chest.
“
I need to get home. My
parents will be back soon.” The lie slipped out easier than I
thought.
He stepped back and looked into my eyes. “I
hope this isn’t about last night. I promise you, I’d never make you
do anything you didn’t want to do. I was a little drunk and I got
carried away. Don’t be mad.”
Relief flooded my heart. I smiled and kissed
him lightly on the lips. “It’s okay, really. But I do need to get
home. I didn’t tell my parents where I’d be.”
He cupped my cheek, placing tender kisses
near my mouth. “Sure you can’t stay for breakfast at least?”
For a second, I nearly gave in – just for a
second. But I desperately wanted to get home and mull over my
feelings. “I’m sure. Thanks, though.”
He picked up the bag I’d dropped at his feet
and walked me to the front door. He kissed me again. “Call me when
you get home.”
***
The remainder of my Thanksgiving break
passed quietly. I had a nice dinner with my parents, Seth and my
grandfather. We caught up and my dad quizzed me relentlessly about
Lance. He must have forgotten about Jake because he made no mention
of him whatsoever. But I thought of him. Often.