An empty feeling gnawed at my stomach. It
had started Saturday night when I had walked Jake to his car and
told him goodbye, and it had only grown larger every time I thought
about him.
Lance nodded vaguely. We reached the
building, and he put out a hand to prevent me from opening the
door. I looked at him in alarm.
“
I broke things off with
Krysti Saturday night. I don’t know what I was thinking when I got
back with her.”
I didn’t know what to say
so I just kept my mouth shut, for once. I listened as he went on
about how fake she was and how she was only concerned with
appearances. I managed to keep my eye roll at bay. I mean, how
could he
not
know
how shallow Krysti was? And why, exactly, did he think I
cared?
“
I guess I wanted to thank
you and um, Jake for pointing that out to me.”
Wait, what? I crossed my arms over my chest
and straightened to my full height. I knew it wasn’t very
intimidating but I tried. “What are you talking about, Lance?”
He shrugged. “When Jake kind of let Krysti
have it for making out with the roadie, I guess I realized how
little self-respect she must have. I don’t want to be with someone
like that.” I had no comment so he smiled. “Anyway, thank Jake for
me when you talk to him next, will you?”
“
Sure,” I muttered, having
no intention whatsoever. I reached for the door again but he beat
me to it and opened it for me. I headed toward the food line,
startled to find Lance still behind me. I figured he’d run off to
join Dean and his other little friends.
“
So, are you and Jake
dating now?”
I was considering hiring a sky writer to
announce to the school that no, I was not dating Jake. “Jake and I
are friends. I don’t know why people keep asking me that.”
Lance’s shoulders relaxed and a knowing grin
toyed with his lips. “Oh, I don’t know. Probably because of how
protective he was and how close you two seemed.”
I did roll my eyes this time – Jake’s little
quirk most have rubbed off on me. “That’s just Jake. That’s the way
he is.” I decided not to waste my time or food by filling a tray of
stuff I wouldn’t eat. I stepped out of line but Lance snagged my
arm.
“
Do you really think that
Jake only sees you as a friend?”
I blinked slowly. What was the big deal?
“
Yes. We’ve only known each
other for a month or so. Okay, so we talk on the phone a lot, and
I’ve told him stuff I’ve never told any guy, including Seth, but
still, you know, we’re just friends.” There goes the rambling mouth
again.
Lance considered me for a moment before
releasing my arm. “Whatever you say, Bella. I need to find Dean.
I’ll talk to you later.”
I nodded and watched him walk away.
***
About a week later, I sat in the Student
Center working on my Calculus homework with one eye on VTV. It
wasn’t very conducive to studying but it was better than my room.
Annie and Cammy were experimenting with facial stuff and the smell
was enough to gag a skunk.
A couple of freshmen were at one table,
discussing a Bio project but other than that, the place was
deserted. I was struggling with a problem when I heard Jake’s name
and my eyes shot to the television.
A photo of the band appeared behind the
heavily made-up VJ as she described a movie premiere, for what
movie, I hadn’t a clue. The VJ turned to the monitor behind her as
footage rolled of a red carpet event and there was Jake, arm around
the tiny waist of an actress I recognized as Monique DuVois. I
didn’t hear a word she said to her interviewer – my eyes were on
Jake. He wore a smirk on his lips and a bored expression in his
eyes. He looked nothing like my Jake. Once Monique finished
speaking, she wrapped her arms around Jake’s waist and smiled
warmly at him. He returned her smile and led her away toward the
swanky theater. My stomach twisted so violently I thought I was
going to lose my dinner.
I slammed my book shut, attracting the
attention of the freshmen, and crammed it in my bag. I stormed out
of the Center, amid curious glances, and stomped back to my dorm.
As I approached my building, I slowed my pace. What was wrong with
me? Hadn’t I just spent the last week or so convincing people that
Jake and I were just friends? Was Jake not allowed to date because
he’d escorted me to a high school dance?
Groaning, I opened the door, slinging my bag
on my bed. Traces of the facial smell still hung in the air though
not quite so powerful and Annie lifted a brow at my anger. She
dropped the tabloid she was reading and watched as I paced the
room.
“
What’s wrong,
Bella?”
I plopped on my bed, landing on my book bag,
and cursed. “Damn it!”
Annie’s brows shot to her hairline. I wasn’t
much of a potty mouth. “Problems?”
I scrunched up my nose, fighting tears of
pain and … something else. “I just saw Jake on TV. He was at a
movie premier with some actress.”
“
Jealous?” she asked,
irritating little smile on her face.
I froze, eyes wide in terror. Was I?
“
I don’t know,” I admitted
in a barely audible whisper. I stared at the wall. “At least that
explains why he hasn’t called me since he returned to
California.”
Annie dropped in my desk chair and booted up
my laptop. Once she connected to the Internet, she pulled up
Controlled Environment’s website. I smiled when a picture of Jake
and the band appeared on the monitor. Annie chuckled and clicked on
the TOUR link.
“
Look,” she ordered,
pointing the mouse arrow on all the tour dates. “He’s been all over
L.A. this week and will be touring most of California until
Thanksgiving.”
“
I know. He told me.” I
hated it when Annie made a valid point. Why couldn’t she let me
pout in peace? “He just failed to mention Monique
DuVois.”
Annie’s eyes brightened and she bit her lip.
“Monique DuVois, huh?” I just nodded. Annie Googled Monique’s name
and scrolled through a couple links until she found one she liked.
She gazed at me uneasily before nodding at the screen. “Read
that.”
Monique made her American
Film debut when she was fifteen years-old, playing the role of
Gabrielle in the film “The French Student.” Monique was born in
Lyons, France and started acting at the tender age of
3
.
“
Scroll through the boring
stuff,” Annie muttered, grabbing the mouse from me. “Here’s what I
want you to read.”
In early summer of this year, Monique and
her boyfriend, bad boy Jake Johnson, lead singer of the group
Controlled Environment, split up after eighteen months. Monique
claims it was a mutual, friendly break and insists that the two are
still very close.
“
Jake is someone very
special to me,” Monique stated on the set of her latest movie due
to premier this fall. “He’ll always be in my life as well as in my
heart.”
Of course there had to be a picture of the
two. I sighed. They did look beautiful together. Monique’s sleek,
dark hair hung elegantly over her shoulders, her brown eyes warm.
Jake’s chin rested on her shoulder as his arms wrapped around her
waist. He was smiling, the corners of his eyes crinkling. It tore
at my heart. Happiness seeped from them, spilling out of the
computer monitor. My stomach twisted again.
“
How come I didn’t know
about this?” I asked.
“
Well, do you two ever talk
about former loves?”
“
No,” I answered slowly,
realizing another subject I’d never broached with Jake. Maybe
because I never really had a boyfriend before. How selfish. “We
mostly talk about what’s going on now. And how do you know this and
I don’t?”
“
Because I’m more into the
people and you’re more into the music. Do you know anything about
Jake’s band mates?”
I screwed up my face, trying to remember if
Jake ever said anything about them. “Nick has been his best friend
since they met in elementary school. He met Ronnie a few years
later and Matt was last to join the band.” I smiled a bit smug.
“
But do you know anything
else about them?”
Okay, she had me. But to be fair, I didn’t
think Jake knew a whole lot about Annie and Cammy, either. Jake and
I were still getting to know each other. “Not really.”
“
See, you’re into the music
and I’m into the people,” she reiterated. “I read all the news
magazines.”
“
You mean trashy tabloids,
don’t you?”
“
Call it what you will,”
she shrugged nonchalantly. “But they’re very
informative.”
I blew a puff of air at a strand of hair in
my face as my gaze found the picture of Jake and Monique again. “I
guess I don’t understand how we can talk so much and not really
know each other.”
“
Bella,” Annie
commiserated, arm around my shoulders. “Neither of you are going
anywhere. And you’re not about to get married. Don’t rush it. You
have plenty of time to talk and get to know each other
better.”
I knew she was right and didn’t need to tell
her. I guess I just thought after that magical night and all the
talking we did that we’d somehow absorbed every detail of each
other’s lives. I should have known better, though, because hadn’t I
had trouble filling out a simple permission form about him so he
could escort me to the dance?
I clicked the BACK button and returned to
Controlled Environment’s website. I scrolled through the tour
dates, trying to find out when he’d finally be finished.
“
Look,” Annie, jabbing her
finger at the screen. “Controlled Environment is doing that college
tour with Flyby and Rhetorical Outlook. They’re going to be at
Seth’s school after the holidays!”
“
I wonder,” I began. An
idea formulated in my head and I scrambled for my cell phone. I hit
Jake’s number without even looking, Monique temporarily forced from
my mind.
“
What?” Annie asked as I
waited for Jake to answer. I was about to hang up when his tired
voice greeted me.
“
Hey, Iz. Long time no
talk. Is everything okay?”
“
Yeah,” I said slowly. “How
about you? You sound exhausted. Are you getting enough
rest?”
He chuckled softly and while the sound did
rouse a flock of goose bumps, it didn’t relieve my anxiety. “Sure,
angel. We played our final L.A. show last night and spent the day
in meetings at the studio.”
“
That sucks,” I
commiserated. “Do you get to go home and rest soon?”
“
Yeah, that’s the plan,” he
said, yawning in the phone. “So what’s up? School going
okay?”
“
Actually,” I said,
nibbling at my lip. “I was calling to ask for another
favor.”
He grunted a tired laugh. “Anything, Iz.
Need me to take you to prom? Want to auction me off for your
beloved Drama Club?”
I smiled at his humor. “Not a bad idea,” I
murmured, earning another bout of laughter. “But seriously, Annie
and I were checking out your website and I see you’re doing the
college tour in January.”
“
Yeah, we can’t wait. It’s
going to be fun.”
“
Well,” I said, stretching
out every syllable. “You’re going to be at Seth’s school. Do you
think you can finagle me a couple tickets to give him for
Christmas?”
“
Is that all?” he
snorted.
“
What do you mean, is that
all?” I frowned. “It’s kind of a big deal to us mere mortals, you
know.”
“
Hold on,” he said, still
laughing. I heard him yell at someone on his end. I strained to
make out the conversation but he must have been covering the phone.
He came back a couple minutes later. “Not a problem. I’ll send them
to you. How many do you need? Rob said you can have as many as you
want.”
“
Who’s Rob?”
“
He produces our stuff. And
runs the studio. He’s the one who discovered us, you
know.”
Oh,
that
Rob. I rolled my eyes
sarcastically and Annie furrowed her brow, anxious to know
everything Jake said. “I guess just four.”
“
Are you going to come?” he
asked.
“
Maybe. Seth’s school is
not too far from here.” Of course I’d be there but I couldn’t tell
him that. I didn’t want to appear like a stalker.
“
Just let me know. You
don’t need a ticket; I’ll get you in.”
“
Thanks so much,” I gushed.
I took a deep breath, not wanting to end the call but not wanting
to bring up Monique, either. Annie nudged me and I shot her a dirty
look.
“
Something wrong?” Jake
asked.
I bit my lip. Hard. I winced as Annie nudged
me again. “I saw you on television a little while ago. On the VTV
News. At a movie premier.”
He was quiet for a moment and I was afraid
we’d been cut off or something. “Oh. With Monique, huh?”
No, with Daisy Duck.
“
Yeah. Her. Was it
fun?”
His dry laugh startled me. “The movie sucked
but the premier party was all right.” He went silent again. “You
know, Iz, if you want to ask me something, just do it. I wouldn’t
lie to you. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”
“
I…um…don’t. I just…you
know…saw you on TV. That’s all,” I stammered.
He sighed and I could picture him running
his hands through his dark hair. “Well, in case you were wondering,
yeah, I do see Monique every now and again. She’s fun. But it’s
nothing serious.”