“
Yeah, here,” he said,
handing me his bottle. “Help yourself while I chase these
geeks.”
He attempted a gruesome laugh as he
disappeared on the other side of the curtain. I held the bottle
loosely in my hand, not wanting to drink anymore. My head already
felt light and my stomach definitely was not happy. I leaned
against the wall, closed my eyes and wondered vaguely where Annie
and Cammy were.
Lance returned, giddy at his scare success.
He took the bottle from me, frown marring his handsome
features.
“
Finish it off, baby. I
have another bottle.” He gripped my chin and kissed me gently,
melting my cold heart. I sighed when he moved away and shook the
bottle in front of me. I finished the contents, eager to make him
happy, and was rewarded with a wide smile. The familiar head spin
returned, and my inhibitions faded. I grabbed a handful of his
shirt and yanked him against my body. I pressed my lips to his, and
he gladly reciprocated. His hands were everywhere, and I knew if I
didn’t stop him soon, I wouldn’t be able to later.
I ripped my lips from his, my chest
heaving.
“
Lance,” I mumbled. His
mouth was at the base of my neck, my collarbone, my shoulder.
“Lance, stop!”
He lifted his hazy eyes to mine. “Don’t
worry, baby, no one can see us back here.” He ducked his head but I
pushed him away.
“
I don’t want to do this,”
I told him, tears forming in my eyes. “Please.”
Cursing, he sighed, and ran a hand through
his heavily gelled hair. He gave me an awkward, one-armed hug.
“
Sorry,” he muttered. He
released me so quickly that I stumbled into the wall, hands splayed
against the bricks. He didn’t notice as he fumbled around in the
dark and produced another two liter bottle, grinning triumphantly
as he opened the cap and took a long drink.
My hands trembled as the dark walls started
to close in on me. I wanted to escape this black dungeon and find
my friends.
Lance handed me the bottle, and I accepted a
little too greedily, gulping at the fiery liquid. Instantly my
trembles stopped and the lightheadedness resumed.
“
Let’s get out of here,” he
said, taking my hand.
“
Don’t you need to stay
until the end?” I asked.
“
It’s close enough.
Besides, it’s getting lame.”
I didn’t argue—I was too happy to get out of
there. I followed closely as he maneuvered through the maze and
sucked in a huge breath of fresh air when he pushed open the doors.
He tossed an empty two liter into the bushes and continued sipping
at the fresh one. I could see the flames from the bonfire reaching
toward the sky and hurried toward it, eager for its warmth.
My feet were not steady, and I depended
solely on Lance to keep me from falling to the ground. Clinging to
him, my frantic eyes searched every face for signs of my friends.
But Lance steered me towards his group instead. They were gathered
in a select crowd, passing around two liter bottles. I recognized a
few from the football team and a couple girls from the cheerleading
squad but the others were kids I didn’t think Lance and his elite
group associated with much. They were the ‘troublemakers’, the kids
whose parents had too much money and not enough time.
I held tighter to Lance’s hand, gripping his
arm with my free hand. He kissed the top of my head before greeting
his friends. Kimberly sidled next to me and offered her bottle. I
meant to shake my head but thought twice. The spinning was bad
enough – I didn’t need to add to it.
“
Are you okay, Bella?” she
asked.
“
Sure,” I muttered, my
throat on fire and my voice hoarse.
She forced her bottle in my hand. “Take a
drink. It will help.”
I did, afraid to offend her. It burned my
throat and tears returned to my eyes. Wobbling, I grabbed Lance’s
arm to steady myself. He glanced down at me, frown on his face. I
forced a watery smile so he winked and turned his attention back to
his buddies.
Meanwhile, on my other side, Kimberly burst
into a fit of giggles.
“
That stuff is strong! But
it’s soooo good!” She leaned closer and I flinched at her breath.
“Jessica told me that Scott told her that Lance said he was in love
with you.”
My phone vibrated in my pocket but I ignored
it, too intent on Kimberly’s declaration. Suddenly my drunken heart
soared above the flames, and I instinctively squeezed Lance’s arm.
He didn’t notice. I gazed at his face in total adoration which sent
Kimberly into another fit of giggles. She gave a wistful sigh as a
cheesy smile appeared on her lips.
“
You’re so
lucky.”
I snuggled closer to Lance, taking
Kimberly’s words to heart. Yes, I was very lucky.
Lance bent his head, mouth close to my ear,
and asked if I was ready to leave. As much as I loved hanging all
over him, my head wasn’t in the best shape. I nodded, like a moron,
and he walked me to my dorm.
I stumbled into my room, kicked off my shoes
and fell on my bed. Annie wasn’t back yet and I was sort of
grateful for that - I didn’t know what she’d say about my current
state. Yanking my phone out of my pocket, it began to vibrate just
as I was about to drop it to the floor. Checking the number, I
closed my eyes and exhaled. It was Jake.
I let it go to voice mail.
***
“
Don’t get too close to her
face. She has dragon breath.”
“
Bella?” Cammy whispered. I
cracked open an eye only to find Cammy hovering over my bed,
wringing her nervous hands. “Do you feel all right?”
A dull thud echoed somewhere in the back of
my head and my stomach was a little dodgy but I felt like I’d live.
I sat up slowly. “I’m fine.”
“
Good,” she answered,
relief in her smile.
Annie regarded me over the magazine she’d
been reading on her bed. Cammy sat next to her, same look in her
eyes. I wondered if they were waiting for me to perform tricks. “I
couldn’t find you two last night. Where were you?”
“
Well,” Annie said, drawing
the word out as she set her magazine carefully on her bed. “After
you ditched us for Lance, we ran into Karen and Alicia so we hung
out with them.”
“
We saw you surrounded by
all of Lance’s friends,” Cammy said. “You looked like you were
having fun.”
I recalled the bottles passing through the
crowd and how my head had been spinning. I remembered not caring
for some—most—of the kids that were swapping bottles and insulting
freshmen. “Not really. I wish you would have rescued me.”
“
Did you get drunk?” Annie
asked, eyes hard and tone curt.
I shrugged and averted my gaze. She bounced
from her bed to mine, jostling my already churlish stomach. “Bella,
what are you doing? No boy is worth drinking. You could get in
trouble or become addicted to the stuff or something. That’s just
not you.”
“
I know,” I said as I slid
off the bed. “I just sort of joined in with the rest of them. I
know it was stupid. It won’t happen again.”
“
I hope not,” Annie said
dubiously. She stood next to me and wrapped an arm around my
shoulders. “Why don’t you take a shower and we’ll go grab some
lunch.”
“
Lunch?” I asked in
disbelief. Had I really slept the morning away?
“
It’s nearly noon,” Cammy
said.
With a weak groan, I trudged to the
bathroom.
***
November began cold, dreary and rainy.
Getting from building to building was a miserable chore. Lance met
me at most of my classes, umbrella ready and waiting. My heart
always pounded at the sight of him and I was afraid one day it
would jump straight out of my chest.
We continued to see each other, often going
into town on the Fridays after the home games and to some party on
Saturday nights. And every single party was fully stocked with all
the alcohol one could imagine. I wondered if the parents of these
kids were aware of how much drinking actually occurred at these
parties.
Ms. Norbert, our drama
teacher, held auditions for the spring musical. She decided we
would do a musical she’d composed relating to high school clichés
and dramas
.
I was
thrilled. Only those closest to me knew what a freak I was for
anything musical, and I couldn’t wait to try out for the part of
Abigail, the lead. Ms. Norbert is a bit of a musical freak, like
me, and last year’s production had been a musical, also. I had
tried out for the leading role, thinking I at least had one
advantage since I’d been a member of the Drama Club since I’d
started at Meridian Valley, but I was beat out by a senior. I had
to settle for a secondary, which wasn’t too terribly awful. I had
to use a cool English accent and even had a solo in one of the
music numbers. My singing voice wasn’t too bad – though I’d never
make it to Broadway.
I tried discussing the tryouts with Lance at
lunch but he wasn’t very interested. His friends—I couldn’t think
of them as mine—surrounded us, and he was more intent on the
details of the next party. Annie and Cammy didn’t even sit with me
anymore since Kimberly and her group of girls snatched up every
available seat and hogged the conversation. It was irritating, to
say the least, but I really liked Lance. And once football season
ended, things would settle down.
The Saturday before Thanksgiving break, I
stumbled back to my room, reeking of alcohol, only to find Cammy,
Annie and Zach watching one of my concert DVDs. Annie glared, fury
burning in her eyes.
“
What?” I asked, swaying on
my feet.
“
I thought you weren’t
going to drink anymore?” she asked.
“
What’s the big deal?” I
asked. I was beginning to tire of explaining or defending myself
every weekend. “Maybe it’s time for Bella the Mouse to stop being
such a goody-goody.”
Zach stared at the television in obvious
discomfort, shoving fistfuls of popcorn in his mouth. Annie took a
step toward me and I instinctively stepped back.
“
You’re not yourself at all
anymore,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “You’re never
around, I never see you do homework, and you never talk to Jake
anymore.”
Jake. My heart fell. She was right; I
couldn’t remember the last time I’d spoken to him. He’d left
messages that I never returned—I was usually too ashamed. But, I
remembered he was supposed to come home with me and meet my family.
My heart twirled at the thought of seeing him again. I was leaving
Monday for home and I hadn’t finalized any plans with him.
Digging my phone out of my pocket, I hit his
number. It went straight to voice mail. I hung up, dejected.
“
He must be on stage.” I
dropped to my desk chair.
“
Controlled Environment
played last night. It was their last show until after
Thanksgiving,” Annie informed me.
My brows knitted together as I stared at her
with blurry eyes. “How do you know?”
“
I checked their website,”
she said. “I keep track of their tour.”
“
Maybe you should be Jake’s
friend,” I mumbled as I tried his number again. “You’re a much
better friend than I am.”
She gave me a dark look and perched on the
edge of her bed.
The phone rang in my ear and I was
astonished when he answered.
“
Jake?”
“
Nope, not Jake. This is
Nick. Who is this?”
My fuzzy brain couldn’t wrap around the
words properly. Who was Nick? And why was he on the phone? “Where
is Jake? And why are you answering his phone?”
He chuckled. “Chill out, woman. I was using
Jake’s phone. Hang on and I’ll get him for you.”
I nodded, not caring that he couldn’t see. A
few moments later, Jake’s greeting entered my ear. My heart rate
picked up a notch. “Who is this?”
“
Jake!” I cried. I hadn’t
realized how much I’d missed him. “It is you, right?”
He laughed. “It’s me, Iz. Where have you
been? I’ve been leaving messages.”
“
Ummm…” I stammered,
stalling for time. “I’ve been busy with class and Drama Club and
stuff.”
I spoke slowly, trying to hide my
intoxication. I didn’t think he’d be too impressed if he figured
out what I’d really been up to lately.
“
How’s the boyfriend? Is he
treating you right?”
“
Yes. It’s all good.
Listen, Jake,” I said, biting my lip. “Do you remember when you
said you’d come to my house next week?”
“
Yep. Meet the folks,
right?”
“
Only if you want to,” I
clarified. I didn’t want him to feel obligated—he’d already done so
much for me. I’d received the tickets for Seth last
week.
“
Sure, Iz. It’ll be cool.
How about Tuesday?”
“That’s fine. Call me when you get in town
and I’ll give you directions to my house.”
“Okay.” He paused and my nerve meter shot up
a few degrees. “Hey, is something going on?” His tone was soft and
laced with concern.
“Not at all,” I said, swallowing the lie
quickly. “I’m really tired. I’m about to go to bed, actually.”
“
We’ll talk Tuesday,” he
warned. “Good night, Iz.”
Shrugging at the three sets of wary eyes, I
dropped my phone on my bed.
“
I’m going to take a
shower.”
I scurried to the bathroom and stepped into
the shower, allowing the warm water to wash away my tears as soon
as they hit my face. I stood under the spray so long, Cammy beat on
the door, asking if I was okay. I finally turned off the taps and
wrapped a towel around my body, assuring her I was fine.