October Joy (Moments In Paradise 1) (8 page)

Andrew told her the news he had received from home.  Her first thought was Andrew would be catching a flight out first thing in the morning and she would never see him again, but she scolded herself for having selfish thoughts at a time like this.

“Are you leaving then?” she asked.

“No, I don’t think so.  If I knew the father better, I would, but I don’t.  James and Alan can handle it.”

“What about the mother?”

“She died last year.  I knew her better because she came to me for spiritual guidance during her last few months, but her husband didn’t want me coming around after the funeral.  Unless he asks for me, it’s better that I’m here.  Trust me.”

“Was that your daughter?”

“Yes, Gracie.  My oldest.”

“Is she married?”

“No, she moved back home after Annika died, and she’s been there ever since.”

“What does she do?”

“Teaches middle school math.”

“And who’s Tabby?”

“Tabitha.  My youngest.  She’s a senior in high school this year.”

Sarah wasn’t sure what else to say.  They had been interrupted at an awkward moment.  She never answered his question about enjoying God, and she wondered if he was still thinking about it or if he’d completely forgotten.

“You can go, Andrew,” she said, breaking the silence between them.  “I’m all right now.  We can talk more tomorrow.  I didn’t mean to fall apart on you like that.”

He appeared to seriously consider her words, and she knew she would be all right if he left.  She had always been an emotionally stable person.  Rapid mood-swings were a new thing for her, but she was on the upswing now, and knowing she would be seeing Andrew tomorrow would keep her there.

“I’m not ready to say good night to you, Sarah,” he said, leaning forward in his chair and reaching for her hand.  His touch was gentle and non-threatening.  “But being here with you probably isn’t a good idea for much longer.  Could we go for a walk?  One where you’re properly dressed for one, and we can be Andrew and Sarah, not Levi’s wife and that strange man she’s with?”

She smiled.  “I had a woman ask me this morning where my brother was today.”

“Your brother?”

She laughed.  “That’s what I said.”

“She saw us leaving together last night and thought I was your brother?”

“Yes.”

“What did you say?”

“You don’t know how badly I wanted to go along with her.”

They both laughed.  Sarah had started a new Bible study with some women at her church last month on the book of Genesis, and they’d had a specific lesson on how Abram and Sarai’s scheme to pose as brother and sister instead of husband and wife before Pharaoh hadn’t gone so well.  At the time she didn’t understand how Sarai could have lied like that, but now she did.

“What did you say?” Andrew asked again.

She smiled at him and knew her response had been the honest truth.  “I said you were a friend.”

He smiled.  “So how about that walk?”

“Okay.”

He released her hand and rose from the chair, putting it back into its place and telling her he would be waiting downstairs for her.  She thanked him and said not to forget his jacket he’d laid on the end of the bed after removing it from her shoulders.

He took the jacket and let himself out.  Sarah got out of bed and went to find something suitable to wear.  She had always dressed nice at these things, so she hadn’t brought a lot of casual clothes, but she had tucked her jeans in the bottom of her bag and had brought her tennis shoes in case she decided to walk on the treadmill.  When she made the reservations for this hotel she had seen they had an exercise room, and she thought she might keep her routine of walking on the treadmill every morning before breakfast.

She hadn’t been that ambitious this morning, just like many mornings during the last three months, but she could have taken a taxi here after lunch and maybe swam in the pool too.  “That’s what I should have done instead of trying to navigate my way around Des Moines,” she said out loud to herself as she slipped out of her dress and reached for the pants.

Levi’s first church assignment had only been thirty minutes from here, but with grocery and department stores nearby, she’d never had a reason to come into the capital city, and whenever she did, she was with Levi and he always drove.  Even with living in Minneapolis for the last seven years, she sometimes got turned around when she needed to go to an unfamiliar part of the city and find a place she’d never been to before.

She chose a pink top to go with the jeans and grabbed her white cardigan sweater, hoping it would be warm enough for this October evening in Iowa.  It had been a warm day, and she hadn’t gone over to the church until almost noon, so she hadn’t thought to take a sweater for later.  She had remembered her Bible this time, but not that, and she suddenly realized she had left her Bible at the church in the main auditorium where they had attended the praise and worship hour after lunch.

She and Linda left them on their seats before she went on her walk because there wasn’t anything else going on in the main room until this evening where they both planned to attend the meeting together.  “They’re going to wonder what happened to me,” she said, deciding she would point that out to Andrew and see what his solution would be.  “Oh, God, what would have I done if he hadn’t been here?  I would be such a wreck right now!”

Going to the mirror, she revised her statement.  “Okay, a complete wreck instead of a minor one.”  She washed her face with a cool rag to lessen the puffiness around her eyes, reapplied some makeup, and brushed her hair into place.  At least it was in a good phase right now and cooperated easily.

Before she left the room she thought carefully about what she might be missing.  She knew she was properly dressed, and she had her card-key in her back pocket rather than bothering with her purse.  She didn’t have any money after using the last of her cash on taxi-fare this morning and a cappuccino this afternoon.  She didn’t expect Andrew to take her anywhere where she would need some, but if he did, he would want to pay.  He was a gentleman through and through, just like Levi.  She had known that before tonight, but tonight had really proved it.

She thought of something she needed before she opened the door, and she stopped to say a quick prayer, which didn’t turn out to be so quick.  She cried twice before it was over, asking God to bless her time with Andrew--a lot, and wondering if she should be praying for such a thing.  Even if Andrew was just a friend, was it right for her to be spending time with a man she had met yesterday?  Or was this another poor judgment choice she would be making today?

It’s okay, Sarah.  Andrew is right about Me bringing him here for you.  I know what you need, and I’m providing it like I told you I would the night I brought Levi Home.  Trust Me in this, Sarah.  And enjoy Me by enjoying your life.  Yours isn’t over yet, and I don’t expect you to live like it is.  I have many more plans for you and many more years to show them to you.  Live, Sarah.  Live!

She left the room and headed downstairs, taking the glass elevator and wondering what Andrew thought of her staying in a place like this.  Oh well, at least it was far enough away from the church to avoid anyone seeing them together.  That woman’s assumption about Andrew being her brother made her very aware others were watching her and had their own opinions about how Levi’s widow should be conducting herself in public.

***

Andrew didn’t know what was going on with him, but when he saw Sarah step across the lobby to meet him, he took notice of her form and shape like he had never done with any woman besides Annika.  Sarah had been so properly and elegantly dressed both last night and tonight at dinner, her classiness had stood out to him more so than her figure, but in a pair of jeans...

Whoa, Andrew.  Slow down.  You might not be in her room anymore, but she’s still vulnerable, and she’s only been a widow for three months.  You wouldn’t have been ready this soon after Annika.  Don’t force her to be.

She smiled at him and seemed embarrassed, but not for the reason he was expecting.  “This place is too fancy,” she said.  “I can’t believe I’m staying here.”

He glanced at the open area restaurant in the center of the atrium with lots of indoor plants and trees and a cascading waterfall.  “It looks like a good spot for dinner tomorrow night,” he said.  “We won’t be at George and Linda’s table, so they won’t be wondering where we disappeared to.”

She laughed.  “And what about tonight?  I left my Bible in the auditorium and told them I was just going to use the ladies’ room when I left the table.  They’ll think I was kidnapped for sure!”

“I called George,” he said.

“You did?  Just now?”

“Yes.”

“What did you tell him?”

“That you needed someone to talk to, so I’d taken you for a walk and then back to your hotel instead of going to the meeting.  They suspected you might be with me since I hadn’t returned either, and they weren’t worried about you yet, but he thanked me for calling.”

“Did he ask where you are now?” she asked as they stepped outside.

“No, and I didn’t say.”

She was silent for a moment, and he stopped her before they went any further.  “Are you all right with this, Sarah?  I can say good-night now and see you tomorrow if you’d rather.”

“I’m fine,” she said.  “I need this, Andrew.  There’s no one back home I can be like this with, and here--everyone’s been wonderful, but they all knew Levi.  I need someone who just sees me, you know?”

“You mean someone who sat at your table last night and had to keep telling himself not to be staring at another man’s wife because I had no idea you were a widow?”

“How did you find out?” she asked.

“I asked George.”

“And how did you feel when you knew?”

“I felt your pain, Sarah.  And I wanted to ease it so much, but I had no idea how.”

“Well, you are,” she said, giving him a comfortable smile.  “You’re doing what no one else has been able to do for me.”

He wanted to kiss her and hold her close to him, but he knew it was too soon for that. 
Right, God?

Right, Andrew.

Okay, just checking.

He took her arm and linked it with his and began walking beside her away from the hotel and toward a long stretch of small restaurants and shops.  It wasn’t that late, and everything was still open, and he planned to buy her a cup of coffee at some point and sit and listen as long as she needed that, but for now he walked with her, and he asked her some questions that for most part she answered freely.

He hadn’t forgotten about asking her earlier if she enjoyed God or not, and he wanted to get back to that eventually, but for now he dove into the more surface issues of her activities and financial situation and relationships back home.  She’d had a happy life with Levi, and he was convinced she could still have one without him, but from experience he knew it was going to take some time to figure out how to do that.

They walked until they were headed back toward the hotel and decided to step into a café, have some dessert and coffee, and sit at a corner table by the window.  It reminded him of when he and Annika had been in their first year of college and they often stayed late at the diner off campus.  On one of those nights he suggested they should get married the following summer so he wouldn’t have to keep her out to have as much time with her as he wanted.  It hadn’t taken much convincing to get her to say yes when he officially proposed a month later on Christmas Eve.

“I guess that’s our cue,” he said when one of the employees went to the front door and locked it from the inside and then began putting the chairs on the tables so he could sweep the floor.

“I guess so,” Sarah said, seeming to just now realize how late it was.  “This was nice, Andrew.  Thank you.”

They left the table and stepped outside.  Andrew had already decided that once they were back at the hotel he wasn’t going to go in, not even to walk her up to her room.  He was a pastor and a respectable guy who had never cheated on Annika, and he hadn’t looked at another woman with any kind of desire since losing his wife either, but he was a man who was looking at another woman now: a very beautiful and desirable woman.  He had to admit that to himself.  What he had done earlier, he’d done out of necessity and with the highest of noble intentions, but doing the same now would be taking advantage of Sarah, and he knew it.

“Will you spend the day with me tomorrow, or are you all talked out?” he asked, stopping outside the front door of the hotel and dropping her arm but turning to face her fully.

“I’d love to spend the day with you,” she said.  “What did you have in mind?”

“A drive in the country.  A picnic lunch.  Talking about God and how you can go on from here.”

“That sounds nice.”

“Dinner back here with you, and then maybe we’ll actually make it to a meeting tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry you had to miss tonight on account of me.”

“I’m not.  This is why I’m here, Sarah.  For you.”

She hadn’t cried since leaving the hotel, except for an occasional teary-eyed moment when she talked about something especially personal, and she got that way again, allowing a few tears to spill onto her cheeks.  He reached up and brushed them away with his thumb and held her cheek gently in his palm.

“I like spending time with you, Sarah.  And not just as a pastor counseling a grieving woman.  But as a man.”

She looked at him like she was petrified of him kissing her and longing for it at the same time.  But he didn’t want any fear in her eyes when he kissed her for the first time, so he kissed her on the forehead and pulled her close to him.

“Is that okay, or does that scare you?” he asked.

“Both.”

“Me too, Sarah.  And I’m in no hurry.  I just wanted you to know that.”

Chapter Eight

It was nearly midnight by the time James left the house.  Grace hadn’t gotten him to talk much about losing one of his youth kids or about his own tragic circumstances, but she knew it was probably good he’d had someone to be with rather than going home alone.  They watched a movie together, and she had a nice evening.