No Direction Home (Sweet Home Colorado) (3 page)

Outside, the snow continued to fall with the wind whistling around the back of the house
. Grace glanced out the window toward the porch light. “It’s really coming down. I hope it doesn’t turn into a blizzard.”       

“
No worries, the big storm missed us. Now we’re only going to get a few inches. It’s not going to amount to much.”  Nana continued to pet Ollie, pleasing the kitty immensely.

That reminded her...
. “Nana, what are your plans for tomorrow? I need to go into town and do a few things. Would you like to go with me?”  The hiss and pop of the wood fire relaxed Grace while she sat and watched the flames.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I can't
. I volunteer at the hospital two days a week and tomorrow I work in the gift shop from ten to six. Maybe I can switch with someone.”

“No, don’t worry about it
. I’m sure Cedar Falls hasn’t changed that much.”  She stretched and yawned, thinking Nana must be okay if she worked at the hospital on a regular basis.

“No, it’s about the same
. We did get a new Safeway store and a strip mall over by the bank.”

“Good
. I have to do some shopping and get Colorado tags for my car.”  Grace ran a hand through her hair, holding out a long strand, looking at the splint ends. “And I need a haircut.” 

“Cindy's still on Main Street next to the post office
. She seems to be doing well. Every time I go to get my hair done, the place is packed with customers.”  Nana put Ollie on the floor and walked over to the fireplace. “She always asks about you.”  Nana picked up the wrought iron poker. “Did you know she and her husband split up last year? He was running around on her with some woman in Denver.”  Flustered, Nana glanced away. “Oh, I’m sorry, honey. I shouldn’t have said that.”

Grace took a deep breath
. It was ironic her and Cindy’s marriages had suffered the same fate—betrayal. “It’s okay. I’m over it.”  She picked lint off the flowered sofa pillow she held against her chest. "After I became ill, I couldn’t be a real wife to Lee. And he couldn’t handle it." 

Shadows of past hurts marched through her mind like a funeral procession...back to years ago
. At the height of her pain and suffering, she had caught him in the swimming pool with a naked woman. Worse, he hadn’t even cared—he just laughed and returned to the woman’s arms, leaving Grace broken and crushed both physically and emotionally. It was a hard lesson, but well learned. The marriage was over. The next day she let him move her into a nursing home, tossing her aside like yesterday’s stale donuts.

Nana poked the log in the fireplace with a vengeance, bringing Grace back to the present
. “A real wife? That’s hogwash. The man was no good. You were going through a tough time. Instead of taking up with another woman at the first sign of trouble, he should’ve been there for you, stood by you.” 

Grace watched bright orange sparks fly up the chimney as Nana pushed the log around the grate
. She suppressed hurt feelings under the appearance of indifference and chose her words carefully. “My life has changed. I’ve had to accept things as they are, not as I want them to be. When someone is in great pain like I was, you don’t feel like making love. And let’s face it, that’s the backbone of any marriage.”  She hesitated. This was hard to talk about. “He didn’t want to wait for me to get better.”

“Sweetheart, there’s a lot more to a relationship than sex.
”  Nana poked the log angrily. “I’m going to tell you something about Lee. I should’ve told you years ago.”  She pushed her small round wire-rimmed glasses up on the bridge of her nose. “When you were living in Denver and engaged Papa saw Lee with another woman. He thought it was some kind of business dinner or he would’ve told you and spared you this heartache.”  She frowned and hit the log again. “You don't need him. There will be someone else, someone better for you.”

Grace stopped playing with her hair
. This conversation was inevitable. She might as well get it over with. “I know about his affair with the woman in Denver. It came out when we separated. Since she is an attorney, too, they have a lot in common.”  She sighed deeply. “Actually, she lives in LA now and they’re together.”  The witch had been the woman in her swimming pool.

Nana started toward the open kitchen
. “Well, you're better off without him. And this calls for something stronger than tea. Would you like a glass of White Zinfandel?”  She picked up two long-stemmed wine glasses and a chilled bottle and headed back to Grace.

“Sounds good to me.
”  Grace sat up and took the wine glass. “I’ve worked it out in my mind. I wish them well. I want Lee to be happy.”  She tried to push down the fact it still hurt. “In his own way, he was good to me. He was fair with the divorce.”              

“Of course he was fair
. Humph...he had no choice. You caught him in the act.”  Nana filled their glasses.

The wine was cool against Grace’s throat
. She didn’t want to talk about Lee anymore. “I want to put this behind me and get on with what’s left of my life.”  She sighed. “I need you to understand that I have to protect myself. Stress of any kind causes me to physically hurt more.”

“Honey, I had no idea
. I don’t want you to hurt. What can I do?” 

“Nothing
. It’s all up to me. I have to let the emotional baggage with Lee go. Then I can move on to better times. It’s too painful to remember.”  She ran a hand through her hair. “In my own defense, I must wish him well. Now, do you understand?”

“Yes, I think I do
. And you’re right, he isn’t worth hurting over.”  Nana sipped the wine. “I’m proud of you for the way you’ve handled what's happened to you. But, like I said, one day a good man will come into your life. He won’t care about your condition. He’ll love you for being you.”

Grace frowned and shook her head
. “I’ve given up on the idea of another man. I had a lot of time to think while I was in the rehab center. It’s just me. No one else. And that’s how it has to be.”  She set the glass on the coffee table. “I wouldn’t want to burden anyone with my physical problems. I still might end up in a wheelchair. I couldn’t put that responsibility on someone else.”  Grace focused blindly on the yellow-orange flames dancing high in the fireplace. A life alone. As much as she knew that was her future, she couldn’t escape the emptiness inside.

“Honey, you can’t think that way
. They said you'd never walk again. Now look at you. You've come so far. You’re a success story, an inspiration to other people who have this disease. You have to stay positive.”    

“It’s okay
. I am positive. I’m being realistic about my life. I’m thirty-six and have to face facts. I can’t work as a make-up artist anymore. My career is over.”  She sighed. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, but marriage is the last thing on my mind. I know I can’t be a normal wife—a man doesn’t want to tie himself to an invalid.”  She sighed.

“Anyway, I can live my life without a man and I’ll find something else to do.
”  Grace had to say these things to convince herself. It wasn’t that she didn’t want someone in her life. It was that physically she wasn’t good enough to keep them happy. Plus she was considered one hundred percent disabled—that wasn’t much to offer anyone.

Nana sat on the sofa beside her and held her hands
. Moisture shimmered in her warm brown eyes when she squeezed Grace’s fingers. “You know this will always be your home. You’ll never have to worry about a place to live.”  

She gazed deep into Nana’s eyes and saw the unconditional love shining back
. She couldn’t stay upset with her. “I know. Thank you...I...I love you.”  She lay down on the sofa, resting her head in Nana’s lap like she had as a child.

Nana stroked a hand through Grace’s hair
. “You’re bone tired and heart sick. You haven’t had time to adjust to what's happened to you.”  She continued caressing her hair. “Rest, child. You’ll find yourself.” 

Grace knew Nana would help her make things right
. She snuggled against Nana. For the first time in ages, she felt safe and loved. She finally relaxed and felt on the verge of falling asleep.

“Sleep, baby, you’re plumb worn out physically and emotionally.
”  Nana sighed. “Love heals. One day soon, a good man will come into your life and he’ll help you put all this behind you.” 

As
Grace drifted off to sleep she thought she heard Nana murmur, “And I know just the man.”    

C
hapter Two

A child’s laughter tugged Grace from a deep sleep
.
Must be dreaming
. She rolled over and ploughed through the cobwebs in her brain. Gradually, she lifted an eyelid and squinted against the harsh morning light. Bright sun came through the lace curtains, creating squiggly designs across the bed. With a deep sigh, she pushed out from under the comforter’s warmth and the residue of last night’s pain pill. Innocent giggles came from the front of the house. She hadn’t imagined it. There was a child outside her bedroom window.

With stiff sore muscles Grace slowly tip-toed across the cold oak floor
to look out the window. Her aching body proved she hadn’t taken enough breaks on the long drive yesterday. When would she learn?

Peeking around the edge of the curtain, she could see Seth and a little blond girl
.
Damn, he still looks good
. The child wore a red coat with mittens and ear muffs to match, and was helping him roll a ball of snow around the yard. They were building a snowman. Where had she come from?  

Through the window voices traveled clearly on the crisp morning air
. The little girl appeared to be about six or seven and was having a blast. Seth lifted the head of the snowman and put it on top of the other two huge balls of snow while the child stood back and admired their handiwork. “Daddy, he’s the best we’ve ever made.” 

Grace stepped away from the window pressing a hand over her mouth and bit down on her lip
. Damn, like some young schoolgirl, she’d been drooling over a married man—with a daughter. Grace should know better. What was happening to her? After Lee, she hadn’t wanted anything to do with any man, and here she was with that giddy feeling in the pit of her stomach every time she saw her grandmother’s foreman. It was official—she had truly lost her mind.

Their conversation carried up to her
. “Yes, he’s special,” Seth said in his deep voice. “Come on, Pumpkin, let’s go find him a hat.” 

Grace peeked once more to see
them holding hands and walking toward the bunkhouse out of view. A flash of loneliness stabbed at her. Yes, that’s why she felt this unreasonable attraction to Seth. She was lonely. But Seth was another woman’s husband.

Nana was full of secrets these days
? Feeling betrayed once again an inner torment gnawed at her. Where was his wife? Did his whole family live in the house with Nana? If so, she’d move out. Seeing the family that was missing in her life on a daily basis would be too much. She shook her head.
Get it together. Find Nana and get some answers.

Old arguments bubbled in her thoughts
. She had always wanted children, but Lee had said no, insisting there wasn’t time while establishing their careers. Children were messy and didn’t fit into their Hollywood lifestyle. Being an attorney to the stars, he was always on call and needed his rest. He’d said they didn’t have time for screaming babies in the middle of the night.

So there had been no children despite her pleas, but this was no time for dwelling in the past
. The fragrant smell of coffee and frying bacon wafted up from the kitchen, triggering a loud rumble from her stomach. She showered, pulled on jeans and a sweater and walked slowly down the stairs. She struggled to pull her mixed emotions together before she confronted Nana.    

A steaming pot of coffee sat on the smooth granite counter top
. Pouring herself a cup, Grace gazed out the window toward the back yard. Where had Nana gone? Her car was still in the driveway.

The sight of snow clinging to the rooftop of the storage shed reminded her of whipped cream on strawberry shortcake
. She’d missed the snow. And there was nothing quite like looking at the mountains on a crisp Colorado morning after a snow storm. Blue skies, bright sunshine and snow capped-mountain peaks dotted the distant horizon. The view lifted her spirits, reminding her of the ski trips she and Cindy used to go on every winter. Fun times. She was excited about seeing her friend today.

Nana came into the open kitchen carrying a long red scarf, pulling Grace back to the present
. “Well, good morning. How did you sleep?”  She laid the scarf on the counter while she bustled around the kitchen.

“Better than I have in ages.
”  Grace carried her coffee to the table, taking a moment to collect her thoughts.

“Are you hungry
? I made extra bacon. It won’t take me a minute to fix you breakfast.”  Nana retrieved eggs from the refrigerator and bent over the stove to lift a skillet from the oven.

“You don't have to cook for me
. I can do it."  Normally, Grace didn’t eat breakfast, but the smell of the coffee and bacon had her stomach growling in anticipation. It must be the mountain air.  

“Don't worry about it
. There will be plenty for you to do later. Just sit there and enjoy. You need to eat to build your strength back.”  Nana cracked two eggs into the pan, glancing out the window. “How cute. Did you see Seth and Jamie playing in the snow?”

Grace let the eating remark drop, knowing she needed to lose weight, and focused on getting her questions answered
. “Yes, I heard them.”  She tamped down an unwanted mixture of anger and betrayal.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a family living in the house with you?
”  She ran her finger around the rim of the coffee mug, pretending the answer didn’t matter. Her throat tightened.  

“I wanted you home and I knew you wouldn't come home if you thought others were staying here
. And Jamie reminds me a lot of you when you were little.”  Grace noticed Nana’s hand shook when she flipped the eggs and the distant tremor in her voice when she added, “she’s the best-natured little thing.”

“Is she the reason they’re living here in the house?
”  Nana had always taken in strays of all kinds, from wounded animals to fostering children after Grace had married. She tried to hide her inner misery from Nana’s probing stare.

Nana set a plate of bacon and eggs in front of her.

“Thanks. It looks good.”  She cut up her breakfast, pushing the fork around the plate, waiting to hear what her grandmother had to say.

Nana popped a couple of slices of bread into the toaster and turned to look out the window at Seth and Jamie
. “Seth is a single father. His wife left them when Jamie was only a baby.”  She handed Grace the toast before seating herself. “So, yes, she’s part of the reason they’re living here.”

Seth was single
. Grace’s heart skipped a beat. “So he’s raising the child alone?”  Not knowing any single fathers, she couldn’t help but be impressed. “That has to be hard.”

“Yes, and he’s doing a remarkable job
. Seth always puts Jamie’s needs first. Before they moved in here, he’d work all day sometimes late at night, then have to drive to an apartment they had in town.”  Nana sighed. “It’s much easier on them living here and they keep me company. We all win this way.”  A genuine warmth filled Nana's eyes when she spoke about the child. “I love that little girl.”

There it was, plain as day
. It was all about the child. Grace rubbed a hand on the napkin and realized Nana was lonely, too. She could relate on so many levels. Why hadn’t she thought about it before now? Guilt pressed against her heart at the idea of Nana being all by herself. Lately, Grace had been so totally caught up with what she was going through that she hadn’t considered anyone else. Among her other emotions was a deep sense of shame for being so self-centered, thinking only of her own needs, not considering what Nana might want or need. Some granddaughter she turned out to be.  

“I guess I didn’t realize how much you needed someone here with you.
”  She glanced under the table at the cat that was curled up at Nana’s feet. “No offense, Ollie.”  She smiled and refocused on Nana. “I’m sorry I gave you such a hard time last night. What you do with your ranch is none of my business.”

“Oh, yes, it is.
”  Nana laughed. “This is your home, too. But there’s plenty of room for all of us.”

“I’m sure you’re right.
”  Grace pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and wished she'd been able to help Nana more during the last few years.”  I’d forgotten what it’s like out here through the winter.”  She stared out the window at the blue sky, wanting to change the subject. “What happened to that snowstorm?”

“Honey, you know how it is here
. The weather changes every ten minutes.”  She glanced out the window. “It’s going to be a nice day. Finish eating while I get this scarf out to the snowman. I promised Jamie I’d dig it out of the attic for her.”  Her thin fingers tensed as she wrapped the scarf around her hand. “I know you’re going to like them.”

Grace sat dumbfounded as Nana scooted out the door in a flash of red
. The child. That explained why Nana would let a stranger move into her home. Her grandmother had adopted another stray. She was the most tender-hearted person when it came to children and pets.       

A few minutes later, laughter came from the back door
. Grace turned to see Nana helping the little girl take off her coat and snow boots.

“Nana, don’t you think it’s just the best snowman ever?
”

“He is something
. I especially like the cowboy hat with the red scarf and his big black button eyes. They add character.”  Nana smiled down at her. “Jamie, I’d like you to meet my granddaughter, Grace.”

"Hello, Jamie, I'm pleased to meet you."  Grace said the words tentatively, then after looking into the child’s eyes, she realized it was true
. Grace returned a welcoming grin to the small face with the striking blue eyes just like her father's.

Jamie stared at Grace
. “You look like the pictures Nana showed me.”  Her brows furrowed and she leaned against Nana. “Are you really going to stay with us?” 

“Yes, I’m staying.
” 

Jamie’s frown turned to a big grin
. She rushed over to sit beside Grace at the kitchen table. Joy glowed in the child’s eyes as she gazed at Grace. “My room is right next to yours. Can we be friends? Will you play with me? Can we—”

“Slow down, Jamie.
”  Seth’s hearty voice sounded from the back entrance, stopping the child in mid-sentence. “Give the lady a chance to catch her breath.”  He hung his coat and hat on the wrought iron rack and crossed the room.

“Ma’am.
”  He nodded in greeting and let out a long audible sigh, then smiled at Jamie. “Please excuse her. She isn’t shy and sometimes she gets excited.”  He paused and studied Grace’s face.

For a long moment, their eyes locked and she stared back at him
. She floundered before the brilliance of his gaze, her pulse beating in overtime.
He definitely isn't bald
. She’d softened toward him when she realized he was raising his daughter by himself. But she had to safeguard her emotions. She looked away. She couldn’t imagine Lee raising a child, alone, not in a million years.

“Dad, she’s staying in the room next to me.
”  Jamie tugged at her father’s hand to regain his attention. “Won’t that be cool?”

Seth’s smile broadened when he sat down and swung his daughter onto his lap
. “Yes, we’re lucky to live with such a nice family.”  Gathering her into his arms, he snuggled her close.

He was Jamie’s dad and possibly a crook, Grace reminded herself
. She fought her physical attraction to the man and glanced at Jamie to break the spell. “Jamie, of course we can be friends.”

“Yippee, we can have a tea party.
”  Jamie bounced on her father’s knee and returned a smile.

“You’re going to have to postpone the tea party until after school.
”  Seth gave her a swift hug against his chest and kissed the top of her head. “It’s time to get your backpack. The school bus will be here any minute.” 

Jamie jumped off his lap and ran into the living room.

“Wait, I think it’s in the den,” Nana hurried after her. "I’ll help you find it.” 

Seth glanced back at Grace and grinned
. “When Jamie leaves the room, it’s like the passing of a tornado.”  The warmth in his smile echoed in his voice.

“I think she’s wonderful.
”  Grace watched Nana help Jamie put the coat and boots back on before they headed out the side door.

“Bye, Dad,
” Jamie shouted over her shoulder.

“Bye, honey.
”  He turned his attention back to Grace. “I like to think so, but there are times when she wears me out.”  He poured himself a cup of coffee. “The bus should be here in a few minutes. They had a two hour delay this morning because of the snow.”  He sipped his coffee and glanced at the back door. “Nana likes to watch her catch the bus. It’s a kind of a ritual they share.” 

“She used to do that when I was in school.
”  Grace smiled ruefully when he sat down, remembering how she had spent her time when school was delayed. She and Cindy would talk on the phone until the last minute before the bus came, praying the late start would turn into a whole day off. Those were the days. She sighed. She could hardly wait to see Cindy.