No Direction Home (Sweet Home Colorado) (18 page)

Jamie came around the table and crawled onto Grace’s lap
. Grace wrapped her arms around her, needing the child’s gentle affection. “Little girl, you’d better eat your breakfast.”  She kissed the top of her head.

Seth continued scrambling eggs at the stove
. “Cindy is coming out today to stay with the kids so we can go back to the hospital. She said she’d stay a few days or long as you need her and thought she could help out most by being here with the kids.”

“Good
. Joey needs to keep up with his studies and therapy.” 

Joey frowned
. “You mean I don’t get a break?” 

“Sorry, kiddo, you’ve been hanging in there real well
. You have to stay focused so you can move up in school next year.”  She kissed the top of Jamie’s head again and reached across the table and patted his hand. “Nana would have a fit if we let you slide.”  

“Yeah, you’re right
about that.”  He grinned at Grace. “I’ll do it for Nana.”

“That’s a good boy.
”  He was a great kid. She knew she could depend on him to keep his word. At least that’s one thing she wouldn’t have to worry about while she camped out at the hospital.

Jamie squirmed in her lap
. “Dad told us you got married.”  A wistful smile spread across her cherub face. “Can I call you, Mom?” 

Grace held her tight, unable to swallow the huge lump in her throat as mixed emotions tore at her heart
. “Ye...yes, of course you can.”  She loved Jamie and would love to have her as a daughter. Too bad she couldn’t trust her father.

Chapter Seventeen

“My big news is that I’m letting Jamie call me Mom.
”  Grace sat at the kitchen table with Cindy having coffee while Seth was going over the work for the day with Travis in another room.

"She
wants to call you Mom?"  Cindy asked in disbelief. "That is so sweet."

“Yes, it
’s great but it about broke my heart. I couldn’t say no, but how can I lead that little girl on with this fiasco of a marriage?”  Grace leaned back in her chair, twisting a strand of hair with nervous energy. “This is harder than I thought it would be.” 

“Like I told you
, you think it's a farce, but it’s not going to stay that way. Maybe you guys rushed things a little, but I see the way he looks at you. He cares.”

“I don't know anymore
. It’s getting complicated.”  She set her cup down. “The children are involved and I don’t want to hurt them or myself. You know how I feel about the kids.”

“Hang in there
. It’ll work out before you know it."  A look of concern worked its way across Cindy's face. "Is there anything I can do for you while you’re at the hospital? Joey’s studies and therapy won’t take long. He’s such a good boy.”  Cindy sipped her drink thoughtfully. “He makes me wish I had kids of my own.”

“Yes, he’s special
. I want to keep him here with us—adopt him as my own, if they’ll let me.”

“Why Grace, that’s wonderful
. You’ll make a great mother.”  She glanced toward the study where Seth and Travis stood talking. “You know, this marriage could help you get custody of Joey. In your situation, there’re a lot of advantages to being married.”

“Maybe...I hadn’t thought of it like that.
”  The idea of having Joey as her son turned over in her mind, taking root. All she wanted out of life was to have a family and write books. If, to make her dreams come true, all she had to do was play a part with Seth...well then, she could do it. It would be worth it to have the children. “It looks like I have something to gain from this marriage.”  

“You know, I just thought of something
. You and Seth need to have your own bedroom. There’s so many, which one do you want?”  Cindy grinned at her with an impish look on her face. “I can move your things today.”

“Oh Lord, I hadn’t thought of that.
”  Grace cringed. “Don’t you think it would be okay to keep separate bedrooms?”

“Not on your life...especially if you want to adopt Joey. It has to be done immediately, in case a nosy social worker comes snooping and in this town you know they will.”

“But I don’t want to stay in the same room with him
. I don’t trust him or myself.”

“You don’t have a choice
. You’ll have to give the social worker a tour of the house. Newlyweds don’t sleep in separate bedrooms. It’s necessary to adopt Joey.”

Grace grimaced
. “Oh, all right. Do it. Move us into the master bedroom overlooking the valley. Nana stayed there until her legs started giving her trouble and she decided to move downstairs.”

“Great
. It’ll be done by the time you get home. Travis can help move Seth’s things, too. I’m sure he won’t mind.”  She glanced at Grace with a mischievous look on her face. “This is just what you need to make this marriage work.”

“These sleeping arrangements are only for appearance sake,
” Grace said in an aggravated tone. “He can sleep on the floor for all I care. He’s not sleeping with me.”   

“We’ll see.
”  Cindy was laughing when the men came back into the room.

Seth glanced at Grace
. “We’re through here, if you’re ready to go.” 

What was he thinking
? Had he married her just to get half of the ranch? Would he help her adopt Joey? Unanswered questions swirled through her troubled mind. “Yes, I’m ready. Cindy knows what needs to be done.”  Grace glanced back at Cindy. “If you need anything, I’m sure Travis can help you.”  Together, Grace and Seth walked out the door into the cool morning sun. A mischievous twinkle had appeared in Cindy's eyes which made Grace think she was up to something, but no matter, she had to get back to Nana.

***

Seth stared out the window, wondering how Grace was really holding up. She had barely said two words to him this morning.

“Thank you for putting my grandmother first,
” Grace said grudgingly while she gripped the steering wheel of her BMW and drove into town.

“It’s okay
. Thanks for going along with my plan. It was the only thing I could think of at the time. She’s such a kind lady. You know I’d do anything for her.”

“I have something I want to talk to you about.
”

“Sure, anything
,” he braced himself expecting the worst. They were being so polite to each other he could hardly stand it. Somehow he needed to shake things up, get her to loosen up and realize she could have a normal life.

“I want to adopt Joey
. He needs stability in his young life and I want to give it to him. Since we’re married, I want to start the proceedings immediately.”  Not looking at him, she kept her attention on the road.

Good idea, t
hat was fine with him. He wasn’t surprised. He’d been thinking along the same lines himself. The more intertwined they became as a family, the harder it would be for her to leave him. “Are you sure about this? He’s not like a purse you can take back to the store.”  He didn’t want to be mean, but he wanted to get a reaction out of her besides this polite chitchat.

“What kind of idiot do you take me for?
” her voice rose in anger. She gave him a frosty look that could freeze water. “I know that.” 

Her harsh voice grated on his nerves when he realized he’d struck a nerve
. “Just checking. What happened to 'I’m going to be in a wheelchair and I can’t have a family?”  She needed to be shaken up—to realize she could have it all—with him and the kids. He was deliberately egging her on, deliberately being cruel to pull her out of herself.

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve come a long way since then
. Besides, I can do anything I want. This marriage is for appearance sake only. If I can use it to get Joey, I will.”

“Go for it
. He’s a good kid and needs a permanent home.”  He glanced at the stubborn look on her face, glad to see she was going to fight back. After the way he had acted, it would take some time to get in her good graces, but he’d be damned if he’d let her close herself in again. Why, she must think he married her for the damned ranch. Silly woman.

“Two can play at your game, Mr. Taylor.
”

    
“Game? I’m not playing a game. I married you to save your grandmother’s life...that’s all.”

She glared at him when she pulled into the hospital parking lot
. “We need to come to some agreement about how we’re going to proceed in public.”

“I’ll proceed as I damn well please
. There will be nothing

on my part to make Nana or anyone else suspect anything’s amiss.

If anyone screws up, it’ll be you.”

“No way. Watch your back Taylor. I’ll be watching your

every move,” she said softly, her eyes narrowing.

“Why, Mrs. Taylor, is that a threat?”  He loved seeing her

this way. She was even more beautiful when she was angry.

“Take it anyway you want,” she said pulling to a stop. In a huff, she rushed out of the car and slammed the door.

***

“Good morning,” the nurse said as they walked up to the intensive care station.

“We’re here to see Mrs. Sanderson
. We’re her family,” Grace said. It dawned on her that they were her only family and Nana loved Seth. She’d have to keep her wits about her to make this charade of a marriage work. “How’s she doing?”

“I checked her vitals a few minutes ago
. She’s doing much better. She’s awake and alert. However, I have to caution you. She still needs her rest and can’t be upset, no stress of any kind.”  The nurse glanced at her watch. “You can go in together and stay only fifteen minutes per hour. Doctor’s orders.”

“Yes, ma’am
. We’ll do that.”  Seth said. He pushed the door open for Grace and wrapped his arm around her shoulder when they walked into the room.

“Good morning.
”  Grace smiled at her grandmother.

“Hi, S
weetheart. Hi, Seth.”

Seth held Grace’s hand in his large one, tugging her against his side when they moved closer to Nana
. “We’ve sure been concerned about you,” Grace said as she bent down and kissed Nana's cheek.

“No need to worry
. I’ve lived a full life and made my peace with the Lord. If it’s my time...it’s okay.”

Seth squeezed Grace’s fingers while she choked back a sob
. “Ma’am, I won’t listen to you talk that way. You have a lot of good times ahead of you and we and your grandchildren need you,” he spoke up.

“Grandchildren?
”  Her eyes became brighter.

“Yes, your grandchildren.
”  Seth leaned toward Nana. “With the marriage, Jamie is your granddaughter and Grace and I have decided to adopt Joey.”  

“What wonderful news
. Old fool that I am, how could I have forgotten the children?"  She sighed and glanced at Grace. "I’m happy for you. I know how you’ve always wanted children.”

Grace held her hand
. “You’re not an old fool. You’re the best grandmother a child could ever have.”

“I would love to be there for them, but I don’t know if it's God’s plan.
”  She gripped the sheet with her free hand.

Seth held her other hand
. “Grace is right. We need you. Now, you have to stop thinking that way. From this minute on, you’re going to concentrate on getting better. I have something for you.”  He let go of her hand and reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out some papers. “These are from the kids. When you start feeling down, take a look at them.”

Nana unfolded the first piece of paper from Jamie and read the words written above a colorful crayon drawing of a clown carrying a bouquet of red balloons
.
Hurry home. I miss you. I love you. Jamie

“
Oh, the little angel. She stayed inside the lines and everything.”  A tear glistened in the corner of Nana’s eye.

“This one is from Joey,
” Seth said and he handed it to her.

Nana,

I miss you. The house is empty without you. Hurry home so you can help me with my homework. I’m going to do it all so I won’t be behind when you get home. Love, Joey.

“This is too much
. They do miss me. The note from the boy and Jamie’s drawing touches me deeply.”  Tears slipped from the corners of her eyes. “Those children are the best.”   

“Get some rest, now.
”  Seth patted her hand and kissed her on the cheek. “There’s nothing for you to worry about. We have everything taken care of at the ranch and the kids are fine. I want you to concentrate on getting well.”

Grace kissed her on the cheek
. “Seth is right. Just

get well and think about the good times we’re going to have with

the kids. We love you.”

“Come on, Grace
. We have to leave now.”  He glanced at Nana. “We’ll be right outside if you need anything.”

“I’m glad you’re here.
”  Nana smiled at them. "I can see I made the right decision. You're in good hands. Seth will take care of you. You'll be good for each other, no matter what happens to me.”  Drained, she lay back against the pillows and closed her eyes.

***

Grace gazed out the car window while Seth silently drove home
. The long day at the hospital had taken its toll. Fragmented thoughts drifted through her mind. What if...Seth cared about her? It was obvious how much he cared about Nana. What if...things were different between them? If she let her guard down it would be easy to care about him. The big question was...could she trust him?

“Earth to Grace
. How are you doing? Are you still with me?” Seth asked.

“Yes
. Just thinking about Nana. She seemed so down. I wish I could raise her spirits.”  She sighed. “It’s like she’s giving up.”  She couldn’t let that happen. Somehow she needed to help her find the will to live.

“It’s only natural for someone Nana’s age to feel that way
. She came close to dying.”

“I know, but it’s hard to see her so depressed.
”  She bit down hard on her lower lip to keep from crying.

“Give her some time
. She’s had a shock. She’s a fighter and will snap out of it in a few days.”