No Direction Home (Sweet Home Colorado) (20 page)

“Could I
? Really?”

“That’s what I’d like.
”  He pointed toward the valley below. “I want to have this view from the family room with a whole wall of windows so we can always look out and watch the weather move in. Other than that, it’s up for grabs.”

“I can find all kinds of floor plans on the net.
” 

Seth could tell Joey was beside himself with excitement
. “Great, you start there and we’ll compare notes with our builder.”  He stood up, gazing at the site of their future home. Maybe Grace would change her mind about how she felt about him when he gave her a beautiful log home of her own.

Joey held onto his crutches and stood beside Seth
. “You really didn’t tell the girls you’re going to do this?” 

“Nana knows
. Other than her, we’ll keep it between us men. Can you keep a secret?”  Seth ruffled Joey’s hair.

“Oh, yeah, my lips are sealed
. They’ll never get it out of me. Even if they torture me, I’ll never tell.”

He laughed
. “Okay, good enough for me. I’d better take you back to the ranch. We have a stretch of fence we need to repair up north. Have to go out and check on it with Travis.”

“Can I keep the crutches and practice before Grace gets home from the hospital
? I want to surprise her.”

“Yes, on one condition
. You don’t wear yourself out.” 

Joey grinned at Seth
. “Deal.”  They shook hands.

After helping the boy work through his problems the last few months, Seth had grown quite fond of the young man and had always wanted to adopt him
. Now Grace thought it was her idea, it would work to his advantage. He knew how deeply she cared about the children. He would bind this family so tight she wouldn’t have a way out.

Besides, after last night, he knew they w
ere meant to be together. She couldn’t let herself go like that if she didn’t care. He had the memories to hold on to. For now, he’d step back and give her space to adjust to the changes that had happened to her in the last few days. It was okay. He needed the time to build their new home. If he left her alone, she’d realize he loved her and wanted to spend his life with her and the children.

Chapter Nineteen

The days flew by, turning into weeks, keeping Grace busy with her visits to the rehabilitation center where they’d moved Nana, her writing and caring for the children
. Today, when she walked into the room, Nana’s thick white hair had been washed and combed smooth and Grace was happy to see the sparkle in her eyes that had been missing.

“It’s good to see you sitting up.
”

“The nurse shampooed my hair and I feel much better today
. The doctor says I’ve turned a corner.”

She kissed Nana’s cheek, hoping she would be able to come home soon
. “That’s wonderful news. I’d like to curl your hair for you, if you feel up to it. I’m not used to seeing it so flat.”

“I’d love it.
”  Nana clicked off the TV. “I hate it like this, but at least it’s clean.”  She sighed, picking a ball of fuzz off the blanket. “I haven’t had it done in such a long time.”

The tone of Nana’s voice was music to Grace’s ears
. The fact she cared about how she looked was a good sign. It meant she was on her way to a full recovery. “Well, I can take care of it. I'll run down and borrow one of Cindy's curling irons and style it for you.”

“Thanks, dear
. Getting my hair curled would pick up my spirits.”

“Do you need anything else while I’m downtown?
”

“No, I don’t think so.
”  She pressed the button to lower the bed. “I think I’ll take a nap while you’re gone.” 

"You do that."  Grace leaned over and kissed Nana’s cheek
. “I’ll be back soon.”

***

Nana smiled to herself as she watched her granddaughter leave the room. Things were working out the way she had hoped. Seth had told her the house was almost finished and with each day Grace was getting closer to the children. He loved her and was giving her time to come to the realization she really wanted to be married to him.

Grace was going to be surprised when she found out Seth had built her a new home
. Nana drifted off to sleep with a warm feeling in her soul.

***

Grace walked past the reception desk, smiling at Gloria. Cindy was sweeping up her last client’s hair from around her styling chair.

Cindy glanced at Grace
. “Hey, what’s up? I thought you were at the hospital.”

“I was
. Nana wants her hair curled. Can I borrow a curling iron and some hairspray?”

“Sure
. She must be feeling better.”  Cindy waved toward an arrangement of curling irons at her styling station. “Take your pick, whatever you need. I’m going on my lunch break. Want to grab something to eat with me?”  

“Sure, Nana is taking a nap so she won’t miss me.
”  She remembered how hectic things could get when working in the salon. Many times the stylist didn’t get a lunch break. “Where do you want to go?”

“Across the street to the pizza parlor
. I only have a half hour.”

Grace hadn't been feeling too well the last couple of days and the thought of pizza made her stomach lurch, but she’d go along
.

Grabbing her purse, Cindy smiled
. “What’s up? You look like you have something on your mind.”  They ran across the street, avoiding the light afternoon traffic.

She frowned
. “Let’s order first.”  Standing behind the counter staring at the pizza under glass, all of a sudden her heart was beating too fast. Everything turned hazy and she gripped the counter, willing the nausea to pass.

“We’ll take two specials
. My treat.”  Cindy ordered for them both as Grace slid toward the floor.

Grace felt Cindy’s arms catch her and ease her to a sitting position
. “You’re all right. I’ve got you. Put your head down for a minute.”

From a distance, Grace could hear Cindy speaking
. Wiping the fuzzy feeling from her face, she pushed away, trying to sit up. “Yeah, I hear you.”   

“What happened
? Are you okay?” 

“I’m kind of weak.
”  She closed her eyes for and instant feeling miserable and stood up. “Help me to the booth.”

“Should I call someone?
” the clerk asked from behind the counter.

Grace waved her hand in negation
. “It’s not necessary. I’m fine now.”  She slipped into the booth across from Cindy. “I skipped breakfast this morning. I probably just need to eat something.” 

The clerk brought over glasses of water and put them on the table
. “If you need anything else let me know.”

“Thanks, I will.
”  Grace sipped the cool drink getting herself under control.

“What’s going on?
”  Cindy’s eyes were round with concern. “There’s something you’re not telling me.”

“Hush
. Give me a minute. It’s no big deal.”  Grace drank the water, collecting her thoughts, her mind a crazy mixture of hope and fear.
Could I be pregnant
? She wasn’t ready to go there.

“Take your time
. I’m here for you. You’ll feel better when you eat something.”

“Like I said, I’ve been skipping meals, trying to lose weight.
”  Who was she trying to convince here, Cindy or herself? Maybe her fears were premature. “That’s all it is.”

“Well, I’m relieved to hear it, but you look great
. You don’t need to lose any weight. Why put yourself through that?”  Cindy frowned. “Seth loves you the way you are. He told Travis one of the things he likes most about you is you have all the curves in the right places and you don’t look like those stick models in the magazines. He said you’re a real woman.”

Her whole body became engulfed
in weariness and despair as she felt disturbing quakes in her serenity just thinking of Seth. “He tells Travis this stuff and hardly speaks to me, unless the kids are around.”  She attempted a smile.

“The man works all the time
. He comes to bed after I’m asleep and goes to work before I get up.”  It gnawed away at her confidence. “I only see him at dinner time with the kids and he’s always nice, but there’s nothing between us. I’m living a lie.”  She wiped imaginary crumbs from the table wondering how it would all turn out.

“Honey, it can’t be that bad
. You have the kids. I know he loves you. Give it time.”

“Time
? It’s been weeks and he hasn’t touched me since the first night.”  Grace felt as hollow as her voice sounded. “It really is a sham marriage. He was just after the ranch.”  She fought hard against the tears she refused to let fall. “I have the children and he has the ranch. I know I have to learn to live with it, but it’s hard.”

“Things will change
. Travis says Seth loves you. You have to believe in him.”

“Believe in him.
”  She gave in to the tension that had been building all day. “I don’t even know the man. What he chooses to show me is his good side in front of the children. A loving family man, kissing me on the cheek and hugging me while I make dinner, but he never touches me when we’re alone.”

“I’m sure he’s keeping extra busy so the ranch will be in top shape when Nana comes home
. He must have his reasons.”  The waitress set cokes and pizza between them. Cindy took a bite. “Yum, this is delicious. Eat up, you need your strength.” 

“Why do men have to be so difficult to understand
? I’ll never figure him out. He has the ranch and someone to take care of his children. He doesn't need anything from me.”  The implication sent waves of loneliness through her as she reached for a slice of pizza.  

“You’re wrong
. He loves you. You’ve both gone through lots of changes and maybe you just need to give him time to adjust. You’ll see. Things will get better.”

“You know, after we made love, I really thought we had a chance.
”  She sighed deeply. “Sort of new beginnings for both of us.”

“You do have a new chance.
”

“Do you really think so?
”  She clenched her jaw to stifle the sob in her throat.

“Yes, I do, but if you feel like crying, I’ve got a shoulder for you.
”   

Damn, am I that obvious
? She swallowed—hard. This was insane. She couldn’t afford to be distracted by romantic notions.
It was time to get on with it
. Grace realized how lucky she was to have a friend like Cindy, a gentle and serenely wise woman who was always in her corner. “You’re such a good friend.” 

“Of course I am
. That’s what friends are for. Lean on me anytime you feel the need. There’s nothing that can’t be said between us.”  Cindy grinned. “Enough now, things are going to work out the way they are supposed to. How is your book coming? Jenna said you were through with it.”

“Yes, I am
. I sent it off to her editor friend in New York, but I don’t expect to hear from them any time soon. Jenna says they take a long time to respond, because they get so many manuscripts.”

“Well, when you get published, we'll celebrate.
”

Grace smiled at the thought
. “I let Jenna read it and she says it’s good, but not to get my hopes up. She said I’d probably have to send it to several editors before anything comes of it.”

“I have a good feeling about this book
. If you’re able to keep one person from committing suicide, then it’s worth the trouble of trying to get it published.”

“I agree, but it’s out of my hands
. I think I’m going to write another book. I really enjoyed writing the chronic pain one, but it would be fun to write fiction.”

“Good for you
. I knew you’d find yourself, my friend the great writer.”  Cindy laughed around a bite of pizza.     

“I don’t know how great it is, but I love to write.
”  Memories of how she couldn’t do anything but lay in the hospital bed, drugged up and in unbearable pain, still haunted her. Cindy was right. She had found her niche. “It makes me feel productive. It’s rewarding to fill up a blank page with my thoughts.” 
To hell with Seth. I have the children and my writing. I don’t need anything else.
There was still a chance for her to grow whole again.

“I’m happy for you
. Look how far you’ve come, since you’ve been home. Maybe things aren’t perfect with Seth, but you’re glowing. You look wonderful and you have a good man and a family.”  A momentary look of discomfort crossed Cindy’s face. “Wish I could say the same for me.”

“You will
. At least you know where you stand with Travis. I know he likes you. He’s shy, but it’s going to work out for you guys.”

“I know he’s shy, but geez, what’s a girl supposed to do to get him to take the next step
? I thought we really had a shot when I was staying at the ranch and watching the kids. He’d come by the house and check on me when you guys were gone.”  A wistfulness stole into her expression. “Now that I’m back in town he hardly ever calls me.”  She picked at her pizza, frowning. “Do you think he’s seeing someone else?”

“No, I think Seth is working him so hard he doesn’t have a moment to breathe
. The boys have been putting in long hours working on the addition to the bunkhouse for the kids who are handicapped. That was Nana’s idea and Seth wants to have it completed before she comes home.”

“I hope that’s all it is
. I really like him.”

“I’m sure of it
. These days Seth is a slave-driver. I don’t know what put the burr under his saddle, but I wish he’d slow down.” 
And pay more attention to me.

“Yeah, me too
,” Cindy wolfed down the rest of her pizza and glanced at her watch. “I have an appointment in five minutes and I need to go back to the shop.”  Her left brow raised a fraction. “Are you going to be okay?”

“I’m fine
. Like I said, I needed to put some food in my stomach.”  Leaving half a slice on her plate, she rose to leave with Cindy. “I want to go by the drug store and pick up a few things. I’ll bring your stuff back later today or tomorrow.”

“There’s no hurry
. I have plenty to work with. Keep it at the hospital for Nana if you like.” 

Grace gave Cindy a wave and walked in the opposite direction down the street toward the drug store
. She had all the symptoms and wanted to know if her suspicions were correct. If she was pregnant she’d love this baby with all her heart. Hope sprung to her breast at the thought of holding her own child in her arms. If the test came out the way she wanted she’d have Seth to thank for this miracle.

***

Later that afternoon, Grace drove onto the Cactus Rose Ranch and noticed Sheriff Frank Thompson’s car parked in the driveway. What was he doing at the ranch? She knew he was sweet on Nana, but she was still in the hospital. Was Seth in some kind of trouble? Hurrying through the entryway she saw Seth and the sheriff standing at the kitchen table looking at maps. “What’s going on?”