Next Door Neighbors (17 page)

              “Why, of course!” Elena was always willing to listen to whoever wanted to talk, especially when it came to her son. She was curious, though, as to what this serious topic could be about.

              “Okay. Well, you know that ever since I’ve started coming up here to take care of you that I’ve been missing this place more than I already did.”

              “Yeah.”

              “Every time I go home I count down the hours before I can come back here.”

              Elena smiled joyfully that her only son loved being around his childhood home, and in essence, near her. However, she wasn’t quite sure she liked where this conversation was headed.

              “Anyway, the thing is…and I don’t know how I would make it work yet, but I’m thinking about moving back up here.” Brian waited patiently for his mother’s response.

              Elena didn’t know what to say though. Did she want her son to be close by and see her often? Of course! Did she want him to move away from everything he owned and had? No. With a heavy sigh, Elena answered, “Brian, as much as I’d love for you to come back and see you often, I just don’t want you to do it.”

              “Why not?” Brian questioned, a slight whine in his tone of voice.

              “Listen, you’ve built your life down there. You have a business to run and a place of your own. Now that I’m in a place that can help me when needed, I don’t necessarily need you to be around anymore.”

              “Ouch. That’s a bit harsh.”

              “I don’t mean to sound like I don’t want you here. I’m just saying I don’t
need
you here. We’ve lived how many years apart now? I’ll be fine. I don’t want you moving here for me.”

              Brian let those words sink in a little, not sure if he should listen to them or not.

              “Now, if there’s another reason for you to move back then that’s a different story,” his mom added. “Is there another reason?”
              Brian saw the mischievous look on his mom’s face and knew exactly what his mom was referring to. She was basically asking him if Jill was that reason.

              “Uh, I don’t think so, mom,” he said in despair.

              Elena sensed Brian’s heartache, and in turn, she ached too. She ached for her son to get what he so deeply desired. “Want to talk about it?” she asked, noticing the gloom on her son’s face.

              “I’m not sure there’s much to say. I mean, I know Jill likes me. I can tell she wants to be with me. But she just won’t give me a chance. We had an amazing moment two weeks ago, but now she’s completely avoiding me. I just don’t know what to do.”

              Elena caught a glimpse of defeat, brokenness and deep sorrow in her son’s eyes. How she longed to make everything right.

              “I’m sorry, Brian. The only advice I can give you is this: a woman’s heart is a fragile thing, and unfortunately Jill’s has been shattered to the point of almost not being able to be fixed. If you love her, and I mean really love her, keep showing her. She’ll eventually come around if she’s the one you’re supposed to be with.”

              Brian nodded in understanding.

              “And between you and me, I think the two of you would be wonderful for one another. Just give it time, and never stop pursuing her.” Elena patted her son’s knee and then stood up to get a drink.

              Leaning back in his chair, he exhaled and mused over his mother’s advice.

              Just then someone knocked on the door.

---------------

              After Jill and Amanda had finished their meal, they opted out of dessert. Talking about each other’s love lives, or lack thereof, proved too much for the two of them, and both could sense they should just end the night.

              Amanda paid for the whole thing, stating it was really her husband’s money, and therefore, it was a small way of getting back at him for his recent behavior. Even though Jill didn’t one hundred percent agree, she went with it, not in the mood to argue.

              Both friends parted ways outside of the restaurant; Jill parked near the side of the building while Amanda was right up front.

              As soon as Jill got into her car she checked what time it was. She was hoping to go visit Elena if it wasn’t too late seeing as she was just a few miles down the road.

             
Just after eight? I think I can make a quick trip.

              Jill maneuvered the car out of the parking lot and down the road. The few minutes it took to get to Elena’s, Jill had thought about what Amanda had said about Brian. She thought about talking to Elena about everything seeing as she trusted her opinion. But she didn’t know if she should tonight being such a big conversation at such a late time.

              Peppercorn Community Assisted Living was spotted up ahead, signaling to Jill it was time to start slowing down. Making her way into the parking lot, Jill found a spot to park and turned off the vehicle. She briskly made her way to the building, wishing the weather would start getting warmer. Once inside, she was greeted by a friendly, young woman as she found the hallway she needed and made her way down to Elena’s room.

              1025 was on the right. Jill grew slightly anxious because she knew at some point Brian’s name might get brought up and tonight was just not the night to discuss him. But pushing past her mixed emotions, she lifted her hand and tapped the door three times.

              “Come in!” Jill heard Elena’s voice call out from inside.

              When she opened the door and stepped inside, she saw Brian on the left sitting in one of Elena’s recliners. Standing frozen, she made eye contact with him for a brief moment before shifting her glance over to Elena. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had company,” she apologized. “I’ll come back some other time.”

             
Of course Brian would be here. Why didn’t I think of that?

              Jill turned around and made her way back out the door.

              Elena, puzzled at Jill’s quick dismissal, looked over at her son. But Brian was already getting up and heading for the door.

              “Hang on, mom. I’ll be right back.”

              “Okay,” Elena replied quietly seeing as Brian had already left.

              Running after Jill, Brian called out, “Jill, wait up!”

              Jill didn’t listen. Instead she placed her hands inside her coat pockets and walked a bit faster.

              Catching up to her, however, Brian once again called her name as he grabbed her right arm, turning her around.

              Exhaling deeply as she glanced from his hand on her arm to his eyes, she coldly said, “What?”

              At first Brian just looked into her eyes, trying to figure her out.

             
Why the one hundred and eighty degree turn?

              Then sighing himself, he earnestly entreated, “You don’t have to leave just because I’m here.” Brian’s eyes never left Jill’s. He tried reading what was going on inside; tried figuring out why she was acting as if he was the plague and had to be avoided at all costs.

              “It’s not a big deal. I’ll just come back later,” Jill responded.

              “You obviously came for a reason, though.”

              “It wasn’t important. Like I said, I’ll come back later.”

              Jill’s face became stern, which made Brian wonder if it was really Jill standing before him. This was definitely not the woman he had come to know.

              And love.

              His own emotions rising, with a flustered tone he asked, “Did I do something wrong? Whatever it is, I’m sorry.”

              “Look, Brian, I’ve got to go.”

              Jill tried pulling her arm back to herself so that she could take off, but Brian tightened his grip, not ready for her to leave yet. “Jill, I’ve got to leave again in a couple of days and I’d like to talk to you about something before I go.” When she hesitated, he begged. “Please.”

              The longing for an explanation and sadness in his eyes made it really hard for Jill to say what she was about to say, but in her opinion it had to be said. Shaking her head, she said, “I’m sorry. I hope it goes well.”

              Then with more force than before, she freed her arm from his grasp and walked off. This time Brian didn’t try to stop her. Instead, he watched her go. When she had left the building and could be seen no more, Brian deeply exhaled, unaware that he was holding his breath for quite some time.

              Not knowing where to go from here, he slowly made his way back to his mom’s place, head hanging in despair. When he opened the door and walked in, Elena didn’t need to ask how it went. The answer was written all in her son’s face. She decided the best thing to do was hug him.

              As soon as they embraced one another, Brian’s emotions got the best of him and he silently wept right there on his mother’s shoulder.

15

              Another workday was done and over with. Jill was glad when her shift was over. Every time she had seen the outdoors, the sun was brightly shining all around. She longed to get a feel of its warmth once again, having been such a long, harsh winter.             

              Walking out to her car she breathed in the fresh air. It was bitter cold yet, but the sun’s rays were a pleasant change of pace. She enjoyed the small bit of heat that reached her skin. Even better was how the sun warmed up her vehicle.

              She turned on the car, ready to head home, however, she noticed the low fuel indicator light turned on, reminding her to stop and get gas.

              The light had come on when she made her way back from Elena’s house two nights before, but figured she would just get it on her way to work this morning. However, she ended up running late so couldn’t do so.

             
I hope I can make it to the gas station.

              Each second Jill was on the road she pleaded with the car to keep going, but made sure to take some back roads in case it wouldn’t.

             
Just a little further. Come on. Just a little further.

              Her mantra seemed to work for the most part. Until she was about two miles away from the nearest gas station. Jill’s car suddenly slowed down and the steering wheel locked. Jill did her best to remain in control until she was safely off the road.

              At a complete stop, Jill sighed frustratingly.

              Now she was even more grateful that it was a sunny day because a good hike seemed to be in the picture. However, before going that route, she tried to restart in hopes she could get even closer. The engine turned over and over, but wouldn’t run.

             
Come on, please start,
Jill begged silently as she tried again.

              Nothing.

              “Ugh!”

              Just when she accepted defeat and realized she’d have to do some walking, she noticed a dark-colored vehicle pull up behind her, one that looked awfully familiar, but couldn’t be placed.

              Yay, someone is coming to my rescue!

              She eagerly watched to see who was going to step out.

              Brian? Seriously? I thought he would have gone back home by now!

              Ever since they saw each other at Elena’s, Jill hibernated in her home, hoping he wouldn’t bother with her anymore. She was beginning to despise the way she was acting towards him, but felt it necessary until he got the hint that nothing could ever happen between the two of them.

              Of all people in Ashwin on this day traveling down this road, however, Jill wondered why it had to be Brian that stopped to help.

              She kept an eye on Brian through her rearview mirror. He didn’t step out of the car until the coast was clear. When he reached Jill’s vehicle, he tapped on the window and said, “Jill? I thought this looked like your car. Is everything okay?”

              After rolling the window down, she answered with words as cold as ice, “No, not really.”             

              Brian bent down so his head was now in the car window. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

              She was too embarrassed to tell him that her car ran out of gas, but knew that anyone could easily figure out that an empty gas tank was the culprit. Without looking at him, she uncomfortably told him her car had run out of gas as she yet again vainly tried getting it to start.

              Her vehicle didn’t.

              “I was going to get gas this morning, but was running late,” she further explained, hoping her reasoning was somewhat justifiable.

              “Well, let me bring you to the gas station. It’s not that far down the road.”

              His gaze went the direction of the nearest gas station and then back at Jill as he awaited her response, although he was almost certain he knew what it would be.

              “No, it’s okay. I can just walk.”

              Brian smiled, partly because of being right about her answer and partly because she was being a little nonsensical.

              Maybe I can reason with her?

              “Jill, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

              Looking at him crossly, she asked, “Why not?”

              “For starters, it’s cold out here.”

              She looked out the window and saw a slight breeze amongst the trees. She saw the inches of snow still stuck to the ground. Icicles were on houses.

             
It is February,
she remembered.

              Then she thought of the sun. “Yeah, but the sun is out. It’ll keep me warm enough.”

              Brian shot back another point, “But the gas station is still a ways down the road. You’re telling me you want to walk all the way down there, and then all the way back carrying a gas can?”

              Jill didn’t respond this time, Brian hoping that what he said was sinking in. After all, letting him take her to the gas station was the more logical way to go.

              “Come on, Jill. It won’t kill you to let me take you to get gas,” he insisted, with only the slightest annoyance seeping into his words.

              Sighing, she gave in. “All right, all right.”

              “Good,” Brian smiled. He held his smile as he walked back to his car, glad that she gave in.

              Jill took her keys from the ignition and grabbed some important belongings. Leaving her car behind, she crossed her arms and headed towards the car behind her.

              Brian’s car was surprisingly tidy and smelled really good. For someone who traveled often and had the occupation that he did, Jill expected the complete opposite of what she found upon entering and taking a seat.

              The seat itself was comfortable and fit Jill’s body nicely, Jill owing it all to the age of the vehicle. She felt cozy with the heat not blasting too hot, but just enough to warm her in all the right places.

              And there was no music. Jill took Brian to be a guy to have something playing so she decided that either he turned it off as he waited for her to get inside or maybe he didn’t know of any good radio stations up in Ashwin. Either way, it made her curious as to what he did like. She thought about asking, but then decided against it.

             
Best to just keep quiet and get this over with.

              And Jill did just that.

              The short trip to the gas station was as silent as the grave. Jill didn’t say a single word to Brian, and Brian, in return, let her be. Deep in his brain, however, he was trying to figure out just how to break the ice that was between them.

              One thing Brian was certain of. The way she was sitting, as far from him as the car allowed, seemed like a slap in the face. Like he had an incurable, transferable disease. Like she was afraid to be anywhere near him.

              And it stung.             

              But Brian was determined to change things. To keep trying until she came around.

              At the gas station Brian offered to get the gas can filled up for Jill, but again, she denied him. She was determined to need no help; to do everything on her own. Brian just threw his hands up in defeat and let her have her way.

              He took the time to watch her. He watched as she went inside to buy a gas can. As she came back out to the pump, he saw her face was worn and upset. At the pump, Brian eyed her as she slid her card along the reader, chose the right options and removed the nozzle. From the looks of the can, Brian guessed it was a two gallon one so filling it up wouldn’t take much time. He noticed how she accidently spilled a little at the top from over pumping, and for some reason it made him smile.

              Probably because that was characteristic of Jill. Cute little mishaps.

              Jill quickly finished and got back into Brian’s car, the gas can safely between her legs. Again, she took the position closest to her side door and stared out her window.

              Getting onto the side road that Jill’s car was sitting dead on, Brian aimed to end the silence. He reached for her hand as he asked for her attention. “Jill?”

              Without missing a single beat, she glanced down at Brian’s touch and swiftly took her hand back to herself, trying to inch even closer to her door.

              “Jill, did I do something wrong? I feel like you’re avoiding me like I’m some kind of criminal!” Brian argued.

              “I don’t feel like discussing anything with you,” she responded nonchalantly.

              Brian contemplated on how to best proceed when he positioned his car behind Jill’s.

             
I’m just going to bring it up.

              As both Jill and Brian got out of the car, Brian stated, “Look, ever since you and I shared that kiss you’ve been avoiding me.”

              Jill kept walking towards her car as she replied loud enough for him to hear from behind her, “That kiss should have never happened. It was a mistake.”

              “But it did! And you can’t deny that we have an attraction for one another!”

              Jill undid the gas cap and started pouring the gas slowly into the tank. Then looking at him and speaking in a tone as if she didn’t want anyone else to hear, she said, “Fine. I admit I’m attracted to you. Does that make you happy to hear that?”

             
Finally! She finally admitted what I thought all along!

              “Yes. Yes, it does make me happy,” he started, voice still elevated. “But I want to know why you’re pushing me away.”

              Jill poured the last little bit into the gas tank and then sealed everything up. Opening her trunk to place the empty can, she responded, “Because it would never work.”

              “Why not?” Brian asked angrily.

              Jill just shook her head as she closed the trunk of her car.

              “Why not, Jill?” Brian repeated, unsatisfied with her lack of reply.

              Jill lost it. Staring furiously up at him, she shouted, “Because! I’ve already traveled down that road and got burned! I don’t feel like going through that again!”

              The last thing that Brian wanted to do was upset Jill. While glad they finally got to the bottom of everything, he never meant for the conversation to get so escalated; so out of control. And though he knew she had a rough past and a fear of trying again, he didn’t understand why she’d place him on the same level as Mark.

              Placing his fingers on the bridge of his nose, Brian took a deep breath to calm down. Then looking at Jill once more, he calmly suggested, “Well, did you ever think that I’m not Mark? Or even remotely like Mark?”

              Jill didn’t respond. Her gaze was off to the side, but Brian knew she was listening. So he continued, “Don’t you know there happens to be a good guy or two on this planet? Guys that would never dream of hurting the one they love?”

              Brian’s eyes stared into Jill’s as he tried to get a response. He could see she was tormented; that she wished things were different.

              “Well?” he pleaded.

              Come on, Jill. Give me a chance. Give us a chance.

              “Well,” she began then paused. She continued as she moved around him, “It’s time for me to get home.” Reaching her driver side door, she opened it and looked over at Brian, adding, “Speaking of which, I thought you’d be back home by now.”

              He hated that she was dismissing the conversation, but still offered a friendly response. “I leave tomorrow.” Brian was reminded that he needed to talk to her about something so he added grimly, “Before I go, though, I really need to discuss something with you. It’s about my mom and her house.” Hopefully saying that would open her up to talking to him.

              Jill sat down in her driver’s seat and reached out to grab the door. Just before closing, she looked at Brian one last time and said, “Fine. Come over tonight then, any time after seven.”

              She waited for no response. Jill closed the door, started her car and took off after making sure the road was clear, leaving Brian to feast on the exhaust fumes.

              He watched her go for a moment, but wanted to get back into the warmth of his car. Brian was glad that seven o’clock worked for him.

              What he had to talk about, however, was another story.