Neil (The Uncompromising Series Book 2) (35 page)

Fate mocking me, the memories started playing through my mind. The first time Jason had kissed me, he’d been so gentle and sweet. The first time he’d made love to me, he’d held me tight, telling me over and over that he loved me. I sobbed harder. I would never feel that way again. I would never be loved like that again.

Oh God,
Jason
.

Viking took me and Conner into his arms. His warmth, his scent, it made me feel guilty, and worse, all I wanted to do was hold on but I knew I was upsetting Conner and I needed to pull my shit together.

I swiped at the mess my face had become and stepped away from Viking. In that moment, more so than all this past week, I felt how truly short life really was. “I need to give Conner a bath.”

Holding my son, studying me like he was concerned, Viking stared down at me. “I do not have confirmation.”

I knew what he was saying but I didn’t trust it. Candle was ruthless and Jason never turned his phone off.

Viking gripped my shoulder. “Do not give Scott your fear.”

“This isn’t fear, this is grief. And you’re as guilty as Candle.”

“Do not define me.”

“Why, are you afraid of what I’ll say? Afraid I’ll call you a coward and a liar? You had the resources to stop Candle before this but you did
nothing
.”

“I explained this to you.”

I was flabbergasted. “No, you said something about going after the president of the LCs and Candle was the one who told me he did you a favor once but you never explained anything.”

“Stone Hawkins, the President of the LCs, was a problem for Talon a few weeks ago. Scott fed information to Talon to help neutralize Hawkins because Scott was not happy with Hawkins’s leadership of the LCs. Hawkins retaliated by going after Scott and using Tanner to do it. Scott was desperate but he was never going to hurt you so I did not kill him.”

Oh my God.
He rattled off the information like it justified everything, completely ignoring what Candle had done to me. “He kidnapped me,
twice
. Now you have morals?”

“Morals are an argument for lack of intelligence,” he stated matter-of-factly.

“So you’re stupid?” I was so sick of his cryptic bullshit.

“Morals presume choice. Survival is predicated on necessity. Scott was desperate for money to get out from under Hawkins but he was not stupid. Once he knew I had his guns, he played the only hand he had. But he also knew if he injured you, or anyone close to you, he would not get what he wanted. He is bluffing about Tanner. He did not kill him.”

He said it so succinctly, like Candle was a decent fucking person. “Then where is Jason?”

“Luna will find him.”

I had to agree that André could find anyone but that didn’t mean I was going to let Viking think I was okay with this shit. “For the record, this is me not forgiving you for letting Candle walk me out of that restaurant with a gun shoved in my side, or for paying him, or for lying.”

Viking inhaled. “I know you do not forgive me.”

“Then maybe you should work on your apologies.”

“I regret nothing.”

My brain hurt. My back hurt. My heart and my pride hurt. Viking was unapologetic and I wanted to hate him but every second I stood here listening to his justifications, I lost more of myself. “That’s great. Enjoy your frenemies but leave me the hell out of it. Conner’s tired. We’re going upstairs.” I reached for Conner.

Viking didn’t budge. “I will carry him.”

Conner’s head on Viking’s shoulder, his thumb in his mouth, he stared at me and I knew if I fought Viking on this, there’d be toddler tears. The big, wet, heartbreaking kind and I couldn’t take another minute of tension. I squeezed my son’s foot. “Neil’s going to carry you upstairs but then its bath and nap time.”

His little thumb popped out of his mouth. “No nap. No tired.”

“Yes nap. No arguments or I will carry you upstairs and Neil will go home right now.”

He clutched at Neil’s shirt and stuck his thumb back in his mouth. I knew he didn’t understand what we’d been talking about earlier, but I felt guilty as hell for how our day had turned out. All I’d wanted was to spend time with him.

I walked upstairs, hyperaware that I was in a bikini and Viking was following. I wasn’t self-conscious of my body, but this was Viking. By the time I got to my front door, I fumbled my keys and Viking didn’t hesitate. He reached around me, took the keys from my hand and unlocked my door without a word.

I wasn’t ashamed of who I was but after seeing Viking’s condo and his house in Ocala, I was more aware than ever of my half-furnished apartment and the differences between us. I stepped one foot inside my place and turned.

“Say good-bye to Neil, Conner.” I reached for my son.

Conner burst into tears. “No,” he wailed.

Viking said something to Conner in Danish and handed him to me, but unlike every other time Viking spoke to my son, Conner didn’t quiet down.

I kissed my son’s sandy head. “Come on, sweet boy, bath time.”

“Ariella.”

“Good-bye, Neil.” I shut the door then hurried into my kitchen.

All my knives were there.

E
VERYONE AT
L
UNA AND
A
SSOCIATES
tiptoed around me. Tyler didn’t speak to me. The coffee in the break room was making itself. No one asked me about their schedules. André didn’t even give me any additional work, but there’d been an extra seven hundred bucks in my paycheck and I hadn’t questioned it, I’d just paid the damn rent.

I sat at the fucking reception desk every day and watched the front door like I was waiting for something. It’d been a week. No Viking. No sign of Jason or his girlfriend despite André telling me they were alive. And Layna had texted me to say she’d extended her honeymoon. The fact that she hadn’t asked how I was or mentioned anything told me André and Viking had kept their mouths shut and I was glad. But I was dying inside. I couldn’t sleep. I heard noises. I jumped at every little sound. Conner fell asleep after dinner every night and I couldn’t even bring myself to turn on the ridiculously large TV hanging on my wall like an albatross.

The phone rang and I picked it up with a sigh. “Luna and Associates.”

“Ariel Walsh, please.”

I’d have recognized Jannat’s smooth voice anywhere. I wanted to say I wasn’t there, or worse, hang up, but I didn’t. “Hey, Jannat. It’s me.”

“How are you?”

I could practically see her smile and it only made me want to hate her more but I couldn’t. “Fine. You?” I didn’t want to have this conversation but I’d be lying if I said the curiosity wasn’t killing me.

“Wonderful. You’re probably curious as to why I’m calling.”

“The thought did cross my mind.”

“Have you spoken with Neil?”

I instantly felt bitchy. “I’m not sure how that’s any of your business.”

“Aw, yes.” Her voice softened. “I’m being intrusive.”

You think? “Your words, not mine.”

“I promise, I did not call to upset you. I just thought I owed you an apology. When I met you, I did not know who you were. I’m afraid my words were misconstrued.”

Not much to misconstrue about the fact she was married to Viking. “You don’t owe me anything.” Did Viking put her up to this?

“Neil doesn’t know I am calling,” she said, as if reading my thoughts. “I’m afraid he would not approve.” She laughed softly.

I shook my head. “You’re probably right. There’s not a whole lot he approves of, not that I give a damn what he thinks.” The lie tasted bitter.

“Perhaps that is the main reason he is so taken with you.”

Okay. Not going there. “I doubt that. Listen, thanks for the call. I’m at work, so…”

“Of course, my apologies.” She paused.

I thought the line went dead. “Jannat?”

“Our marriage was one of convenience. It was never physical. He wasn’t cheating on me with you. I thought you should know that.”

I sucked in a breath and a deep-seated jealousy I’d been harboring since the second I’d laid eyes on her released. “He told you.” I felt betrayed that he’d said something to her but I wasn’t sure if I hated his honesty more in that moment or respected him for it.

“No, not in so many words. But when you are around someone for two years, you learn certain things about them.”

I couldn’t help myself. “Like?”

“Like I have never seen him taken with a woman. He doesn’t allow himself to feel but you seem to be different. He has never brought anyone to the house.” Her gentle laugh was more musical than humorous. “And I suspect he is quite enamored with your son.”

“He wasn’t bringing me to your home. We were meeting Talon so I could get my son back.”

“I’m sure he could have driven you to Daytona just as easily as Ocala.”

I tried to not let her words sink in and form a desperate hope I was fighting every day. “It’s what Talon wanted.” I didn’t know what the hell Talon wanted.

“Hm. Well, you would know more than me.”

Her tone told me she didn’t believe it for a second. We both knew he was alpha as shit and would never agree to something simply because it was what someone else wanted. Viking did what he wanted, when he wanted. “Okay, well, thanks for calling. I’m sure I’ll see you around.” I hated myself for thinking it, but I didn’t want to see her around. She was everything Viking should have in a wife—poised, graceful, kind… not a stripper.

“Unfortunately, this is good-bye. Neil has worked tirelessly for the past year to secure safe passage for me and the children to go back home. Coming here was never meant to be permanent. A home has been built for us and the children, even the girls, are enrolled in a private school. We are returning next week.”

Wow. “Is that safe?”

“My country needs me and I need it. There is a lot of work to be done. Women are still being victimized. Thanks to Neil, I am now in a position to help.”

“Then congratulations.”

“Thank you. I am overjoyed. I miss my country and the children are excited to see the friends they left behind. Neil has been more than kind. I will never be able to repay him.”

I knew the feeling but Viking didn’t strike me as someone who did what he did because he expected payment in return. “I doubt that matters to him.”

“Agreed. Neil is a man of few words but many principles.”

I bounced my pen on the desk.
Principles
. The second she said it, I was thinking about the scar on Viking’s chest. I’d thought about it every day. When I’d first seen Jannat, I’d assumed it was her doing but now that she’d said they’d never screwed around, I wanted to know more than ever. I told myself I’d never have this opportunity again and to just ask. “Do you know how he got the scar on his chest?” I blurted.

“Ah. I was wondering if this would come up. Did you ask him?”

“Yes. He said it was from a woman.” I cleared my throat. “He said she didn’t like what he did to her.”

“That is true. My eldest, she never adjusted to living here.”

Oh my God
. He slept with one of her kids? “And he—”

“It is not what you think. My daughter is very… dramatic. She was threatening to hurt herself if Neil didn’t let her leave before the rest of us. She was promised to a young man in marriage back home before we left but she’d heard that he was going to marry another woman because we had been gone so long. She was inconsolable. She took the car keys and was leaving when Neil stopped her. He took her out of the car and walked her to the stables—”

“You have stables?”

“Neil does, yes. Anyway, he told her he’d discuss her wishes once she’d calmed down. Then he handed her a brush and told her to clean one of the horses. When he turned to walk back to the house, she picked up a hoof pick and ran at him. I’m still not sure how she managed to cut him so badly. I’ve seen Neil in battle. He is quick and methodical. It was almost as if he let her attack him. I’ve asked him about it but he refuses to discuss it.”

Her daughter cut him. The daughter of the man he’d killed. It made perfect sense to me how she’d gotten at him. Viking had let her cut him. It was his way of giving her retribution. “I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say.

“I am too. He wouldn’t even let me take him to the hospital. He drove off and returned a few hours later and acted as if nothing had happened.”

“What happened to your daughter?”

“She is leaving with all of us next week.”

“I’m glad you’re all traveling together.” Another call came in but I let it go to the answering service.

“As am I. Will you do me a favor?”

I hesitated. “Okay.”

“After Neil returns, will you check in on him?”

“Returns?”

“He is escorting us back to Afghanistan.”

“He can do that?” Wasn’t there some kind of restrictions for Americans to travel there or something? Was Viking even an American citizen?

“He insisted. He is staying two weeks to make sure we get settled in.”

If I said I was jealous, it would make me a terrible person. “I’m sure he’ll be fine when he gets back.” Viking was the last person who needed someone looking after him. “Good luck to you, Jannat.”

“And you as well, Ariella.”

“Ariel,” I corrected, pronouncing my name with the long A that sounded much harsher than how Neil said it.