My Song for You: A Pushing Limits Novel (12 page)

Jared scrubbed his hand against his face. “So even then, in the event that she died, she couldn’t be bothered to admit the truth and list me as his legal guardian? She was willing to risk my son’s future for her idiotic charade? And what would have happened to him if you’d been in the vehicle? Who would’ve taken care of him then?”

“He would’ve been placed with children’s services and put up for adoption.” At his darkening expression, I added, my anger equaling his, “What, you thought it would’ve been better for Logan to be handed over to you? You could have been on tour then, for all she knew. Then what would you have done?”

But even my own words sounded hollow. Deep down, I knew Jared would’ve stepped up when he needed to, but I had allowed my sister to sway me, the way she always did. The more time that had gone by, the easier it had become not to contact Jared after my sister’s death and tell him about his son. And besides, Logan was the only family I had left. I needed him as much as he needed me. I couldn’t let Jared take him away from me.

“My sister and her husband would’ve been more than happy to take him in.”

“Yes, but when Alexis wrote the will, your sister was still in college.” Like I had been. “And it wasn’t as though my sister was expecting to die.” I swallowed hard, searching for the strength to ask my next question. “Now that you know the truth, what does it mean?” I chewed on my lip, hoping it meant nothing. That we could go back to how things were before and no one else had to know the truth, including Logan.

“I want custody of my son. I want him to know who his father is. And I want him to be part of my family, like he should have been from the beginning.”

Panic hit me like a boulder speeding down a steep slope. “You can’t do that,” I practically yelled.

“Legally I can. I already have the DNA test result to prove he’s my son. His biological mother is dead, so legally I can have full custody of him, especially since the fact that he is my son was kept from me.”

“But I’m his mother.”

“Legally, you’re not.”

“When did you become a fucking lawyer?” My legs were shaking uncontrollably at the possibility that I would lose not only the one person who loved me but the only family I had left. Before my legs could give out on me, I stumbled to the couch and sank down on it.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Jared sat next to me and let out a hard breath. “Hey, at least now you can go back to studying animation. You no longer have to worry about Logan, and you won’t have to spend your life working at the diner. Now you can finally date again and not worry about Logan getting hurt. You can finally have your life back.”

“How can I not worry about my son? He’s the only part of my sister I have left! Don’t you get that?” I said, stubbornly refusing to quit calling Logan my son. I didn’t care what Jared said—Logan was still my son. I might not have officially adopted him, but in my heart he would always be my child.

“You really don’t believe I’ll be a good father, do you?” Jared said, his voice reminding me of the eye of a hurricane, ready to lull you into a false sense of security before the vicious winds hit again.

“How could you be? Have you forgotten what you do for a living? Have you forgotten Logan is deaf? Are you planning to bring him on tour with you? What about his school? Are you planning to bring the necessary specialists with you to help him learn to communicate?”

“My parents and sister will help out.”

But not me.

Numbness crept in at the implication behind his words. He didn’t trust me because I’d kept my promise to the sister I’d loved.

“What about the media and paparazzi?” I asked. “Once they find out about him, he’ll never be left alone. He’ll never have the same freedom other kids have.”

“That’s not true. The paparazzi don’t target most celebrities’ kids. Most people aren’t even aware those celebrities have kids.”

It might’ve been true, but all I could see in my mind were those celebrity kids who were constantly in the limelight. With Tiffany and Jared possibly getting back together, there was no way Logan would stay free of the spotlight.

Jared pushed himself off the couch. “I’ve made up my mind, Callie. Your sister and then you kept me out of my son’s life for whatever misguided reasons you had. I’ll never get those years back, but I definitely plan to be in his life from now on.”

Without giving me a backward glance, he stalked out of the living room. A few seconds later, the apartment door clicked shut.

In the end, after everything was said and done, everyone had left me. Alexis. My parents. My ex-boyfriend.

And soon Logan and Jared would be added to the list—and I would lose everything that mattered to me.

In the staff locker room the next day, I stripped my uniform off and changed into my jeans and T-shirt.

“Any big plans for tonight?” Beckie asked, even though she already knew the answer. In the years she’d known me, I never had big plans for the night. The only exception was when I’d celebrated mine or Logan’s birthday with pizza and cake.

“Logan’s taking Jared to visit Nolan Kincaid and his girlfriend’s puppy. So I’m watching a movie till they get back.” And eating a container of ice cream.

Ice cream was supposed to be great if you were dealing with a broken heart because a boyfriend dumped you or had been caught cheating on you. What about when the guy you loved discovered your son was really his, and decided that you no longer fit in his son’s life the way you used to? Would ice cream fix that kind of broken heart too?

As luck would have it, I’d bought a container of triple fudge chocolate supreme the other day. I was all set for a fun-filled night.

“You really need to get out more,” Beckie said. When I opened my mouth to argue, she rushed out with, “I mean date. You need to find a great guy who makes you happy.”

“I’m happy.” This would’ve sounded more convincing if I hadn’t grumbled it. “I am, really.”

She shook her head. “No, what you are is overworked. You work here full-time, you take classes online, you work as a graphic designer on the side, you’re taking a sign language class, and you have a son. You need more fun in your life.”

“Logan and I do lots of fun things together.” Just not as much as we would have liked. Even the trip to Disneyland, which I’d idiotically blurted out that he and I would do last weekend, had been postponed indefinitely. But now that Jared planned to take Logan from me, “indefinitely” had become “permanently.”

From the way Beckie sadly shook her head, I had a feeling that either she disagreed with me or my interpretation of her words wasn’t quite what she’d meant—or a combination of the two.

Before she had a chance to list all the fun things missing from my life, I grabbed my backpack and hightailed it from the staff room.

The door of the diner hadn’t even shut behind me when an enthusiastic Logan came racing at me from nowhere and hugged me. “Hey, what are you doing here? Weren’t you guys going to see the puppy?”

“We are,” Logan said. “You said you come with us.”

He was right, I
had
said that, but after everything that had happened between me and Jared last night, I figured I was uninvited.

Or maybe I had just hoped I was, because the idea of spending the afternoon with Jared sounded like the worst possible idea in the arena of bad ideas.

My mouth twitched with the urge to tell him I couldn’t, but then I realized I needed to make the most of the few precious moments I had left with Logan. Soon I’d be nothing more than Auntie Callie, and I didn’t know if that meant I’d still have visitation rights.

I probably should hire a lawyer to find out.

I let Logan lead me to Jared’s car. The booster seat was a different model than the one in my car. He must have bought one. I looked at Jared, eyes wide.

Understanding where my thoughts were, Jared answered, voice low so that Logan would be less likely to overhear him, “I haven’t told him yet.”

I nodded. It was up to Jared as to when he wanted to break the news to Logan. He was on his own for that. I’d be there for Logan, of course, but that was about it.

The car ride over to Nolan and his girlfriend’s home was quiet, if you could call an excited four-year-old who was about to play with a puppy quiet. The journey couldn’t end soon enough for him.

At the lead singer’s house, a modest two-story home in a decent neighborhood, we parked on the street and climbed out. Jared let Logan ring the doorbell, and a small barking noise greeted us.

Logan pointed at the door, a huge grin on his face. “Puppy!”

The smile on my face at seeing him this happy was as wide as his.

The door opened a moment later to reveal the hottest guy I’d ever seen. Well, second-hottest after Jared, but considering how mad I was at him, he didn’t count.

“You have to excuse Rocky,” Nolan said. “We’re still training him.” He crouched to Logan’s height and held up his hand for Logan to high-five. “You ready to meet him?”

It was a good thing Logan’s head was securely attached to his neck, otherwise it might’ve fallen off from how fast he was nodding.

Nolan opened the door wider to reveal a beautiful woman with long dark hair in jeans and a purple Pushing Limits T-shirt. She was kneeling and trying to restrain an excited fluffball from charging at us. One hand was gripping his collar, the other held against his chest.

My heart melted at the sight of the puppy. It hadn’t stood a chance, if truth be told.

“Hi, Logan.” The woman smiled in a way that told me the two were already acquainted. “You want to pet Rocky?”

I knelt next to Logan and held out my hand, showing him how to approach a dog. The little furball sniffed and licked my knuckles. Logan giggled.

“How old is he?” I asked her.

“Nine weeks.”

“He’s adorable.”

“Adorable and a handful,” she said, “but I’m glad we have him. Now I have someone to keep me company when the guys are on tour. I’m Hailey, by the way.”

“Hi. I’m Callie.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you. Jared said you guys have known each other since you were kids.”

“That’s true. How did you and Nolan meet?”

“Same deal. We were once best friends, but it wasn’t until he returned home last December that things between us changed.” The look she gave her boyfriend, who was talking to Jared, said it all. She was deeply in love with him, and from the look he gave her in return, the feeling was mutual.

Rocky licked Logan’s hand, and he giggled in surprise. Hailey showed him how the puppy liked to be stroked. Forget Disneyland—Logan had found his new happy place.

Maybe, if he was lucky, Jared would get him a puppy.

I couldn’t tell if Jared had already told Nolan and Hailey the truth about Logan. If she did know, she said nothing that would give it away.

The puppy jumped up against Logan’s legs, and he laughed again. I retrieved my smartphone from my purse and shot a few photos. At least I’d have those once he was gone.

Tears welled up. I blinked them away.

“Rocky, no jumping,” Hailey said, pushing the energetic puppy back down. “How ’bout we go outside? Maybe you can get Rocky to play catch with you, Logan.”

Their backyard wasn’t huge, mostly just grass and some flowers and shrubbery around the outside, along the fence. But it had plenty of room for a young puppy and four-year-old boy to play in. Hailey gave Logan Rocky’s favorite ball and we watched them run around. Logan’s throwing arm needed a little work, but Rocky didn’t care. He bounded after it and tried to pick it up in his mouth.

While they played, Hailey and I talked. Any other time, under different circumstances, it was easy to see that she and I could’ve been good friends. But now that the situation between Jared and me had changed, it would never happen. Her boyfriend was Jared’s best friend and bandmate, which meant she had to be on Jared’s side—even if she wasn’t.

A hand rested against my lower back, and I startled. “I have a feeling he’ll now expect me to get him a puppy,” Jared said, his mouth close to my ear. A shiver of desire shuddered through my body. Stupid, traitorous body.

“I suspect you’re right,” I replied in as cheerful a voice as I could muster, given the situation between us. “Then he’ll have someone to keep him company while you’re touring.”

The hand on my back jerked away, as if Jared had just realized he’d accidentally placed it there. “It’s not like I’m leaving him alone in the apartment.”

Yeah, but you’d be leaving him with your family instead of the only mother he’s ever known.
The words hovered at the tip of my tongue, but I needed to keep things civil between us. “I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant. It’s just Hailey said she’s happy to have Rocky to keep her company while the band’s away touring.”

Hailey returned from retrieving the ball from a bush. “Nolan said you guys are going to Disneyland tomorrow. I’ve always wanted to go there.” She looked longingly at her boyfriend, standing next to her.

“We are?” My gaze shot to Jared. He threw the ball for Rocky and Logan to chase after.

“I’m taking Logan since he wants to go,” he said.

“And when exactly were you going to ask me?” My throat closed up, shrinking to the width of a straw, making it hard to squeeze out the last words. He was already pushing me out of Logan’s life.

“You can come with us if you want.”

Now if only it had sounded like he actually meant it.

I focused my attention on Logan, but I could feel the quizzical gazes aimed at Jared and me.

“Do you mind if I use your bathroom?” I asked Hailey.

“No, go ahead.” She told me where to find it.

I didn’t really have to go. I just needed several minutes on my own to pull myself together. I didn’t need Logan to witness me falling apart.

The bathroom was decorated in a soothing blend of earth tones, but it wasn’t enough to help with the turbulent emotions inside me. I slid down the wall and pulled my knees to my chest.

Yesterday, after I’d told Jared what had happened to my family, I’d thought that I’d be dealing with a drought of tears for the next twelve months, after almost drowning Jared with how much I’d cried.

I was wrong.