Read My Life as a Stuntboy Online
Authors: Janet Tashjian
My Life as a Stuntboy (23 page)
“Believe it or not, they didn't blame you for Swifty. They were more concerned about Frank's safety in the home with an adolescent.”
I'm not sure, but I think that means me.
“You have a real opportunity to prove yourself here,” Mom tells me. “You're lucky to have a second chance.”
Three months of waiting to find out if I can hang out with Frank for a few more years hardly seems lucky to me, but it's definitely better than having Wendie pull up to the house today and take him away forever.
Mom removes Frank from his cage. Instead of cuddling him, she holds him with outstretched arms.
“He's all yours,” she says as she hands him to me.
My mother's one of the smartest people around. I was so worried about losing Frank that she knows the last thing I'd do now is whine about Frank's daily maintenance. The strange thing is, I don't mind doing it; I
want
to take care of Frank, even if it means dealing with rubber gloves and monkey poop.
want
to take care of Frank, even if it means dealing with rubber gloves and monkey poop.
cunning
“Okay, big guy,” I say. “You're coming with me.”
As I walk to Mom's office with Frank in my arms, I swear he gives me a cunning little wink. Which makes me wonder who's training who around here.
Â
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Ms. McCoddle wastes no time calling on me first thing Monday morning, as if she spent her weekend planning for this very moment.
“My book is the second one in a series,” I begin. “The first was more of a mystery, but this one focuses on a boy and his best friend.”
“Go on,” Ms. McCoddle says.
As I scan the words I've written, I get a sudden jolt that reminds me of the YouTube video Matt posted. The memory is physical, like a stab in the gut.
cubicle
“Are you all right, Derek?” Ms. McCoddle asks.
I don't want to tell her that every time I read out loud, I still worry that I'll mess up or that I'll be a bad reader my entire life or that I'll be a grown man working in a cubicle, still drawing pictures of vocabulary words.
Instead, I inform Ms. McCoddle that I'm fine and inch my way through the next paragraph. I look up at the end of a sentence to glance at Matt, whose eager expression urges me on.
“There was lots of adventure in this book, lots of jumping and
running, which I liked. There were also moments that were pretty moving, even upsetting. I got through those parts as fast as possible so I could return to the sections with action.”
running, which I liked. There were also moments that were pretty moving, even upsetting. I got through those parts as fast as possible so I could return to the sections with action.”
Tom raises his hand and asks about one of the animals in the book. I answer in so much detail that Ms. McCoddle finally cuts me off.
“Is that all?” she asks.
“Isn't that enough? I mean, I read a whole book!” I head back to my seat.
As the others give their reports, I open up my sketchbook to the photo of Bodi and Frank I took this weekend. They're sitting next to each other on the couch, and you can see my reflection in the mirror behind them as I take their picture. Ninety
days of paperwork and phone calls seem like a modern-day torture device, but if that's what's required to keep Frank, that's what I'll do.
days of paperwork and phone calls seem like a modern-day torture device, but if that's what's required to keep Frank, that's what I'll do.
The rest of the day goes by incredibly slowly, the way some movie scenes use slow motion to emphasize something cool like a car driving off a cliff.
limousine
Later, in Ms. Decker's class, I stare out the window and imagine the premiere of Collette's film with Tanya Billings and me getting out of a limousine in front of the Mann Village Theatre. Tanya wears a sparkly gold dress, and I'm in a tuxedoâmaybe even with a beret and a silver walking stick. We eat lots of free popcorn during the movie, and the audience gasps when I perform my death-defying stunts. Afterward we
go to a party with giant ice sculptures and a make-your-own-sundae bar while hundreds of people clamor for our autographs.
go to a party with giant ice sculptures and a make-your-own-sundae bar while hundreds of people clamor for our autographs.
clamor
A series of coughs brings me back to reality. Carly's across the aisle, and when I look over at her, she scribbles on a piece of paper, then holds it up.
Stop grinning!
Stop grinning!
I wave her off and try to focus on Ms. Decker in the front of the classroom. I know my daydream is completely ridiculousâI won't be invited to the premiere, and hardly anyone will know I'm in the filmâbut still the whole adventure was positive. It makes me wonder what other great surprises are in store for me this year. The possibilities are endless, and I want to race out of the classroom to explore them all.
But reality crashes in when I see Ms. Decker standing beside me.
But reality crashes in when I see Ms. Decker standing beside me.
“Derek? What do you think?” she asks.
vaccine
I look over to Carly, then Matt, who both seem pretty amused that Ms. Decker nabbed me while I was daydreaming.
“Uhm ⦠a monkey?”
Several kids laugh, and Ms. Decker shakes her head. “No, I'm afraid the person who invented the polio vaccine was not a monkey. Maria?”
I shrug and let someone else scramble for an answer.
Which is fine, because my limo awaits.
“Dryly hilarious first-person voice ⦠. A kinder, gentler Wimpy Kid with all the fun and more plot.”â
Kirkus Reviews,
starred review
Kirkus Reviews,
starred review
Â
“Janet Tashjian, known for her young adult books, offers a novel that's partDiary of a Wimpy Kid,
part intriguing mystery ⦠. Give this to kids who think they don't like reading. It might change their minds.”
â
Booklist,
starred review
Booklist,
starred review
Â
“Derek is a smooth narrator with a strong, humorous voice ⦠. Derek tells readers, âIf my life were a book, I'd have my own cool adventures.' It is, and he does.”
â
The Horn Book
The Horn Book
Â
“The protagonist is by turns likable and irritating, but always interesting. He is sure to engage fans of Jeff Kinney's
Diary of a Wimpy Kid
books as well as those looking for a spunky, contemporary boy with a mystery to solve.”
Diary of a Wimpy Kid
books as well as those looking for a spunky, contemporary boy with a mystery to solve.”
â
School Library Journal
School Library Journal
Â
“Tashjian forgoes the lecture on the importance of reading and instead allows Derek's summer to unfold organically, implicitly highlighting the various learning experiences kids have outside of formal education ⦠. Comparisons to Kinney's
Wimpy Kid
are no doubt likely, and this will particularly gratify the younger end of that fan base.”
Wimpy Kid
are no doubt likely, and this will particularly gratify the younger end of that fan base.”
â
BCCB
BCCB
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