Read My Life as a Stuntboy Online
Authors: Janet Tashjian
My Life as a Stuntboy (19 page)
“This is more fun than making a movie,” Tanya says. “You don't have to worry about messing up on camera.”
“Unless your best friend's a cameraman.”
Matt waves his camera in the air.
Carly runs to the restroom to fill the water bottle in Frank's cage, and I realize how helpful she's been through all this. She may have been the class Goody Two-shoes all these years, but lately she's turned into a reliable friend.
I answer my phone on the first ring.
reliable
“Where are you?” Tony says. “There's only one more scene before yoursâget back here!”
I ask Matt if he and Carly can take Frank to my house. Luckily, Jamie's driving his parents' SUV, so there's plenty of room.
“Wake up!” I say to Ronnie, who's sound asleep in the front seat when we jump into the car. “We have to get going.”
“Your parents are paying me overtime for this,” Ronnie says. “Gas mileage too.”
Tanya calls over to Matt and Carly. “Hey! Why don't you come with us to the set so you can watch Derek do his final stunt.”
“Frank needs to get home,” I say.
Jamie pipes in. “I'll take him back. Matt and Carly can go with you.”
“Are you sure?” When I place Frank's cage in the back of the SUV, I feel bad for making fun of Jamie a few weeks ago. He's happy to see me and eager to help out with Frank. Even though he's going through a tough time, he's still the same old Jamie I've always liked. I thank him again for taking Frank home.
“Do you really think it's okay if they come to the set?” I ask Tanya. “Tony told me no visitors.”
Tanya smiles. “I don't think anyone will give us a hard time.”
Matt and Carly climb into the backseat of Ronnie's car, and I suddenly realize Swifty's standing in the parking lot alone. He's been the source of my suffering since school began, but I know what it's like to be left out, and even though he stole my monkey, I almost empathize with him now.
empathize
“You guys take off. I can't go anyway.” Swifty shyly motions toward Tanya. “But it was nice to meet you, Tanya.”
“You too, Swifty,” she answers.
Swifty's expression becomes a strange combination of delight mixed with guilt. He seems to feel pretty bad about what happened today.
Tanya climbs into the front seat, and I jump in the back with Matt and Carly.
delight
While Ronnie and Tanya talk up front, Matt and Carly elbow me in the ribs and mouth “Tanya Billings!” I burst into laughter as we drive back to the set.
Â
Â
Part of me thinks it's great that Carly and Matt are here to watch me work. It makes the job seem more real, not like something made up. But another part of me is nervous having two friends watching me do something where failing on my butt is a definite possibility. I don't let my mind wander to the dark area of my brain that says,
Matt posted a video of you struggling to read on YouTube. Don't screw
up now or he'll do it again
. I look at my friends, take a deep breath, and resolve to make them proud.
Matt posted a video of you struggling to read on YouTube. Don't screw
up now or he'll do it again
. I look at my friends, take a deep breath, and resolve to make them proud.
resolve
aviator
Collette, the director, puts her arm around Tanya. Her curls, hat, and aviator sunglasses almost hide her face. “Who are your friends?” Collette asks.
Before I can introduce them, Tanya introduces Matt and Carly to Collette. I pray she doesn't ask what they're doing here or where we've been.
“You ready, dude?” Collette asks.
“Ready,” I answer.
“The set looks a little different than it did in rehearsals. Check it out.”
We follow the director to the
other side of the soundstage, where they've set up a facsimile of a street under construction, complete with bulldozer, flashing lights, caution signs, and actors wearing hard hats.
other side of the soundstage, where they've set up a facsimile of a street under construction, complete with bulldozer, flashing lights, caution signs, and actors wearing hard hats.
“What do you think?” Collette asks us.
facsimile
“It looks so real,” Carly answers.
“Whoa!” Matt checks out the long row of orange cones set up on the fake street and tries to grab the board out of my hands. “How many are there?”
Collette snaps her gum. “Thirty.” “You have to slalom between thirty cones?” Matt asks me. “Without hitting anyâthat'll be a first!”
Just as I'm about to scream at Matt, he turns to Collette. “I'm kidding! I've seen Derek do a run of fifty without hitting any,” he lies.
When one of the assistants brings Collette something to sign, Matt pulls me aside. “You can do it, Derek. I know you can.”
Carly pulls him away from me. “Derek's going to be just fine.”
Collette finishes with the assistant and reaches for my board. “May I?”
I hand her my skateboard and follow her to the end of the driveway. “When you get to the end of the run, can you give me a nollie hardflip?” the director asks. “Something like this.”
Collette jumps on the board and rides down the driveway. She pops down with her front foot and kicks down with her back. She lets the board rotate as she's in the air, then lands on it with both feet.
The cast and crew applaud and hoot.
“I've been skateboarding since I was your age.” She hands me back the board. “Now let's see you.”
I tell myself she's asking me to do something I could do in my sleep and will myself to calm down. I jump on my skateboard and give the director my own nollie hardflip, landing a few inches away from her checkerboard sneakers. Tony's behind her, shooting me a giant smile. He's still in his alien costume and holding a parasol to keep cool.
While Collette talks to one of the cameramen, Matt pulls me aside. “A female director in a Dodgers cap who can skateboard? She's the perfect woman!”
Carly rolls her eyes. “I'm sure she's interested in you too.”
When I look over to see if Tanya saw my flip, I find her chatting on her cell, with two assistants hovering around her. But I have more important things to worry about than impressing her: namely, to slalom through thirty cones without falling or knocking any over. I ask Tony what will happen if I do.
parasol
“You'll just do it till you get it right. Mistakes are part of the process.”
Yet another reason why I wish Tony was our teacher this year.
“We're ready,” Collette says. “You two good to go?”
Tony and I tell her we are.
“Hey, you!” she calls to Matt. “I'm the only one shooting here today, got it?”
Matt shyly shuts off his camera and tucks it into his pocket. The assistant with the purple streak in her hair steps in front of me with
the clapperboard and says, “Scene 52, take 1.”
the clapperboard and says, “Scene 52, take 1.”
When Collette yells “action!” I jump on my board and head down the “street” toward the cones with Tony the Alien chasing after me. My mind starts chanting,
Don't mess up, don't mess up, don't mess up, don't mess
âThe first cone I hit sends me flying into the street, which doesn't feel so fake upon impact.
Don't mess up, don't mess up, don't mess up, don't mess
âThe first cone I hit sends me flying into the street, which doesn't feel so fake upon impact.
“Cut!” Collette runs over to me. “You okay, champ?”
impact
Even though I don't feel like a champ, I tell her I'm fine and watch the prop guys set up the course again.
And again.
And again.
Collette doesn't seem worried and tries to ease the tension with a
few jokes. But when the purplehaired assistant is about to yell “Scene 52, take 9,” Colette decides we need a five-minute break.
few jokes. But when the purplehaired assistant is about to yell “Scene 52, take 9,” Colette decides we need a five-minute break.
I look up to Matt and Carly, who wave enthusiastically, ignoring the fact that I've blown the last eight takes.
Tony walks over to me with his arms outstretched like a monster. I appreciate his effort, but joking around doesn't dent my stress level.
“Are your friends making you nervous?” Collette asks. “Do you want them to wait for you somewhere else?”
I tell her it's not them; it's me.
“You remember the other day when you let your mind get the best of you, worrying about all the ways you could screw up?” Tony asks.
“It's not my imaginationâI
am
messing up!”
am
messing up!”
He shakes his scaly head. “We
all
have negative thoughts. Overcoming them is what separates pros like us from the rest.”
all
have negative thoughts. Overcoming them is what separates pros like us from the rest.”
Tony's very generous to include me in his league of professionals. “I certainly don't feel like a pro now.”
league
Underneath the green rubber, his eyes are serious. “The big secret is that
nobody
feels like a pro, not even me, and I've been doing this for fifteen years!” He points to his scaly temple. “It's all up hereâatways has been, always will be. Remember, parkour means getting around obstacles. That's something you'll be doing your whole life, so you might as well get used to it.”
nobody
feels like a pro, not even me, and I've been doing this for fifteen years!” He points to his scaly temple. “It's all up hereâatways has been, always will be. Remember, parkour means getting around obstacles. That's something you'll be doing your whole life, so you might as well get used to it.”
Collette raises her hand to hold
off the group of people waiting to ask her questions and tells me to take a few minutes for myself.
off the group of people waiting to ask her questions and tells me to take a few minutes for myself.
Matt runs over, his pockets full of candy bars. “Carly and I are going to go snoop around another part of the set. I've seen you slalom a thousand times. I don't need to watch you again.”
“I'm not messing up because you're watching me.” I didn't want to tell the others what's bothering me, but I tell Matt. “Suppose I lose Frank because of Swifty? Suppose the woman takes him and I never see him again?”
“That's not going to happen.” Matt bites off a giant chunk of chocolate bar. “Dude, you saved him today. It was downright heroic. Slaloming down a fake street? Piece of cake!”
Collette approaches and asks if I'm ready to go. Tony comes over too, and Collette shudders when she feels his alien skin.
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