Mr. Big (12 page)

Although it was a cold rain, she enjoyed the walk to the grocery store. And even though she felt like taking her time to enjoy the excursion, the girls were a constant thought.

By the time she reached the checkout, she was anxious to get home. Fortunately, the rain had stopped by the time she left the store, and she made a brisk walk back to the apartment.

By the time she reached the apartment, she was out of breath, both from nearly jogging home, and her anxiety to make sure everything was okay with the girls.

When the door opened, Krista ran to her, and Jennifer knew right away—something wasn't right. Karen was nowhere to be seen, but the sight in front of Jennifer was unimaginable. The two potties were side by side in the hallway. It looked like one of the girls had taken a poop in her potty. But very little of the feces remained in the little pink pot. It was smeared across the walls. When Karen walked into the hallway, Jennifer realized it was in her hair, her clothes, and she had tracked it through the apartment.

“Nelson,” she yelled. “What happened here, my son?”

“I don't know what they were doing,” he sang out from the bedroom.

She asked Karen and Krista what had happened. No response.

Jennifer dropped the bags and began the process of cleaning up. First she put Karen into the bathtub and washed her from head to toe. Then she started in on the apartment, cleaning the potties first. But as she began washing the walls, she made a disturbing realization.

In many places, the feces was smeared almost to the height of the pictures on the walls.

One thing she knew for sure. The girls hadn't made this mess without some help from someone a lot taller than they were.

36

Nelson insisted he knew nothing about what had happened to the potties, or how a two-year-old's poop ended up being smeared five feet up the wall. But pursuing it any further wasn't worth it. The mood swings were intense.

“How's your sister Susan getting on at the fish plant in Prince Edward Island?” he asked her one day.

“They're doing all right,” said Jennifer, wondering where the conversation was going.

“We should move up there. I wonder if she could get us jobs,” he suggested.

Jennifer felt like they had just gotten settled in from their move back from St. John's, but maybe a change would do them good.

After a couple of conversations with her sister, they were pretty much guaranteed work. By April they had packed up their belongings once again and headed to PEI. Nelson wanted to get away from the shame of being in a mental institution, and Jennifer was looking forward to seeing her sister. Also, this was a chance to start making some money instead of living on welfare.

Their apartment was good, and it didn't take Jennifer long to find a sitter for the kids. The wages at the fish plant were good and the work was fairly easy. As the lobsters came down the line, Jennifer and Nelson pulled off the antennae. It seemed easy enough, but after three days Nelson was complaining that he was having pains. By day four, he quit.

And even though Jennifer was willing to continue on, circumstances wouldn't allow it.

Every day she would come home from work to find Karen and Krista were stomach sick. At first she thought it might be just a change in diet, but a visit to the doctor revealed that the girls were having a tough time being separated from their mother for the first time.

That sealed it. They were moving home. This time, instead of packing, Nelson decided the best thing to do was to sell off their furniture to make the return trip a little easier.

37

May 2002.

Moving back to Newfoundland wasn't going to be as easy as their previous moves, Jennifer soon learned.

Social services made it quite clear that they had to be living in the province for at least thirty days before they could qualify for any type of assistance. Everything they owned was in the trunk.

Not knowing where to turn, Jennifer went to the place she knew would never turn her away: the Salvation Army.

“I don't know what to do,” she explained to the Captain. “We've spent all our money on the trip here, and we can't move in with Nelson's mother. Can you help us?”

“Of course, we would do anything to ensure those girls aren't on the street,” he replied. “We have an arrangement with a motel operator here in town who can let you stay there. We'll give you some food, but that's about all we can promise right now.”

The officer went and made a very brief phone call. He turned to Jennifer and said, “One week. The room is only available for seven nights.”

It wasn't a permanent solution, but it would help for now. Jennifer and Nelson drove to the motel and brought the girls inside. Nelson walked in, had a brief look around, and was gone. For the next seven nights he slept there, but during the days Jennifer had no idea what he was up to. All the while, she worried about where they would go when they had to leave.

Both Jennifer's parents were willing to have them move in until the month was up, but Nelson wanted no part of it.

“I don't want you and the girls going down there,” he said.

Jennifer felt like Nelson didn't want her going anywhere these days. She stayed at the hotel and tried to figure out where they would go.

“Mervin, how are you doing?” Jennifer asked. Nelson's brother had helped her many times, and she hoped he would be there again.

“I'm doing good. More importantly, how are you and the girls? Mom told me you guys were back from PEI. Is Nelson having any of his moods these days?”

Jennifer replied, “To be honest, we don't see much of him, Mervin, and I can't say I really care. Our problem now is that in a couple of days we aren't going to have anywhere to live, and Nelson don't care one bit.”

“I'm sick of the way my brother is treating you and those girls,” said Mervin. “I can't say I want him around, but you know you and those girls are always welcome at this house.”

Jennifer was relieved. But when she told Nelson, he was mad.

“I don't need his help,” yelled Nelson. “What's going on with the two of you, anyway? You know what I thinks? I thinks Mervin wants you. I think he wants you and those girls. Perfect little ready-made family.”

When the day came to leave the motel, Nelson managed to put aside his jealousy. The family made the drive to Horwood. Jennifer was happy to be in the company of someone who would look out for her and the kids. But that didn't last long. Nelson quickly started putting pressure on Jennifer to go back to Gander and work on getting social assistance back in place. So she left the girls with Mervin.

But her attempts were futile, and after just a couple of days the family was back in the car. This time they would make the journey to Wesleyville to stay with Jennifer's father.

Again, she was glad to be with someone she loved. Someone who loved and cared for her.

“Jennifer, there's something wrong with Nelson,” her father told her. “Sometimes he makes me afraid. Are you sure you're okay?”

“We're fine,” she lied. “He's gone most of the time, anyway. Once we get this apartment, everything will be okay.” Her dad was always worried about the little things, and Jennifer didn't take his concerns seriously.

For the first two days at her father's, Nelson continued to make himself scarce. The house had three bedrooms and was plenty comfortable for Karen and Krista. But there were few words to describe Jennifer's mental state. Nelson's mood swings were constant, whenever he was around. She was tired. They had been on the move for a month and a half. Bouncing from one province to another. From one town to another. All the while, taking care of two very energetic two-year-olds.

One afternoon, when Jennifer was making tea for her father, Nelson burst through the door.

“I heard you fellows talking about me,” he screamed. “I don't have to take this.” Jennifer and her father exchanged a knowing glance. They had not been talking about Nelson. In fact, they had been sitting in silence. But that didn't stop the verbal attack Nelson made against her father. He continued his tantrum until he fled out the door.

Jennifer had very little to say about the incident. She knew that her father might very well be right to worry about the situation.

Four hours later, Nelson walked back in as if nothing had happened.

“Do you know where I was?” he announced as he plopped into a chair at the kitchen table. Jennifer's father had already left the house to run some errands.

“I was at the cemetery this whole time. Just sitting there.”

Jennifer ignored him and decided to check on the girls.

From behind her he said, “Pack the clothes. The apartment is ready in Gander. Come on, lets go.”

Jennifer was excited to hear the apartment was ready, but it was late in the day. Gander was a three-hour drive, and it would be tough on the girls. But she packed their bags, said her goodbyes, and they were off.

38

The drive to Gander was taking forever. Nelson was driving slower than usual, and the sky was starting to darken. Jennifer sat back and chose not to open her mouth. If she did mention it, he'd probably drive even slower.

Finally, when they did get to Gander, Nelson wanted to go shopping.

“I'm not going anywhere, except to the apartment to get the girls straightened away,” she argued. The travelling was taking its toll on everyone, and Jennifer just wanted to rest her head in her own apartment before dark.

“I don't think the apartment is ready,” said Nelson.

Silence. There was nothing to say. It was too much to even begin to understand.

“You're telling me that we drove in here tonight and we don't have anywhere to stay?” Jennifer yelled. The girls started to cry, seeing their mother so upset. Jennifer put her thoughts together once more.

“Call your mother,” she said.

“No. She don't want to see me, and I don't want to see her,” said Nelson. “We're going to sleep in the car.”

“Oh my God!” Jennifer cried. “What the hell are we going to do? Those girls are not going to be sleeping in this car!”

After a few moments, Jennifer asked Nelson to drive her to the mall. She got out of the car, went inside, and found a pay phone.

“You have to help me,” Jennifer told Tammy, her social worker, over the phone. “He's brought me to Gander, and he expects us to sleep in the car.”

“Meet me at the airport in ten minutes.”

Jennifer climbed back into the car with Nelson and told him to drive to the airport.

Tammy told her she would meet her there, along with an RCMP officer.

When Nelson stopped, Jennifer got out and walked over to Tammy's car. The police officer asked Jennifer to sit inside so they could talk.

“What are your options?” Tammy asked her.

“Well, I don't really have any, that's why I called you. Can you get us an apartment, and some money?” Jennifer asked.

“Like we said, you're going to have to wait. Right now our concern is with you and the girls—not Nelson. Who can we call? Is there anyone in your family?”

“I guess you could call Nelson's brother Mervin,” she said.

Tammy began pushing the buttons as Jennifer read the phone number from her address book. She could hear her brother-in-law as he picked up the phone, and she listened as Tammy asked him whether he could help.

Tammy hung up. “Mervin has agreed to take you and the girls, but he doesn't want his brother.”

Jennifer wasn't surprised. “Nelson won't be happy about this.”

“Let's talk to Nelson,” said the RCMP officer as he opened the door.

“Look, Mr. Hart, we have a bit of a situation here,” he stated, as Nelson stared into his lap. “You don't have any money to feed your family. You don't even have a roof to put over their heads tonight. Your brother doesn't want you in his house, but he is willing to take care of your family. My suggestion is that you give them a ride to Mervin's house, where they'll be comfortable and safe.”

Jennifer could see the anger in Nelson's eyes. Suddenly, he pulled a wallet from his pocket. To Jennifer's amazement he brought forward a Capital One credit card.

“I've got money to put them in a hotel tonight. They ain't going with Mervin this night.”

The social worker gave Jennifer her contact information, and then drove away.

At least she and the girls would have a pillow for tonight.

Tomorrow they would make the three-hour drive back to Wesleyville—back to Jennifer's father—to wait.

39

June 2002.

The move to Edgewood Apartments number 311 would be one of the easiest Jennifer had ever made.

There was no furniture. Nelson had sold everything before they came home from Prince Edward Island. Everything they owned was in the car: a few bags of clothes and the girls' stroller.