Mr. Big (11 page)

Nelson went into the room, and for a minute Jennifer was worried he wouldn't answer. Another rap on the door, and finally Nelson came out of the room with the money in his hand. He opened the door and reluctantly passed them the cash. After a stern warning about the crime he had committed, they left.

31

After Christmas had passed and winter set in, Nelson was spending more and more time around the apartment. Jennifer was glad to see he wasn't gambling, but it wasn't easy having him around all the time.

He didn't have much of a relationship with Karen and Krista, but more often these days they were crying whenever he was around them. In fact, Jennifer was starting to get suspicious he was intentionally making them cry.

She was doing dishes one evening when she heard one of the girls start to cry very suddenly.

“Nelson, what's going on with the girls?” she asked as she walked into the living room.

“I don't know, they're just cranky, I suppose.”

“Daddy pinch,” said Krista.

The girls were in the playpen, and Nelson was just a couple of feet away on the couch.

Jennifer sized up the situation and went back to the dishes. These days there were a lot of outbursts from the girls while they were in the living room with Nelson. She thought “Daddy pinch” could very well be a possibility.

She grabbed two plates and began hitting them together, as if she were drying them off. Then, slowly, she watched from around the corner at Nelson and the girls, hoping he wouldn't notice her.

For a while the girls were busy jumping up and down. They laughed and bounced, until Nelson reached out with his left hand to pinch Krista first. As soon as she shrieked, he pinched Karen.

Jennifer watched in disbelief.

“You can't do that to those girls,” yelled Jennifer as she came out from behind the corner.

Caught in the act. Yet he didn't say a word, while Jennifer screamed at him. Instead, he grabbed his jacket and left.

32

Life in St. John's wasn't getting any easier for Jennifer. Her family remained in Gander, and the city life definitely wasn't for her.

It was difficult getting around with two energetic two-year-olds, and she no longer felt safe at the apartment.

“I'm moving back to Gander,” she announced one day in March. She knew Nelson didn't want to leave St. John's, but she no longer cared. “If you don't want to go, you can stay here. Me and the girls will go back on our own.”

Child services required she contact them, so the next morning she was on the phone to let them know. By lunchtime, there was a knock on the door.

“Hi, Jennifer, we'd like to talk for a moment.”

She invited the social workers in, but she knew there was no use in them trying to convince her to stay.

The lady who did all the talking was someone Jennifer had never met before, but she seemed friendly enough.

“Jennifer, we are here because we want to make sure you are making the best decision for the girls. Where are you going?” she asked.

“I have to go back to Gander. I don't like the fast pace here in St. John's, and I think Gander would be a safer environment.”

“What about food? Has Nelson been giving you money?”

Jennifer responded, “Yes he has. We're fine.”

“Well, that's difficult to believe, considering everything we've witnessed over the past few months. We have to look out for those girls. We will be in touch as soon as you are settled into the new apartment back in Gander.”

Before the social worker left, she was required to write an explanation of why the girls were being moved.

“To provide a better environment for the kids,” was written on the form. A week later, Jennifer had secured another apartment in Gander, and the family was packing up to move once again.

33

Edgewood Apartments weren't as nice as the home Jennifer had gotten used to in St. John's, but she didn't care. Number 204 was home. Gander was home, and she was thankful to have some family around for support. Of course, child services were there right away, and she took comfort in knowing that they'd be making sure they wouldn't have to do without. But life with Nelson wasn't about to get any easier.

He was never at home anymore. Jennifer felt like he was becoming more interested in living a single life without her and the kids. While they had enough food to get by, he controlled the money. And she believed that most of it was going into the slot machines.

Mervin showed up for a visit. After a few games with the girls, he gave Jennifer $50 and told her to go buy some groceries. But upon leaving, he called Jennifer to say that he had spotted Nelson after he left the apartment. Nelson was sitting in his car at the local Kentucky Fried Chicken eating his meal, while her girls had nothing. She knew Mervin had just about had enough.

Then there were the pills. She made sure he was taking his seizure medication, but she noticed how fast the painkillers were disappearing lately. There were no grand mal seizures these days, but Nelson continued having partial seizures. Most of the time, he tried to hide them. Sometimes she'd catch him patting his stomach in the bathroom, and he would deny that he was having a seizure. Jennifer knew differently.

But it was the pain medication that was starting to make Jennifer nervous.

“My stomach is hurting,” he announced one afternoon out of the blue. “I'm going over to the hospital. Come with me.”

Nelson appeared to be fine, but, as usual, Jennifer agreed. They packed the kids into the car and headed to the emergency. Not once did she hear him complain about his bad stomach along the way, but things changed once they got to the hospital.

“Nelson Hart,” came the announcement from the overhead speaker. The family went into Dr. Jenson's office.

Suddenly, Jennifer watched as Nelson's pain became more intense and he pleaded with the doctor for something to help.

“This is a very low dose of morphine,” said Dr. Jenson. “I hope this helps, Mr. Hart. Call my office tomorrow if you have any problems.”

Jennifer watched as Nelson calmed down.

“I'm sure I got something wrong with me,” Nelson said as they drove home. “I got cancer and you fellows are all hiding it.”

“Nelson, you don't have cancer, my son,” said Jennifer. “The doctors have all looked you over, and you've had plenty of tests done. Stop worrying about it.”

Nelson was okay for the next few days, but it wasn't long before he started complaining about a headache.

Jennifer had a good idea that the headache was just another reason to look for more pain medications. Sure enough, in less than a week he was headed back to the hospital. This time, she wasn't interested in going with him.

Instead, she chose to spend some quality time at home with the girls without having to worry about Nelson or his mood swings.

She fixed a nice lunch, and she and the girls watched some television. When Karen and Krista got bored with watching Barney, she pulled out their favourite chair. It was an old office chair, but the girls loved having Mom spin them around until they were dizzy.

They were laughing when the phone rang. It was Dr. Jenson.

“We've got a problem over here,” he explained. “Nelson came in here complaining about pain, and we were giving him a small dose of morphine with intravenous. A couple of minutes in, he started asking for you. We told him he would have to wait,” he explained. “Jennifer, he ripped out the IV and said he was going home. He yelled at our receptionist and told her he believed he has cancer, and that we're hiding it.”

Jennifer sat down. She could feel that there was going to be a lot more to this story.

“That's when he told the receptionist that he was going to go home and blow his brains out. Are you there?”

“I'm listening,” she replied.

“We had no choice but to call the police,” he explained. “Now we don't know where Nelson is, but the police are on their way to your apartment.”

It wasn't long after the police showed up.

“Do you have any firearms in the house?” they asked. “Or do you know of any place he could find a gun tonight? We're taking his threat very seriously.”

“The only person I know with a gun would be his mother's boyfriend,” Jennifer told them.

The police left shortly after, and the phone rang.

“I don't know why you guys are hiding the fact that I have cancer,” said Nelson.

“Where are you, Nelson? The police were just here looking for you.” Jennifer couldn't recall ever hearing Nelson sounding so scared.

“I'm not telling you,” he said. “I saw the police there, and I'm not coming home. I'm going to St. John's, and I'm going to get the doctors there to tell me the truth about the cancer.”

And Nelson stayed true to his word and drove to St. John's.

The next time Jennifer would talk to Nelson, he was in St. John's. He went to the hospital, just as he had said he would. But it didn't take the police long to catch up with him. In the parking lot of the Health Sciences Centre, he was arrested and brought to the Waterford Hospital, where he would receive an evaluation of his mental condition.

Jennifer was concerned, but she was also relieved. Without Nelson around, there was less work and less to worry about. There were no outbursts and no fights that dragged on for hours. After a few days, she started getting used to the peace and quiet.

Until one afternoon, when she heard footsteps in the hallway: pacing back and forth. The footsteps didn't stop, and she became curious. That's when she heard the key in the door and realized Nelson had been released from the hospital and was home.

He walked in without a word to either Jennifer or the girls. There was no excitement in this homecoming. The twins didn't even acknowledge him entering the room. He walked on into the bedroom, where he slept for most of the afternoon.

The fun and laughter of the past few days drifted away. Jennifer waited to see what would happen next.

34

When Nelson woke, Jennifer knew that he was getting ready to go out. She didn't know where he was going, and she didn't care. These days she just assumed he was going to the bar to spend the day in front of the slot machines. She highly doubted he was capable of becoming involved with another woman.

Over the next few days, he was quieter than usual. He was also becoming agitated.

“People knows I was in the Waterford,” he said. “I knows they're all talking about me.”

Jennifer ignored him, but she could see that he always had something on his mind these days.

But today there was work to be done, and as usual Nelson would be no help. She got the girls ready and headed to the mail. She was looking forward to getting her family allowance. The monthly social assistance cheque was gone, and she needed the money. She found her bank card and called the number on the back to make sure the money was in her account.

Her balance was fifty cents.

“Nelson,” she yelled. “I don't know what we're going to do, but for some reason the family allowance cheque isn't in the bank. That should have been there yesterday, and I know everyone else got theirs.”

“That's not your money. That's my money to spend however I want,” he told her.

“The cheque is in my name,” she replied. “That's my money for me and the girls.”

“Not anymore,” he said.

While Nelson had been in St. John's, he had gone to the bank. Forging Jennifer's signature, he had switched the direct deposit so that the money went to his personal account.

Jennifer had no choice but to go to the welfare office. For the next two days she had to explain her situation time and again to several different people. Finally, they gave her an emergency payment of $75.

35

“They all thinks I'm crazy,” Nelson said. “Everyone knows I was in the Waterford, and now they're all looking at me strange.”

Jennifer was getting sick of hearing it. Even though he was rarely home, all he ever talked about was the way people were looking at him. That, or he was complaining that he needed more painkillers.

“We need groceries, Nelson. Can you stop talking about this stuff and go to the store for me?”

“You go,” he said.

Jennifer was surprised. Nelson always did the shopping. In fact, he hated for her to go anywhere, especially alone.

“Well, I'm not taking the girls out in this rain,” she said.

“Leave them here with me,” Nelson suggested.

Jennifer could hardly believe what she was hearing. In fact, she figured this was probably the first time in the girls' short lives that he had offered to spend time with them alone. She could only speculate that his suspicions were getting the better of him.

She wasn't a hundred per cent confident in leaving the twins alone with him, but she needed food. And going to the store alone with money in her pockets was a rare occasion.