Mosquito Chase (23 page)

The world was cruel. My father died at the hands of war. My fiancé died because of the greed of drugs. Death had always surrounded me. I’d always had to learn how to live without the people I loved. I’d pushed Caleb away because of fear. I knew I was toxic in this world, but never once did I believe my son would end up a casualty of my poisoned life. I never got a chance to protect him. When he was born, I was relieved in knowing he would be okay. He wouldn’t be a victim anymore because he was no longer inside of me. But he ended up being a victim because of me. Nothing mattered until my son was safe. The only way to keep Simon and Caleb safe was to destroy the poison.

I glanced at Caleb out the corner of my eye. He hugged the country roads with precision and speed. I silently exhaled. I loved him with every piece of my broken heart. I couldn’t ruin his life the way I’d ruined everyone else’s. It would kill me in the end, but death was the only way to stop this disease – the disease that was me.

“Are you going to fill me in?” I asked, breaking the silence.

Caleb reached over and grabbed my hand. I held on to him tightly. He was my strength. Only with his guidance would I find the courage to do what must be done. I just had to remind myself that it was for the best. The toxin needed to be purged.

“I will,” he said softly. “I just wanted to get you settled first.”

I glanced around at my surroundings and said, “Well, this is the wrong direction, so why don’t you start with telling me where we’re going.”

He sighed. This wasn’t going to end well.

“I’m taking you to the McCloud Farm.”

I yanked my hand out of his grip. His hand fisted in midair and then came to rest on the steering wheel.

“Baby—”

“I think bringing me to stay with the man who took my virginity and his perfect little family is a great idea.” Apparently, I was to serve my penance
before
I went into the bowels of hell.

“Ang—”

“Oh my God! Why don’t you invite Lance and his family over too? But let’s not stop there! Invite Steven! We can all crack jokes about his small dick. Maybe he can bring over Tabitha so you can experience what I have to go through.”

“I had no other options, Angie.”

I couldn’t even argue with Caleb. I knew there was no changing his mind.

“You know,” I breathed. “I really don’t care. I just want my son back.”

“Baby, please don’t be mad at me.”

“I understand you’re doing what you have to do, Caleb. I get that. It doesn’t mean that I have to like it.” I sighed and closed my eyes. “Can you just tell me where my son is?”

“We don’t know where he is.”

“So, he could be halfway to Mexico by now.”

“No. He’s not.”

I opened my eyes and looked at him. “How do you know? You said you didn’t know where he is.”

“They want to exchange him for you.”

I stared at him, his face frozen in a permanent frown. My soul felt split in two. I tore my eyes away and stared at the barren road and steeled my will. This was what had to be done.

“When?”

“The note said two weeks.”

“What note?”

“They left a note for you at Paul’s.”

“What did it say?”

He pulled his phone out of his jacket pocket, swiped to unlock it, and then handed it to me. I clicked the photos app and a picture of a note written from a typewriter popped up on the screen:
We will exchange the baby for Angela at Conley Creek, Lake Rhodhiss at 7:00pm, on New Year’s Eve. The Feds won’t help you, don’t even try.

“Good to know that the FBI doesn’t care. Do you think they have someone on the inside? Was that why the CIA was involved instead of the FBI?”

“Quite possibly, yes.”

I tapped on the picture and it minimized. The text message app had a little red bubble beside it, a new text alert. I went in and clicked, hoping to find out any information I could, but the message was from Ellie, sent early this morning, before hell took over.

Ellie:
Here are some of the better pictures from this morning.                            Let me know which one you think Angie would like best and                                I’ll get it printed out for y’all.

Ellie attached ten different pictures. They all looked about the same. The last one showed Caleb and me smiling at each other with Simon in my arms. I covered my mouth to hold in the sob, but it came out anyway.

“What’s wrong?” Caleb slowed the car.

I shook my head and handed him the phone. He glanced between the screen and the road several times and then shoved the phone back in his pocket. My tears kept falling, but I remained as quiet as possible as I stared out the passenger window. He reached over for my hand. I tried pulling it away but he squeezed it tight inside his.

“I promise you. We
will
be a family. I won’t let anything happen to you or Simon.”

“No.” I pulled my hand away to wipe my cheeks, staring forward.

“No? What do you mean no?”

“You need to realize that I’m not going to be a part of this little dream that you have. The sooner you realize it, the easier everything will be.”

He turned onto a gravel road. The car stopped in front of a deep green farm house with a wrap-around porch. Ellie’s car was parked alongside Tom’s old truck and some modest SUV. Two small rocking chairs nestled in between two normal sized rockers. I mean, really. How much could a single person take in one day? This was a nightmare. I hadn’t been inside this house in ten years. I was fine spending the rest of my life never having to set foot in this place again.

“I’m going to get your son back. We are going to be a family.”

I just shook my head at him. He tried to help me with my seatbelt, but I was at the point where I couldn’t take it anymore. I snapped.

“I don’t want you helping me. Get Ellie.”

“Angie, you don’t have to worry about Jordan.”

“It’s not Jordan I’m worried about.” I looked over at him. “It’s your stupid friends I’m worried about. Do you realize that Paul was the only one that was nice to me? Not Tom, not Lance … not even you. I have much bigger problems to deal with besides the men who avoided the tainted slut that is Angela Butler.” I stared at the darkness in front of me. I couldn’t look at him. I would break down if I looked at him. “Get Ellie and then go find my son.”

A brush of cold swept through the car followed by the slam of the door. Even though it was the reaction I wanted, I still jumped at the sound of Caleb being ripped away from my life. I couldn’t give him time to adjust to my vanishing from his life forever. He needed to accept the separation now. It would be easier in the long run.

My door opened and I glanced up at Ellie and saw my mother standing behind her. I tensed from the force of the brisk wind.

“Let’s get you inside.” Ellie wrapped her arm under mine. My mother grabbed my other hand. Together they guided me. I winced slightly, but couldn’t really feel any pain. I couldn’t really feel anything. I’d lost my son. I’d lost Caleb. I was numb.

Once I was steady on my feet, Ellie asked, “You got this?”

I nodded and easily moved with them.

The four wooden steps up to the porch were a challenge. Paul stood off to the side with Caleb. He moved to help, but Ellie held out her hand to stop him. Paul obeyed and took his place beside Caleb. I glanced over at Caleb with his back turned as he stood facing out over the farm; his arms were crossed in front of him, one hand covering his mouth. Paul whispered something to him and Caleb shook his head, removing his hand to reply. The slight shake of his hand caused me to turn my eyes away; I couldn’t bear to see what I was doing to him. I looked at the approaching door and then stopped. My mother and Ellie stopped with me.

A tall, slender woman wearing skinny jeans and a cardigan stood in front of me. Her hands were clasped in front of her, her long brown hair hanging over each shoulder, and her eyes as timid as my trust. I hadn’t seen her since I fled for Atlanta. This was a small town. I’d assumed I would eventually run into her, I just didn’t expect it to be in her own house.

“Hey,” Jordan said. “Tom’s upstairs with the girls so you don’t have to worry about him tonight.” She stepped aside, offering me her home. “Ellie and I thought it would be best to just keep us girls around.”

I stopped in front of her and nodded slowly. “Please don’t tell me that Katherine is joining us as well.”

Jordan glanced at Ellie, and then Ellie turned her head toward me. “Lance and Katherine are coming into town tomorrow for the holidays, but they won’t come here unless you’re comfortable with it.”

I nodded. Jordan led us through the living room and past the open kitchen. She turned into an opening, and we followed her into a bedroom. The decor matched the neutral color tones of the house with pops of blue accents. A dresser rested below a flat screen, and there was a bookshelf nestled in the corner. A brown recliner flanked the other side of the window.

“This room has its own bathroom and the girls know not to come in here, so there shouldn’t be any crushed up crayons in the rug. At least, I hope not.”

I eased myself down to sit on the edge of the bed. I stared up at the three of them. They stared back, full of concern, like I was about to break.

“I’m okay, y’all,” I said as I shoved my hand inside the pocket of my hoodie and pulled out a medicine bottle. “I have these.” I shook the bottle, rattling the pills for effect. It was funny how all of this started because of drugs, and now I was relying on them to get through whatever kind of hell I’d fallen into.

“El, can you give us a minute?” Jordan whispered.

Ellie nodded and turned to my mother. “Mrs. Butler, let me show you around the house.”

Ellie and my mother left me alone in a room with Jordan McCloud.
God, just take me now.

“Tom wants to talk to you,” she started. “He just recently filled me in about all that happened between you two. I’d briefly heard some version of the story in the past, but with Paul setting a few things straight…” She shook her head. “I just want you to know that I called my husband an asshole.”

I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. I clasped my hands together on my lap, still laughing. “Well, thank you, I think.”

“He was dumb and immature.”

“Let him tell me.” She stopped and nodded as I continued, “He’s changed since you came around. And I’m glad that y’all are happy. I really am. I know you went through your own drama a few years ago. I would never wish that on my worst enemy. That includes Tom.”

“I appreciate that.”

“Lance is a different story.”

Jordan laughed.

“If I can get along with Ellie, I think you and I will be fine.”

She smiled and said, “I think so too. And who cares about stupid boys anyway?”

“Exactly.” I smiled.

“I’m going to let you rest. Just let me know if you need anything.” Jordan turned to leave.

“Jordan?”

She stopped.

“Thank you for letting me stay here.”

“It was never a question. You’re always welcome in my home.” She smiled again and left me alone.

I stared blankly at the beige rug, and then at the bottle of painkillers in my hand. I really didn’t want to resort to taking these, but for one night, I needed to sleep it all away. I opened the cap and popped two in my mouth, swallowing without water. I cleared my throat and forced them down. Not a pleasant aftertaste. I’d ask mom to get me some water when she came back. I placed the bottle on the nightstand. My phone vibrated in my pocket.

The screen brightened with a text from Caleb. I put the phone down beside me and sighed. I wanted to push him away, but I still needed him. I picked up the phone and swiped open the message. It was the picture Ellie took at the hospital, the one of Caleb hovering over Simon and I. The words attached had me second-guessing everything.

Caleb:
I’m not done trying yet.

Every part of me hoped he would never stop.