Mosquito Chase (18 page)

A smile lifted my face.

I opened the door.

Pain.
Searing
pain. I had never been inside a hospital in my life, and here I was, lying in a hospital bed with my stomach ripped open and stitched back together. I wanted to puke. Puking would make me feel better. I kept my eyes closed. The lights were off in the room, but the December sun beamed in from behind the shades. I squeezed my eyes tighter. Drugs. I needed drugs. I exhaled out of my mouth and opened my eyes.

I have a son
.

Tears formed in my eyes. As much as I cared for Caleb, I wished Simon could be here to see his son. I would make sure that Simon was a part of our son’s life. I would never stop loving Simon, but there was a man out there who loved me. I needed to stop kidding myself. I loved him, too. I wanted him to be a part of my life. I wanted him to be a part of my son’s life. There was just one thing I had to do.

The doorknob turned slowly. My eyes trained forward in hopes that drugs were on the other side. The light from the hall blinded me for a moment, but when I saw a cop standing in front of me with the proudest grin on his face, everything inside me relaxed and my heart warmed with happiness. He was the only drug I needed. My smiled matched his as I looked upon him standing in the doorway. A blissful eternity passed between us, an eternity that I adored.

He stepped inside and shut the door behind him. Our eyes never broke away. I could stare at him forever. He reached the side of my bed and bent over me, pressing his lips to my forehead.

“You did so good, baby.” He kissed my forehead again, then my cheek. His eyes opened a few inches away from mine. My hand lifted slowly and I glided my fingertips down his face. He nuzzled my hand, kissing my palm. I pulled him to me and kissed him tenderly.

“You’re a mom. I can’t believe you’re a mom,” he whispered in between kisses.

“And you’re a … umm …” I stopped, not knowing if it was real.

He nodded. “Only if you want me to be. Angie, I’m not going anywhere.” He sighed as his shoulders relaxed. “You
know
how I feel. I think you feel the same. I want to be a part of your life and your son’s life.” He coddled my face with his hand as he hovered over me.

“Simon.”

“I know you still love him. I know you’ll always love him. I know I can’t compete with him, and I’m okay with that. There are also some things we need to talk about regarding Simon, but we’ll get you settled in your room first. It’s nothing that can’t wait.”

“No. I’m naming my son Simon. He needs to have something of his father’s and I have nothing to give him but a name.”

Caleb sat down in the chair beside me. He clutched both of my hands inside his. “I think that’s the best thing you could give him. It would make Simon proud.” He rubbed my knuckles and asked, “How are you feeling?”

“Like I got ripped open.” I chuckled.

“Can I get you anything?”

I shook my head and closed my eyes.

“Do you want me to go so you can sleep?” I shook my head and squeezed his hand tighter.

“Did he look okay? They showed him to me, but I was concentrating on not throwing up,” I said.

“He’s a beautiful boy. Do you still feel sick?”

I nodded, keeping my eyes closed. “I just want to make sure he’s okay.”

“He’s beautiful, Angie. His hair is light, but not as light as yours.”

“I wonder if he’ll have brown eyes or blue eyes.”

“Maybe both. One of each.”

I laughed and shook my head. “This is surreal.”

We sat and talked for almost an hour as I rested away the nausea. Caleb smiled the entire time, never letting go of my hand. He squeezed it often and I found myself unable to stop looking at him.

“When all this blows over, would ...” He looked away and exhaled. When he looked back, he asked, “Would you and Simon move in with me?”

I pushed the breath out of my lungs slowly, giving myself a moment to think. “That’s a big step. We can move in with my mother.” I saw the dejected look in his eye and added, “I’m not saying no. It’s just a lot for you to take on.”

He nodded as an invisible wall went up between us. I squeezed his hand to get his attention again.

“I want to, Caleb. I just want to make sure you’re ready.” When he started to speak, I cut him off. “I know you think you’re ready, but besides raising a child, do you think we’re ready? Like you and me? Without the external drama?”

“I think we are, but if you want to take it slow and see how things go, we can do that. We’re going to be at Paul’s house for a while anyway. I have time to convince you.” He winked. I laughed instantly. He brought my hand up to his lips, kissing the back of it. “I love your laugh.”

“Thank you for making me laugh. I wouldn’t have been able to go through any of this without you. I’d probably be dead without you.”

Caleb looked like he wanted to say something but the door opened, bringing our attention to Dr. Cooper walking in, followed by a nurse.

“How is mom feeling?” he asked as the nurse moved around my bed.

“I’m doing well. Ready to see the little guy.” I glanced over at Caleb and could tell he was ready to see him too.

They transported me down the winding hallways on the gurney I’d been laying on for too long. I needed to walk, but that wasn’t an option. The pain was still excruciating but bearable with drugs. I knew I would heal. They left me in a hospital room much bigger than the last one. Caleb sat with me as another nurse came in to check my vitals.

A knock rapped on the door. When it opened, a cute little blond haired boy ran in and jumped on his uncle’s lap. He handed me a blue football that read
It’s a Boy
. Paul and Ellie followed. Another surreal moment. A few months ago, I was more alone than I’d ever been, and now I had a possible family. I hadn’t felt a part of a family since my father died. It was a lot to absorb, but I had never felt more at peace than I did at that moment.

Another knock. I pushed the button on my hospital bed to sit up. Caleb adjusted my pillows and it helped ease the pain.

“Someone’s ready to see you,” a nurse said as she entered, followed by a second nurse, pushing a hospital bassinet. I immediately covered my mouth as tears rolled down my cheeks. Caleb rested his hand on my leg, giving it a squeeze. The nurse scooped little Simon up, swaddled tight. I reached my arms out to hold my son. Ellie pulled out her cell phone and began snapping pictures. So weird to have friends.

Simon eased into my arms, and for the first time in all my life, I felt whole. I had a son. He was my life. Caleb kissed the side of my head and held his arms around us. I leaned into him.

The flash of Ellie’s phone went off. As horrid as I probably looked, I definitely wanted that picture. The amateur photographer kept snapping pictures like crazy. The bed shifted. I looked up at Teague sitting back on his heels near my feet.

“Come meet your new friend,” Caleb said.

Teague eased his way between me and the railing on the bed and asked, “What’s his name?”

“His name is Simon,” I said, gazing back down at my son.

“Simon Harris,” Teague said matter-of-factly. I shifted my eyes to Caleb. He bit his lip, completely unable to conceal his smile, and shrugged his shoulders.

“It’s a good name,” Paul said as he turned to Ellie. “Do you have enough pictures yet?”

“Nope.” She continued snapping away as I looked up at Caleb and he kissed my forehead. I looked back down at Simon. It was perfect. As I looked at the two men in my life, a nagging feeling settled in the back of my head. It was
too
perfect.

There was another knock at the door. I looked up, realizing everyone who knew about my whereabouts was already present. If it had been a nurse, they would have knocked and walked in, but the door remained closed. No one walked in.

I looked up at Caleb. He scooted away to the door, wearing an intimidating cop scowl. He did that well. When he opened the door, his eyes widened and he stepped back.

“Mrs. Butler.”

My heart plummeted when I saw her. How did she know?

She stepped in the room. Everyone’s eyes shifted from me to her, except for Teague who kept his attention on the blue football. She held a vase full of red roses. When she looked at me holding her grandson, her shoulders relaxed. Her hair had lightened a bit over the years, with strands of grey mixed in with her light chestnut color. She was never one for show, preferring to remain natural; a look that suited her. Her simple life was one I didn’t think I could handle, but after the panic of the last nine months, I now envied her simplicity.

“I thought you were in Alaska. I hadn’t heard from you in four months.” Those were the first words I heard from my mother after seeing her for the first time in years.

Silence filled in the empty spaces of tension until Paul stepped forward, breaking the silence. “Teague, let’s go see if we can find Simon a bear. Every boy needs a bear, right?”

Teague scooted down the bed, tucking the football under his arm.

“We’ll come back tomorrow since it’s getting late,” Ellie said, slipping her phone away. “I’ll bring a few of your things, and an outfit for Simon.”

“Thank you, Ellie. I’m really glad you were here today.”

She smiled and nodded as she looked at me and then my mother before leaving the room with her family. When the tense silence returned, I knew I had to say something.

“Mom, I’m glad you’re here. I really am.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that y’all were together?” she asked, looking between Caleb and me.

Caleb looked ready to say something, but I refused to start any lies with my mother. “Simon isn’t Caleb’s, mama.”

Her eyes narrowed, her right eyebrow cocked up in disapproval. I remembered why I wasn’t close with my mother. She disapproved of everything I did.

“Where is the man who got you pregnant, Angela? Why is Caleb here instead?”

“He’s dead, ma’am,” Caleb said, standing up for me. I gazed up at him facing off with my mother. I really did love him. So damn much. My mother stood there, blinking over and over, trying to absorb the whole situation.

“How … how did he die?”

My mouth moved but nothing came out. I looked over at Caleb and his eyes met mine. They filled with sadness as he spoke. “He was a CIA agent. He had gotten too close, and they took him out.”

“Caleb…” My voice echoed like it came from somewhere else. I shook my head with doubt, assumed Caleb was lying to protect my mother from learning Simon’s true nature, but something in Caleb’s eyes made it feel true. It had to be true! I’d always known there was goodness in my former fiancé.

My chest heaved as tears welled in my eyes. I clutched little Simon in my arms and bent over him. Ugly tears rolled down my cheeks, and it felt like watching my fiancé get murdered all over again.

“I knew he was good,” I wept. “I told you he was good.”

Caleb came over and wrapped his arms around me.

“I just found out. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you before, baby.”

I buried my face in his neck and cried. The sound of glass being placed next to me caused me to turn my head. My mother had placed the flowers on the table, standing before me with her vacant arms outstretched. “Let me hold my grandson.”

I let her hold him and I wrapped my arms around Caleb. His hand caressed my back as he spoke soothing words in my ear. “He was good. This would have been his last mission if he’d survived. He was going to be with you. I’m so sorry, Angie.”

Caleb’s hands stopped their soothing circular pattern on my back. He straightened up and looked over at my mother. “Mrs. Butler, how did you know Angie was here?”

She smiled down at her grandson and answered Caleb without looking up. “This is a small town, Caleb. You should know that being a policeman.”

He stared at her for a moment and then dug out his phone, pressing one button. “Devon, I need two guards at the hospital now.” He placed the phone back in his pocket. “If she knows you’re here, then everyone knows.”

The door opened and another nurse came in. “Visiting hours are over and it’s time this little guy went back to the nursery.”