Mosquito Chase (14 page)

I could only nod.

“I’ve never not worn one.”

I nodded again as I let out a moan, thrusting myself against him.

He released one hip and cupped my breast. “God, you feel fucking amazing.”

“I wish we would have done this sooner,” I gasped the words.

He held me close from behind, pressing his face into my back as I straddled him.

“Whatever you need, just take it from me.”

I rested my hands on his thighs, pulsing up and down. His caressing touch traveled along my back and around to my stomach. His fingers grazed the sensitive area where my body became one with his. I bucked forward, decadent passion funneled into the pit of my stomach.

“All of it, baby. Take it all from me. Take it only from me,” he whispered against my back. His lips grazed my shoulders. “That’s it. Fuck me, Angie.”

I gripped his thighs tighter. He cupped my breasts. I interlaced my fingers with his. He was right. This wasn’t just fucking for me. It was so much more than fucking. He gripped my hand tight when the first rush spread through me. I clasped his hand tighter and cried out. My body shook as my head rolled back, a moan escaped my lips. I stilled as my body relaxed, pressing down on top of his, still clenching around him.

Caleb’s breath tickled my back. His hands came to rest on my hips, and he started to ease me up. I shook my head, grabbing his hand.

“No.”

I turned my head until our eyes met. His face was long and grim, full of sadness. My heart broke for him. He needed me. I wanted to need him back, to need his heart the way he seemed to need mine, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to hurt him. Being with him would hurt him, but judging by the solemn expression of his face, not being with him seemed to be hurting him more.

“I still need you.”

His eyes widened. “Are you sure?”

I grazed my fingers up his arm and nodded.

“I can’t just fuck you, Angie.”

I held onto his arm as I eased myself off of him. Turning around, I showed him my all. He focused on my chest and down to my belly. His eyes roamed over my body, locking with mine, full of unknowing hope. I licked my lips and exhaled.

“Then love me.”

I leaned forward and slowly pressed my lips to his. His fingers laced through my hair as my lips parted. His tongue slid against mine. He moaned and wrapped his arm around me, scooting back until he met the pillows. I lifted up and guided him inside me once again. I gasped against his mouth, breaking our kiss, and stared into his eyes. He lifted his hips up to meet mine; his movements achingly slow inside me. He caressed my cheeks, never breaking his gaze. We moved together like we’d done this a thousand times, like we were the ones to perfect the act. I closed my eyes to absorb every feeling pulsing through my body. I had never felt this before. I had never felt so connected. Not since … since …

I opened my eyes. My body slowed with the weight of apprehension. He shook his head and wrapped his arms around me.

“Just you and me, baby.”

His voice echoed in my head. Simon’s voice …

Just a few more weeks and we’ll start somewhere new. Maybe Alaska. Just you and me, baby. We’ll leave this world behind.

Just you and me, baby.

A tear escaped and I shook my head, pressing my fingers over my mouth. Caleb pulled my hand down and coddled my face. He stopped moving, but remained connected to me. His thumb grazed against my cheek, wiping a tear away.

“We’re going to get through this together. I’m not done trying yet. I’ll never be done trying.”

He kissed my lips and held my face in his hands. I pulled out of the kiss and nodded. I leaned my forehead against his and exhaled.

“I’m sorry, Caleb.”

He shook his head, pulling away.

“Don’t ever apologize for that. You gave me more than I could ask for.”

I leaned back to look at him, a better view in the dark grey of the room.

“What did I give you?”

He rested his hand on my belly. His eyes followed its trail between my breasts, to my neck, and up to my eyes.

“Hope, Angie. You gave me hope.”

She lay on her side, snuggling against me for once. I knew she wasn’t fully with me yet, but I was close. I would do whatever it took. I hoped I had proved that to her tonight. She was still here with me, so I must’ve been doing something right.

The thoughts of Simon haunted me as much as they haunted her. This would be a huge hurdle for us, but I would be there for her. I finally understood why my life had taken the twists and turns it had. This whole time, I had been waiting for her. I loved her, but even though I could admit it to myself, I would not complicate the emotions in her heart and the thoughts in her head. I loved her enough to keep that love a secret.

I ran my fingers though her hair and stared at her hand resting against my chest, right over my heart. She had me wrapped around her finger. I hadn’t even been like this with Tabitha, but that was so long ago; I was just a kid then. I never felt for Tabitha what I felt for Angie. I closed my eyes.
Angela
Butler
. In a million years, I would have never guessed that I would’ve fallen in love with her. To love her made me feel whole.

She lifted her head and rolled over to face me. She laid her head against my chest, her eyes filled with caution. I smiled at her beautiful face.

“You okay?” I asked.

She nodded and continued to stare at me. She lifted her hand, hesitated in mid-air, then reached out toward my face, grazing her fingers down my cheek. I leaned into her touch and closed my eyes. I placed a hand over hers and held it against my face, kissing her palm.

I scooted back, making her sit up. She tried to move her hand away from me, but I reached for it, taking it firmly in my own. She paused and looked at me. I leaned forward and kissed her slowly, evoking all I wanted to say. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer to me. She tilted her head, deepening our kiss. I grazed my hand down her bare chest and rested it on her belly. I wanted her to know that I was all in. He was a part of her, and that was okay. I wanted to be included in that. Maybe I couldn’t tell her, but I could show her. I would continue to show her. She just had to let me in.

I pulled away and pecked her lips. “Why don’t I run you a bath and then I can fix you that peanut butter sandwich?”

She sighed and looked away.

“What’s wrong?”

“I … I don’t want to leave you yet.”

I kissed her and said, “But it’s peanut butter.”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine.” She started to move away, but I pulled her back and kissed her again.

“You know, you don’t ever have to leave me.”

She nodded. “I know. Everything’s just so jumbled in my head.”

“I don’t want to make it worse, but I’m not going anywhere. I’m with you. Okay?” I kissed her forehead and left her in the bed.

• • •

We sat around the kitchen table eating peanut butter sandwiches and drinking hot chocolate. I still hadn’t officially questioned her about Simon, but I hated the thought of bringing him up after what just happened. Maybe if I talked it out with her, it would help the healing process. I really didn’t know how to approach it, but I had a job to do. I needed to protect her.

“Did you ever meet any of Simon’s family?” I broke the comfortable silence, immediately putting her on edge. She stopped chewing her food and her eyes met mine.

I shrugged slightly and added, “You’re going to have his son. Does he have any family that would care to know?”

She swallowed her bite and placed her half eaten sandwich on the plate. She stared across the table, searching for the right words. “The only family he ever mentioned was the uncle who had died and left him the club. He never even told me what his name was. I never really asked about his family because I never wanted to start a conversation about mine. My mother wasn’t really a part of my life after my father died. She kind of just checked out. Even though my father was away most of the time, he was the glue that held us together. I never wanted to talk about my father with Simon. I didn’t know why. I never wanted to talk about him with anyone …” She looked down. “Except you, I guess.”

Just hearing her say she felt like she could confide in me was all I needed to hear. I was definitely doing something right. “Do you want to see your mother? She might like to know that she’s going to have a grandson.”

“Pregnant with a strip club owner slash drug dealer’s son? She’d have a field day with that one.” She leaned back in her chair, shook her head, and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Well, you wouldn’t have to get into all the details, really.”

“I don’t want to lead anyone to her, though. I respect her enough to not put her in harm’s way.”

“When was the last time you spoke to her?”

“When Simon proposed. She seemed happy for me, but then everything happened a month later.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Caleb, I still love him. I don’t know if I could ever fall out of love with him. And that’s not fair to you.”

I reached over to her and grabbed her hand. “I’m not rushing anything with us. I really like you being in my life. I think you like being in mine. I know I can’t compete with him, but I’m not going anywhere and I don’t want you going anywhere.”

She nodded and said, “I just need time.”

“I’ll give you all the time you need, Angie. For now, we need to focus on finding Simon’s killer.”

She sighed and reached for her mug, letting go of my hand. I hated to drill her, but there was no other way around it. I leaned back and rested my elbows on the table.

“Was a last name mentioned when you heard the name Mateo?”

“No.” She placed her mug down on the table and stared at it, not meeting my eye.

“Had you ever heard that name before?”

“No.”

“Was Simon secretive when he was on the phone?”

She paused and thought about it before she turned her head toward me. “I guess you could say that.”

“Did you ever overhear one of his conversations?”

“I did once, but nothing made sense.”

“Because of his accent?”

“Actually, no. Sometimes his accent was thick and sometimes he sounded like a Yankee. He was so good to me that I never questioned it.”

“Questioned what, exactly?”

“I don’t think he was really Irish. I hate to say that, but being that he was nestled inside the drug world without my knowledge, it’s possible he lied to me about everything. But he was really good to me. He never treated me bad. He didn’t even want me to strip. He loved me, and I loved him. I hate that his name is being dragged through the mud.”

“I’m not dragging his name through the mud, Angie. I’m just trying to get to the bottom of this. We need to find out who killed him.”

She let out a calming exhale and nodded.

“What did you hear during his phone conversation?”

“Something about a meeting point and …” she shook her head. “I was young when my father died, but I was used to the way he spoke. I had become familiar with guns and military terms from an early age. And the way that Simon talked on the phone that night sounded very formal; very military-like. It was weird, but I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I just figured that was his business so I didn’t snoop.”

“What did he say that made you think military?”

“He said 0200 hours … 2:00am. This was the day before he was shot.” She shook her head and placed her hands against the wooden table. “Why would a drug dealing strip club owner use military time?”

My eyes darted around aimlessly as I shook my head. “I don’t know. This is a good start, though. You’re doing a good job.” She nodded and I continued, “Would you be able to identify the man who shot him?”

“I relive that moment every day of my life. I’d have no problem identifying him.”

“This is good, Angie. I’ll have Parker compile photos fitting his description.”

“Caleb, besides that, I don’t know how much help I can be. He hid all of that stuff so well. I didn’t know he was into anything shady until I saw it all go down in front of me.” She sighed. “But it’s getting easier. I feel like I can survive now. I felt dead before, and now it’s just … different. It really is because of you.”