Authors: Heidi Marshall
Jacob stood up from his perch in the daffodils and wiped his dirty hands on his jeans. He had come to look forward to these coffee breaks with Mrs. Henry. Jacob was a very private man, and he spent the majority of his time working alone in other people’s gardens. He actually preferred it that way, but Mrs. Henry was easy to talk to and he enjoyed her company. She never asked prying questions, but somehow had a way of getting him to open up a bit.
“I’ll take it black today, Mrs. Henry. I’m watching my girlish figure,” he said, patting his stomach.
Olivia rolled her eyes at the trim man and brought two cups of coffee to the kitchen table. The breakfast nook had a fabulous view of the garden from the bay window. They could see the stream that had been flowing steadily since Christmas, which now poured over the river rocks and past a patch of tulips that were fully in bloom.
“You do wonderful work, Jacob. I’m so lucky to have found you.” Jacob smiled appreciatively. He wasn’t one to need praise, but he felt pride in knowing that his work was respected. The pair sat and sipped their coffee and talked about this and that. Before long, Jacob stood up and announced that he should be getting back to work. “I’ve got some iris bulbs that I’d love to get in the ground today. Would you mind taking care of that before you leave?”
“Not at all,” he replied. “Where are they?”
“They’re down the hall in my sewing room in a box on the middle shelf.” Olivia began to clean up from the coffee as Jacob set off to find the bulbs.
He entered the sewing room and saw two boxes stacked on top of each other on the middle shelf. The box on the bottom was labeled flowers, and the other was labeled letters. As he attempted to pull the box containing the bulbs off the shelf, he accidentally knocked the box labeled letters onto the ground with a crash.
“Everything okay in there?” yelled Olivia from the kitchen.
“Yes, I just knocked something over! I’m sorry, I’ll clean it up. Nothing is broken!”
Jacob began to gather up the multi-colored envelopes that had fallen from the box and put them back in. They were secured in bunches by rubber bands, but there was one envelope that was loose from the group, and the letter that had been inside had fallen out and was lying several inches away. Jacob reached for the letter, and as he was putting it back into the envelope, he saw the words
Love, Kate
written at the bottom of the white page decorated with orange poppies.
He knew it was wrong, but he began to read the letter. This young woman whom he had met months ago had intrigued him, and he had often wondered about her.
Dear Mom,
Things are finally figured out with Ian. I said all the things I needed to say to him, but unfortunately he doesn’t have the same feelings for me that I have for him. He made that very clear. It’s just so confusing, Mom. We’ve been acting like a couple for months, and now I find out that he just wants to be friends? I don’t get it.
He’s such a good man, and I trusted him so much. I mean, we’ve known each other for years and I really thought he had finally gotten to the point where he could accept the fact that we need each other. But I guess he only needed me for certain things, and not for everything. I can’t live like that. I can’t be someone’s almost-girlfriend. I want all of someone and to give them all of me, not just certain parts that we choose because they feel safe.
As devastated and as hurt as I am about Ian, I feel free. Now that I know he’s not willing to give me what I want, I can try to move on. I miss him, Mom. It was so nice to have someone to depend on and to spend time with. But I think this was the right thing, as hard as it was, because now we both know the truth. You were always telling me how important truth is, and I’m learning the painful yet necessary lesson that you were right.
It’s really tough. When I saw him standing in the garden on Christmas Eve I was so sure that this was it. Now I’m trying to learn to live with the reality that it wasn’t meant to be.
Love, Kate
Jacob folded the letter and replaced it in the envelope and the envelope in the box. She’s better off without him, he thought. As he walked through the kitchen with the iris bulbs, Olivia could have sworn that she saw a slight smile on his face.
The day was unseasonably warm for April, but Kate decided that in spite of the heat, it was time to do a little spring-cleaning. Somehow she felt that if she cleaned out some of the forgotten corners of her apartment, she might be able to face the forgotten and wounded corners of her life as well. Slipping into a pair of cutoffs and an oversized t-shirt that she had “borrowed” from a boyfriend in college and then never returned, she twisted her unruly hair into a ponytail on top of her head and blasted the radio so loudly that she could hear it from any room in the house.
After giving the bathroom a deep cleaning and stopping for a quick break to eat an orange and check her email, Kate plopped down in front of her hall closet and pulled out the first box that she saw. It only took a few seconds to realize that it was the box she had packed up quickly that day in January after Ian had broken her heart. She had rushed around the apartment in a rage, taking everything that reminded her of Ian and shoving it into the box. She hadn’t looked at it since that night, and she sighed deeply as she felt an emptiness in the pit of her stomach as she remembered how horrible their last conversation had been. But time passed, and the pain that plagued her had slowly changed from sharp and crippling to dull and depressing.
“I don’t know if I want to look through this,” she whispered to no one.
Shrugging her shoulders, she decided to fully embrace the idea of spring-cleaning and go through this forgotten box. Just because it was shoved into a closet doesn’t mean that it had gone away.
The first thing she pulled out was a framed picture that had once sat on the table beside her bed. It was a picture of her and Ian in the Baileys’ backyard. He had his arm casually slung around her shoulders, and she was looking up at him with a sweet smile. She loved this picture. They looked so happy; so connected. She slowly rubbed her thumb across the glass as she remembered what it was like to have him in her life.
Setting the picture aside, she reached into the box and found a stack of postcards. Kate couldn’t remember how the tradition had started, but she and Ian had been sending each other postcards for years. She made it a point to find the most ridiculously un-masculine postcards, like with pictures of kittens in an embrace or babies dressed as flowers, to send to Ian. He, in return, always sent her cheesy tourist postcards. Part of the tradition was to write embarrassing messages on the back. She giggled as she turned the pile over, wondering what her postman thought of the postcard wishing her luck on her first day of her taxidermy class or the one reminding her of her back hair removal appointment. It was very unlike Ian to participate in such an outrageous tradition, but she always loved that he made the effort to step outside his comfort zone and do something uncharacteristic.
It’s funny
, she thought.
This actually seems like something Darren would do
.
Next she pulled out a crumpled up church program. Following in the footsteps of something her mother used to do when Kate was young, Kate would draw pictures of animals and give them a human name in an attempt to make Ian laugh. Franklin the hippo, Beatrice the earthworm, Tiffani the manatee…she shook her head at her poor attempt at artwork.
As she reached into the box for the next item, she shrieked as she felt a hand on her shoulder.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! It’s just me!”
Kate jumped to her feet and turned around to see Darren standing in the hallway, his hands in the air.
“Darren!” she cried, smacking him on the arm, “you scared me half to death! You know I hate being snuck up on, you pill!”
“Well it’s not like I did it on purpose. I knocked and knocked, but your music is up so darn loud! No wonder you didn’t hear me. Your door was unlocked, so I let myself in.” He rubbed his arm where Kate had hit him. “Ow! You’re a violent woman, Kate Henry.”
“You bet I am,” she said defensively. “Did you hear that, potential stalkers and intruders?” she yelled. “I am a VIOLENT WOMAN. I will hurt you. Fear me.” “That’ll show ‘em,” said Darren, rolling his eyes. “What are you doing? And why do you look like someone who stands outside the 7-11 begging for change to buy a Slurpee?”
“I’m spring-cleaning. And this is my spring-cleaning outfit. And to make up for scaring me, I will allow you the great pleasure of driving down to 7-11 to get me a Slurpee.”
Not expecting him to actually do it, she was surprised as he yelled, “Blue cherry or Coke flavored?” over his shoulder as he headed towards the front door. “Coke flavored!” she said, eagerly anticipating how good the icy cold treat would taste.
Even though Darren had been a close friend for years, he and Kate recently were starting to get even closer. They were still only friends, of course, but with Ian out of the picture Kate found herself with a lot more free time on her hands. Darren had seemed to sense that she needed someone to help fill her free time so that she wouldn’t spend it dwelling on Ian, and took on the responsibility to be that person for Kate.
She gladly accepted the company, and for some reason she wasn’t worried that Darren was going to turn into another Ian. He was just…Darren. Her goofy, wonderful, and sometimes annoying friend Darren. She spent many evenings playing board games with him, or reading a book while he fooled around on the piano, or laughing until her sides hurt while he sang her songs in his joking falsetto voice (which she called his dolphin voice) – and each one of these evenings was one less evening that she spent dwelling on losing Ian and being alone. And because of that, she was incredibly thankful for Darren.
She picked up the box and headed towards the living room. She set the box on the coffee table and turned on the television, surfing through the channels for nothing in particular. Darren opened the door several minutes later, holding two cups.
“Spring-cleaning, huh? Looks like you’re spring…lounging,” he said, handing her one of the cups.
“Just taking a little break,” she said, gladly accepting the drink. “You didn’t actually have to go buy me a Slurpee, you know. I was mostly kidding.”
“Well, I was mostly sorry for scaring you.”
“Only mostly?!”
“Yeah,” he replied, chuckling, “because it’s actually really funny to hear you shriek. You sound like such a girl!”
“Well, in case you hadn’t noticed, I
am
a girl,” she shot back, “so I have an excuse. But,” she said as a devilish twinkle appeared in her eyes, “you, sir, have no excuse whatsoever.”
“For what?” he asked cautiously.
“Screaming like a girl.” All of a sudden, she got up from her seat and shoved her freezing cold cup against the back of Darren’s neck. Just as she expected, he let out a high squeal and wiggled away as she doubled over in laughter.
“Let’s just pretend like that never happened,” he said, taking a seat next to her.
“Deal,” she said. “I won’t say a word about it to anyone. Until you give me a reason to blackmail you, that is.”
“Fair enough.”
Kate took a long drink of her icy beverage. “Now that hits the spot. But I’m still kind of in a bad mood. Make me laugh.”
“Oh, you think I can just be funny on command like that?”
“No. I know you can be funny on command. Show me what you’ve got.”
“Your confidence in me is astounding. Okay, let’s see…did I ever tell you my college bathroom story?”
“No, and I’m certain it’s going to be an excellent story, since it involves college and a bathroom.”
“Okay. I’m going to tell you, but you need to know that very few people know this story. You are officially in the inner
inner
circle, so please feel appropriately honored.”
“Done and done.”
“So it was late in the summer. I had gotten back to college early with the entire worship team so we could practice before school started. We were in the music building one afternoon, and the campus was totally dead. Seriously, there was like no one around. We had just gotten back from going out to lunch at this Mexican place, and all of a sudden I had…the feeling.”