Moonstone (15 page)

“Why would you need to?”

She checked herself before she throttled him. “Because it involves me.”

“So you can give in to me out of guilt?”

“So I can know you better, you fool man!”

He winced.
His skull hit the headboard with a thump. Outside, a gust of wind rattled the window. “Six years,” he said.

William rolled o
ut of bed, Rhiannon catching the tray before it spilled over. He stopped in front of the hearth with his hands on the mantel.

“Who was she
? Your last . . . conquest.”

“
Rhiannon, please.”

“
Nay,
you
please.”

He looked at her from over his shoulder
, eyes pleading.

“You know my secrets. ’
Tis only fair that I know yours.”

He turned to face her, hands at his sides. “I was s
educed.” He screwed his face up. “Nay, I drank too much, not that I wouldna have agreed had I been fully sober.”

“What happened?”

“Two wenches in the village had thought to raise their lot in life.” He didn’t look at her. 

Two? Rhiannon held her tongue.

“They hoped that if one of them bore me a son, that son could become laird, should some ill fate befall me before I could produce a legitimate heir.”

He spoke of his own demise with such ease. She hugged her knees close.
“Go on.”

“They almost got
what they wanted.” He stared over her head. “Deborah was with child. But she died giving birth. The
bairn
, a lad, died with her.”

His son.

William’s son.

“
Did you . . .” She couldn’t say it.

“I didna love her.
” It took him no time at all to reply.

R
elief flooded her. Why was that so important to her? Did she want to be his only love? Was that selfish of her? She didn’t entirely understand the nature of his relationship with Triona either, and that bothered her.

He moved toward her like a man
who waded through chest-deep water, then sank on the edge of the bed.

“
Please, come here,” she said. “Because I think you need someone to hold you.”

T
he tray was moved and he was at her side in lightning speed. He stretched out alongside her and Rhiannon laid her cheek on his chest.

“You have never done this before,” he
said.

“I know.
”

“You were not ready.”

“Nay, I was not.”

Chapter Fourteen

“Can you stand for a few minutes, so that the seamstress can measure you?” Alice asked.

“
I don’t know, I have not cleared standing with the lord and master,” Rhiannon said, rolling her eyes.

Alice laughed and helped her up from where she was sitting on the edge of the bed.
“I am sure he will understand.”

After nearly a week, Rhiannon was still sore, as if she’d spent that horrible night running for her life, rather than bleeding in a bed. Alice tucked a steadying arm around Rhiannon.

“
I am Fay, my lady,” said a rotund woman holding a measuring tape in her hand. “And I will be quick about this.” She nodded, her double chin wobbling.

“Yes, I have heard that before. If William walks in he will be fit to be tied,” Rhiannon said. “I’m
noo
to be
oot
of this bed without him,” she exaggerated her words in a rendition of his brogue.

As much as she appreciated the way he wanted to take care of her, she still felt like he was
forcing her hand, and that didn’t settle well.    

Fay
came forward to begin her measurements.

“She is much slimmer than usual,” Alice
said quietly.

“
I thought as much, judging by her bone structure.” Fay took more measurements, then looked her over. She came to Rhiannon’s shoulder and had to arch her neck back to do it. “I had better fashion them as I do my Lady Triona’s gowns.” She planted her hands on her ample hips. “I take her gowns in and out more times than a cuckoo leaves its clock.” She shook her head and muttered, “Have to go do it again right now.”

What?
Triona was on her fourth child in four years? Did it ever stop?

The room spun and grew fuzzy.
Alice caught Rhiannon’s hands, helping her onto the bed. Before she had the chance to catch her breath, the door opened. Rhiannon didn’t have to look up to know it was William. Anyone else would have knocked first. 

He
stopped just inside their chamber, crossing his arms over his chest and frowning. Muscles in his arms flexed against the linen of his shirt. Alice dismissed herself. Fay shook her head and walked away, muttering something about new babies and measurements.

William closed the door. “You are not supposed to be out of bed
when I am not here.” One dark brow lifted as if daring her to defy him.

She
dared. “I want to go outside.”

His leather jerkin creaked as he unfolded his arms
.

“You can carry me if you must.”
And she knew that he must, because she was still too weak. The only reason why she asked in the first place was because of the look on his face. He was practically begging her to test him.

“’Tis cold.
” He shifted, and the floorboard squeaked under his weight. “It snowed last night.” 

“Wrap me in fleece. You will anyway.”

He leaned toward her, then planted his hands on the mattress, one on either side of her hips.

“Take me outside
,” she said. “I want to see Triona’s gardens before they’re completely covered in snow.”

“Too late.
They already are.”

She
narrowed her gaze. “Take me out.”

“Nay.
” William scooped her into his arms. She grabbed his shoulders, holding on as he carried her across the room and sat her on the window seat. He reached over her head and opened the shutters. Rhiannon blinked into the light.

“That
is as close as you’re getting to the outdoors,” he said.

Rhiannon looked out the window.
“I can only see the training field from here.”

“Good. You can watch me humiliate Ronan in front of his men.”

She pushed back the sleeves on her chemise. The fire made sweat break out on her face and neck. It had been allowed to burn down too low once, and William had ordered the maids not to allow it to happen again.

“Does it have to be so hot in here?”

William sat next to her. “There’s a draft from the window.”

Rhiannon’s
scarred lower lip was itchy and she chewed on it as she glared out said window. Below them, men sparred, undaunted by the coming winter. Warm breath puffed on the air. A fine layer of white coated the ground and speckled the trampled field. She shivered as the wind blew against the windowpanes.

“And you want
ed to go out,” he said.

She cleared her throat.
“How was your morning hunting excursion? Did you bring down one of your own?” She flashed him her sweetest smile. “A bull pig.”

“
I had assumed that was what you meant, and nay, I did not.”

“Let me outside.”

William rubbed the back of his neck.
“I will take you to Triona’s solar.”

“
You will?” She turned to face him, her thigh grazing his and his elbow skimming across her breasts. She felt heat flare her face. “Still too warm in here.”

He smiled and Rhiannon looked away, chewing her itchy bottom lip.

“I will take you to
Triona’s solar whilst I am out, since you dinna have any interest in watching me.” William rolled his shoulder.

Leave it to him to offer her a taste of freedom, only to guilt her out of it in the same breath.
“I will watch you. But don’t be at it all day.”

“I willna.
I don’t like leaving you for very long.” He stood. “I will send Alice to sit with you.”

Rhiannon
watched his backside as he crossed the room. She had to admit, it was a nice view. He stopped at the door and turned.

She had the insane notion
that he’d read her thoughts and blushed despite of herself.

“
Verra nice,
mo leannan
,” he said.

Rhiannon smoothed a ha
nd over her hair. It was brushed to a sheen. Her chemise had slipped off her shoulder, and she pulled it back up.

“
You’re putting on weight.” He turned and left the room.

Rhiannon crossed her arms over her chest
, realizing he was right.

She
’d come to admire William’s strength, and to depend on it for protection. She liked the way he smelled and the way he sounded, and even the way he looked.  

She’d come far, but
the thought of giving her body to him still made her squirm.

T
here was a soft knock on the door.

“Come in, Alice,
” Rhiannon said.

Alice pushed
the door open, then stopped. “I swear it gets hotter in here all the time.”

“
Come sit with me by the window. Once in a while a draft blows through.”

“Should I
leave the door open?”

Rhiannon
gestured to her chemise, which came to her mid-calves.

“Perhaps not
.” Alice closed the door, then smiling, plopped down next to Rhiannon. She looked out the window. “There’s Connor.” She pointed, then turned sidewise so she could see better.

Rhiannon
watched William walk onto the field. He looked up, probably to confirm that she was watching. Connor did as well, nodding to Alice, who waved so hard that Rhiannon had to move lest she get smacked across the jaw. Connor turned to face his sparring partner like a man who was trying to impress a woman.

Which he was.

“He still has not asked you to marry him?” Rhiannon said.

“
No. But he did ask if I would meet him in Lady Triona’s garden later today.”

“At least you get to go
out.” Rhiannon stopped herself. She didn’t want to spoil the moment for Alice. “Tell me what happens?”

“I will. I’ll tell you everything.”

Rhiannon turned her attention back to William. His breath curled in puffs on the cold air. As he worked up a sweat against Ronan, steam rose off his body.

“Is it lust to admire a man before he is your husband?” Alice asked.

“I think admiration is admiration. I know lust, and ’tis ugly.”

“I am sorry. I should not have.”

Rhiannon squeezed Alice’s hand and smiled. “You have the right to speak your mind around me.”

“I hope
Connor wants a short betrothal.”

And
Rhiannon wished she was as innocent as her maid.

She watched Ronan and William toss down their swords. The match wasn’t over.
Och, nay, it had only begun. They gave each other regular bruises, and came off the field grinning for it.

Rhiannon
propped her elbow on the windowsill. “I’m scared,” she confessed. “Not of him per say, but of it.”

Alice watched her for a moment before she turned back to the window. “
He wouldn’t hurt you.”

“Not on purpose, nay.”

“You are a married woman.” She lifted her brows. “Sooner or later.”

“
Sooner
than later.” Rhiannon tucked her hair behind her ears. “Are you scared?”

Alice’s
eyes turned wistful. “Nay.”

Rhiannon supposed she
had no reason to.

William
was wrestling with Ronan now. The sun was beginning to melt the snow, and they would no doubt both be covered in mud when they returned to the hall.

“I don
’t want to be scared,” Rhiannon said.

“I know.”

“You were right about William though. You always are.”

She
shrugged. “It was easy. I knew you would be loved. You have so much to give.”

Rhiannon blinked back tears.
“Have I told you what a wonderful, perfect friend you are?”

“Not lately, but I already knew I was.”